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Cosmic Funnies
YOU ARE THE REASON
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@selpht-blog1
Rb if you’re grateful for all of your followers
even if you have 1
Even if you have 10
100
1000
Etc.
YESSS I LOVE ALL U AMAZING FUCKERS SO MUCH
SO MUCH YOU GUYS ARE ANGELS AND YOU SPOIL ME 💜💕💜💜💜💕💕💕💜
Yes :3
All of you are amazing and we are so lucky to have you as followers!
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Good stuff.
This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.
pinkfoxtails submitted:
There’s a post going around that is describing mulan being more badass than the disney version and that she dueled her father before going to war, the emperor offered her the hand of the princess when she came back etc etc but a lot of that is wrong.
OP:
okay I feel like I’m the only person who knows that Mulan was a real person and not talked about enough
Her story goes mostly how the Disney version went, except she didn’t go to war as a quest for self-discovery or because she felt as though she couldn’t make her parents proud. The sole and only reason she disguised herself as a young man was to take her Father’s place in the war.
So when she told her parents that she wanted to this, they were like wtf no you’re a girl and it’s chaotic out there. And you know what she did? She put on male clothes and challenged her own Father to a duel. Her dad was like ‘who the hell are you’ but accepted. When Mulan won and revealed herself as his daughter, he was like wOAH okay you can go. Basically she made sure to get her parent’s consent before going, so not only are her parents awesome, she was decent enough to not leave them hanging for 12 years.
Yes, she was at war for 12 years, but she not in fact meet a handsome general. Instead she BECAMEa general. Eventually the war was won, and the Emperor was so impressed by her he wanted to wed the Princess to her. It was only then that she revealed she was in fact a woman. Then she accepted the rewards and went right back home to her normal life.
There is now even a crater on Venus named after her.
Bolded parts are where OP is wrong.
The part where she only disguised herself to take her father’s place is correct, but she didn’t tell her parents and didn’t challenge her father to a duel lmao what, and didn’t tell her parents that she left. It’s also unclear whether she became a general or not, it’s only stated that she received high merits. The emperor didn’t want to wed the princess to her, he only offered her an official post in his court, which was a huge thing at the time, which she refused, and only asked for a camel that could travel a thousand (Chinese) miles, so she could go back home. She also didn’t reveal that she was a woman to him, because she would have been punished, as that was why she disguised herself in the first place. She did reveal herself as a woman to her war companions, once she got back home and put on her makeup and lady clothes.
I’m Chinese and I studied the original version of the ballad of Mulan, which is written in Classical Chinese and can only be read if you’ve studied Chinese extensively, and even I have difficulty with it.
I’m submitting this to you because that freaking post has come across my dash way too many times, and turns out to have 261788 notes and I really, really don’t want that many people to think that this is the true story of Mulan, and also I know that you understand the importance of preserving culture and folk stories, not embellished ones, but the original versions. Yes, OP’s version sounds cooler, but it is not the original, it’s a description of a Hong Kong movie adaptation of the ballad, which would obviously put more dramatic elements in it.
I really like that people on Tumblr spread more awareness about the original story of Mulan and other characters bowderlised by media, but please, please, please for the love of god, FACT CHECK. PLEASE. STOP MESSING UP MY CULTURE.
WOW. I studied this a little bit in college too, and the versions I keep seeing on tumblr don’t resemble the version I read about either? At all?
As far as I remember, the biggest point of the Ballad of Mulan was filial piety, and it’s actually really fucked up how Western feminists have stolen and warped the story to fit their OWN values while stepping on and erasing the values of the actual culture the story came from. It’s even more insidious than that, because as time goes on, records of the original will become more and more diluted by these completely inaccurate “retellings” of the original story of Hua Mulan.
# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB
This is it. The video that made memes illegal in Russia. Reblog it every day to piss Sadimir Putin off.
guys this is part of history now. legislative and cultural history. there will be law students and cultural anthropologists alike debating this video and it’s aftereffects in the future and that is fucking wild
why do you hurt me so
oh my fucking god why am i tearing up this is ridiculous
This is super cute! So, to all of you who are sobbing, let me tell you the truth of the matter. Wooly Bear caterpillars are born in autumn/early winter, and live as far north as the arctic. They freeze over the winter months, completely solid. Then, come spring time, they thaw out, and turn into an Isabella Tiger moth. So this little guy/girl is going to have a very happy memory to dream about over the winter. And you can all stop crying now. :)
omg thank you
if Tumblr dies, it is content like this I will miss the most
A PSA about trucks from a truck driver
I and some colleagues were talking about how we wish everyone could see the safety videos that our company was showing us, because I don’t think most people understand how traffic works in a truck. So here’s some things we wish everyone on the road knew.
- we’re not kidding about tailgating. If you’re right behind us on a straight highway? Chances are we have NO IDEA you’re there, which means we can’t anticipate any of your movements. Plus slowing down takes multiple downshifts, so we might start decreasing speed way earlier than you expect.
- We’re not kidding about any of our blind spots. WE CAN’T SEE YOU, GUYS.
- That bit about slowing down taking a while? The same goes for when you’re in front of us. Don’t cut off a truck. Oh god, PLEASE don’t cut off a truck. If you cut me off, I’m not irritated, I’m terrified. For YOU. It can take 7 to 9 seconds for us to stop. DON’T CUT OFF TRUCKS.
- Before you get mad about how slow we’re going on the highway, keep in mind that many companies govern their vehicles so they literally CAN’T go over 60 or 65. This is a good thing, I promise. Because…
- Do you know what happens when a car meets a truck in an accident? The car gets totaled and the truck needs a new coat of paint. You will not win this fight. I know nobody likes getting stuck behind a big dumb truck, but it’s not worth your life.
We are trying our best to protect you from our 80,000 pound death machines. Please help us out.
This information is actually useful. Thanks for posting.
If you’re passing a truck, wait to merge back in front of them until you can see both of their headlights in your rearview. If you merge too close they literally can’t see you
Remember that whole “a body in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force”? You really don’t want the thing that so heavily outweighs you discover you as the outside force. It’d be like a linebacker in American football tackling a 2-year-old. (Especially if the truck is hauling a load.)
Dear people planning to move to pillowfort:
As someone not involved in the development of pillowfort but am a web developer, I think you should lower your expectations, but not for the reason you think.
Pillowfort is a baby. A newborn. A smol bab. If you were here during the early days of Tumblr, think of that.
Pillowfort simply cannot be the immediate solution to your woes. It needs to be nurtured and cared for to become a mature and happy adult.
If you want Pillowfort to work, they’ll need feedback, advice, bug reports, etc. This is a chance to make Pillowfort the Ao3 of Fanfiction.net. It’s not gonna happen overnight, you need to give it time and love and it’ll get there.
If you don’t want to pay money to get into the beta, that’s ok. It will be open to the public soon enough and you won’t have to pay a dime. Their financial model moving forward sounds good (a subscription fee for super extra features), but even an Ao3 model would work swell for them probably.
We’re living in an interesting time on the internet. Governments across the world are cracking down on content and yet community run websites are starting to thrive more and more.
Tumblr once upon a time was what Pillowfort is today, but this time, let’s make sure Pillowfort can stay independent from mega corporations.
yes this
most of the criticism i’ve seen of pf so far ultimately come back to this
is it an alright platform with a good community? yes. does it have a lot of potential? yes. does it have a lot of problems still being worked out? yes. are the staff open and responsive? absolutely. do i recommend it? yes, if you’re willing to live in a house while it’s being built.
but it’s not a ready-made replacement for tumblr. set your expectations accordingly.
Can we take a second to appreciate how badly @staff has screwed themselves over?
Rather than immediately jumping on the problem and containing it before it became such a large issue, they turned a blind eye to a rampant infestation of bots accounts and child predators openly expressing a desire to exchange illegal material for months.
Apple finally brings the ban hammer down on the official Tumblr app in the App Store, saying they need to get things sorted out because the app has become a safe haven for predators.
The Tumblr staff panics, because if their app isn’t on the App Store, they won’t be able to update and fix their notoriously bug ridden and barely functional mobile app.
Trying to appease Apple and have the mobile app put back on the App Store, the staff hastily programs a bot designed to detect and delete bot accounts, then proceeds to unleash it on the site, giving it authorization to immediately delete any bot accounts it detects without requiring a staff member to review whether the account is indeed a bot or contains illegal material.
The bot deletes a large portion of the bot accounts, but in a programming error that was obviously overlooked as the staff rushed to program and release it, the bot also deleted every account that has ever had a bot interact with it via a reblog or like.
Which, given this is an issue that’s been occurring for months, is a large portion of tumblr.
TL;DR
Tumblr staff chose to ignore a rampant problem with child predators and bot accounts for months, and Apple removed Tumblr from the App Store as a result.
Tumblr staff panicked and released a bot to try and nuke the accounts of the bots causing problems, which accidentally nuked the accounts of everyone the bots reblogged from as well.
Well done.
When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?
Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?
What measures are taken to secure the building ?
Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?
Can I pay rent bi-weekly? What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)
Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental) Am I allowed to paint the walls? Is there any additional storage? Do you do regular pest control?
count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)
LAUNDRY FACILITIES Definitely ask about security Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer) If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs What kind of heating/AC there is Procedure/response time for any maintenance How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem) What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead? Whether the apartment is furnished
Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places: When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in? Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into
not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:
when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?
can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?
what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)
if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property
is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year
are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE
-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.)
-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it
-what KIND of electricity?
-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)
-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know)
-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right.
-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right.
I CANNOT SECOND THIS ENOUGH.
ALSO
- who last lived here? why did they leave?
- Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)
- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).
- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?
- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).
- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).
- What are the rules on hanging pictures?
- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.
- What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).
This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾
Note to my ex.
Today my professor told me every cell in our entire body is destroyed and replaced every seven years. How comforting it is to know that one day I will have a body that you will have never touched.
This just made me feel so warm.
thank you.
Important especially for victims of abuse, remember your body is yours and it heals in more ways than you realize.
Okay, so I just want to say that this isn’t necessarily true. Most of your cells have died and regrown several times in seven years, but some haven’t, and some have died and won’t return. The seven year cell renewal is a myth perpetuated by popsci in magazines everywhere.
That being said, anywhere they may have touched you, your skin, your hair, your nails and so on, was changing the moment they departed your life, even before that. Your skin became skin they’ve never touched within 27 days. Your hair grows (on average) six inches per year, so depending on how long yours is, you were rid of their touch there within a few years tops. Your nails will completely regrow within six months tops. You were a body they never touched within three or four years. You will be a body they never touched within three or four years.
You have been rewriting your body, you are your own, you are constantly changing, and you are the only one who owns your body 100% of the time.
I needed this today.
People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.
The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.
It’s not what is normally on my blog but take note. I work retail and I’ll thankfully lucky to work at a place where my higher up’s treat me well, and where most of my customers are nice. Even so, come December, I’m gonna be working a lot more and its gonna be a lot busier than normal, and I’m gonna be stressed. I also know what it’s like to work at a place where the higher ups and customers treat you like shit, and it almost killed me.
Please, be gentle with retail workers. We’re gonna be stressed, we’re gonna be panicking, and we’re gonna be overworked, all of us. Be gentle, be understanding, and don’t get angry if we make mistakes. We’re trying our best
A good reminder to post today! And remember that retail doesn’t have to be this way—it’s the negative and dismissive way society treats retail employees, and the lack of unions, that make retail so dehumanizing!
This has been a rough month, as previously stated, but I hope to be back to writing regular Tumblr posts in a few days. If not, I’ll certainly be back in action this December!
You know just how long 2018 has been? You know how long?
Did you even remember there was an Olympic games this year? Because I didn’t. I thought oh, last year. No. There was a winter Olympics in Korea and I forgot about it.
You know how long this year has been? The tide pod thing happened in January of this year
The royal wedding was only in May I am so upset
love simon came out this year hhh
nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it
“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”
“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”
please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that
bishck ifunut
IMLAUGHINGSOHARD.
ITS LIKT A FUCKINF VACCUMM
IT’S 3 AM I DIDN’T NEED THIS LAUGHTER
I FUCKING MADE THAT SECOND FACE ACCIDENTALLY BECAUSE I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH AND IT MADE IT WORSE
This mouth empty.
E A T
