The Chapters.

[septiaherdiani]

A Greetings from The Past

It’s 00:53 when she starts to write this string out.

Don’t you worry, she’s had enough sleep for the past few days. She’s been working out for the past few months to build her strenght. She miss running. She is not sure whether she is getting thinner or gainning weight, but she’s sure you are the second one.

She wanted to tell you that she had a dream of you last night after a long time. She wasn’t thinking of you before, nor knowing anything about you recently. It wasn’t a nice dream. Can she said it was a bad dream? And believe it or not your existence still shake her, even in a dream.

She knows that you are okay with your life; your job, your friends, your family, your songs, your writings, your coffee(s). She’s been told by someone that you’ve found — what you’ve called — a Sunflower(?)

(:

She still had Nasi Padang with Rendang for lunch when something related to you happen without she even realized. When she was waiting for her friend outside the coffee shop, she told her boss about you. You want to know his questions after?

“Do you thinking of him before?” “Nope” “Or recently?” “Nope” “Don’t you think of him anymore, please. And it’s just a flower of your sleep, nothing more.” “I know”

But, she’s wonder…

“Do you thinking of her recently? Or yesterday?”

Oh she hope she can ask you that question. _

June 19th, 2020 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Our Europe Trip: The Hustle and Bustle

As you read the title, I will bring you to my — our trip to some countries in Europe. We will walk down my memory lane; from my point of view and my corner or feeling.

Photo doodled by @ruthambunan

On this date, two years ago, we were off to our first trip together. 22:45 WIB; CGK-AMS; GA88; PK-GID

-

It was October 2017, we were in our friend’s car (we called him NOS) around south perimeter, and out of the blue that idea just came out,

“Europe yuk!”

The others were response excitedly, while I was only response casually since I had another plan next year. We can have plan, but in the end Allah will decide. And Allah is the best planner. In short, the idea of Europe trip was finally answered.

“Yuk!”

The first thing we decided was our departure. After lots of consideration and others, we will go on April. We started to find flight schedule that fits with our plan. One of the perks of working in subsidiary of Garuda Indonesia Airlines is we get one free ticket every year. So, we just issued it to our human resources department.

After the ticket has been issued, we made an itinerary for around ten days; which countries, what places, where to stay, how to get one place to another. We decided that France, Germany, Austria, and Netherlands will be the countries to explore while in Europe. In the beginning, we agreed to keep our budget as low as we can do. We chose Flixbus for our inter country transportation with great deal. It only cost EUR 99.00 for 5 times trip. Lucky us! Finding places to stay was challanging. I will give the detail in the other writing.

Next, we had to prepare the documents to apply visa Schengen Netherlands. The required documents are copy of passport, flight ticket for round trip, boooked hotel while in Europe, itinerary, photo, travel insurance. We got the visas 10 days before our departure, with a little help from our colleague. I know we’ve been too tight to our schedule, but it smooth in the end.

The D-day. I was excited and anxious at the same time. We were arrived at the airport around half to nine in the evening, put our luggage, and waiting to be called to boarding room. We passed the security checking and headed to our plane at half past ten.

“Fourteen hours of flying, wow”

April 27th, 2020 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

The Fourth Year

It’s been three and a quarter year since the first day I set my foot in this industry — aviation. Well, not directly in aviation, but related to.

I’ve been working in one of the biggest maintenance, repair, and overhaul (MRO) in Indonesia, Garuda Maintenace Facility AeroAsia, Tbk. GMF is one of susbsidiary of Garuda Indonesia Airlines that used to be one of Technic department in GA.

Our service is to maintenance airplane from A until D Check, both narrow and wide body. I’ve been signing in Logistic departement that related to aircraft engine/part shipment or handling. It’s challanging since this is a new knowledge for me who never had an experience with this kind of industry.

We have four hangar in our work area. Hangar 1 is for wide body maintenance, Hangar 2 is specifically for A and B check of Garuda Indonesia group maintenance, Hangar 3 is for Airbus manintenance, and Hangar 4 is for narrow body maintenance. It’s become one of the biggest narrow body hangar in the world.

We used to hold an olympic to celebrate our anniversary every year. It usually held around March until April. The highlight of the event is on April 26th, but this year is slightly different. We can’t hold an olympic, or celebrate our anniversary due to the pandemic. Our industry was even affected by it, and it’s been hard for us, and other of course.

I hope this too shall pass.

Barakallah my beloved office ❤

April 26th, 2020 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

The First Encounter

-

He, on the other hand, would be the last kind of person she wanted to know more, but the situation was reversed. It started when she was invited into another What’s App group, but she was happy when saw the group’s name.

She has no clue that there is running activity in her current office, even better there is a community there.

No, she is not a runner. She just likes to run. She thinks that running is the cheapest sport anyone can do.

When she worked in one of private bank in Jakarta, she always find a way to run. Although after a night run, she had to go back to work to finish her night shift. It didn’t matter to her since her office was only accross the sport center.

But when she moved to her current work — near the airport, she was hopeless. No more after office running routine, yet she only run once a week. Until two years later.

On the third week of August 2019, she started to run again after seven months. He was there, and as the new comer, she introduced herself to them — the crews. After few minutes of chit chat, they started to move for warming up. It took fifteen minutes, and they prepared to start running. The route was about two until three kilometres.

In the middle of running, she was out of breath. Her friend and him were waiting for her while she told them to go ahead. Although they barely know each other, he was kind enough to wait up for her and her friend. They took a shortcut and arrived first before the others.

And it was the first time she knew that he was exist.

April 25th, 2020 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

I Will Talk about Us, instead.

Hi, How you’ve been doing? How’s your 2020 so far? I know I was a little too late to ask about it. I’ve been quite indolant lately, if I might say an excuse.

Lots of things happened for the past this semester; the good and bad, the joy and sorrow, the bitter and sweet.

The first quarter of 2020, things get hard — too hard for us to handle. The deaths, the bushfire, the flood, the pandemic, the farewell.

“Indeed, with hardship (will be) ease.” — QS 94:6

No no, I won’t talk about those things. I will talk about us, instead.

I came to realise that I haven’t get to thank you for everything you’ve done to me. You know, I’m quite an introvert. I won’t tell anything unless you ask about it. I won’t ask for help when I think I still could handle it myself, but I couldn’t. You came, without a doubt. You helped, you stayed, and you’ve been there for me.

So, here is my thank you letter for you, my siblings from another parents :)

-

Thank you for coming to me, even when I’m not asking to. Thank you for staying with me, when I said I was okay to be left alone. Thank you for asking me ‘are you okay?’ when you realised I laughed too much at the office. Thank you for asking me ‘how are you hold up?’ when you’ve heard some things not quite good related to me.

Thank you for telling me things I souldnt’ve known; things that you know would hurt me and made me sad. You still told me because you rather saw me cry knowing the truth than saw me smiling with a lie. Thank you for having my back when I was not around. Thank you for being my pep talks when I wanted to distract my mind.

Thank you for telling me your little secret and trusting me to keep it. Thank you for encouraging me when I was about to give up. Thank you for making me try my best when I didn’t have power anymore.

Thank you for always supporting me on everything.

Thank you for being there when I cry, thank you for talking me through hard times, thank you for being there when I feel confused and need a little direction.

Thank you for loving me when I’m angry, sad, or upset. I try to be happy around you, but you know when I’m not. That’s a good thing about being best friends.

Thank you for loving me and doing nothing but laughing when we’re out of idea for having fun. Thank you for the slumber in, having a great time together in those night book fair. Thank you for having a cup of coffee and noddle for breakfast on the next day.

Thank you for having after office hangout and talks. Fill each other in with facts, gossip, and things we shouldn’t know. We did nothing but talk and sip our coffee or just a cup of hot choco.

Thank you for having lunch, laughing along the way from office to the x-ray, embarrass our selves together because of funny things that only we know.

Thank you for that afternoon jamming, singing our heart out, reliefing our stress out until pass the twilight.

Thank you for still texting me to make sure I’m still alive, or just tell me about korean dramas, or books, or korean actor’s children, or just teling me you miss me. Thank you for always loving me the same, even if we started to lose contact.

Thank you for always be there no matter what, without asking, because friends like you are hard to find. Thank you for being selfless and helping me in ways I could never repay you for.

Thank you for being who you are, the sweet, caring, loving friends I can’t thank enough.

When this pandemic is over, let’s create another memories together.

-

April 25th, 2020 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Would you?

“We were all strangers once. Until one of us said hello, and then nothing is ever the same again. The question is, would you still say hello if you knew it’s going to end with a goodbye? Would that temporary moment we have between the words justify it?” — Ika Natassa.

She read those words while scrolling one of her social media, about few weeks ago. They’ve tickled her mind, as always. She didn’t get sleep that night until dawn. Don’t bother to ask, because she had no clue either. All she knows that she couldn’t shut the noise inside her head. It kept rewind few years back, and the IF scenario take turn.

What if she refused to join to her friend’s birthday celebration, would you and her meet in another occasion? What if in two years later, she cancel went to the city where you lived, would you and her finally get along? What if few months later she answered ‘no’ for your question at that bookstore, would you and her still be brokenhearted five years later?

Most of people who knows about their story will say with those pity eyes whom she hated the most, “You were wasting your time, you know?” “How would I know?”, she really want to replied them with that, but she set the default answer with a grin instead. Left the answer hanging in the dead air.

She’s been better, put herself together, tidy the room up, and others and others. But today, they all torn apart. It’s funny, life is too funny to be sad about something. It’s too funny when she think everything will be just fine while It’s not. It’s too funny until you can’t laugh at it. And the worst part, she was the last person who found it out.

It’s been settled. She will finish what she has started, everything. Let’s walk down memory lane and meet the ghost from the past;the kind and the evil one, the happy and the sad moments.

December 3rd, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

[267/19] Kali ketiga. . Terima kasih atas doa dan kejutannya 💛💛💛 . Semoga Allah selalu memberikan kebahagiaan untuk kalian, melimpahkan berkah-Nya untuk kalian, memudahkan segala hajat dan urusan kalian. Aamiin Allahumma aamiin. . Mohon maaf yaa kl aku banyakan nyebelinnya 🙈 . Jangan lupa, masih harus raih 22 MUSD 😂 . @daisyustina @suaidahnurunisa @ruthambunan @fisilmikhafah @poppyimunandar @michellnatalie @dhiarn @lidyanurlita @dwyoktavianita @ass_fi @/masrezayanggakpunyaig @dinand_christo @iamdaruma @muhammadhafiiz @diorezkyyoga @rizaladr @willypatar (at Garuda Indonesia™ Maintenance Facility (GMF AeroAsia®)) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2y-eagBZ55V--aS6b9vyWRWoFOyx41DbF_Low0/?igshid=vum9kv1iutng

[septiaherdiani]

A Midnight Call

It’s about last night.

A half to twelve before midnight. She was lying on the bed with phone on her hand, scrolling social media and texting to her friend. She was still wearing her going-to-wedding-invitation outfit while her phone was ringing.

She never gets a midnight phone call anymore, not after him. She looked at the screen and a familiar name was appeared. She was astonished for while and let it rang for a while, just to make sure that the caller was meant to call her.

The ring was stopped. Eight minutes after midnight, her phone was ringing again, and she picked it up.

“Halo”, she said right after slide a green button.

“Hng, I’m tired.”, he said with his sleepy voice.

It was him, with his typical phone calling; sleeping but talking, sleeping but still can answer the question. She was talking to him about anything. She knew that he wouldn’t remember any of it, but deep down she relieved that he still takes her as a place to rest. She knows it’s pathetic to feel that way.

Around two o’clock, she finally fall asleep with him still on the phone, like their habit back then.

September 2nd, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

September Song

Her favorite month of year is coming. She doesn’t have any specific reasons beside that she was born in the same month. Maybe there is a correlation between her favorite number also, nine. September is coming, her month is coming.

It’s twenty minutes after midnight, they were still talking about anything. They are moving from Shophaus to 24-hour noodle store not far from there. Instant noodle would be nice in this kind of weather. She was flashback her memories to three hours before.

Right after he came to Shophaus, soaking wet, and she ordered hot chocolate and Pisang Goreng for him, they were talked about them.

“So, how did you end up here, drenched and all?”, she asked after back to the table.

“Oh, and I’m really sorry for didn’t coming last week. My boss asked me to join with him to the meeting, and I didn’t have your phone number. So... sorry about that.”, she continued.

“It’s okay. You know, truth to be told, I also didn’t come last week.”, he answered with a grind on his face. Two dimples appeared on each side of his cheek. Cute.

“What? How come?”, she is surprised.

“Well, believe it or not, I had a sudden meeting with my client. They were like a huge client who will hold a huge event on the last weekend. I was worried that you would waiting for me last week. But I’m glad you’re not.”, he said.

“I had a thought that you might be come tonight to this place. So, right after I finished my work, I rushed here and get rained on the way here.”, he continued.

She is smiling. There is this warm feeling when she heard his explanation. She knows that she shouldn’t feel that way. They are barely knew each other.

“Hey, why are you quiet all of sudden?”, he disrupted her stargazing.

“Nothing. I just think this coincidence is amazed me. Actually, I don’t believe in coincidence. There is no such thing. Everything that happen had been planed by Allah, even our meeting. But still, you know..”, she replied.

“I understand.”, he said.

They were in silence. He was enjoying his drink and snack while she was enjoying the music that played.

Our love was strong as a lion Soft as the cotton you lie in Times we got hot like an iron You and I

Our hearts had never been broken We were so innocent darling We used to talk 'til the morning You and I

We had the mixtape on every weekend Had it repeating, had it repeating

You were my September song, summer lasted too long Time moves so slowly, when you're only fifteen You were my September song, tell me where have you gone? Do you remember me, we were only fifteen

And I, I remember the chorus, they were singing it for us You were my September song, tell me where have you gone? Do you remember me, we were only fifteen.

Lately she knew that it was a song by JP Cooper. She wants to claim that song is her new September song themes.

She is learnt something from what just happened. Nothing is impossible if Allah’s will.

“Innama Amruhu Idza Arada Syaian An Yaqula Lahu Kun Fayakun” - (QS 36:82)

“His command is only when He intends a thing that He says to it, "Be," and it is.”

September 1st, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

A Letter to the Future

It’s quarter past eight, another typical of Friday evening, drizzle and traffic everywhere. She is inside Shophaus sipping her hot chocolate while the cursor on her laptop beeping on the last sentences of paragraph two. She’s been writing again, continuously, since August. It’s because of her friend asked her to join this writing challenge called 30 Days Writing Challenge.

Today is the last day of challenge. She is decided to writing here while waiting for someone too. It’s supposed to be last week but she had a schedule that can’t be replaced to another day. Stupidly, she doesn’t have his phone number to reschedule their meeting. So, she takes a chance to come to the same place where they were make a promise to meet again. It’s one in a million possibility that he would come to.

She’s arrived at half past five, ordered a meal at Berrywell. She picked Salmon & Hummus Wrap as a main course, Flourless Choco Cake as a dessert, and Lychee Mango Magic smoothies. She is intentionally come two hours early to finish her writing. People entered the door while she was eating. Every time the door opened, she will look up and hope it was him on the door.

She finished her meal and smoothies, also her writing. She ordered hot chocolate as a company for her dessert. It’s half past eight and still drizzle outside. She is eating the choco cake while reading The Course of Love by Alain de Botton. She can’t concentrate on reading when her mind keep thinking the possibilities of him to come.

A quarter to nine, still no sign of him. Her dessert plate is empty, the book left wide open on the table. She is looking at the window.

“ Why are you keep running down to the earth when most of people don’t like you?”, she talked to the drizzle.

It’s pouring happily right after she asked the question. She is smiling and continue saying,

“Do you want accompany me until this store close? It’s very kind of you and that’s why I like you no matter what.”, she smiled.

“You know what, I’ll make you a promise. I will left behind my past, move on, and say hello to the future, if he come. Deal?”

The drizzle become a heavy rain right now and she takes that as a yes. She is smiling again and sipping her hot chocolate. Forty five minutes left until the place is closed. She is no longer expect he would come. She is still stay there just because of her hot chocolate-which already turn into cold-and the rain to stop. She sips her last chocolate drop and packs her things.

Right after she is about to leave, the door is open. She looks up and smiling. He is standing there, soaking wet because of the rain, and still not sees her, yet. He is swept across the room while trying to get rid of the water from his body and sees her. She is standing in her table looking at him, smiling. Their eyes meet and he comes to her.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”, he said with smile on his face.

“Well, you’re not the only one who’s in shocked here.”, she replied and continue,

“Have a sit. I’ll get you a cup of hot chocolate. Is that okay or do you want anything else?”

“No no just let me ordered by myself.”, he grab her wrist.

“It’s okay. Just tidy yourself up and I’ll get you a drink.”, she is insisted.

“Thanks. Hot chocolate would be nice.”, he answered her with a smile.

“Okay then.”, she went to the cashier and order hot chocolate with pisang goreng.

The night is still long and she is relieved she doesn’t have to be alone tonight.

August 31st, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Pintu Lainnya

Banyak orang berpendapat, manusia hanya bisa berencana tapi Allah lah yang menentukan hasilnya. Sebagian yang merajuk, ya kalau gitu ga perlu bikin rencana bagus-bagus dong kalau nanti yang terjadi jauh dari rencana. Beberapa percaya, rencana adalah sebagian dari usaha, berusaha semaksimal mungkin untuk suatu hal yang diinginkan. Ketika usaha sudah maksimal, sisanya hanya tinggal berdoa dan tawakal, bahwa hasilnya adalah yang terbaik menurut Allah.

Tidak sedikit juga hal yang terjadi di luar rencana, dan banyak yang berputus asa karenanya, atau su’udzon kepada Allah karena tidak memberikan yang sudah direncanakan itu. Dia salah satu dari yang tidak sedikit itu.

Dia memiliki beberapa rencana yang sudah disusun, ada yang disusun sendiri, ada yang bersama dengan seorang lain. Dari beberapa itu, sebagian besar berjalan tidak sesuai dengan rencananya. Pada awalnya, dia patah arang. Seolah semesta berkonspirasi ingin membuatnya menderita. Berlebihan memang, tapi begitulah dia. Kemudian dia teringat akan perkataan seorang temannya.

“Percayalah, ketika satu pintu tertutup untukmu, ada pintu lain yang terbuka untukmu. Kamu hanya perlu melihat dan mencari pintu lain itu. Jangan hanya berdiri di depan pintu yang sudah tertutup untukmu.”

Tak lama setelah pintu satu tertutup untuknya, perlahan satu pintu terbuka untuknya. Pintu yang pernah dia bayangkan akan terbuka beberapa tahun silam, kini terbentang lebar di hadapannya, dan di waktu yang sangat tepat. Selang berapa lama, pintu kedua terbuka. Semua hanya soal waktu.

Terkadang manusia, dia, terlalu sibuk mencari apa yang belum dimiliki, hingga lupa bersyukur atas hal yang sudah dia miliki sekarang. Dia kemudian bergegas ke keran air, mengambil wudhu, dan sholat dua rakaat. Pada sujud di rakaat terakhir, air matanya mengalir. Tak henti-hentinya dia mengucap terima kasih dan syukur atas apa yang sudah Allah berikan padanya.

“Maka nikmat Tuhanmu manakah yang kamu dustakan?” - QS 55:55

30 Agustus 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Sebuah Persimpangan

Sehelai daun gugur, bertemu dengan daun lainnya yang telah gugur lebih dulu. Agustus akan sampai pada penghujung, dan jalan yang sedang dilewatinya masih belum terlihat ujungnya. Dia masih terus berjalan, sambil sesekali menoleh ke belakang. Sekedar melihat sudah sejauh mana langkahnya dari titik awal dia memulai.

Sudah sejauh mana langkah kamu dari titik yang sama dengan dia memulai?

Perjalanannya masih panjang, Terasa sudah melangkah jauh, tapi nyatanya dia masih melihat titik awal dia mulai berjalan. Jalan yang dilaluinya tidak selalu jalan beraspal, terkadang krikil dan batu-batu menyapanya di jalan. Kadang dia disambut oleh hujan, kadang terik matahari. Kalau dia boleh memilih, dia akan memilih antara hujan dan terik matahari. Mendung dengan semilir angin yang meniup penutup kepalanya.

Apa yang kamu temui selama perjalananmu? Dia ingin tahu.

Di sebuah persimpangan, dia bertemu dengan sebuah tempat singgah dan berhenti sejenak. Melemaskan otot kakinya yang mulai terasa kaku. Di pinggir tempat dia duduk, dia melihat amplop berwarna merah tua. Pada awalnya dia ragu apakah perlu membuka atau dibiarkannya saja, hingga dia melihat namanya tertoreh pada permukaan amplop.

-

Untuk Kamu, yang sebentar lagi akan tiba di tempat ini.

Bagaimana aku tahu bahwa kamu akan berhenti disini? Tidak, aku tidak tahu. Aku hanya berharap pada Allah Swt, bahwa dengan kuasa-Nya, Dia menggerakkan hatimu untuk singgah sejenak di tempat ini. Dengan kamu membaca surat ini, artinya harapanku terwujud.

Jangan, aku kamu segera bergegas keluar dari tempat ini begitu menemukan bahwa surat ini dariku. Aku sudah tidak nampak dari tempatmu berada sekarang. Aku sudah berjalan tak lama setelah menulis surat ini dan meninggalkannya di tempat kamu menemukannya.

Sekarang kamu masuk lagi ke dalam, luruskan kembali kakimu.

Aku bingung harus memulai dari mana. Terlalu banyak yang ingin aku sampaikan kepadamu. Terlalu banyak rinduku padamu selama aku di perjalanan ini. Terlalu banyak juga salahku padamu sebelum aku memulai perjalanan ini. Aku tahu kamu amat sangat merindukanku. Kalau aku disebelahmu saat ini, aku yakin kamu akan segera menjambak rambutku. Benar kan?

Surat ini bukan surat yang menyenangkan untuk kamu baca. Terlalu banyak air mata yang tumpah karenanya, baik saat surat ini dibuat atau dibaca, olehku dan olehmu.

Sudah, usap air matamu.

Aku hanya ingin minta maaf padamu, atas semuanya. Semoga hati baikmu memaafkan salahku yang terlalu banyak ini. Semoga hati baikmu akan bertemu dengan seorang yang berhati baik dan akan menjagamu selama sisa perjalanan ini

Apakah kita akan bertemu lagi? Aku tidak tahu, tapi aku mau. Maukah kamu? Tidak perlu dijawab, aku tidak bisa mendengarnya.

Aku tinggalkan juga baju hangat milikku untukmu. Sebagai teman atau penghangatmu ketika hujan mulai turun nanti. Cuaca kesukaanmu.

Dari Aku, yang sudah lebih dulu tiba di tempat ini.

-

Dia menyeka air mata yang membasahi kedua pipinya. Kemudian dilipatnya surat itu dan dimasukkan kembali ke amplop merah tua. Dia menyatukan surat itu dengan baju hangat yang ditinggalkan untuknya dan memasukkannya ke dalam ransel.

Dia melanjutkan perjalanan yang masih belum dia tahu akan seperti apa ujungnya.

29 Agustus, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Origami Hati

“Kata Bapak, percaya itu mahal harganya. Tak sebanding dengan harga rumah, ataupun harga tanah. Banyak yang datang dan pergi di hidup ini, katanya. Tapi tak semuanya akan tinggal dengan ekspektasi.

Bapak bilang, mereka yang tetap ada, adalah mereka yang telah mempercayai kita. Mungkin itu sebabnya percaya itu mahal harganya. Sebab percaya butuh dirawat untuk tidak sirna sepenuhnya.” - Menjadi Manusia.

Dia membaca kalimat itu di sosial media beberapa hari lalu. Kemudian semua hal tentang Bapak muncul ke permukaan.

-

Bapak adalah laki-laki pertama yang menyayanginya. Laki-laki yang memberikan yang terbaik untuknya dari dia kecil hingga sekarang saat usianya sudah lebih dari seperempat abad. Kata ibunya, Bapak menginginkan anak pertamanya adalah anak perempuan, dan keinginannya terwujud.

Bapak memang bukan bapak pada umumnya. Bapak tidak memperlihatkan kasih dan sayangnya kepada dia, tapi kasih dan sayangnya berwujud, Salah satunya membelikan dia beberapa kaset yang dia nanti-nantikan, tanpa diminta. Membelikan koleksi DVD lengkap salah satu anime kesukaannya sewaktu usianya 6 atau 7 tahun.

Bapak selalu memberikan yang terbaik dari yang dia punya. Apapun akan dilakukan untuknya. Dia ingat sewaktu dia sudah di penghujung Sekolah Dasar, dia berkesempatan untuk masuk ke Sekolah Menengah Pertama Negeri terbaik di kotanya, tapi dia khawatir akan biaya. Bapak kemudian mengajaknya makan Sop Sapi kesukaannya sambil kemudian berkata,

“Kalau dapet di sekolah itu, diambil aja ya. Jangan pikirin biayanya, Insya Allah Bapak cari nanti.”

Dia berusaha menahan air matanya agar tidak mengalir saat itu. Bapak memang bukan bapak terbaik di dunia, tapi dia Bapak terbaik menurutnya.

Bapak bukan orang yang banyak bicara. Bapak lebih banyak diam, berbanding terbalik dengan Ibu. Mungkin itu salah satu sebabnya mereka berjodoh, saling melengkapi.

Dibalik diamnya itu, Bapak orang yang sangat peka, terutama jika menyangkut dia. Ketika dia di usia Sekolah Menengah Atas, Bapak curiga atas satu hal, tetapi tidak disampaikan ke dia melainkan ke Ibu. Ketika mendengar apa yang disampaikan Ibu, dia menganggap hal itu adalah hal konyol. Hal yang dianggap konyol olehnya, terungkap kebenarannya enam tahun kemudian. Sedasyat itu kepekaan Bapak.

Menginjak usia dua puluhan, Bapak semakin protektif ke dia.

“Wajar, namanya juga Bapak ke anak perempuannya.”, kebanyakan temannya akan mengatakan demikian.

Hingga tiba satu waktu dimana seorang laki-laki baik yang datang meminta dia kepada Bapak. Bapak tidak menolak tapi tidak juga menerima laki-laki itu. Bapak hanya mau melihat lagi kesungguhan laki-laki itu terhadap dia. Tetapi kemudian laki-laki itu pergi. Laki-laki itu menganggap Bapak tidak mau dia untuk bersamanya.

Dia marah ke Bapak atas apa yang Bapak lakukan. Membuatnya merasakan sakit yang teramat sangat. Rasa sakit yang belum pernah dia rasakan sebelumnya. Rasa sakit yang membuatnya menangis dihampir setiap waktu, sampai saat ini terkadang. Dia tidak melihat apa yang telah dilihat Bapak lebih dulu. Dia terlalu buta untuk dapat memahaminya.

Waktu terus berjalan, kemarahannya ke Bapak memudar dan menghilang berganti dengan sesal. Bapak masih sehat sampai saat ini, dia hanya menyesalkan perbuatannya. Bapak yang sangat mengasihinya malah mendapat perlakuan yang tidak seharusnya didapatkan hanya karena seorang laki-laki. Padahal Bapak adalah laki-laki pertama yang menyayanginya, jauh sebelum laki-laki itu datang dan siap memetik apa yang sudah Bapak rawat, jaga, dan besarkan.

Dia kemudian menulis di secarik kertas. Surat cinta untuk Bapak, permintaan maaf, ucapan terima kasih. Setelah selesai, kertas itu kemudian dibentuk menjadi origami berbentuk hati dan diselipkannya di dompet Bapak. Masih ada foto dia sewaktu umur 1 tahun di dompet Bapak.

28 Agustus, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Shelter

She didn’t know if what she did was right. She ditched her surrounding and all of people that matter, people who care about her. It was her lowest point of life if she might say so. Maybe she was just exaggerating by saying all those things. That was also the first time she felt her heart was broken by a man.

It was bright sunny Sunday. She picked him up at the usual place. She was smiling when looked at him but he didn’t seem happy as she was.

“Something’s wrong with him”, she said to herself suspiciously. He couldn’t hide his worries face. She ignored for a while and just cheered him up.

They went for a breakfast and decided to have a porridge. He dropped the thing that bothered him since yesterday. He wanted to break up with her. She started crying the moment he told her. Her world was collapsed, no words came out from her mouth.He told her the reason and why he had to do it. She didn’t want to do what he asked but she didn’t has any choice either.

They spent their time together for the last time. Pretend that nothing would happen at the end of the day. She couldn’t smile, her chest felt tight. Although he was broken as she did but he was trying so hard to make her feel better. The clock showed quarter past four and they were already at the place where she picked him up in the morning.

“It’s almost time”, she hold her tears.

He was hold her hands for the last time, tightly. She did the same way as he did. People who was passing by looking at them but they couldn’t care less.

“The bus to The Cold City will be departed soon. All of the passengers kindly get on”, the officer announced.

They looked at each other and he hugged her for the last time, tightly. She could feel he didn’t want to let her go but he had to.

“Shelter” by Birdy kept playing on her phone. She was on the way to find a shelter. Rest for a while from thing that just happened. She hoped, this was only a nightmare and she woke up right after this scene.

This was not a dream. She was too naive to think that way. She was too naive to think that they would be together forever. For the first time in her life, she loves someone dearly. Love follows by expectation and some expectation will lead into disappointment.

She closed her eyes as she listened to Birdy’s voice. Tearing up everything.

I find shelter in this way Under cover, hide away Can you hear when I say I have never felt this way

August 27th, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

A Brief Pause

It’s a long windy road.

She’s in the middle of nowhere. It almost dawn. She’s awake after slept for three hours and eight hours distance from previous city. She feels cold, she looks at he phone and the temperature said it’s 9 degrees. it supposed to be warm inside the bus, but not this time.

She looks outside the window. She’s out of words but a second later wisher,

“Masya Allah”.

The sky started to change, from dark blue full of stars becoming dark orange with the stars still there.

She took a brief pause.

She’s amazed by the view.

August 26th, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

A Story of A Woman

This is the story about a woman who likes to write. She is writing everywhere, sometimes on her notebook, application on her phone, or on her laptop. She is writing about everything, mostly that bother her thoughts. Her thought is full of strings, some is her interest, the rest is her worries.

She has a lot of dreams, and one of them is publish her own book. The books she dreamed is not the one like an usual book in the bookstore, but the one that will inspire the reader, like an anthology book. The story about women that will inspire other women. She also want to publish the books with her own self publishing company that can empower people, can be useful for others.

August 25th, 2019 @septiaherdiani

[septiaherdiani]

Floating in a Corner

The moment when she put her earphone on and listen to her favorite song, she feels like her sanity’s back. All those melody playing inside her head, create their own little party while she’s enjoying herself alone in the corner. Sometimes she feels lonely, but some other time she’s fine with herself.

She still in the corner, put herself in a distance from the crowd, replaying. About everything that happened; the good and bad things, the happy and sad faces, laughter and tears moments. She vividly remember the moment that almost being her happy moment but turns out to be the most terrible things that ever happened in her life.

Without a warn, this song by James Smith played.

Maybe I can sail and stay afloat Maybe I can dive but I won't, Cause I can't face the tide alone Sitting on the edge of windows Where we used to talk and you'd smoke, But now I'm up here on my own

Boxes full of years in empty rooms The hardest thing is letting go of you So you can, Keep my t-shirts For what it's worth They look better on you anyway These old photos I'll keep them close In case you wanna see them again Someday

I know we haven't spoken in weeks It's like we only meet in our sleep, And I can't wait to close my eyes I found the missing earring you wore The night you threw me out and slammed the door, But you won't let me back this time

And now it haunts me in these empty rooms The hardest thing is letting go of you So you can, Keep my t-shirts For what it's worth They look better on you anyway These old photos I'll keep them close In case you wanna see them again Someday

Keep my t-shirts For what it's worth They look better on you anyway These old photos I'll keep them close In case you wanna see them again Someday

She likes the scent of him. He never wear perfume or cologne or any kind of them. He only wear deodorant but he never had bad smell. She used to borrow his jacket or sweater only to wear them in the night to accompany her to sleep. She loves to smelling the scent of him that left behind on his sweater or jacket.

She missed him, and his scent. She is now floating in a corner trying to remember the smell of him and his existence that no longer being her.

August 24th, 2019 @septiaherdiani