Laetitia Pujol, Etoile, Paris Opera Ballet

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noise dept.

if i look back, i am lost
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
trying on a metaphor
Noah Kahan
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle

Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Mike Driver

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d e v o n
KIROKAZE
🪼
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

pixel skylines
RMH

#extradirty
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@seraphinadreams
Laetitia Pujol, Etoile, Paris Opera Ballet
help
We've all been there, Charlie Day 4: Drinking/Bonding
I came to life .....
dance dance ✨ also a bonus: he's sleeping don't disturb them
Alastor is a problem solver.
Beach date!! ⛱️☀️
Long time no see, just gonna drop this here
Yes The gaang in Six!!! As it should. ♥️
just a comparison between Suigimori’s official character art from Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire to the originals. The redesigns are pretty great in my opinion
This could sincerely be used in a cartooning class with the intent of teaching the importance of action lines and expressive characters.
if you tell me that even professional artists can’t improve and still want to improve and work their hardest to improve then i’m calling bs
Ganon / Link Kinda feel like I need to redo Ganon now. Buy me Ko-Fi!
Ganon / Link So, want a headcanon where all of your AUs are valid? Want Ganon to be a heartless dickwad? Want Ganon to be a big soft cinnamon roll? You can have it all, if you just subscribe. Or like, Buy me A Ko-Fi. (Yes, I will continue with AngstSidLink comics) (Yes, I also have accompanying Link and Zelda Comics for this)
“beauty and the beast” where beauty’s dad comes home with the rose and is like oh shit oh shit this terrible monster says i have to come live with him forever because i picked his favorite flower and beauty just goes fuck that and puts on her pants and marches down to the beast’s castle herself
and she’s expecting this horrifying dark fortress but it’s actually sort of just a normal castle with big rose bushes and furniture that’s sometimes alive
and she thinks, i can work with this
and the beast comes out and he’s like don’t look at me i am a hideous monster and beauty’s like dude you’re like a talking tiger in a cape are you kidding you’re AWESOME can i pet you can i stroke your paws can you give me a ride
and he’s like what and she goes around the castle like okay we’ll put curtains here and expand the kitchen and this could be a really cute breakfast nook
and the beast is confused because isn’t she supposed to be terrified and hate him and he had all these intimidating speeches planned and he’s like uh aren’t you going to try to run away
and beauty’s all are you kidding this is a magic castle i’m going to live here forever
so they just sort of settle in together and one day beauty goes home for the weekend to visit her family and they’re all amazed that she’s alive and her sisters go WHY DIDN’T THE HUGE MONSTER EAT YOU TO DEATH and she’s like nahhh he’s basically just a big cat he’s kind of cute actually sometimes he plays with yarn when he thinks i’m not looking
and she explains how it’s really not that bad, all the dishes wash themselves and i get all these gorgeous dresses for free because the castle doesn’t know what else to do with them and yeah there are flowers everywhere but hey that’s his hobby y’know i’m not gonna discourage that man
and then one day while beauty’s re-alphabetizing her magic library and trying to decide where to put that enchanted mirror the beast comes up and he’s like hey so this is awkward but are you like………………………………..in love with me……?????????
and beauty’s like oh uh wow haha um sorry no you’re…sort of a tiger
and the beast is like thank goodness because if you were i’d have to turn back into a human and i’ve kind of gotten used to being a big lion thing with horns and the ability to speak english for some reason like why would i want to go back to being a spindly little man and then beauty laughs and she’s like okay well can you go catch us a wild boar for dinner, dear
and they end up getting married in the end just because it’s easier to explain that way, you know, a single lady ~~living alone with a man~~ even if he’s not actually a man, and that’s fine with them because beauty was never really into the whole boys and sex thing and the beast (whose name is jeff) is honestly more interested in his flowers
and whenever any of the other ladies in the village give her any shit beauty is just like, oh, you don’t like my crepes? well you know my husband, who is literally a tiger, loves them and then everyone leaves her alone, which is really all she ever wanted
and she goes back to her magic castle and sits down with a book in front of the fire and rests her feet on her cat husband and nobody bothers her ever again
can that happen
Can we have a whole book of aromantic fairy tales?
I needed this so much.
Eepy! (Yes, he's using Luci's head as a table)
Hurt!Lucifer is always making me feel complicated things - seeing a powerful being injured… kinda like it tbh 🙈
Alastor catching Lucifer, supporting and embracing him, holding his hand 😍 - Lucifer, holding onto him with his tail 😭 - it’s perfect 🥰
You see, I now realize that I never asked if there’s a headcanon for that piece - if she imagined a certain scene behind it 🤔
That gash is pretty deep… and wide… maybe from a certain… guitar-weapon? Maybe gained by protecting a certain someone? 🤭
Okay, please ignore me, this is just me theorizing about it - maybe I’ll write a FF for it someday 😊
Major Discovery: BotW’s Adventure Log = Link’s Diary?!
SERIOUSLY.
(Spoiler Alert)
At this point, our beloved game Breath of the Wild has been out for around half a year already. If you have played the game, you are probably very familiar with the Adventure Log feature in BotW that helps you keep track of all your missions and side quests. Or else its pretty much impossible to remember if you were catching chickens for this guy or collecting weapons to show that kid who’s boss.
But here’s the thing- Have you ever thought about the Adventure Log’s origin? Who or what is helping Link keep track of his missions?
If your answer is the Sheikah Slate or the “system”, which is what I’ve always thought, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you own an European/American copy of the game. Because apparently, in the Japanese version of the game, there is evidence that shows that LINK is the one who wrote the adventure log to keep track of his own journey.
“Ok… So what?”
So Link wrote the Adventure Log. Big deal. It’s not like this is gonna change the gameplay in any way.
…True. However, Link didn’t JUST record his missions in the Adventure Log. According to the Japnese version, Link would often type up some of his own thoughts and comments on what he was doing aside from his current objectives. This could give us a deeper insight of Link’s character.
Here’s an example:
This is what shows up after you complete The Hero’s Sword quest. The content of the two versions are very similar, but notice the use of “自分” (myself) in pic 1. This is evidence that the adventure log is written by Link, who’s talking about himself in first person narrative, instead of “the system”. With that in mind, the Japanese version can be translated to:
(I) Finally retrieved the legendary Master Sword. (I) Don’t know if it’s just an illusion, but the sword itself seems to be delighted about this.
To this moment, Princess Zelda is still inside Hyrule Castle, fighting to suppress the Calamity.
She is still holding on to the faith in me, believing that I will definitely come for her…!
But with the power (that I have) now, can she really be saved (by myself)…?
You see what they did there?
The English version replaced every first person pronoun Link has used with “you”!
As someone who owns an American copy, and has never set the system language to Japanese, I was absolutely SHOCKED when I was told about this (credits at the end).
Remember how we could find diaries of NPCs all across Hyrule? Link’s was right under our noses this whole time!
Now that you know about this, does your adventure log seem a bit different from before?
(I) finished visiting all 13 of the locations in the old pictures. I remembered everything I’ve been through together with Princess Zelda.
In those memories (of mine), Princess Zelda always strived to complete the task burdened onto her…
Even if it’s just a moment sooner, (I) want to save her as quickly as possible
(I) want to see her smile again, with these eyes (of my own).
The translation on this one is just OFF. I can’t believe the English version completely omitted the last part, and replaced it with some kind of mission instruction.
Link has been fighting all this time to see Princess Zelda’s smile again with his own eyes.
…*sniff*
Not to mention those side quest logs. Once you realize that all of the entries were written by Link himself, the seemingly trivial information recorded in those suddenly opens up so many more hidden sides of Link. It basically re-introduced Link as someone with normal human emotions instead of the silent hero depicted throughout the game.
The caring Link, who was worried about a girl he only met twice for putting herself in danger:
…(I) ventured inside and found part of the Royal Guard’s Series, famous among equipment collectors.
When those were shown to Parcy, the traveler at the stable, her curiosity about it seem to be provoked more than ever (by me). (I) Hope she won’t do anything reckless…
The compassionate Link, who felt glad for other peoples’ happiness:
…
As a sign of appreciation for bringing the town together and as compensation for the work done (by me), a hefty amount of gems that were unearthed during the town’s construction were given by Hudson (to me).
(I) wish the couple could live happily ever after.
The reckless Link, who apparently felt thrilled when he managed to knock out some monsters with his new companion:
(I) captured the giant horse in Taobab Grasslands
So that’s why. It’s indeed a really big horse. It trampled whatever kind of monster in its way with ease when it galloped. That was really cool.
When it was brought back to Straia (by me), he was very surprised.
Link the foodie, who carefully noted down new recipes he learned along the way for future use:
(I) brought Kiana the goat butter and hearty blueshell snail required for cooking seafood paella. She shared some of the dish (with me) as thanks!
/////Recipe/////
The playful Link, who tried to mimic the way Gorons speak- by adding “goron” at the end of every sentence- after he passed the Test of Will and became one of the bros:
……
Ah… (I) kinda want to write down Kabetta’s Bro Motto, but there’s not enough space goron?
That’s too bad goron…
The empathetic Link, who felt nervous for the guy in this side quest, then relieved when the couple finally got together:
…and… THIS:
The last line on the left is the Japanese equivalent of What the heck…
I guess the statue is a bit too weird even for our great adventurer.
Finally, we have the entry that shows up after you complete the DLC trial:
(I) finally conquered the merciless Trial of the Sword.
……
(I believe that) Princess Zelda would be quite happy about how much I’ve improved
As we all know, Breath of the Wild is a game that focuses a lot on the freedom given to the players. Even the main story line is broken down into the form of memories, waiting for the players to find. As the players venture on into the wild, they would eventually find the information they need to learn about this world. The amazing amount of details you can find about Hyrule and its people is an important reason why BotW is so attractive.
On the contrary, the info available about our protagonist is very limited. The only piece of description that directly describes Link is in Zelda’s diary, where she points out that he is a very quiet person, and that’s it for our hero.
…NOT!!
Link had always had the most extensive character description. Right under our noses.
Nintendo got us. They got us GOOD.
But now we know.
SIX months after the game’s launch.
…Better late than never.
End.
P.S.: Fun fact about BotW Link- he seems to like the sand seal game a lot. Of all the entires about racing minigames, the sand seal game is the only one where Link wrote “(I’ll) try to get a better score next time!”
He’s so adorable I can’t //////
CREDITS
Disclaimer: I did not discover this.
This discovery was made by a Chinese gamer @atomaruU about a week ago. To make sure that her theory is correct, she cross referenced the English version of the game, only to discover that the language is completely emotionless and robotic. Therefore, to allow more people to see who Link REALLY is, I was asked to write this post based on the Chinese article she published.
Her Twitter: https://twitter.com/atomaruU
Tweet Link: https://twitter.com/atomaruU/status/902172455661211649
Chinese article Link: http://weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404145837893616605
Pic credits: @lulubuu0609 (She’s an amazing artist btw check out her blog)
Hope you enjoyed this :3
WTF NoA?! Why’d they have to screw up the translation like that? I’ll have to try and paraphrase these into Link’s own words as best I can from now on. And someday hopefully I’ll be able to play it in Japanese… But I’m really slow at learning it…
God okay so I’m going to say this now; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not risk your health or anyone’s in the form of getting a “cheap” binder of ebay or where ever. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save your $4-$10 dollars for those cheap ebay ones and put it towards a gc2b binder. Or if you want an Underworks go for that but I highly suggest gc2b. They’re about $40 (with shipping) and will last you WAY longer than any cheap ebay one. They are MEANT for lasting you. I wash mine many times week, wear it daily, Wear them daily. I have two. Had them for almost a year now. But I cannot urge you enough to PLEASE save up your pennies for a PROPER SAFE binder. Binders you can breathe in, binders you can move in, binders that don’t crush your ribs, binders that are comfortable, binders that are safe.
This isn’t a safe binder:
It uses clasps and not compression.
This is a gc2b binder; made by trans people for trans people:
These binders have no clasps but uses spandex to compress you safety.
Measure your chest before ordering to make sure you don’t get one too small or too large.
Add-on (07/16): YOU CAN BIND NO MATTER WHAT YOUR GENDER ID IS. IF YOU GOT TITTIES, AND WANT TO FLATTEN THEM??? Bind! With proper binders. Below is a copy and paste from a FTM website so that’s why it’s heavy on the transgender and FTM phrases. But you can be a cis-women, agender, non-binary, transgender! This is literally for everyone who wants to bind!
UPDATE (07/12)
I wanted to add more information on where you can buy binders and info in general about binders
You can buy binders from these sites
@gc2b-apparel (OPs #1 Recommendation)
@shapeshiftersinc
http://www.f2mbinders.com/ (AKA underworks)
http://www.t-kingdom.com/
http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en
http://www.danae.info/en/?___from_store=nl
http://showcase.designveronique.com/designveronique/shop/postsurgical/men-1.html
http://en.nabeshirt.com/shop/
Used Binders
If you can’t afford a binder, don’t despair! Used binders are often passed on by post-op trans men or those whose binders may no longer fit. There are a few programs available that help distribute donated second-hand binders:
In A Bind – Started in 2012, to date In a Bind has provided safe compression garments to over 1500 youth in need. Trans* masculine and genderqueer youth living anywhere in the USA can apply to receive a free binder. In a Bind depends on donations. Recently had top surgery? Go up or down a size? Find a style that works better for you? Donate those binders you’re no longer using!
Black Trans Advocacy FTM Binder Grant
MORF Binder Exchange – Since February 2011, MORF has been providing free binders to trans* masculine people in the UK and around the world. The free scheme (all you pay is the postage) has so far redistributed hundreds of binders. In 2014 alone, over 280 binders were sent out.
FTME Free Youth Binder Program – Age 24 and under only; USA only.
Replace the Ace – USA only
Big Brothers Used Binder Program – Donation required
Mazzoni Center’s Binder Recycling Program – Only for youth enrolled in P.A.C.T.S., Philadelphia.
Point 5cc Tshirt Company – Free binder with purchase of t-shirt
Come As You Are’s Binder Bucks Recycling Program – Canada only
Qmunity Binder Exchange – BC, Canada only.
Trans Fellas
Northern Ireland Binder Scheme – Age 25 and under, N. Ireland only.
You can also try asking around for an inexpensive hand-me-down binder on one of themailing lists for trans guys or check out LiveJournal’s FTM Garage Sale and the FtM Sales, Swap, and Support group on Facebook.
How to Choose a Chest Binder
If you still remember your old bra size, you can find out your binder size by using theBra to Chest Size Converter Tool. If you don’t know your old bra size, you can measure yourself the old-fashioned way:
Take a snug measurement of the fullest part of your chest using a tape measure (best if measured while clothed) and write that number down onto a sheet of paper.
Measure underneath your chest where the crease is and write that number down as well.
Add those numbers together and divide the sum by 2. This number will differentiate your size not only from brand to brand but from binder to binder as well.
Selecting a binder brand and style can be difficult: there are so many options that it can be overwhelming! Plus, there aren’t very many reviews of binders other than those about Underworks’ and T-Kingdom’s more popular models. After buying your binder, help make the experience easier for guys in the future by contributing your review to one of the review sites listed below.
Essentially, there are two types of binders: short ones and long ones. The short ones end right at your waist. The down side of these is that if you carry some extra weight, short binders tend to roll up and act more like a bra. The long ones can be pulled down past your waist by several inches, however it’s inevitable that it will still roll up. To reduce the chances of this, wear a belt. Choosing between a short and long binder has more to do with your body type, specifically your abdomen, and not your chest size.
Lastly, consider the location of the company you’re buying from. Buying from a company that’s closer to you can save you a significant amount of money on shipping costs.
How to Put On a Chest Binder
It might seem silly, but you’re probably going to need some help figuring out how to put on your new binder, particularly if you purchased one of the longer styles.
Put your binder inside out and upside down.
Step into your binder and pull the bottom of it up, ideally to your belt line. The binder should still be inside out and upside down.
Use the sleeves as handles to pull the top of the binder (the end closer to your feet) up to your shoulders.
Put your arms through the sleeve holes and adjust your chest to your needs. You may need to pull the bottom of the binder out from underneath itself if you don’t want it folded under. For others, leaving it folded under may help stop the binder from rolling up.
Don’t be disappointed if you look in the mirror and it looks like you have one big boob in the middle of your chest. You just need to adjust your chest. Reach in from the neck hole and push your chesticles down and out. You’re basically pushing your nipple toward your armpit to achieve the flattest looking chest possible.
FTM Chest Binding Tips
Very important: When binding, you should not by any means feel as though you can’t breathe or like you’re going to pass out from a lack of oxygen.
Binders aren’t the most comfortable things in the world. To make binding more comfortable, and to reduce the possibility of the binder moving around a bit, some guys wear a light shirt underneath.
Depending on the size of your chest, you may need to layer clothing on top of the binder to get optimal chest flattening. You’ll find that some of the shirts in your closet require you to layer more than shirts in your wardrobe.
You can swim in your binder. Just wear a sleeveless or sleeved T-shirt over it. Don’t worry if your binder seems less effective after a swim, this isn’t permanent. Simply wash it and it will go back to normal.
Your chest will look bigger than it really is when you look down at it. Check in the mirror for a more accurate side view.
Not all binders breathe well, and the reality is that you’re probably going to get hot. If you’ve already started testosterone, you’re definitely going to sweat. The build up of sweat can irritate your skin causing rashes and sores. Wearing a thin cotton shirt that breathes well underneath your binder may help prevent this. If you find this uncomfortable, try applying corn starch to your body before putting on your binder to help keep it from holding in moisture. If you’ve already experienced skin irritation of some sort, take care of it the same way you would an open wound. Washing the irritated area with anti-bacterial soap will keep it clean and help it heal faster.
Conclusion
Chest binding, as cumbersome as it may seem, can be very freeing for transgender men. There’s a plethora of quality FTM chest binding products available for body types of all shapes and sizes. Regardless of what you use for binding, please remember to put your health first. Now that you’re armed with all the information you need to find the right binder for you, go forth and feel more comfortable in your skin!
FTM Chest Binder Reviews
Chest Binder Reviews Site: Written reviews of various chest binding products. Binders are rated for effectiveness, comfort, and discreetness.
Binder Reviews’ YouTube Collab Channel: This is a collab channel dedicated to providing reviews of a wide variety of chest binders on different sizes and shapes of people.
(Note: These sites are no longer updated.)
More FTM Chest Binding Resources
Binding Safely for Your Body: Tips for All Body Types and Sizes
The 6 Best Tips for Binding in the Summer
Hudson’s Guide to FTM Binding: Includes a complete list of other products you can use for chest binding, such as compression garments and sports bras.
FYI Binding Tips: The Butchelor has some useful tips on how to put on a binder, how to keep it from rolling up, and how to wash a binder.
Do you have any tips about binding? Want to share your experience with a particular binder brand or model? Do you know of other binder manufacturers, particularly those outside of Asia and the US? Please leave your comments below.
Last updated: 05/20/16 (x)
Both my binders are from Tkingdom and the first one I ever got in high school (many years ago) only started to wear out year ago. Tkingdom is very good for very small trans men like me (5ft, A cup).
if someone does the “fine, you’re right, i’m clearly a terrible person, i’m satan, i’m the worst person alive, i should just die” thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate ppl and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim
stop tolerating this in 2k17 tbh. like really and truly, if you or your friend thinks this is okay pls call the hotline on the bottom of the screen and learn how to take responsibility for your bad behavior
The bad thing is I do this on a regular basis. Not because I want to manipulate people, but because that’s actually how I feel. I’m bad at receiving concrit. I can’t say that everyone who reacts this way feels the same as I do, but…not every case is like that.
have you considered that, regardless of your intentions, reacting in such an exaggerated way would make it very difficult for anyone to criticize you or tell you that you’re harming people with your behavior? i’m not interested in searching out people’s motives, i don’t really care why someone does or says manipulative things. being unable or unwilling to simply apologize and not make it about themselves is a solid indicator that a person is not interested in being held accountable for their bad behavior, and people, especially the injured parties in question, shouldn’t have to tolerate it.
take responsibility for your bad behavior 2k17 tbh
Okay, life lesson time.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, “Oh, I’m a bad person” any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement.
Like, “Please don’t leave my X on the floor” would get, “Oh, I’m a horrible person!”
HERE’S WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think I”m calling you out and you think you’re about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.
What is important is what happened after. My boyfriend might say, “Oh, I’m just an awful boyfriend” and instead of him acknowledging the BEHAVIOR and working on fixing it, he’d get me trying to buck him up for the next half hour, telling him he was a good person. The behavior that started it all would not change.
Well, things led to things and I went back home to live for a while, and found that the same exact thing was happening… with my mother.
And then I learned about pattern arguments. Pattern arguments are the ones where you keep having the same nonproductive argument over and over again. They don’t all follow this pattern, but this is a really common one.
The trick?
BREAK THE PATTERN
First you have to know what the pattern is. In this case: 1. Grievance 2. Self deprecation 3. Ego stroking So, with my mother, we started in on one of these, and she said, “I guess I’m just a terrible mother.” And instead of reassuring her, instead of derailing the issue and letting it go… I said, “When you say that, it makes me wonder how terrible a daughter I could be that you would think you were a bad mother. We have this conversation this way over and over, and the problem that I have always gets pushed aside in favor of trying to make you feel better. When you’re willing to have a real conversation about this, I’m happy to talk to you, but I’m bored with this argument, so I’ll see you later if you want to really talk.” And I left the room. Now, my mom is a reasonably self-aware person, and does a lot of hard emotional work, and so she got it, very quickly. 10 minutes later she came out and found me, and we had a real conversation about whatever the hell the issue really was, and we have literally NEVER had that particular pattern argument again in 23 years. Boyfriend came to visit. I was upset about something, he started in on the “I’m just a shitty boyfriend” thing… and my response? “Yep. You are.” His jaw dropped. He blinked. And I said, “Look, that’s what you do. You say shit like that and it means you don’t have to change your behavior, and I’m tired of the pattern we have where I tell you something isn’t working for me, you tell me you’re terrible, and I spend half an hour making you feel better. I’m tired of it and I”m not doing it anymore. If you’re willing to have an actual conversation about this, and not just the same old argument, I’m game. But this thing we do where you talk yourself down and I butter you up? Is boring. And I’m over it.” We also did not have that argument again. (The relationship finally ended for real a while after, but it ended in a grown-up way, and not with a ridiculous meaningless fight.) When you knock yourself down, the gut instinct for the people around you is to pick you up. But that means you’re not pulling your weight in the relationship. You’re making them do the work and you’re not actually hearing them. So that brings us to another point:
How to deal with criticism
Okay, so if you’re not going to knock yourself down when someone says something negative about you, what DO you do? We don’t actually train people to take criticism well. But it is an art and a skill and NECESSARY to finding emotional stability in the face of a critical world.
I see it as a flow chart, but since the flow chart I made for it ended up in a book that I don’t own the copyright to (not a big deal) I’ll write out the decision tree here instead: 1. Someone offers criticism (constructive or not!)
2. Listen and think about it without immediately trying to defend yourself. You can say, “Okay, I need a moment to take that in and think about it because I want to understand it.” Or something else appropriate to the situation. It is okay to ask for time to think in most circumstances. Most people will appreciate that you are thinking about their words instead of immediately getting defensive or counterattacking. Think about whether what they are saying is valid, might be valid or is not valid.
3A. If it is valid, then you have a choice. You can try to fix the behavior or you can acknowledge that it is a valid criticism but decide you aren’t likely to fix it. Start by acknowledging the validity of the criticism, and then say what you’re going to do to fix it, or say that it’s valid but it isn’t something you’re willing (or possibly able) to change, or say that it’s a valid criticism and you’ll need to think about possible solutions. They may have a suggestion. Taking it or not is also a choice.
3B. If you’re not sure it’s valid, but it might be, tell them, “I really need to give this some more thought.” or “Can you tell me more about this? I’m not sure I understand the issue well.” Or “If you can point me at some reading material or search terms, I’d like to study this before I decide what I’m going to do.”
3C. If you know it is not a valid criticism, STOP a moment, and look at WHY they are making it. This is where Active Listening can be very helpful. “I hear you saying that X is a problem. I don’t see it that way right now but I’d like to understand better why you do.” Or if you think they don’t have enough information, “I hear you saying X, but my understanding of the issue is Y. Here’s what I know about it if you’re ready to listen.” If they’re just looking for a fight, tell them you’re not interested in fighting, and disentangle yourself.
4. If the criticism is something you are going to listen to and take action on, tell them what kind of action you’re going to take. If it’s something you’re hearing and thinking about, tell them that. If it’s not something you’re going to do anything about or it’s just wrong, thank them for their input and move on.
Literally never is it going to be helpful to say, “Oh, I’m just a terrible person.” That’s very much like a nonapology-apology in terms of how unhelpful it is to any conversation. It’s kind of worse because it actually expects emotional labor from someone who is already having to bring up something unpleasant with you. Think about what they say Decide whether you’re going to do something about it Do the thing, or tell them you’re not going to do the thing. Don’t demand emotional labor from other people when you were the one who messed up.
Apologize if appropriate. This is all predicated on the notion that you’re talking to someone who actually wants to communicate and isn’t just an asshole on the attack. Because seriously, the whole “I’m a terrible person” thing? Boring as fuck. Knock that shit off. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t. But take responsibility and have a little self-respect and don’t make others pick your emotional dirty towels off the metaphorical bathroom floor.