No matter how apprehensive Eric was about starting his life over again, even just hearing Serena’s voice calmed him in a way that he couldn’t even explain. Despite having so many things that he just couldn’t quite tell her, he still trusted her more than any other person. He turned his face to her and let out a small laugh. "I was actually enjoying being away from that for awhile,” he said honestly, but his lips twisted up into a bigger smirk as she just went on anyway.
He didn’t even really get a chance to process what she was saying either, not really before she said that. And it wasn’t so much that she said it really, Eric hardly noticed. It was more the way she gasped and her face just feel that really hurt, stung this place inside of him that made him feel…broken. Like no one would ever be able to have a normal conversation with him again. God, it sucked.
Eric took a breath and smiled again, a little more forced and reached out to grab Serena’s arm gently and give it a comforting squeeze. "It’s fine,“ he said, his voice just slightly on edge. "Really. It’s fine. And it does sound…like that, as if my sister couldn’t claw herself up from anything and be on top regardless the situation,” he finished cheerfully. But there was still that too cheerful edge to Serena’s voice and it made that thing in Eric’s gut clench just a little tighter. "Not really surprised by that,“ he added about their mother having a new boyfriend and gave his sister a wry smile. "I don’t know if I can make it through another wedding though, I need at least a couple years to get over the last one.” Eric felt his smile slid into something a little more genuine and he turned and pulled his sister into his arms and hugged her tightly for a moment. "I missed you too. Don’t worry so much okay? I’m fine. I’m pretty much fine.“
She didn’t mention her own arrest, or anything else bad about her own life, because she really was trying to change, and Eric didn’t need to know the details of everything she’d been doing wrong on that journey so far. But Nate’s life was free game, and as awful as it was, she was glad to have something else--anything else--to talk to her brother about. “Yeah, I guess that must have been pretty nice, huh?” She said softly, thinking of her own time spent away from the city, without having to think about or worry about what was happening back home. Of course, she’d ended up in worse trouble for it, when everything had changed around her. Eric included.
It felt like she’d swallowed a shard of glass, pain sharp and acute near her heart as she tried to smile back at her brother. It wasn’t okay, not really, and it never would be. She loved Eric more than anything, but that didn’t mean she knew how to talk to him anymore. “It’s not. I should have been here, I should have--I’m sorry.” She said, because what else was there to say? She’d left him all lone to handle everything without her, and she couldn’t say anything that would fix that. Nobody could. “I...Yeah, I guess I have been able to do that before. But I’m not sure I can do that anymore. Everything just keeps breaking, Eric.” And it’s not fair for her to burden him with any of it, to ask him to take some of her pain and add it to the pain he’s already carrying, but she’s felt so goddamn alone these past few months, and he’s always been there for her. “I feel like we’re breaking, Eric.”
It’s almost too honest for a midmorning conversation, and if the situation were different she’d want them to be hidden under a blanket fort in the Waldorf’s living room, protecting each other while their mother was off doing something with someone that didn’t concern them. But she didn’t have that option. “I just want her to pick someone and stick with him, or be content with the fact that she’s going to die alone.” It sounded harsh, harsher than Serena meant it, but she was tired of her mother and the dates and the divorces. She was tired of having the same arguments with her over and over. “I mean--wow, that sounded so mean. You know what I’m trying to say, right?” She was pretty sure he did, because he was Eric, and they’d never had trouble understanding each other before. She hugged him tightly, trying to pour every ounce of how much she’d missed him into the embrace. “It wasn’t the same without you. And we’re never doing that again. I promise I’ll do more than just call every so often if I ever move away again.” She sighed. “Are you pretty much fine, or are you fine? There’s a big difference between the two, Eric.”