I’m leaving the UA
So almost a year ago I️ made a post saying I️ decided to go to the University of Arizona. It’s the end of my first semester and now I’m making a post saying I’m leaving. UA is a great school and people are allowed to love it to their hearts’ content, but it’s just not for me.
Since sophomore year of high school I️ always thought I️ was going to go to a university. I️ knew I️ had to go to college, and I️ thought a prestigious university (possibly an Ivy League) was in my future. My dream school was the University of Chicago. Then senior year I️ slacked on everything, especially my scholarship and college applications. I️ received no outside scholarships and I️ only applied to four schools, and they were all [extreme] safety schools, none of them academically prestigious. I️ didn’t even get into UA’s honors college like I️ was really hoping. I️ doubted myself and let it get the best of me. So I️ decided on the UA and made myself fall in love with it which proved to be a bad decision.
Do not make yourself fall in love with a school. I’m leaving Tucson because I️ did that to myself. I’ve never liked the state of Arizona and I️ know I️ should’ve left to a school out of state when I️ could have, but everything happens for a reason. I️ didn’t prepare myself enough for college before I️ came here, but I️ also don’t think anything could’ve prepared me. You’re thrown into a world you’re unfamiliar with on your own. I️ was lucky enough to have my best friend as my roommate. But even then, if you’re a person who doesn’t enjoy school or finds it tiring, it’s gonna be a struggle. Here (here as in college in general), no one if forcing you to do anything, so it’s VERY easy to fall off the wagon. I️ did that within the first few weeks.
Before school even started, I️ had formal fall sorority recruitment, which I️ had a bad experience with. I️ love my sorority and my sisters, but sorority recruitment, especially at Zona, is something else. That being said, that is my own personal opinion and I️ will not say anything negative about greek life here because that is NOT sisterly and I️ love them all with Panhel Love. After recruitment, school started and I️ was immediately overwhelmed with my 6 classes and all the work teachers were already assigning. I’m the kind of person that shuts down when they get stressed and that’s a really bad trait to have. I️ got stressed, anxious, paranoid, and depressed. On top of that, I️ only have two close friends, one of which doesn’t live in Tucson. Not only that, I️ started having really bad thoughts that I️ won’t specify so I️ won’t possibly trigger anyone. I️ skipped class all the time and all together stopped going when October started. I️ started going to campus counseling and they advised me to get a medical withdrawal for this semester because I️ got so depressed, so that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I️ know I’m taking the easy way out but it’s just something I️ have to do. I️ screwed up because of my mental health and I️ have to let myself get back on track. With my withdrawal, I️’m not getting any credits so I️ can start over, and I’ve decided not to return to the school because I️ don’t enjoy the environment and I️ don’t think university life is for me. It’s overwhelming and I’ve never been a person that totally enjoyed school, so I️ don’t think I️ need to go to a university that has a lot of distractions. Also, an important society I️’m a part of is being suspended from campus for a minimum of 4 years (NOT for a bad reason!!!!!!!!), so I️ don’t feel there is anything connecting me to this school. I️ feel free to leave as I️ choose.
I’ve decided I’m most likely going to go to a community college and I️ am not ashamed of that anymore. I️ used to think that was the easy way out and no one respectable did that, but that is NOT true!! I️ want to be able to be in a smaller environment where I️ feel I️ can more easily focus on getting my degree and starting my career. The place I’m looking into has a nice program I️ feel will be good for me. It took me a while to accept I want to go to a CC because I’ve been surrounded by people who talk down on that culture, even my mother who went to a CC then transferred to a university; it took her 11 years to get her degree because she had a husband and two kids. She didn’t want me going to a CC because she thought I was “better than that,” but she’s okay with it now and so am I.
For anyone reading this, NEVER doubt yourself, apply for as many scholarships as you can, DONT slack senior year, prepare AS MUCH AS YOU CAN for college before you go, even if you think you’ve already prepared enough, and understand that university life is NOT for everyone and it’s NOT bad if it’s not for you. Everyone is different!
