Yes, i Am Not A Bot

[ratcarney]

TUMBLR 101: a helpful guide for tiktok refugees

are YOU a former tiktok user trying to learn how to use tumblr to fill the void the american tiktok ban is leaving in your soul? here are some things you should know, from someone who’s going on their eighth year on this hellsite:

1. you can say anything on here. gone are the days of having to use words like “unalive” and “seggs.” murder! kill! sex! fuck! speak your mind!

2. there is a community for you on here. regardless of what you’re into or however small the fandom is, you have a place here. at least one other person will have heard of your weird obscure interest. strike up a conversation!

3. followers don’t matter. tumblr is one of the last remaining social media sites in which your number of followers means absolute jack shit. this can be disorienting at first, but once you lean into the fact that everyone on this website is equal, it’s very freeing. clout means nothing here.

4. similarly, you can post at any time. while tiktok has an algorithm that favors certain times, tumblr has no such algorithm. post whatever you want, whenever you want. every post has virtually the same chance at getting notes, regardless of when it is posted.

5. tags can have spaces between the words! this one is very exciting. tags can be a whole sentence. you can also use the tags to comment on someone’s post without actually adding onto the physical post itself (which is sometimes frowned upon and called “derailing” if you use this feature to bring up a completely different point other than the one that’s being made on the original post).

TL;DR: speak your mind, find your place, followers don’t matter, post anytime, have fun with tags!! tumblr is a wonderful site used to share things you’re excited about. be patient with yourself as you’re learning and have fun!

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Okay, so there's a scene in Project Hail Mary (book) not long after Grace and Rocky meet when Grace leaves to sleep while Rocky is absent from their tunnel and leaves the amount of time he'll be gone taped to the wall between them in popsicle sticks. Grace then oversleeps and is gone more than two hours longer than he said he would be. He wakes up and Rocky is tapping on their divider wall loud enough to be heard in the crew quarters and he's very upset when Grace reappears, hitting the wall and the numbers and pointing to his clock and shaking his fist. And the first time I heard that I went "lil guy why are you so impatient" but after hearing the rest of his story it hit me:

Rocky lost his entire crew to an unknown illness and has been alone in space for forty six years. Lil guy wasn't impatient he was freaking frantic that something had happened to the only other being he'd met in the past fifty years and relieved and understandably worked up when Grace reappeared and was just fine but oh my word, can you imagine? You've been alone for so long and you don't even know what killed your crew or why you survived and you finally, finally meet another person and they leave you a note for when they're gonna be back AND THEN THEY DON'T SHOW UP ON TIME?! where are they question?! are they okay question?!

And all you can do to ask, "hey are you okay over there question?!" is bang on the wall between your two ships and HOPE that this person you met didn't just die or have a horrible accident. FOR TWO HOURS. Headcanon that those two hours were when Rocky came up with the idea for the zenonite ball so he could come into the Hail Mary because he HAD to be able to make sure Grace was okay, even before they were friends, he could not lose anybody else, even this weird alien he just met, this is the first time he's had HOPE in almost FIFTY YEARS. It's no wonder he insists on watching Grace sleep as soon as they have the words for it. ;-;

[bramblepatch]

The thing is you can have a grassy lawn or even a golf course without it being an ecological disaster, you just have to a: be cool about having the occasional non-grass plant in the mix and b: be willing to live in a climate that supports grass without irrigation.

[bramblepatch]

Golf courses in California are an abomination which is why the sport was in fact invented in Scotland.

[abstrusetheorist]

I always thought that golf as a sport should be adapted to the local native landscape. I think this will encourage regional pride when local golfers completely trounce visitors at Swamp Golf, Desert Golf, Forest Golf, etc. Rich tourists will be pressured to travel extensively to experience all forms of golf, instead of staying in their backyard country club golf courses. Internet discourse will probably somehow get worse but I think this is a small price to pay.

[woodsdyke]

thinking about a lake i hiked to last year that was so small and cute. i jumped in to cool off and swam out to the middle, then looked down and saw trunks of entire dead trees dozens of feet below me and this is how i learned this particular lake is 100ft deep despite looking like a pond

[woodsdyke]

my immediate first thoughts were 1) damn im glad im a strong swimmer because this is a lake that eats people who can't swim and 2) i thought i had gotten past my fear of open water until right now

[woodsdyke]

it looks so nice and deceptively shallow. but she'll get you

[portraitoftheoddity]

This just in: ALL hours can be working hours if you're self employed and bad at setting boundaries!

[theprofessional-amateur]

Perfect choice of photo for this article about why the NYPD gay officers league won’t be marching in the NYC Pride parade.

Because the entire conflict is Pride organizers overwhelming voted on a “no weapons” policy and that is a blanket policy. If the officers don’t bring their weapons, they can march. But they refuse to march without them.

So their “we will not be erased” parade float while removing themselves because they aren’t getting special treatment is just

😘🤌

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

alright everyone place your bets now

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[hypokeimena]

#'this is present in the text' is often a good first step #but those second and third ones (naming it; describing its function) are vital (via @elucubrare)

[cipheramnesia]

Well and truly absurd humans are space orcs proposal - human and earth life in general are some of the only beings in the universe that can't perceive math. Every other race doesn't have math or numbers because that would be like if we had to invent an unbelievable complicated system to describe the state of experiencing visible light or sound. Everyone everywhere except humans has got a "math organ" and numbers are tangible physical things that can be measured, except measurements are completely foreign to everyone because those are described by numbers which are simply a sense we lack and had to create for ourselves.

Every other race thinks of us as similar to highly intelligent, blind cave salamanders who have learned to develop a horrific party trick where they turn the sense of sight into a nuclear bomb.

[tehamelie]

Hmm like if the standard for other species is like being a uncultured plebian faking it at a wine tasting without having any language to describe the variances if they can even perceive them. "This planet's diamater is. . .tasty." "This amount of water is. . .fruity? Maybe a little too salt?" The greatest physicists can come up with and make use of precise terms for the subtle difference in terroir in the distance to their moon at apogee and perigee. But then they argue forever about even trying to translate these experiences between different cultures. And then humans are like "that heavy vintage of c doesn't evoke any feelings but we calculate it to ~300,000 km/second in vacuum" and boom

[cipheramnesia]

Or like you're a human chilling on an aircraft carrier when suddenly a nuclear powered submarine driven by star nosed moles surfaces and you have to explain what the sun is in ten seconds or they launch their devastating scent based weapons of mass destruction.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Im imagining that if aliens have a math organ, surely there are some aliens who’s math organ had had an issue. Perhaps they learned that when the math organ is sick, it can be removed to save the individual, but then that individual is considered severely disabled by their kind.

Then they meet humans and we are all disabled this way, but we learned ways to still sense the math. To still measure it and find it. Like learning sign language or something.

Suddenly, math teachers become one of the most sought after disability educators in the universe. Planets open math schools for the children born unable to sense the math like we have for the blind and deaf.

Aliens start to view our education system that fails kids who struggle with math as a subject to be grossly negligent because “what do you mean you gave up because your teacher let you fall behind when you didn’t understand something? That would be like refusing you a wheelchair when it became obvious you struggled to walk.”

Then we would get to explain the American Healthcare System

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.

i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.

as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.

disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.

at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.

i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.

i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.

we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.

[starg2zerlion]

Good rule of thumb is the more people of different backgrounds you know, the harder it becomes to dehumanize them, so its a really good thing to meet people from different backgrounds, and anyone telling you that people from x culture or y country you really shouldnt interact with probably dont have your best interest in mind

[the-bar-sinister]

I'm so glad to see AO3 making it absolutely clear that none of these things are allowed to even be HINTED at.

Here's some of the language from the new post about AO3's police on commercial promotion:

-

There is a wide variety of things that are not allowed under AO3's non-commercialization rules.

Any other language which one might interpret as requesting or having requested financial contributions, whether for yourself or others. This covers indirect references, euphemisms, or other language intended to get around the TOS. Some examples of this include:

Thanks for the coffee!

My ☕ username is the same as my username here

This chapter is brought to you by my patrons

You know where to find me if you want early or bonus chapters

Check out my Twitter to learn how you can donate to me since I'm not allowed to discuss it here

If you want to hear more about my ideas, talk about fandom, or find more of my stuff for a coin, visit my Tumblr

Solicitation is not allowed, whether it's for yourself or on behalf of someone else.

[srfirefox]

Here's the crazy thing, folks. You *can* day things like "My Tumblr is [username], come over and scream into the void about these blorbos with me!" And then plaster your kofi all over your Tumblr. You can say "Thanks to [someone] for suggesting this fic! I listen to people's suggestions all the time on Tumblr!" for literally any reason someone told you to write a fic.

It's not hard to filter out the things you shouldn't say based on environment. Back when I was in high school you'd hear about all the fun someone had that weekend, but they wouldn't say there was drinking and weed and throwing firecrackers into a campfire where a teacher or parent could hear them.

[inqorporeal]

The reason we're not allowed to post monetary links or use any language alluding to it on AO3 is for our protection. If a copyright holder wants to sue a fan writer for making money or demand their work be taken down as "property" of the copyright holder, AO3's lawyers need to be able to defend us by saying money isn't being made and not perjuring themselves.

It's a LEGAL issue. AO3 has no issues with writers earning money. Just not directly via their platform. Not enough people seem to understand this. There's a very long history of copyright holders throwing their weight around and taking a hatchet to fandom spaces using legal backing, and we're trying to avoid that.

[lierdumoa]

It's more than that though. It's not just about protecting their asses, legally. It's also about the principles and values upon which AO3 was built.

AO3 came out of an exlicitly anti-monetization fan culture. You will hear the founders of AO3 use the term "gift economy" a lot if you follow any of their socials, which is another way of saying "mutual aid economy."

AO3 is a non-profit organization built and coded and maintained by volunteer labor and charitable donations.

Understand that when you try to use the AO3 platform to monetize, you are not just monetizing your own labor as a fan creator. You are also monetizing the volunteer labor of everyone who built that platform.

And they will tell you that they are NOT OKAY with you exploiting THEIR LABOR, THEIR HOURS UPON HOURS OF CODING AND TAG WRANGLING AND ORGANIZING AND FUNDRAISING, for your personal gain.

Stop trying to sell books in the middle of a library.

[missjoolee]

Guys, I think this might be more upsetting than chocolate guy.😭

[andmaybegayer]

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[partywithponies]

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

[urlocalpyshcopan]

as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name

[brainsforbabyjesus]

for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!

[infamousbrad]

I think I know how this works.

For personal context, before I went to the '98 Burning Man festival, one of the things I'd read from a couple different journalists was that "everybody" runs around naked. Which, fine by me, I'd already spent a lot of time in clothing-optional spaces, I'm not fanatic about it but it's nice.

So I got there early and set up a public shade structure on one of Black Rock City's main roads and spent most of each afternoon just watching the crowds go by. I don't remember seeing more than one actually naked person the whole week. I think a topless woman passed by my intersection maybe every half an hour, sometimes once an hour. So why in the hell were people, normally pretty smart and observant writers, coming away with the impression that everybody was naked?

Then I remembered an unrelated passage from Joel Garreau's great book about the history of the outer-ring suburbs, Edge City. Mall developers told him flat-out that they tried to keep the crowds in their malls less than 5% black. Not because they themselves were racist, but because they had determined, experimentally, that if more than 5% of the people in the mall are black, the median white shopper will wrongly describe the mall as at least half black, as mostly black. And not a few of them would describe it, at 6% black, as a mall where "only black people go." Why?

Because, emotionally, they were still upset over the last one when the next one came into view.

Same as the journalists describing Black Rock City as all naked. Same as the right-wing religious culture warriors describing television as entirely mixed-race and gender non-conforming. Not because it's even vaguely true, we know that, but because they haven't gotten over their discomfort over the last one by the time the next one comes along. The anger, not the stimulus, is the part that's continuous, so their mind lies to them that it's "all" the thing they can't get over.

[kagedtiger]

Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm

[fipindustries]

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

[mint-corset]

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

[such-justice-wow]

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

[lectorel]

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

[domina-honoribila]

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

[teaboot]

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[the-haiku-bot]

i would settle for

melatonin gummies but

well. knock yourself out

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.