Tony: When I get murdered, I want my case to be unsolved.
Steve: What?
Tony: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Steve:
Steve: No, I mean, can we go back to the “When I get murdered” part ???
Sade Olutola
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka

blake kathryn

Product Placement
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
art blog(derogatory)
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies

titsay
i don't do bad sauce passes
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin

shark vs the universe
Keni
AnasAbdin
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$LAYYYTER

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@sermon-g
Tony: When I get murdered, I want my case to be unsolved.
Steve: What?
Tony: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Steve:
Steve: No, I mean, can we go back to the “When I get murdered” part ???
Steve: You could’ve died!
Tony: I wasn’t hurt that badly! The doctor said all my bleeding was internal.
Steve:
Tony: That’s where the blood’s supposed to be!
original thread by @pukicho and several other users
I always love seeing this comic because it interprets Tumblr as a gigantic theater ruled by absolute chaos where sometimes somebody just stands up on their chair and shouts and we all pay attention
NordVPN is a scam
First of all, a lot of their claims are straight-up lies - it is not at all a serious concern anymore that some hacker in a coffee shop could steal your data over public wifi. They’re just trying to scare you into paying them
VPNs are important, just not for the reasons they describe. They encrypt your data so your ISP can’t spy on it and the destination server can’t personally identify your IP - the problem is, paid VPNs just become a secondary ISP at that point, since they have access to all your traffic unencrypted on the other side, and they know your IP too. If you really want to be anonymous, just using Tor (which is free) makes it virtually impossible for any third party to know both what is being sent and who is sending it. It’s trusted by hackers worldwide!
There are some things VPNs can do that Tor can’t, though. Many sites are able to recognize Tor and block anyone using it, and torrenting is very stressful on the Tor network and generally considered an uncool move (on top of being pretty difficult to set up). I use Tor for most of my browsing, but when it’s blocked or acting up (or when I need to pirate something without my ISP finding out and suing me) I switch to Firefox with Riseup’s free VPN. It’s run by a well-known activist collective, so you know they’re not spying on your data
VPNs do cost money to run, though, and RiseupVPN is supported wholly by donations. So if you download it, or just if you want to further privacy and action online, please consider donating to keep it running
One remarkable little detail in Playmobil: the Movie is that the camera focuses on the clock just before Marla answers the door to find the police standing there.
Why?
Because it shows the memory that gets burned into her brain.
It’s a trauma thing. She glanced at the microwave, sees the time, and then it sticks in her brain. She knows the time that her world came crashing down, and…yeah. Yeah.
“…if a painting really works down in your heart and changes the way you see, and think, and feel, you don’t think, ‘oh, I love this picture because it’s universal.’ ‘I love this painting because it speaks to all mankind.’ That’s not the reason anyone loves a piece of art. It’s a secret whisper from an alleyway. Psst, you. Hey kid. Yes you.”
The Goldfinch directed by John Crowley based on the 2013 novel by Donna Tartt
have you ever noticed how in ‘twelve days of christmas’ so many of the gifts are various birds? who has access to these many birds? why is this person receiving so many birds? can i receive this many birds? i want answers
This is because the song was written in the 1780s under the reign of George III, when birds were extremely scarce in England due to over-hunting. The specific birds listed were the most hunted, thus the song is about the singer’s true love finding the rarest things in country to give for Christmas. All 12 gifts were birds in the original published song.
The birds included were:
A Partridge in a Pear Tree- Both things uncommon in the country, partridges having gone extinct in the region due to hunting in 1763, when the last of its kind was shot down by The Duke Of Ellingsby and left for his dogs. Pear trees cannot grow in the region at all.
Two Turtle Doves- The rarest known dove, now completely extinct as it was hunted for its precious shell. As the only shelled bird, the Turtle Dove died out around 1850. Its shell was often used to make frames for glasses.
Three French Hens- The French Hen was not technically a hen, but a species of vulture which resembled a chicken. This species was farmed, not hunted, but was exceedingly scarce as the breed was closely controlled by its farmers, the French family who would go on to introduce “Bird Mustard,” a type of mustard meant specifically for the breed. French’s Mustard is still made today.
Four Calling Birds- A “Calling Bird” refers to a Aves Cornelius, Or the Calling Cornish Grouse as it’s known today. It exists now only in zoos. The bird is notable for its male having a corkscrew shaped 14 inch penis, which was dried and and turned to powder for use as an aphrodisiac at the time.
Five Golden Rings- Referring to the Gold Ringed Pheasant, a delicacy which was overhunted to extinction, the last known specimen being eaten by Gerald Geraldson Esq. who consumed the bird with a dollop of French’s Bird Mustard.
Six Geese-a-Laying- This does not refer to Geese laying eggs but to Alayin Geese, golden geese which were likely the inspiration for a goose that could lay a golden egg. They were already extinct by the time the song was written, but this fact was not known until around 1830.
Seven Swans a-Swimming- Swans are common today but only because of an intensive breeding program. They were as rare in the 1780s in England as Astatine is today. This is why the duck in “The Ugly Duckling” is so remarkable, not for its beauty but for its rarity.
Eight Maids-a-Milking- The Maidenbird was the only known bird to have live birth and nurse its young with milk. “Maiden’s Milk” was used to make the original egg-nog, which was a royal delicacy reserved only for the children of the king and queen and even to them it was only served on Christmas. The bird is now extinct.
Nine Ladies Dancing- Seems an odd gift to give a lover doesn’t it? Unless you know that the Dancing Lady Eagle was the only eagle to live in England at the time. It was named for its habit of shaking violently to rid itself of Eagle Ticks, which resembled a frenzied dance. It was trophy hunted to near extinction, and lives only in captivity now. As the tick has gone extinct, it no longer dances.
Ten Lordes-a-Leaping (To use the spelling of the time)- The Lorde Heron still exists today, though it is no longer called the “Leaping Lorde” as it was in the time of the song. Identical visually to the Royal Heron, the only way to tell if a Lorde is a Royal is whether the genome runs in its blood. The Royal gene being extremely rare, that kind of luxury was not for most people, who could only afford a different buzzard.
Eleven Pipers Piping- The Piper Finch is still rare though it’s sold today at some pet shops and bird markets. Its voice was said once to be the most beautiful sound in the world, but is now considered a nuisance by most. The Piper Finch is most famous as the type of bird seen adorning the tip of the Washington Monument, as George Washington raised the animals. The British Piper Tax was one of the reasons the colonies split off to form the modern country of New England.
Twelve Drummers Drumming- The Drumming Magpie. Immortalized by Gioachino Rossini in his opera “La Gazza Tamburo.” The rarest bird in England by far, only three were known to exist at the time of the song’s writing. This would make twelve of them an exceptional rarity and near impossibility to crown the parade of gift birds. The drumming Magpie is named for its habit of tapping on trees to drive out maggots and grubs for it to eat.
So there you have it, the song is a love song about finding the rarest birds in England for the one you love. This stands in stark contrast to “The Eight Days of Hanukkah” in which the gifts include horseradish, cement, hair dye, a basketball, and lint.
Bonus trivia- Christmas was never celebrated as a 12 day holiday until after the song was written. The song likely inspired the tradition.
It’s all about birds?????
Thank you for the falsehoods, tumblr user facts-i-just-made-up
I cannot believe I read that entire thing and only got tipped off at the “Christmas was never celebrated as a 12-day holiday” bit
Me to me: please, I beg of you, pay attention to the URLs
dog breeds that cannot give birth naturally should simply not be bred
My opinion is that dog breeds should be ended. Make a single gene pool of mutts and mongrels with a healthy body plan and a good diverse ancestry.
I mean, if you breed dogs for any specific purpose you are eventually going to get a breed. If you breed the best guide dogs for the blind together and produce offspring that are also good guide dogs, you will get a new Seeing Eye Breed, or a Search and Rescue Breed, or a Seizure Alert Breed...
Breeds themselves are not an inherently bad thing so long as there is sufficient screening for health and temperament and genetic diversity, and new blood is added to the mix. As long as humans are going to be sharing our spaces and lives with dogs instead of letting them go feral, there will be different breeds for different purposes and lifestyles.
When dogs breed freely among themselves they pretty much become bootleg dingos.
LMAO bootleg dingo!
they sure do! here are some pics of street dogs that have had many generations of interbreeding -- they all have that proto-dog base canine look (bootleg dingo is so good! very accurate) check it out
here are street dogs from India
here are street dogs from Morocco
Mexico
Istanbul
Moscow
Bangkok
Now, sometimes, you want a dog to help you do something, like pull a sled, or hunt a burrowing animal, or corral herds, and those dogs will have attributes that distill into
Sled dogs
Terriers
Herding dogs
etc. and that’s fine. But some breeders get hung up on aesthetic, arbitrarily deciding it is important to have an especially upturned nose, or especially short, bowed legs or whatever.
This is a bull dog skull
Their jaw bones don’t fit together properly. Their upturned noses cause breathing problems, which combine with other attributes to shorten their lifespan - on average they live half as long as, say, a golden retriever. The folds of skin around their face that breeders insist are so iconic to bully breeds trap moisture. Wrinkle faced bully breeds like frenchies, english bulldogs, pugs, and boston terriers are unable to do proper hygiene maintenance by themselves to prevent fungal infection in these folds of skin that can possibly rot their nose right off their face.
to OP’s point: Breeding different dog breeds can be a responsible thing to do, but only if done responsibly.
If you look at those street dogs and imagine hooking one up to a sled in Alaska or Russia, you can see where breeding for attributes we find in sled dogs would actually be the most humane thing you could do. Like, it snows in India. And those dogs mostly survive it. But it would be very cruel to take one out into the Siberian tundra.
On the other hand, some classic breeds have been twisted beyond their intended needs, and newer designer dogs are being thrown together with no sense of responsibility.
Labradoodles, for example, are super cute and backyard breeders were quick to take advantage of that for cash, without researching the bloodlines to avoid genetic problems.. in this case the fact that both labs and poodles have a genetic propensity for not only progressive retinal atrophy, which can cause blindness, but also von Willebrand's disease, a bleeding disorder. As a result, now Labradoodles are at higher risk for these specific health risks.
This is of special interest to me because I wanted a husky mix, and I knew about pomskies, these dogs:
a cross between huskies and pomeranians. But Pomskies are backyard designer dogs, bred with no thought beyond “omg cute”. They do not necessarily have good personality or health traits to combine.
So I found Klee Kais. These dogs:
Just as cute, much better dog.
Klee Kais were bred with a lot of research and forethought. Negative personality traits were diminished, positive behaviors were strengthened, genetic compatibility and health was of great concern. There were goals. There was a greater purpose, beyond just being super cute.
In the 80′s there was a responsible professional breeder in Alaska, a woman who had been breeding full sized siberian huskies. But she found herself wanting a husky that would be ideal for someone who lived in an apartment.
She needed to bring the size down, she needed to address some husky behavioral tendencies, and she needed to ensure she didn’t create genetic health risks. So she used two other breeds to do these things safely.
the Schipperke
and the German Spitz (aka the American Eskimo Dog)
careful responsible breeding wound up with Klee Kais, which come in three sizes
They are very healthy dogs, genetically. Also, they are better pets for average people than huskies tend to be.
Huskies are often very independent, they will choose to not listen, can be difficult to train, and often escape to go adventuring. They don’t make good guard dogs, often being very happy-go-lucky and not caring what you do if you aren’t directly fucking with their actual body. So you can come in and steal the TV and they’ll be like “Play? No? TV? Fine, I never watch that thing anyway.”
German spitz were often used as circus dogs, because they are very eager to please. They are extremely trainable, and they are velcro dogs, they stick to you, there’s no way they’re going to run away, they want to come to the bathroom with you. Schipperkes are little herding and alarm dogs, so they are also trainable and make good guard dogs. When these attributes replace those troublesome husky tendencies to ignore you, befriend intruders, and escape on field trips, you get a very good dog, well suited to apartment living, ideal for following you around and behaving well in a city.
And that’s exactly what I got with my dog Badger
Thanks for the informative post! Also I was wondering what your Badger was for a while now because he looked like a husky but was too small?
I once worked as a volunteer in a therapy with dogs for children with special needs.
The lady who ran the place got a Pug puppy, who would’ve have been sacrificed otherwise, for not being a perfect pug.
Why was he imperfect?
Because he had a fucking normal skull.
His eyes didn’t seem like they were gonna pop out.
He could breath normally (or at least better than a regular pug)
And his nose wasn’t as squished.
His name is Yoda, and he’s living a good life now.
BONG JOON-HO accepting Best Foreign Language Film at the 77th Golden Globe Awards for PARASITE
Andrew Hozier-Byrne 2015: Yes, of course, I have opinions, but it’s all open to interpretation because I don’t want to soapbox, I don’t want to offend ppl :)
andrew hozier-byrne 2019: anyway fuck the police
i will, mitski / deep love, lady lamb
Honestly I’m living for teen vogue right now
“That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed, without a doubt, a real superhero,” - Stan Lee
okay i’ve just had such a perfect idea for the layout of a wedding ceremony that i drew a diagram and will now describe it
so a traditional set up for a ceremony would look like this, with the audience lined up in front of the couple, and divided in the middle to make a path for the bride to come down and be given away by her father to the groom
instead, i propose (ohhh puns) a set up more like this:
where the audience is on either side (which halves the distance that the farthest person is from the action) and at the same time you can have each half of the couple come down aisles on opposite sides and both be given away by their parents to each other (which takes away all the gross sexist and hetero-normative crap)
just… isn’t that way better???
Me and my spouse-to-be making our way to the altar:
me explaining to the other trainers that apricorns are unknown outside of Johto because of deliberate suppression by the Silph and Devon corporations to present artificial pokeballs as the only means of capturing pokemon and establish regional monopolies after they eliminate renewable sources
(via @itsbenedict)
eternalfarnham replied to your post
you’re in the pocket of Big Ball, I see
there’s no pocket for me to BE in, there’s no LOBBYING involved, there’s no SUPPRESSION campaign because you don’t need one! traditional methods suppress themselves when you make modern pokéballs available. you might as well start accusing AT&T of deliberately suppressing the noble traditional art form of the goddamn semaphore.
not to mention OP demonstrates a total lack of understanding of the market realities of the pokéball industry- Silph and Devon are not monopolies, if they weren’t in constant competition their magic monster domination spheres wouldn’t cost two bucks a pop. the ball spec is a public standard, and Bill Masaki’s storage system based on that standard is an open-source project. they’re only the two largest players because they’re able to leverage economies of scale. you still get smaller operations like the Laverre City Poké Ball Factory, with better regional supply chains and local brand recognition, making room for themselves in the market.
sm FUCKING h at y’all granola-crunching conspiracy theorists. you probably also believe Super Potions cause autism.
Ok, but it is a shame that artisanal balls are basically off the market now. Like, you have to ride the monorail and hike through a half dozen routes just to find someone willing to sell you a Fast Ball. Believe me, when your boss at the power plant needs five Electrodes by Tuesday you are not going to want to make the trip to Alola; you’re going to head on down to the Mart and get some Ultra Balls, which will do the trick but aren’t well tailored to the job.
I’m with you that modern catching techniques are better, not to mention more humane, but there genuinely is a loss from more niche balls becoming harder to find. Maybe someday the long slowpoketail of consumer demand will be met, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for that Shellder.
In universe discourse is the most RIVETING shit possible, dude. I would read HOURS of in universe Pokemon discourse, god, seriously.
ok i learn all this shit about art and am like “hmm the science the ethics the technique of it all” but today i saw an 8 year old’s drawing and was like genuinely moved like i stared at it for so long and was like “this shit is the pinnacle of artistic talent. this is where i want to be as an artist” like 8 years old have no inhibitions no fears no insecurities in their art i WANT that what is more PURE than ART created with NO ULTERIOR MOTIVES just EXPRESSION and THE INNOCENT DESIRE TO CREATE SOMETHING WITH YOUR OWN TWO HANDS, god FUCK art intellectualism, art is about being FULL OF EMOTIONS and AFRAID of NOTHING
there is nothing more sincere and wholesome than art created without fear of judgement and as we grow up we fucking forget how to not be afraid to create and becoming an artist is learning that fear and then learning how to forget it again and i have not gotten there yet but i will. draw like youre a kid again
No one admits is but everyone’s REAL favorite ship dynamic is just
Person A: Character you can project onto
Person B: Your type