grand concert might be my least favorite scenario so far i am experiencing unprecedented levels of ragebait
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grand concert might be my least favorite scenario so far i am experiencing unprecedented levels of ragebait
a short au idea where shane dropping by supriste at his girlfriend’s house because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked
trying to build a character that uses subdetection units without having clorinde or lyney is genuinely the torment nexus
Even after they come out, Shane is a private person. So is Ilya. And, look, Shane is very happy that the centaurs are so accepting. He really, really has to remind himself how relieved and happy he is about it. He also remembers that this is how locker rooms are. As captain of the metros, the amount of times he had to tell off a player for showing pictures of their girlfriend's breasts or ass to other players was uncomfortably high.
So he really should have expected the question, "so who is, you know, the man?"
"Excuse me?"
"Dude, you can't ask that," a very progressive Young advised. "You gotta ask who's the top. Not the man."
Shane exhaled slowly. He loves his team he loves his team he loves his team.
"That is private," Shane said firmly. "And inappropriate in the workplace."
He was, of course, largely ignored. And while neither him nor Ilya really enjoyed their team, their friends, the internet, and homophobic players guessing their bedroom arraignments, Shane was surprised that nearly everyone got it wrong.
The general consensus what that Shane was the man. His going out outfit was usually jeans and a t-shirt, Ilya's was tight leather pants and a leopard print with four buttons undone. When they drank, Shane got a beer and Ilya either got shots or the sweetest cocktail they had. Ilya was more flamboyant, Shane was more reserved. Ilya liked to bake, Shane liked to grill.
And yes, Shane was aware why all these seemingly innocuous personality traits accumulated to make Shane the man and Ilya the girl. Still, it didn't stop it being generally annoying, offensive, and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Shane liked finding the silver lining in that this was something just for them to know.
Ilya finds it more amusing then Shane. And, like most things, tries to use it to his advantage.
"Shaaaane, carry my bag," Ilya held out his hockey bag.
"No."
"I can't believe you treat your girlfriend like this."
~*~
"Is it a happy bouquet or an 'i'm sorry' one?" Holmsberg asked as he and the rookies peered over Young's phone. "Get the all roses one."
"That's the most expensive one!"
"Dude."
"Shane," Ilya whined, calling their attention to him. "Why don't you ever buy me flowers?"
"That's messed up, dude," LaPointe shook his head.
"I'll buy you roses, Roz." Wyatt grinned.
"You will not," Shane grumbled.
~*~
"Ah," Ilya winced as he lowered himself on the bench.
"You okay?" Shane asked him. He had taken a hard check into the boards early in the game and, despite reassuring Shane he was fine, he knew his hip was killing him.
"Fine," Ilya said predictability. "Just sore. Will be fine in a minute."
"Hey," Zane nudged Shane's shoulder. "Go easy on him on game days, okay? We need him."
"Go easy?" Shane's eyebrows drew together. "What do you - Oh! No, that isn't - he - I didn't -"
"It's fine, man. Whatever you two-"
"No!" Shane interrupted. "He's still sore off of Richard's check - Not - Ilya, stop laughing!"
~*~
"Doesn't it bother you?" Shane asks Ilya one day.
"What?"
"That everyone assumes you're, you know," Shane gestured, a cute little blush on his cheeks. "The girl."
"There is no girl," Ilya raises his eyebrows and palms Shane through his pants. "I would know."
"Asshole," Shane scoffs. "You know what I mean."
"I know," Ilya smiled. "But no. It does not bother me."
"Why not?"
"Because it's hot," Ilya lifted his hands, over Shane's chest and up to his face. "That people can't even imagine you like this."
Ilya dips to kiss his neck and Shane's eyes flutter shut.
"Makes no sense," Ilya continued, hands roaming down to Shane's ass. "To me, I know this immediately."
"F-fuck off, you did not."
"Oh, I did," Ilya gripped his chin, forcing Shane to look at him. "I see you... those beautiful freckles and I know how desperate you are for it. So obvious. Thought everyone was looking at this boy thinking how good he would look getting fucked. How well he would take it."
"Ilya..."
"Shh," Ilya patted his face. "But I think is better this way. That only I get to even imagine you like this. Only I get to have it."
"Only you," Shane agreed readily, hands flying to the zipper on Ilya's jeans.
"Only for me," Ilya agreed, letting Shane take down his pants and boxers. He pressed down on Shane's shoulders, the slightest pressure getting him to sink down, eyes already heavy. Ilya ran his hand through Shane's soft hair, watching the gold of his wedding ring catch the room's low light. "Only for me. Forever."
Harris do his best as always
interesting kink assortment on the dash
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)
everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell
headcanon that like his son, david hollander too can also stare at his partner with big doe eyes and get what he wants. it’s rare for ilya to see it but the first time he does he points aggressively and goes “YOU!!! is your fault i never win an argument!!!!” david just blinks while yuna nods solemnly and tells ilya that unfortunately shane learned from the best
ilya mic’d up talking with his teammates about recipes he’s been trying recently and tricks he’s been trying to teach anya. and shane mic’d up barely having something that producers can actually use because of the amount of swears
Yuna realizes that Shane and Ilya are in LOVE love when she hears singing coming from the kitchen.
“Chopping carrots with Ilya,” Shane sings under his breath. “Making salad with Ilya.”
Yuna smiles softly from the dining room. This is one of her favorite things about her son. From the time he could (barely) talk, he made up little songs about anything and everything. The first time he’d done it, he’d been strapped into his car seat and watching cars go by. When he’d caught Yuna’s eye in the rear view mirror, he’d smiled with all 8 of his little teeth and waved.
“Dwiving,” he’d sung, all of 18 months old and barely able to say the word properly. “Dwivin’ wi’ Mama. Wuv Mama.”
Yuna’s not sure if it’s Shane’s way of processing the world around him, just A Thing some people do, or something special about her baby boy. All she knows is that from the first time he’d made up a little tune about Driving With Mama, everything turned into a song. When he’s comfortable and feeling at ease, Shane turns little things around him into music.
Learning to tie his shoes? “Daddy’s teaching me to tie my shoes. One lace over the other. Make the bunny ears!”
Gearing up for practice when he was 8? “Going to practice. Gonna be great. Gonna score a goal!”
Studying for a science test? “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Everyone says it because it’s true. Moving on—organelles and cell walls.”
Gearing up for his first Metros game as captain? “Taping my hockey stick. Going out on the ice. Gonna kick some ass.”
It’s something so uniquely, adorably, perfectly Shane.
Today, though? As Shane’s in the kitchen preparing a salad for lunch? For the first time, someone else sings along. For the first time in Shane’s life, someone hears the tune and lyrics that only exist in his head and joins in.
“Making salad with Shane,” Ilya croons along, hooking his chin over his boyfriend’s shoulder and wrapping strong arms around his waist. “Preparing lunch with my love.”
Shane smiles and sings back as Ilya nuzzles his neck. “Being domestic with my boyfriend. Thinking of boring things we can do together.”
Ilya laughs and kisses his ear before finishing the song. “I love to be boring with yooouuuu.”
It’s the best song Yuna’s ever heard.
**Continued here!
I love the opening of Heated Rivalry so much because it sets up the show and Shane and Ilya's dynamic so perfectly. From "not the most sociable" Shane Hollander actively going out of his way to interact (because he's already fascinated by him) to "not liked outside of his own locker room" Ilya Rozanov being a bit of a cocky shit (which we pretty quickly realise is a front) to the instant spark of attraction.
Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.
My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")
Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.
Also, yes, Ilya's lighter doesn't spark until Shane appears which is just an additional beautiful touch.
It would be really funny if Ilya's bachelor party takes on mythic status because of his reputation, with tonnes of rumours and people saying there's nothing on social media because people had to sign NDAs, only for it to never have happened. Too many people joked about throwing him the wildest party ever and he spent the time in between the season ending and the wedding ducking and weaving plans because he was NOT jeopardising this! He is not waking up just before marrying Shane in another country, in jail, or drunkenly married to someone else! He just wants to marry the love of his life so bad he's not even waiting to order chairs, STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!
unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.
but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.
like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.
Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"
It doesn't help David and Yuna that everyone and their mother thinks this is the funniest, cutest thing ever and laughs, just spurring Shane to do it more and more.
I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby
English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son
I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”
So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid
me when i FUCKING get you *image of two mourning doves cuddling*
it's the way that ruben's abuse towards everyone else is pure rage and violence, but with niall it is always the abuse of a father. punishing niall like he's a disobedient child: clean the house, mow the lawn, show me a picture when you're done so i know you've done it well. i pay for everything you have.
on top of the emasculation and on top of the way he resorts to sexual violence every single time. it's the way he calls him son as much as he calls him brother.
AND the worst part of it is that it's the making of that bond that creates the vehicle for the violence! ruben insists that niall is family (they both do) and so he's allowed to hurt niall in the way that he learned family is allowed to hurt each other. he does love niall, and so he has to love him in the same way that he learned to be loved.
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