So a couple days ago, Angela Peters, a wheelchair user with cerebral palsy, tried to get her nails done at a local nail salon. (“Da Vi nails”.) She was turned away because of her disability. Witnessing this, an employee at the Walmart nearby did her nails for her.
Here are some real headlines about this:
“Walmart Employee Gives Woman With Cerebral Palsy A Manicure”
“Walmart employee uses break to paint nails for woman with disability”
“Why This Walmart Employee’s Act of Kindness Is Going Viral”
“Walmart cashier steps in…” “Walmart worker gives…” “This Walmart employee painted…” “Cashier’s act of kindness…”
You can probably already see where I’m going with this, but I’m not finished. I read a few of the articles. Many of them did not provide the name of the nail salon who had broken the law to discriminate against Peters, and the articles that bothered to quote Peters at all were sure to quote her as saying she “forgives” them and doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble. She’s described as a “sweet” and “humble” regular customer.
As for the Walmart employee (who I won’t bother naming because she isn’t the important part of this story), each article is basically a hagiography. They talk about how kind she is, how selfless she is, how she “stepped in” to right a wrong (even though the nail salon will continue to discriminate and no one is stopping them so the wrong really hasn’t been righted). She’s interviewed at length and no one fucking talks about the ADA or how it’s not just thoughtless to turn away a person with a disability, it’s cruel, discriminatory, and illegal.
“We’re not trying to bash the nail salon. We’re not trying to make them lose customers, make them look bad.”
WHY THE FUCK NOT? Imagine if your local businesses refused to serve women or POC — hell, we’re having a national dialogue about the fucking homophobic bakers. This is discrimination.
The thing is, it’s not just this story. This happens all the time. A disabled person is discriminated against, and instead of the focus being on a business, law, or entire system that has failed them, a news story will focus on an employee who helped them. Or a teacher. Or a cop. (Note: A recent report found that half of all people killed by cops have a disability! Google it.)
This reframes the story, and more importantly, refocuses it. This is now a story about an act of kindness. No one has to pay attention to the discrimination at play. No one has to pay attention to the laws being broken, or the laws being changed. No one has to look at a system of discrimination against PWD — because that might implicate them. If the causes of discrimination are examined, then people will have to change the way they behave. Funds will have to be reallocated. Laws will have to change, and existing laws will have to actually be enforced.
Most of all, no one actually has to pay attention to the disabled folks being discriminated against. We can, once again, just be another inspirational prop in a feel-good story that improves the lives of able-bodied readers but not those of the disabled people who actually need help. It’s dehumanizing and it prevents us from claiming our rights.
Here’s the real story here: A woman was turned away from a local business because of her disability and they will face no consequences. No one even wants them to. This Walmart employee who did her nails for fun? Doesn’t matter at all.
I get wanting to see examples of human kindness. But kindness and justice are not the same thing, and one cannot replace the other. It’s kind when my family interprets for my deaf relatives. It’s kind when people help me with non-accessible doors. It’s kind when a stranger gives a woman a manicure.
But kindness didn’t help us when the cops came to our house multiple times and each time refused to bring an interpreter, which resulted in abuse victims being forced to interpret for the person who just beat the shit out of them. Kindness doesn’t help me when I go to a building and there’s no visible way to get inside. Kindness won’t help the next person who goes to that nail salon and gets turned away.
We cannot rely on kindness, just like we cannot rely on luck. That’s literally why we have discrimination laws. So people won’t have to hope their boss is “kind” enough to hire disabled people — or women, or POC, or religious minorities, or LGBT people. So people won’t have to hope transportation companies are “kind” enough to take your accessibility equipment. (I’m fucking looking at you, Uber.) So people won’t have to hope their doctor will be “kind” enough to get an interpreter. (Yes, my family members have literally been turned away from doctors before.)
I don’t want to have to hope that I can live a normal life. I want to know I can because there are laws in place to protect me and my rights. Which is why these articles are so goddamn damaging. It takes the focus off of the issues we face and puts it right back on the able-bodied people who the media has always felt more comfortable spotlighting.
This approach prevents tangible change.
The fact that this news story went viral but HR 620 passing the House didn’t? That says everything. It says that able-bodied people (and the media organizations that shape our culture) do not actually care about the well-being of people with disabilities. They care about feeling good about themselves without doing a goddamn thing to truly help us. They don’t mind that we still depend upon them for every scrap of good we get — and don’t want to fight so that we have the ability to get good things all on our own.
It’s far easier to go “wow, that woman’s so nice” than to change laws or make sure existing laws are actually enforced. That requires funds. It requires work. It requires legislative changes. And those are all things we’ve been conditioned to never ask for for fear of being labeled a drain or a burden. No one wants to be that bitter cripple that no one likes. The one who asks for far too much, like basic human rights.
Fuck off with that “a wonderful woman helped a pwd who was turned away” bullshit. How dare you call this a feel-good story! Every headline should be “LOCAL BUSINESS DISCRIMINATES AGAINST PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES” and until it is, I’ll just keep on being goddamn furious.
‘Coz frankly, I don’t much care if they like me anymore. Having legal rights is better than being liked — because then you don’t have to depend on being liked to survive. Amazing!
(Yo, call your senator about HR 620, a bill that will strip all efficacy from the ADA and prevent PWD from enforcing their rights. Donate to a local disability rights organization. Or heck, if this post resonated with you, drop a couple dollars in my ko-fi to help pay for my bus fare. I just learned that the nearest library to my new home is inaccessible, so I’ll have to take the bus across town! Lovely.)
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