Jabba the Slut

Katya. LA ----> Boston. I'm and adult but not a real adult.

[easel-eisel]

you should probably worry about the wraith as well

[segamascott]

[melonmemes]

[old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary]

I just want to get dicked down again =/

[iftadwascool]

Oh thank god.

[thunderkissed-deactivated201810]

Why is nobody asking who was running a fake Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary official blog for over a year then?? They posted nothing but legitimate OFSDS posts, went silent for a year, and then hit us with the thirsty on main post. WHO DID THIS????

[surprisebitch]

an expert con artist

[warcrimesimulator]

[222110]

[onlytwitterpics]

[watersport5-deactivated20180924]

I don’t understand this but I understand it

[taorluath-deactivated20221106]

[cheesepress-deactivated20191231]

me picking up my cat: heehee i love you my little fat baby

my cat blinking in morse code: you will die at 8:03 pm est on may 28th 2068

[cinemascoped-deactivated2019012]

elon: this dinner is exquisite wouldnt you say claire

grimes: ëėêëheehhehhehehe….mmmmmmmm *opens her mouth and a baby alligator comes out*

elon: i feel the exact same way about being a member of the bourgeois

grimes: Elon I Have A Confession To Make

elon: anything claire

grimes: *begins to ever so slowly levitate* If You Love Me…..uuuuuuuuuuuuüùÿ I Need To Redistribute Your Wealth

elon: claire that is proposterous i will not let you do that

grimes: ………eueueu i See *lights elon on fire with her psychic powers* AAAEEEE

waiter: how is everything going over here folks

grimes: its great we’ll take the çheck :)

[decadent-trans-girl]

I see we’ve reached the “bargaining” stage

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

this is an england hate blog

[autisticmoonchild]

HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL? WHAT DID MY COUNTRY EVER DO TO ANYONE?!

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[autisticmoonchild]

oh sorry sweetie, i didn’t realise you still lived in the 1800s…🙄🙄

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[loreofcardigan]

I’ve been thinking about this for days. The 1800s??? The 1800s????

The 1800s ???????????????!

[fromthemotionpicture]

[kawaiiasfuckk]

My friend at my funeral

[dajo42]

hm

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

summer outfit (w/ accessory)

[artrefineries]

[feyrealms]

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

[newtgeiszler]

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

[wombatking]

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

[buttwhyyoumad]

[onlytwitterpics]

[rniko]

clock this tea

[exileisland]

me: *is still a sucker for beard and fuckboy haircut*

[surreal--memes]

[Src]