definitely not the final version of this but just needed to whip up something real quick since i've had quite a few people request i make a masterlist bahaha anyways here's an easier way to find my work for now <3
✰ = popular | ♡ = personal fav
s = smut/sugesstive | a = angst | f = fluff
LEE HEESEUNG.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) random texts with bf!heeseung
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) dating down bad!heeseung
( ♡ ) random texts with fwb!heeseung
( ♡ ) love triangle posts w/ sunghoon
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) heeseung w a crush
fics
coming soon...
JAY PARK.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) random texts with bf!jay
( ♡ ) dating down bad!jay
fics
bang bang, kiss kiss. (s)
JAKE SIM.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) random texts with bf!jake
( ✰ ) dating down bad!jake
fics
coming soon...
PARK SUNGHOON.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) random texts with bf!sunghoon
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) dating down bad!sunghoon
( ♡ ) love triangle posts w/ heeseung
definitely not the final version of this but just needed to whip up something real quick since i've had quite a few people request i make a masterlist bahaha anyways here's an easier way to find my work for now <3
✰ = popular | ♡ = personal fav
s = smut/sugesstive | a = angst | f = fluff
LEE HEESEUNG.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) random texts with bf!heeseung
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) dating down bad!heeseung
( ♡ ) random texts with fwb!heeseung
( ♡ ) love triangle posts w/ sunghoon
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) heeseung w a crush
fics
coming soon...
JAY PARK.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) random texts with bf!jay
( ♡ ) dating down bad!jay
fics
bang bang, kiss kiss. (s)
JAKE SIM.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) random texts with bf!jake
( ✰ ) dating down bad!jake
fics
coming soon...
PARK SUNGHOON.
smau / texts
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) random texts with bf!sunghoon
( ✰ ) ( ♡ ) dating down bad!sunghoon
( ♡ ) love triangle posts w/ heeseung
youre my new favorite comfort page please never leave
i wont <333 it might just take me a while to update or post new fics tho bc college is so hectic and i have this 1 prof who seems to enjoy failing their students on exams :'))
hey i really love your works! i feel so lucky cause i love both akaashi and levi and im able to enjoy topnotch fics from you! is there any chance you're writing a fluff fic for akaashi?
awee thank uu im vvv glad u love them!! and yes, ill be writing an akaashi fluff some time soon ^^
hq boys when you pepper them with kisses bc you're sad
characters: kenma, akaashi, kuroo
warning/s: none
genre: fluff, comfort
a/n: here's some fluff bc i think ive been writing too much angst lately aksjdkhskshs
kozume kenma
you were sitting next to kenma, staring at your boyfriend's face that had his game face plastered on his features in full concentration. you watched in silence as he played, cheek leaning against your palm.
this wasn't new, in fact, most of your time spent at his place were usually just you doing your own stuff while he played. you didn't really mind, wanting to just be around kenma and feel his presence.
he also loved having you near him, you knew that. but sometimes, especially when you're feeling down, it felt as if he didn't care a bit like right now. kenma cared a lot but he's no mind reader, so he doesn't exactly know you're upset because you failed one of your exams today.
but you really wanted to be close to him as some sort of comfort, so you moved away from the desk and lean towards kenma, resting your chin on his shoulders and catching him give you a side-eye.
"what're you doing?" he asked, focused on the screen again, fingers moving swiftly against the keyboards.
you shrugged, sighing deeply. "nothing."
"okay."
pouting at his lack of response, you placed a quick peck on his cheek. his brows jumped, the crease in his forehead disappearing for the first time tonight. you planted another one and another one and another one, soft and brief and lazy. kenma moved his face towards you when you stopped for a second due to the discomfort creeping up your neck from the position, your boyfriend whining at the sudden loss of contact.
now it's your brows that raised, not really expecting for him to ask more. he leaned closer, tilting his head a little sideways as a sign for you to keep going.
"why'd you stop?"
"my neck was starting to hurt, i thought i was bothering you though." you shifted in your seat to find a much comfortable position.
he frowned, glancing at you and quickly reaching for the neck pillow that sat on the far end of his desk.
"i love it when you do that," he said softly, pausing the game so he could put the pillow around your neck and cup your face gently. "you're never a bother to me."
"kenma," your lips trembled slightly when tears started gathering at your eyes, touched by his affection.
"i know you're not okay. i could tell since you got here. do you wanna get ice cream after and talk about it?"
you nodded, not saying a word because you were sure your voice would crack if you did and kenma knew that, ruffling your hair before turning back to his game.
"ice cream it is then," he said, pressing play. "i'll buy you two if you continue with the kisses."
giggling, you plant more soft kisses on his cheek, even massaging the back of his neck as you watched him play. later that night, he took you to your favorite ice cream parlor, listening attentively to everything you had to say.
akaashi keiji
you and akaashi haven't seen each other the past week due to both of your conflicting and hectic schedules. their practices were extended to later hours for the upcoming interhigh while you were busy with club activities. whenever you had free time, akaashi would be unavailable and vise versa.
you missed each other so much it hurts which was why the second you both had matching free time, it was spent on cuddling for hours on end. even when you were lying on top of akaashi, face hiding at the crook of his neck and feeling the rise and fall of his chest, you still craved for more.
thinking of having to separate and not see each other again for days made your heart sink into your stomach, nuzzling against his neck as if you could get even closer than you were already.
he ran his hand up and down your back in comfort, even giving a gentle squeeze on your arm to remind you he was physically there with you. you sighed deeply, landing feather-like kisses at his jaw.
"missed you."
"i know," akaashi said barely above a whisper, relaxing into the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. "i missed you too, love."
as you kept going with your ministrations, your eyes were wide in surprise when akaashi stopped you, leaning away just to turn to his side and face you. placing a hand at the back of your neck, you felt his lips on your forehead. then, you felt them next on the space between your brows, then at the tip of your nose, then at your chin.
stopping by your lips, he hovered, staring at you lovingly through half lidded eyes. blood rushed to your cheeks, heating up at the way he was gazing at you. slowly, akaashi captured your lips in his, pulling you forward by his hand on your nape as he moved his lips passionately you're glad you were laying down otherwise your knees would've gave out. it was sweet and short, slipping pecks in between before moving back a little.
"don't be so sad anymore, hm? i'm here now." he said, caressing your cheek with his thumb. the corner of your lips tug upward in a smile, releasing a contented sigh as you stared at each other for a little while.
kuroo tetsuro
he was in a middle of a phone call with yaku discussing about their chemistry homework and spitting out chemical names that were alien to you. it has been going of nearly an hour and a half and you were starting to get impatient, wanting to get back to the movie currenly paused at the screen before yaku called.
saturday nights were movie nights and it was an agreement that either of you must be free from distractions - no phone notifications, mentions of school works, and the like. unless it was an emergency. yaku calling wasn't an emergency, in fact, it was just to argue with kuroo that his answers were right and your boyfriend's were wrong.
and you wouldn't mind it if it were any other day but not today. not after movie nights have been pushed back twice in a row because kuroo has been too exhausted from training to even stay awake at 9 pm.
scooting closer to him on the couch, you locked him in place by putting your arms around his neck and resting your legs on his lap. used to your clinginess, he doesn't react - kept his mind on throwing insults at yaku.
so you proceed with your plan in mind. you weren't exactly placing kisses, just letting your lips graze the corner of his mouth to tease, knowing that it riled him up when you don't kiss him completely.
his free hand came to give your thigh a warning squeeze, a light chuckle leaving you as you kept teasing him, lips hovering at the side of his face. when you felt considerate, you'd kiss him lightly.
you're not really sure how long it went on but probably enough time for kuroo to give up.
"okay bro whatever, let's check it again on monday with kai and see who's really right. i'm busy, bye." with a tap on end call, he tossed the phone on the empty spot beside him before tackling you on the couch, making you shriek as your back met the cushion.
"my babygirl's such a tease," he said in a low, husky voice that sent shivers up and down your spine. before you could even utter a single word, kuroo's smashing his lips against yours, moving fast that it got you mind short-circuiting.
when you finally caught up with his pace and started getting into it, he pulled away. you whined, grabbing his collar to pull him down but doesn't budge, a smirk on his face.
"it's not so fun getting teased, is it?" he winked, clearly amused at your annoyed expression.
you rolled your eyes, groaning as you smack his bicep. "seriously kuroo?"
"what, you started it kitten. it's only fair if you get a little taste of it." he laughed when you scowled further, shaking his head lightly and giving you a sweet, gentle kiss. "sorry i interrupted our movie night."
"'s okay," you mumbled in between the kiss.
"we can make out for the rest of it, you know, a way for me to make it up to you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.
you scoffed, but really, the idea sounded perfect.
"just admit you enjoy kissing me."
"mmm sure, whatever," kuroo mumbled as he dipped his head, capturing your lips again. maybe movie night being interrupted wasn't so bad afterall.
HI HI HI so ive read all ur fanfics and THEY ARE SO GOSH DARN GOOD i’ve literally had a hard time looking for fics i genuinely enjoy and when i came across ur page i’ve been rereading the akaashi and levi stories nonstop THANK YOU SM FOR FEEDING US
NO, THANK U ANON OMG IM SOBBING T3T ILY IM SO GLAD U ENJOY THEM <3333
Heyy I’ve been following for awhile and I noticed you seem to be really busy with school stuff. I just wanted to know how you’re doing and that I hope you’re taking care of yourself well :) looking forward to reading more from you ❤️❤️
awe thank u sm anon, ily <3 ig im doing fine except for the fact i got some crappy professors sad noises. u take care too anon, ty for being patient <333
summary: armin keeps his promise even when you're not around anymore.
genre: pure angst, hurt no comfort
warning(s): manga spoilers, mentions of blood, major character death, mentions of injuries, lmk for more // not proof read ish
pairing: armin arlert x reader
a/n: sorry for being so ia lately, i’ve been super busy with college questions myself for choosing the science field lol so yeah progress is reaaally slow with other works but they’re there in my drafts... thanks for being patient with my ily all (also recommend listening to vogel im kafig for this for more feels) also a lil rusty :3
light.
your body felt light, like you were floating above water or to be more accurate, a feather floating in the air. time was slow and the world was quiet, making the sound of your soft breaths loud in your ears.
strange.
as far as your mind can recall, it was loud and hectic that you were nearly out of breath. you squint at the sun, movements seemingly tedious and uncontrollable, your arms and legs feeling limp. you blinked, realizing how blue the skies were up close. pretty, armin would love this.
-
armin, would love this.
the weather was great today, giving you a perfect chance to adore the clouds as they moved smoothly above in the skies. it was beautiful and you were excited for armin to see this.
speaking of, armin's head came into view above you, blocking your line of sight as he knelt by your head. but you weren't complaining, his blue eyes were prettier than the skies and his adorable smile was a much better view.
"sorry it took me a while, i was showing eren something i found." he lay next to you with a book pressed against his chest, sighing in relief when catching the view you were admiring just moments ago.
"pretty, isn't it?" you said, though by pretty you meant him, admiring the side of his face and the small smile that crept up his lips. he nodded, "it is. i like it here."
"me too."
this was a shared spot with armin, meeting everyday at a hill not so far from the town where the view of the clouds could best be admired. it was peaceful in this area, the chirping of the birds and the muffled noises of the market from a distance. but frankly, anywhere with armin was a place you'd like.
"so what were you sharing with eren?" you pursed your lips, noticing his eyes light up at you showing interest, sitting up and opening the book he held for you to see.
he told you everything - about the world beyond the walls. an ocean of salt, a land filled with sand, a place made up of ice, and so on. chin resting on your palms, you listened attentively, observed and watched the twinkle in his eyes as he told you those things and you could feel your heart swell with joy.
"i'll take you to these places someday," he said, cheeks flushing as he closed the book. you felt yourself blush, sitting up as well to hide it from him.
"you promise?"
"i promise."
entwining your pinkies together and sealing the promise, you grew excited of the future with armin, pointing at the sketch of a land made of ice you said, “take me here then.”
“i will. then i’ll take you here next, and here, oh, here too.” armin smiled softly at you, pointing at the sketches on the book before going back to lying down on the grass and pointing at the clouds.
"i wanna touch them. do you think i can take a chunk of it?"
armin snorted, "that's impossible."
-
impossible.
touching the clouds was impossible and so was being close to it without anything to bring you to it. how did you come this close?
you smiled softly, the ache in your muscles gone. you wanted to extend your arms, to touch them like you’ve always wanted to. were they really as soft as a cotton? would you be able to hold them in your hands? armin, i can finally see them up close.
tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes, chest filled with warmth and delight at the beauty you were seeing. everyday, you saw the skies whether it was bright in its glory or gloomy with the rain but right now, it was like a glimpse of paradise. armin would surely love this too.
the tranquility and bliss was fleeting as the sight was stolen taken away, body rotating to the left in what seemed like slow motion and the scene you're met with next has your eyes growing wide, horrified.
-
horrified, you pushed eren aside as you dropped to your knees next to armin, arms coming around him in a tight embrace while you sobbed at the crook of his neck.
"thank you," you whimpered. "you scared me so much armin, i thought i lost you."
armin's hands made their way around your waist, giving you a reassuring squeeze that he was right there alive, heart beating as if it wasn't on the brink of stopping hours ago. "i'm sorry."
"please, don't do that again," you choked on your tears, the image of him nearly dying after fighting against bertholdt replaying in your head.
"i won't." caressing your hair, he relaxed against you. "i won't leave you ever. i promise."
-
armin made a lot of promises to you. promises of taking you to beautiful places, taking care of you, staying alive for you, being with you, loving you.
you thought back if you ever returned the promise of staying alive too, scared that you might be the one to break it after you've pestered him not to die since day one of joining the corps until the rumbling.
body turning to face up again, the wind was harsh against your skin as gravity began to pull you back down. the short solace dissipating and time unfreezing, suddenly falling seemed to be faster than staying up in the air.
the skies were getting further away just as you had finally reached out for them, just like how freedom was always stripped away from you and your friends' fingertips.
cruel.
the world was cruel. a tear escaped, trailing down your left cheek when you think of armin. his ocean blue eyes that held the stars and continued to see the good in evil, his blue eyes that you could stare into forever while they looked back at you lovingly. you smiled softly when remembering how soft his hair was as you threaded your fingers through them. you wanted to touch them again.
you wanted to touch armin again.
closing your eyes, you braced for the impact. waiting to hit the ground and maybe, the next time you wake up you'd be lying on the soft grass where you and armin always met up as kids. maybe, he'll be there too and you'll both stay there forever with no more war, no more deaths, no more chaos.
a loud gasp broke free from your chest, back hitting something that surely wasn't the ground but still rigid enough, rebounding slightly from the impact before your body rolled painfully sideways.
-
eren looked sideways, avoiding the terrified but mostly hurt expression painting your features as he told you, "you'll die in the rumbling."
no words left your lips, caught off guard by his words. you met up in a secluded alleyway at his request at the night of his escape, saying there was something you needed to know before he acted on his plans. this, you didn't expect.
"i saw it," eren mumbled. "you don't have to die, you know?"
your brows furrowed, "what do you mean?"
"don't fight. leave and go to the northern wall where historia is and wait for armin there." he shot you a serious look, masking his concern with a tough exterior.
"if i die, someone else will in my place." your lips trembled at the thought. death wasn't a scary concept to you. always having it chase your tail and avoid it by a margin for years that it didn't faze you anymore. leaving armin alone was what scared you most that you almost bite at eren's idea. but you were a variable in the future he saw; a significant piece in a game of chess. if you were to change things for your own benefit, the burden was going to be passed to someone else and you weren't sure which one was worse.
sensing your predicament, eren held your shoulders, shaking you lightly. "be selfish for once. do it for you and armin. if you die, armin will never heal from it. he's..." his head dropped and you swore you saw a tear fall to the ground. "i don't want him to deal with the pain of losing us both. please, stay alive."
you wanted to, god you wanted to live. you wanted to marry armin, build a family with him, live until your hairs turned gray. this was torture.
"you shouldn't have told me, eren. what am i supposed to do now?!" yanking his hands off you, you took a step back from him, failing to stop the tears that rolled down your cheeks. eren was just as broken as you, eyes solemn and full of agony from the future he saw. but the more you studied his expression, the clearer it became.
"no," you said shakily. "you're only telling me this so i can spend the rest of my time with armin the best way i can. there's no other way for me in the futue you saw, is there?"
defeated, eren nodded. were you supposed to thank him? or should you yell at him for telling you? you didn't know.
"i always want the best for you and armin. i'm sorry." sorry because in his plans of achieving freedom, you, a dear friend to him, were going to die.
slowly, your hands snaked at his waist, surprising him. you were upset, but the fact that this was the last time you'll ever talk to eren was more heartbreaking than the future he told you.
"thank you for being my friend, eren."
"i'm sorry."
-
i'm sorry armin. i'm sorry for not telling you.
"dammit!"
pain. the adrenaline has stopped flowing in your system and all you could feel was pain all over like needles prickling and fire burning your body. you were dangling in the air this time, screeching in pain as the captain held your wrist tightly to keep you from falling. falco had caught you midair, just in time before the worst came.
the searing pain in your shoulder was unbearable, practically ripping your vocal chords from how much you were screaming at the agony.
"hold on!" levi gritted his teeth, sweat trickling at the side of his face as he endured his own injuries just to keep you up. "don't you dare let go."
gabi came to help pull you up until it was safe enough for you to lay still, her eyes wide and glassy, flickering between you and her red stained hands.
ah, right. before you were thrown up in the air like a ragged doll, you were helping jean get to pieck, shoving him aside when a titan came from behind resulting to you being swatted away harshly and their sharp nail grazing at your abdomen.
the adrenaline prevented you from feeling that for a while but now that you lay still, you could feel the blood oozing out of the wound and your throat going dry. you could also feel a few broken ribs at the landing, chest heaving as you eased your breath.
"don't close your eyes," levi said, clicking his tongue and yelling orders at falco. shaking your weak body, you focused your attention on him. "you're going to meet again with armin so don't you fucking close your eyes, understood?"
you nodded, though you're not sure if you can withstand the exhaustion. this must be what eren saw in his vision.
this must be it.
-
you thought that was it.
a miscalculation on your end nearly cost you your life, a titan grabbing your wire that shot past its ear. luckily, armin was quick enough to react, cutting the wire before it could pull you to it and catching you in the air.
"can you be a bit more careful?!" the neck in his veins throbbed, ears turning red from the way he raised his voice at you. "you could've died!"
"i know, i didn't think it was that close-"
"wait for me to say something next time instead of doing things on your own, will you?!" he yelled, taking big steps towards you and shrugging off mikasa who tried to stop him. "you're so reckless! all you ever think about is yourself! can you stop for a second and think about me too?!"
you flinched, stomach twisting and sinking uncomfortably at the panic and fear written all over armin's face. he rarely raised your voice, especially at you, so now that he was doing it meant you really did scare the life out of him.
but it ripped you apart even more at the way he was reacting now from a close call. how was he going to be when it was time. you hugged him, bringing him close to you as you snuggled against his chest.
"i'm sorry," he said softly into your hair, holding you tight. "i shouldn't have yelled-"
"'s fine."
"i'm just scared," he whispered, trying not to sniffle too loud. "i can't lose you. i don't want to."
"i know," was all you could say in return. wanting to reassure him you weren't going anywhere, but it was far from the truth and lying to armin was the last thing you ever wanted.
-
you wanted to see armin or feel him at least.
you don't know how long you've been sitting on the concrete, listening on the commotion from afar and being clueless on what's happening.
was armin okay? was he finally back? were you going to see him one last time?
-
the next time you blinked awake, armin was next to you.
"am i dreaming?" you said weakly, attempting to raise your hand to hold his face. he has been crying; you could see it from the wetness of his lashes, his puffy red eyes, the trails of his previous tears. eren has gone, it was over.
you smiled in relief. they're free, eren.
"no, i'm here. i'm really here." armin took your left hand in both of his big ones, planting a kiss on your knuckles as he sat next to you. "i'm not going anywhere."
"that's nice," you hummed, leaning against his shoulder as he draped an arm around you.
"i'm sorry you had to wait long," his voice broke, hot tears falling on your entwined hands. you shook your head no, too tired to even shed a tear. "but thank you for waiting."
you nodded. "the clouds are so pretty, aren't they?"
his shoulders shuddered, a choked sob leaving his chest, completely wrapping both his arms around you in a tight embrace. "yeah," he managed to say. "they are."
"i saw them up close... wish you saw them too."
"i don't need to," his lips trembled terribly, weeping violently when you started putting most of your weight against him. "nothing ever amounts to how beautiful you are."
you chuckled, wincing at the pain that jolted through your body. "still as romantic as ever, huh. will you still take me to see the world?"
"of course, love." armin exhaled deeply, holding back his dam of tears from breaking. "i'll take you anywhere and everywhere you want."
with the remaining strength you have, you rested your chin on his shoulder to see his beautiful face up close once more.
"i’ll see you later, yeah?" you smiled weakly, breathing becoming more difficult. your heart ached at having to leave him, wishing you could still stay even a little longer and be with him. but life was cruel, and this was how things turned out to be. "i love you, armin and i’m so glad i get to spend most of my time alive with you. remember that."
he squeezed his eyes shut, resting his forehead against yours.
"smile for me please." and he does, and as you close your eyes, his beautiful smile was the last thing you saw.
"i love you," his voice broke, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead as he finally burst into tears.
-
you squint at the blinding light, the sun, as you presumed, shining down brightly making it difficult to see. while your eyes adjusted to the brightness, the smell of fresh grass and summertime air filled your nostrils and from above you could hear the mellow chirps of the bird.
bringing a hand up to block the sun, you were beaten to it by a book hovering above your face, blinking twice to find armin beaming at you, his hair parted in the middle. a new hairstyle, huh.
"i was reading to you but then you fell asleep," he pouted, lying down beside you and staring at you lovingly. "are you tired?"
"no," you laughed, sighing contently. "i feel more energetic actually. like i've had an amazing sleep after a very tiring day."
"that's nice. i'll take that as a sign that we can stay here longer then."
you giggled, turning to your side to face him completely and you felt contented more than ever. "we can even stay here forever if you want."
"that's even better," armin said, smiling widely as he looked up at the sky.
-
armin lay on the grass, watching as the clouds moved steadily above him. he stayed there longer than usual today, seeking comfort from the gentle brush of the wind against him.
today, it felt like you were right next to him. as if you were pointing at the clouds and telling him about what you thought of them. he could still hear your voice clearly like it were just yesterday, before the titans broke down the wall of the town you both grew up in, stripping you both of your youth.
he missed you more and more everyday, thinking of you all the time and even if it was impossible, hoped you would one day come back to him and to this spot like you always did as kids with the brightest of smiles painting your features. sometimes, it still felt like you were around; he'd be excited to come home to you after an exhausting day only to arrive to a dull, empty space.
"i miss you," he whispered to the air, thinking that maybe you were right next to him too at this moment.
"oi, armin. time to go." jean called and pointed past his shoulder, gesturing that it was time to leave again. armin huffed, pushing himself up and looking at the paper in his hand - the sketch of a land made up of ice that he ripped from the book to take with him as they traveled.
"let's go and see the world, love."
ending was kinda half assed im sorry</3 rbs and feedbacks appreciated ;) stay safe ppl
oh boy i have a LOT KDJSKSHDKDJS the more i keep rewatching the more the list just gets longer bUT my faves are kenma (i love him :'>), bokuto, kuroo, akaashi, oikawa, suna, the twins, noya, yaku, and tendou ^^
hiyaaa so ive been reading ur fics and your so underrated !! i love u sm and u deserve so much more omg ;(( the way you write is just so muah i loce it, i could read it for days omg carry on writiting !! keep safe bb :))
omg ily thank youu so muchh!! words like this definitely keeps me motivated uwu tysm and you keep safe too!! <33
summary: humanity’s strongest soldier, levi, was just as human as everyone else, having it the hardest after the rumbling, scars running deeper than the surface and you’re there to help him through it.
warning(s): ch 139 manga spoilers, mentions of death and injuries, mentions of nightmares, insecurities // lmk if there’s more
genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
a/n: got a little inspiration from lana del rey’s young & beautiful :> also, i struggled with the last part bc tumblr kept deleting it even though i saved it sksks ps not proof read towards the end. enjoy!
the war between the marleyans and eldians was over. titans have perished from the world for good and it felt like life has truly began for everyone from paradis, but most especially for the scouts who survived.
to say that it was a relief was an understatement, no words can ever profoundly explain how great it felt to no longer have to wake up and think that it could be your last, living in constant fear of being eaten by a titan or killed by an enemy. above all, none of you ever have to be scared of losing important people in life anymore.
you never have to deal with the nightmare of losing the only person that mattered the most, levi. you love him so much that you were willing to sacrifice your life for him rather than losing him - you'd rather die than live in a world without him; a cruel world where he was the only great thing to happen in your life.
it probably makes you the most selfish person in the world but you were more than happy to survive hell together with levi. you were proud of him, humanity's strongest soldier who fought with his life and every inch of his being despite having it the hardest, witnessing the deaths of many significant people to him. despite his tremendous losses, he still survived it all.
but even when you were finally free, he had suffered greatly physically and mentally that it tore you apart.
levi had it the hardest the first few months since the rumbling. when his insomnia allowed him to sleep, his nightmares would wake him up during ungodly hours, screaming, crying, and kicking the sheets. the first time it happened, you panicked, not knowing what to do and how to help him.
being a light sleeper, you woke up to him mumbling incoherent words and moving restlessly on his side of the bed, sweat tracing his skin like a broken faucet, brows furrowed deeply.
"levi." you placed a hand on top of his trembling hands, shaking him lightly in an attempt to wake him up but only grew more concerned when he began whimpering, finally getting you to sit up. "levi!"
he jolted awake, gasping for air like he just got out of the water, hastily moving away as if someone was trying to attack him until his back hit the headboard. you moved quickly, placing your hands on both his cheeks and getting him to look at you.
"i'm right here, you're okay levi," you said softly, reassuring him with your words and soothing him by caressing his tears stained cheeks with your thumbs. frantic eyes searched for you, relaxing almost immediately when finally finding you next to him. fear, pain, and sadness painted his features that it pierced your heart, your own sorrow not even amounting to half of his. you forced a smile, "it's okay now."
sob leaving his lips, he fell into your embrace, arms wrapping around your waist tightly like you were a figment of his imagination bound to disappear soon. your fingers combed through his coal black hair in comfort, own tears running down your face as he broke down into your shoulders, burying his face deeper into the crook of your neck as if hiding away from the monstrosity of life and the demons that haunted him.
in the many years you've been with levi, you have never seen him so vulnerable, always showing a tough exterior and being strong for everyone that sometimes you forgot he was human too and that night served as a reminder that he was just like you and everyone else. he was someone who cared deeply, scars running deeper than the surface and piercing through his soul.
he fell asleep, or at least you thought he did, an hour later with his head laying on your chest as you continued running your fingers through his hair. looking at him, your other hand gently traced down the length of the scar on his face, gut wrenching at the damage he got and the horror you felt that day when seeing him at the brink of death washed over you again and you hold him tighter. you almost lost him that day, rushing to his side after regrouping with hange, bursting into tears afraid and worried that he'd stop breathing. but even with the injuries he obtained in the fight to end destruction, you still found him beautiful alongside the scars that littered his body.
the nights repeat itself for months, levi screaming awake and you jolting up and reassuring him. during the nights that gabi and falco stayed over, they'd rush to the room with panic-stricken faces before morphing into melancholy, bringing water to levi and staying for a few minutes before retreating to their rooms. at nights when his insomnia kicked in, you both would lay awake wrapped in each other's arms and listening to each other's heartbeats. he'd caress your hair and plant feather-like kisses on your forehead, his own way of saying he loves you.
it was difficult but you knew well that levi had it worse, eyes becoming gloomy during the day and not saying much while you walked outside, pushing him in his wheelchair as you both took in the warmth and tranquility of the air that you once couldn’t enjoy.
you naturally started waking up in the middle of the night, laying there and memorizing every detail of levi's face as he slept peacefully while you prayed and hoped that it would be one of those rare nights when his nightmares allowed him to rest. you never told levi, knowing he'd only feel guilty and that was the last thing you wanted.
tonight was one of those, the clock on the wall telling you it was a quarter to four in the morning. you smiled weakly, glad that he could get proper sleep and rest. slowly moving out of bed, you tiptoed out of the room, careful not to wake him as you made yourself some tea.
you went through the letters you received from armin a couple days ago, forgetting to read them during gabi's stay. your heart melted at the words and from knowing that they were doing well, something you always wished for them during the times you spent together as scouts.
we've been traveling a lot lately across different countries. things are harder than we presumed but we're getting by. jean's asking if you've made any female friends but you don't have to answer that. connie says he misses captain but won't admit that to him. we hope captain levi's doing fine with his recovery, i really wish we can visit you both as soon as possible and express our gratitude to the two of you. until then, please wait for us.
- armin arlert
you chuckled at the last paragraph, feeling warm at your chest at the letter that you were tearing up. you missed them too, after all you've seen them grow and treated them like they were your children even when they caused trouble often.
folding the paper back into the envelope, you reached for a pen and paper laying on the counter so you can write back to them, fingers working to grab the items when you felt a presence behind you, arms snaking around your waist.
you tensed, fighting instincts making you move in reflex to push the unknown presence off but you were locked in place, the strong arms around your figure restraining your movements.
"it's me," levi whispered, chin resting on your shoulder as he let out a deep breath in content. you gasped in shock, "you could've hurt yourself levi! how many times do i have to tell you not to force yourself to walk!"
"tch," he muttered, nuzzling his nose into your neck. "so noisy."
you frowned. "did you have another nightmare? i'm sorry i wasn't-"
"i didn't. in fact, it was one of the best sleep i've had in a while. i woke up because you weren't next to me."
you relaxed into his hold, resting your back against his chest and leaning your head a little to the side to give him more room. "sorry, i wanted a drink."
"'s fine," he said softly, breathing against your neck that sent a shiver up and down your spine. "you're here."
the corner of your lips curled upwards, missing this side of levi that you hadn't seen or felt for a few weeks. "want some tea?"
he hummed, "in the morning."
"i'm writing back a letter to armin. is there anything you wanna say to them?" you straightened out the paper before beginning to write the words flowing in your head, waiting for levi's response.
"tell them they're still brats and that they should stop causing trouble."
you laughed heartily, shaking your head lightly in amusement. it was nice to have levi like this, his usual self that didn't have to face his demons for a while. he stayed still while you wrote the letter, feeling his soft breathing against your skin that you believed he fell asleep again.
"i'm sorry," he said suddenly, making you stop writing. "you must've been having a hard time. i shouldn't have put you through that."
your brows furrowed at his words, heart sinking into your stomach at the idea that he thought he was being a burden to you all this time. he wasn't and he'll never be a burden to you.
turning around, your hand rest on his chest, his arms on your waist pulling you closer to his body that you had to lean back a little to see his face.
"don't apologize, levi and don't think that way, hm? i want to be with you always through thick and thin and i know for sure that it's harder for you than it is for me," you said, rubbing soothingly at this chest.
the sadness in levi's eyes are visibly strong while a frown formed his mouth.
"why'd you stay?" his voice was low. "i'm beaten down, i have ugly scars, and i keep giving you a hard time when you should be out there exploring and enjoying the world. you deserve so much better than to be stuck here with me."
"levi," your voice broke, barely above a whisper as you feel your heart sink to the ground at his words. to you, he was everything - the sole reason why you chose to keep fighting and surviving even when every inch of your soul craved to give up, he was your strength, hope, and light in the darkness of paradis. tilting his face towards you, you search his eyes, trying to get him to look at you.
"i don't care about what i'm missing out there as long as you're by my side. i'd rather be stuck here with you than be away from you, levi. i deserve you and i'm not going anywhere without you next to me." your eyes water as you unhesitatingly pour out your heart and soul for him. you're full of desperation to make reach into his heart and make him feel just how much he meant to you. that he was more than his scars, looks, and title.
until now, he is still your everything - the reason why you're grateful you survived and still alive, he was the reason of your desire to keep living and dreaming; dreaming of a future together and living the rest of your lives with each other. there was nothing in this world that you'd trade for levi, may it be the richest of gold or the brightest diamond. levi ackerman was worth more than anything this world could offer.
"i'm here because i love you," you said softly, levi's lower lip trembling as he held his own tears back. "and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. you'll always be beautiful to me and no matter what happens, you will never change in my eyes."
a quiet sob left his chest, head falling to rest against yours, bringing your faces closer. hands moving around his neck, you soothingly rub at his nape, admiring him even at the proximity.
"thank you," he whispered. "for not dying. for staying and not leaving me alone."
unable to hold back anymore, a tear ran down his right cheek and you quickly wiped it away, thumb grazing over his scar. the scars that symbolized the pain he has endured. signifying that levi, despite the notion of him being apathetic and cold-hearted, was human too. pain was no exception to him, in fact, it was like his best friend; watching and enduring the loss of his family, comrades, and friends until it seemed like he became desensitized. but above all, it was a representation of his strength and humanity.
"you'll always have me, levi." you tilted his chin, getting him to look you in the eyes. "even when you tell me i'm annoying and too clingy, i'm not going anywhere."
"tch." he chuckled, lips turning upward into a smirk. "such a brat as always."
you giggled, chest turning warm.
"will you still love me even when i'm old and not as attractive?"
"yes."
"even on days when i'm grumpier than usual?"
"yes. even on those days."
"even if i can't give you the family you deserve?" his expression turned serious, sadness evident in his eyes at the question.
"yes," you answered without a second thought, staring intently into his eyes to show him you how much you meant it. "you're more enough for me, levi."
features softening, his hand reached to your cheek while the other pushed your body against his as he met your lips, kissing you softly and passionately. it was his silent proof of just how much he loves you and how grateful he was that you were still in front of him, alive and breathing. even though you were turning into a puddle from the way he kissed you lovingly. contented, you sighed into the kiss.
"i love you," he said, planting a gentle peck on your lips before pulling away, leaving you leaning in for more.
you could care less about the world. your world was right in front you, holding you in his arms and gazing at you with loving eyes.
you smiled, "i love you too."
3 years later
gabi’s brows were furrowed deeply they almost reached, glaring intensely at falco over a disagreement that levi, although finding it amusing, feared that the boy would suddenly poof into thin air.
“yellow is too bright, falco! can you try imaging it first before actually suggesting it?” she snarled, turning her focus to the notebook and scribbling whatever.
falco glanced at him for help, levi shrugging and deciding to leave it to them, not really liking the thought of being at the receiving end of gabi’s temper.
“uh, how about green?”
“i said light colors,” she said through gritted teeth. “light.”
a smirk forming his lips, levi found the sight entertaining as he observed the dynamic relationship of the two. during one of your nightly cuddles, you told levi your dream of running a business with him one day and since he made it his dream to make you happy for the rest of your life, he brought up the idea of opening a tea shop together; happiness filling him when you lit up in excitement.
gabi and falco were just as excited which was why they have been deliberately planning (and arguing) over the interior and exterior design of yours and levi’s soon to be tea shop, raising their voices occasionally and earning a few looks from your neighbors.
levi watched you from a distance as you bought some snacks, a sweet and friendly smile grazing your lips while conversating with the lady. he can’t help but smile too, falling in love with you like it was the first time.
“stop staring, it’s weird.” gabi raised a brow at him.
“she’s my girlfriend, i can stare all i want.”
“well, marry her first.” she sighed, putting down her pen.
levi faced the two, stripping his gaze from you who was slowly walking back to them. “i will,” he said, patting at his pants’ pocket lightly where he kept the ring he bought a few days ago.
their eyes widened, the two exchanging a knowing look before turning back to him, mouth agape and no words leaving their mouth.
“you impatient brats better shut up.” he warned, greeting you with a warm smile when you came back, placing the bread and biscuits on the table before sitting next to levi.
“how’s it going?” you asked, entwining your hand with levi’s.
falco blinked twice, elbowing gabi to make her snap out of her own surprise, levi narrowing his eyes at them which went unnoticed by you. “uh.. it’s... it’s great!” falco beamed, chuckling nervously.
“i have something to tell you later,” levi said, voice low compared to gabi’s as they resumed with planning.
you hummed as an ‘okay’, giggling at him before listening in on the conversation of the two. levi could feel his heart pounding against his chest, staring at your entwined hands as he contained himself from putting the ring on your finger right this instant.
summary: kageyama tobio loves you even when you rip him apart.
genre: angst
warning(s): cheating, implied sex but it's reaaally tiny you won't even notice
a/n: just something short to fight my writer's block - i have a few works sitting in my drafts but cant finish them yet bc writers block is mean :( ps i do not condone cheating, this is purely for the plot
kageyama tobio loves you so much he is willing to give up everything for you. anything you want he'll get them for you even if he has to go through the ends of the earth searching for them. he loves you so much he doesn't care if you finish the cartons of milk in the fridge. he loves you so much he'd even give up volleyball if you ask him to.
kageyama also loves you so much that he ignores the scent of another man's perfume lingering on your skin and clothes. he pretends not to notice that you've been coming home later than usual, coming home to an empty apartment which was usually lit up and smelled like popcorn as you watch movies on netflix.
you still lovingly smile at him like before, the laugh he loves to hear still the same, and your hugs and kisses still as passionate and comforting as if you aren't giving them to another man. kageyama basks in your touch, wanting to keep you by his side, a sickening feeling in his guts at the thought that you might one day decide to leave him.
he loves you too much to pretend he's okay when you ask him. he knows you notice the way his hugs have become tighter, kisses become more desperate, marks on your body as he bites at your delicately soft skin more than usual.
"do you love me?" he asks, leaving wet kisses on your neck, making you sigh in content and move closer to him, pressing your back against his bare chest.
"of course, tobio," you hum.
"only me?"
your eyes flutter open, turning around to face him as you place a hand on his cheek, a worried look painting your features when looking at his somber blue eyes.
"yes baby," you say, but he knows it's a lie. "just you."
"i love you," kageyama whispers, tightening his grip on your waist as he fights against his breaking heart and his tears, his world crumbling into pieces.
you smile sweetly, caressing his cheek. "love you too, tobio."
for now, he forces himself to believe in your lies and to pretend everything is okay. he convinces himself you'll eventually come back to him as a whole and by then he'll accept you willingly with open arms because he just loves you.
kageyama tobio just loves you too much to still stay even when you're cheating. even when it rips him apart inside.
rbs and feedbacks r appreciated stay safe babes <3
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