Hi, I would like some tips on how to write a romantic relationship between two characters with ASPD. They both have problems with controlling their emotions, aggression in particular, and they both can't admit their mistakes. I like this idea and would like to hear your ideas on this topic.
Hi, thanks for asking! ^^
So you'll of course have to adjust this depending on the type of society you're writing and what defines your characters outside of ASPD and all that jazz, but with that dynamic, I'd say you might be doing it well if you:
• write explosive conflicts, since trouble controlling emotions, especially if its on both sides, will absolutely clash and cause emotionally loaded arguments! screaming, getting verbally nasty, getting physically nasty...all works! triggers should be sort of related to trauma/bad experiences or just stuff that overwhelms them in general? vulnerability/intimacy or lack thereof setting off arguments works rather well too actually!
• if they both cant outright admit their mistakes, you could have them show it in others ways, such as bringing the other person something they like, doing something they said they wouldn't do, doing something sorta reckless to make up for it, etc.
• it would potentially also work well if you have them defend each other rather passionately? the typa "having to hold them back by the jacket to keep them from jumping the person who made fun of their partner" vibe? cus rare bonds aka that person means something to you and volatile emotions, will mix into boiling over and wanting to defend what was threatened I guess?
• if they aren't the type to show affection via words or whatever, you can write their love in the sort of way, where they go out of their way to keep certain symptoms at bay for the other person? or where they offer to be the relief for the other persons symptoms...that works too
• I suppose you could probably also write conflicts/problems into this, where the solution is hella easy and it could be solved in seconds, if only they actually talked to each other and were able to be a bit vulnerable!
• Depending on whether or not they're actively engaging in breaking the law, you can have them be the "lets break shit together, we thrive in being freely us" type of couple? Where they kinda fuel each others symptoms, where they are sorta toxic and either push each other over the edge, or save each other from falling down
• I'll be honest, the first thing that actually popped in my head here is: hate sex. lots of hate sex.
Thats just what I can think of right now, it will depend on what other symptoms/characteristics they have, what you aspire for their character development, etc! Have you ever read "Kiss the Villain" by Rina Kent? One character from the main couple has pretty much canon ASPD and the other is sorta ASPD coded (imo) and they both sort of struggle with this stuff? Well or "Sick Bargain" by Nordika Night, which is a toxic love where they find comfort in sickness, if thats the vibe you're going for. I felt those two relationships represent best how I feel about my own ASPD (tho they arent perfect ofc and not free from ableism).
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