There are moments in life, of realization, passion, inspiration, sadness, breakdown, love, moments of utter silence, so deep that you can almost touch it, those moments leaves lasting impressions, they seep in to our unconscious and breaks us to remake us constantly. I always have one question, why we all have to go through this constant cycle of birth and death, some say there is no cycle at all, its just this life and then, nothing, no journey ahead, its just this life, but this idea never resonated with me, the consciousness particularly never dies, I have always believed this, because for once, only for once I have felt it, in one of the deepest sleeps of mine, that I was awake somewhere inside, in that darkness, I had awareness, that's when I got what Krishna is saying in Geeta when he says that a Yogi never sleeps, even when he sleeps he remains concious the flame inside keeps burning, only once in my life I have felt it, accidentally, when I wasn't even searching for it, that's how it happens, suddenly. Ever since I have been trying to experience it again, but now you see my point, I can't ever get there, now the trying will make the hindrance for me, that's how life plays with you, it gives you a glimpse of salvation, redemption, freedom, bliss, whatever you call it, and makes you chase it, get it whole, the concept of trying is psychologically associated with the upbringing we get that you won't get anything for free, you won't get it just laying there in front of you, you have to work hard, you have to have passion and ambition and what not to get what you want, and the path to nothingness is just entirely opposite of what we learn throughout our life, its laughable and stupid, and its the truth.
