conversations: a short story
That night, the sky was full of stars.
He and I, wet sat beside each other. Hand on hand. On a rooftop of our favorite café. Where we could hide for a while, where there would be only ourselves and our stories. And sometimes some good old tunes were playing.
We talked about lives. His, mine and the possibilities of ours.
We were pretty much talking about things we already talked about. We were just repeating things again and again. About how we met, songs we loved the most and telling the same jokes over and over again. Just like Pet Shop Boys’ song, ‘we were never being boring…’
“Hey, do you love me?” he asked me, out of the blue. With his eyes shining so bright, he glanced right through my eyes. Like he was ready to eat me whole.
“Can we stay like this forever?”
Well, that was something I could not answer, to be honest. Forever was a word too strong to be said. And anything could turn into promises and I didn’t want to say something that I was not sure myself.
Back to the term of feelings… My heart knew so well that I did really want to stay like that forever. To always have that feeling, so good it almost hurts. I wanted to stay in love with that man, I wanted to always be sure that only death could tear us apart. I wanted to believe in those stuffs. But it was delusional. You can never get what you want even if you want to. Things would never turn to be the one you hoped it would be.
We knew what we felt was wrong. We knew it deeply.
But as he ever said to me, “Hey if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” If only the working of this world was as simple as it sounded.
“You know you are still my favorite of all and you should leave it at that.” I stroked his wavy hair and look right through his eyes behind that decent specs.
I don’t want a clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are
Billy Joel’s Just The Way You Are was playing. That night felt so serene and warm. Being near him was always that nice.
He was the kind of man I always dreamt of, or at least that was I felt back then. We could talk about anything, really, anything. We could talk non-stop. Talking about our days, talking about things that matter and things that don’t matter. Telling lame jokes without feeling stupid about it. Singing to favorite tunes and relate it to our lives.
Sometimes you meet a person and you just click—you’re comfortable with them, like you’ve known them your whole life, and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone or anything. And he was that kind of person – for me.
I always love the idea of being the reason of someone listening to certain song. Be someone that he remembers every time he listens to that song.
“What song that reminds you of me?” I asked him.
“Just one specific song that always popped in your head.”
“Hmmm, The Radio Dept.’s Always a Relief.”
“Because, it’s always a relief to see you again. And, hey it was the first song that was played on my car when I took you home. Don’t you remember?”
“Of course I do.” I like how him remember small details about our meeting.
“And how about yours? What song that reminds you of me?”
“Hey! That’s a cheat!” He pinched my check softly. “Tell me!”
“Neon Rainbow of The Box Tops.”
“Why? We never listen to that song together.”
“Yeah, I know. But that song always reminds me of the first magical ride with you. Remember that random night we drove on that highway just because we couldn’t decide where to go and we ended up eating at convenient store near my place? That night was so beautiful as I saw it from highway. All those buildings with its pretty lights… They looked like neon rainbow to me.”
“Yeah… It was beautiful night in a random way.” He laughed. “You know what, I’ve been thinking of this nickname for you.”
“Because, I don’t know. I don’t mean to compare you to all the girls I’ve ever dated. No girls like to be compared, I know. But you know, it’s like all things that was great in those girls, compiled into one person… and it is you. All the things I like from all the girls I ever dated, they became one as you. Not to say that you reminded me of my past, but… it’s just, you made of all the good things in life.”
That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And that was the sweetest nickname that someone ever gave to me.
It was like destiny made his way to ours. The way we met was just unpredictable. The way he popped out of the blue that night. Wearing that blue shirt. I fell in love instantly the moment we shook our hands. The way he looked at me was … I don’t know how to put it into words. This might sound cheesy, but… the way he looked at me was really magical.
And then we met again the second time at that 24-hour burger joint. We talked until midnight. Talk about basic stuff. Like, revealing our favorite things, favorite bands and movies and I lent him one of my favorite books. He drank Cola and I drank milk tea. He wore his favorite jacket jeans and I wore my ugly tees.
Midnights were made for us to say things we couldn’t say in the daylights.
One night, right before 3 AM he confessed his feeling.
“Well, I do feel the same.”
That was all I could say.
Hearts couldn’t lie and being honest wasn’t that bad.
Now it was all turned into memories.
No more Sunday-Bookstore-and-Record store-Visits. No more eating spaghetti in a sleepy-face-cook-restaurant. No more cuddling, no more singing, no more laughing to the lame jokes. Well, all in all, no more us.
It was brief but magical.
We spent our days being happy, we talked, we didn’t care about anything else but us. We didn’t give shit about what revolves around us. We didn’t care what people talk. We only knew that our love was true. It was months of adventure.
But now, things are different. We turned into strangers. He lives his life and I live mine. Love is a funny thing you know, you felt that it was so real and you thought you would die to live without that certain person, but then one day, you woke up feeling nothing about him. Like, the feeling was vanished just like that. And you can look at that person with nothing at all. Like, you often wonder, “How did I end up loving this man?” well, love is funny. Life is funny.
kaledo-art
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
