It doesn't take a genius to notice, there's not a lot of happy on here. The only thing you see makes up your perception of what you believe to be all that there is. That's okay, you're not to blame. That doesn't make it any true though, one dimensional as it is. Come to think of it, I wouldn't call my own correct either, you'd except it to be, having lived my life and all. But my view is a little biased, tilted by the weight of everything I've ever felt, the things that have kept me up at night, the thoughts that have rattled my brain, the culmination of all my experiences that have led me to this exact moment. They all contribute to what I associate as right or wrong. Imperfect, it may be, but I'll still hold my perception (of me) over yours, or any other power on God's green (at least it used to be)Â earth.
Coming back to the happy, fret not, it's there. It's just a little bit harder to document, considering, the fleeting moments that do come by, I would prefer to give them my undivided attention, frequent as they used to be, occasional as they are now. I'm afraid if I stop paying mind, they'll stop visiting all together. The negative, unlike it's much preferred antonym, has a nasty way of being not so fleeting. It seems to get stuck in the drenches of our soul, the pits of our stomach, the hollow of our minds. Always overshadowing, always aching, always questioning. It's almost all too easy, holding onto things like these, which logically speaking is utterly ridiculous, you'd expect to want to dispense such garbage as it comes, not recycle it into your nights to gargle up in your mornings. It's the good that we should reinvest into ourselves, and yet, why're we all so keen on chasing the absurd?
I'll tell you why, maybe it’s the age, or the places we're geographically stuck in, or the holes we've dug and convinced ourselves we can't get out of. But we tend to tie our hopes and expectations to other people, unreliable people. Come on. Give them some room, they're hardly managing figuring themselves out, don't count on them to give you the time of day, day after day. Associate your feelings to the things within your control, refocus your faith into yourself, the things that matter to you. You wanna get out of the dirt? Get your hands dirty and get to work.