rating: T | tags: soft middle-of-the-night happenings, cuddles, banter, domesticity
shane wakes in the night needing to pee. ilya is cuddling him from behind, one arm cushioning shane's neck and the other weighing down the dip of shane's waist, their legs criss-crossing and tangled in blankets. shane is loathe to move, but his bladder is full and insistent and he knows he won't be able to fall back asleep without dealing with it. so he begins the awful process of disentangling himself from ilya — unhooking an ankle from ilya's calf, removing a leg from between ilya's legs, lifting ilya's arm from his stomach. he does it all painstakingly slowly, not wanting to wake ilya, but his efforts prove futile. he's barely shifted away from ilya when he hears ilya inhale behind him, feels him stir.
sleepy hum, then, "shane?"
ilya's voice just woken up is like a dream. shane feels warm listening to it. the deep timbre of it. he finishes returning ilya's arm to him, though ilya seems unwilling to accept it, and looks over his shoulder as he does. in the dark he can make out only the broadest features of ilya's form—the bulk of his torso and the indistinct smudge of his soft curls. shane reaches in that direction and caresses his head briefly.
"just gonna go to the bathroom."
ilya grunts and sighs in one go, unhappy. shane leaves the bed. he shuts the en-suite door behind him quickly, not wanting the light to spill out for too long. the bathroom is blinding and cold after the bed and ilya's arms; shane rushes through his business, eager to return to both. before he comes back out he shuts the light off through a crack in the door.
as he approaches the bed again the slightly deeper dark of ilya's sleeping form moves. shane discerns a hand reaching out to him.
"come here," ilya mumbles. he sounds like half his mouth is squashed against the pillow. shane smiles, unseen by anyone. he begins climbing back in next to ilya, ducking under his outstretched arm.
"did you wait up for me?" he asks, settling onto his side facing ilya and pulling the blankets back over his lower half. ilya's arm comes around him, palm against his shoulder blades, and brings him in. shane snakes his arms around ilya's middle.
"yes," ilya says. "you take longest pisses in the fucking world."
"shut up, i take normal pisses." shane says this into ilya's neck, where the skin is thin and warm, and his heartbeat bumps up against shane's lips. all shane has to do is purse his lips to kiss him. he does. "you thought it was long because you missed me."
"yes," ilya says simply. shane lets ilya feel his smile. ilya shimmies down the bed a little, so shane's head is tucked more snugly between his chin and his shoulder, then slings one of his legs over both of shane's like a massive koala. shane really hopes he won't need to pee again until morning. ilya kisses shane's hair in several different places, quick and affectionate. mwah, mwah, mwah. then he settles down with a sigh.
"comfortable?" he asks. his voice is all around shane. shane hums.
"very comfortable."
"sleep?"
"sleep," shane agrees.
they do.
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A compilation of inherently BOY things I think Ilya does during his first time at the cottage that fundamentally ruin his cool-guy image for Shane in the most endearing way possible:
- Ilya’s first sunburn, which is Very Bad. His are all cheeks all flushed and he’s walking funny and hissing through his teeth as he pushes on the reddened skin as it turns yellow. He yelps any time Shane tries to touch it, which is all the time because it’s funny and also because he likes touching Ilya.
- Shane catches a little sunfish off the end of the dock and puts it in a bucket full of water and Ilya sits in a Slavic squat in front of that bucket for hours on the dock watching the fish swim around. He’s sticking his hand in there to try and touch it and making embarrassing noises and jerking his hand away when he does manage to brush a finger along the scales. Until Shane tells him it needs to be released at some point and then Ilya is insisting on being the one to do it.
- Utterly failing at water skiing, with Shane trying to give tips while David drives the boat. Full on face of water, sputtering eating-shit so many times but insisting on going again, because Shane can do it so Ilya will do it too.
- Not tying up his shorts tight enough the first time David takes them tubing (despite his calm demeanour, once David has a tube behind his boat he drives like a maniac) and Ilya almost loses his shorts, white booty out. Shane can’t help but smack his ass and cackle as Ilya tries desperately to hold onto the tube handle with one hand and his shorts (that are around his knees) with the other while they continue to fly across the water.
- Ilya trying to dive off the dock in a life jacket because Shane told him it was impossible and now of course he has to try.
- Ilya in a life jacket in general.
- Ilya with a mosquito bite. Itching itching itching while Shane slaps at his hands and tells him to stop. It’s gets all red and raised bump, and Ilya’s kind of self conscious but he still can’t stop scratching and cursing mosquitos as he does. But then Shane’s pressing a careful thumbnail into an X over the bite and Ilya’s fascinated by another way he can be close to Shane.
- Ilya on the dock, on his stomach watching a spider eat a bug in its web for an undetermined amount of time. He’s narrating for Shane with a slightly disgusted but fascinated tinge to his voice who is suntanning beside him, sunglasses on.
- Ilya in the marsh trying to catch a frog after David explains how Shane used to do it all the time. He’s finally got one, calling Shane’s name with so much excitement and a frog cupped between his hands. Of course it’s the largest fugliest frog in the marsh so then they’re both crouched down, staring into Ilya cupped palms arguing about whether or not the frog is cute (Ilya says it is, Shane says it’s ugly)
- Ilya with a leech from the marsh stuck onto his ankle. He’s actually Losing His Shit about this one. freaky, disgusting, Canadian blood sucker. Why the fuck would they even have these things in the lake. Shane has to pull it off. Obviously he lets Ilya chase him around the property throwing his ankle towards Shane screaming “get it off, Shane! Get it off!” before he has Ilya sit on a sun chair and performs leech surgery on his ankle while Ilya whimpers (non-sexily).
Sincerely, someone who grew up with a Canadian family cottage.
people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):
various dentists
hotel housekeeping staff
the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)
cleaners and laundry service employees
a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?
Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella
the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game
employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"
one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job
Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood
the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain
the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV
This is Luca Haas and no one can convince me otherwise 🙂↕️ Ilya sees this and immediately takes him shopping. “Shopping for what?” “Cool stuff, Shane, you wouldn’t understand. Come on, Haasy.”
they’re doing one of those fun videos interviews with the communications intern. the guys walking through the tunnel before hitting the ice and drawing question from a cup the intern is holding. shane picks one and reads it out loud “if you could spend a day with anyone in the world, who would it be?” and he doesn’t even hesitate “i already do that” and the intern is like “wait what do you mean?” and shane gestures vaguely in ilya’s direction and ilya that was right behind him with troy and others centaurs, just open the biggest grin on his face and all the guys start groaning and booing cus they’re disgustingly in love and can never be normal about each other
I know it’s been said to death but. God I love Shane Hollander and his autism.
I love that he’s allowed to be socially adept and funny and quick witted and sarcastic and empathetic.
I love that his autism is written into moments where he misses subtext, or speaks with a bit of a blank face and monotone.
I love that he’s allowed to be sexual. I love that he’s not just okay with sex, but actively seeks it out, absolutely loves it and is treated like an autonomous sexual being with internality and nuance with sex and intimacy.
I love that he’s not any clear cut, offensive autistic archetype. The closest thing you could assign him to is savant, and even that doesn’t really fit. Shane is so good at hockey because he devotes every day of his life to it, he’s not just magically gifted math hockey powers.
I love that Shane has an overpowering special interest, but it’s not the only thing in his life. I love that he’s fascinated with real estate, that he’s close with his parents and teammates.
I love that he’s allowed to have food or sensory restrictions that don’t manifest as a public breakdown but instead as a preference for ginger ale, soft clothing and a clean house to the casual eye.
I love that he’s shown to have restricted thinking sometimes (being unable to consider coming out, cooking the extra burgers) without him being reduced to a child, unable to communicate or compromise.
I love that his moments of autistic meltdown or overwhelm don’t just look like screaming and crying, but instead as a shutdown at his parents table, or a sharp exit from the Wrong situation, like after the tunamelt.
I love that his autistic moments (like folding the clothes before sex, cooking the extra burgers) are treated by both the directing and other characters as funny and adorable without being infantilised.
I love that Ilya loves Shane so much, not despite his autistic traits, but because of them. I love that Ilya thinks Shane is so adorable and sweet, without it ever compromising how much Ilya also sees Shane as sexy, competent and intelligent.
okay but like shane is such a cutie patootie. he does cutie patootie things. he loves cuddles and he loves petting ilya’s soft curls, loves looking at his pretty ilya. loves holding hands with his ilya. loves stealing his soft big hoodies and cotton tees. loves wearing his own short shorts cause he knows they make his butt look cute. checks himself out in the mirror sometimes. loves making breakfast smoothies for his man, making sure his man is all bundled up on a cold day and making sure he’s wearing his swim shoes in the lake. likes fussing a little cause that’s his man. loves surprising ilya with a candle lit movie night and soft blankets. getting his beautiful man some flowers whenever. carrying his beautiful man’s bags. treating ilya so soft and sweet ilya doesn’t know what to do with himself. thinks ilya deserves only the softest and nicest and prettiest things the world has to offer.
after retirement Yuna tries to convince Shane and Ilya into doing dancing with the stars and while she does not convince Shane she does get Ilya to agree so guess who’s that years winner of the mirror ball trophy
