Shatukite Eyes

🏳️‍🌈 Demimasc, Asexual & Panromantic 💗Solitary witch 💜 Dacian Descendent 🐺 Autism + ADHD 🖤 Neurodivergent INFP 🧛

[shatukite-eyes]

As of the end of May 2022 I've decided that, for the time being, I will mainly post about how I started re-discovering myself after my Autism diagnosis. This post is to be a list of those posts for easier access:

#1 Body temperature

#2 Friendships part 1

To be continued...

[leac-art]

You cannot go wrong with the toad + mushrooms combo 🐸 Etsy Instagram

[upyrica]

Ukrainian feminine headdress 

Українські жіночі головні убори

[maureen2musings]

…

gratefully_sarah

[city-cost]

Tokyo Skytree marked 10 years since its opening to the public on Sunday. It was a gorgeous day for the celebrations and for a stroll around the shitamachi streets nearby.

[shatukite-eyes]

What do you think of Joyofsatan.org? They claim to follow the Sumerian God Enki-Satan and they’ve become the largest Satanist group in the world.

Unfortunately, I know nothing about it, so I'm unable to form an opinion related to it. I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better answer at this time.

[shatukite-eyes]

Never thought that sharing any of my thinking, experiences, thoughts here would make me wanna go back to my "safe cave" for a few weeks. But here I am, and probably I'll be gone again a few days, but hey, at least I left a long ass post to read for anyone interested.

Either way, this is a good exercise.

[shatukite-eyes]

My self discovery after ASD diagnosis #2

Friendships -part 1-

🚨 if you think you might have autism/are diagnosed/have someone around you who (jokingly or not) has said they might be autistic, please do read this post. As boring as it may seem, it might be helping someone in some way 🚨

I didn't think that it would take me a couple of weeks, if not more, to write a second post of this series, but here I am.

As a disclaimer, I want to say that what I wrote is my own experience, and not a way to tell other people who are on the Autism spectrum that what I say is any type of rule. That being said, let's dive into the subject that consumed a fair part of my life so far.

I cannot distinguish between friendship and love. Maybe this is the time to mention that I am Demisexual (a.k.a. if the person doesn't hit my button, my attraction is in no way or form sexual, at all).

I remember my mom telling me that I get emotionally involved way too deeply for "just friends". At the same time, my dad always told me that I "expect too much and feel too deep" about friendships as I was growing up. But for me, friends to be a part of my life have to have a certain purpose. I've never made a friend just because that person was what society calls as "nice". I had zero feelings toward nice. I needed deep, now and mind-blowing factors to consider a person "worthy" of my energy and focus.

When I say "worthy" I do not mean it in a superior way, like "I am better than you, but you intrigue me so you got my attention". No. "Worthy" for me means someone who reciprocates the depth of my interests and openness towards mamy "crazy" things.

Frienship "worthy" for me means "fuck small talk, tell me how that memory you've just shared made you feel inside without embellishing anything, just being honest no matter how weird or crazy it sounds".

I've always been out of touch with how society thinks that friendship talk should go like, always unable to understand any of it, but if you share deep psychological details, thoughts and reactions, and you've got me listening, learning and sharing as much as I can understand about that situation from my perspective, and going forward to supporting and discovering more with you.

But, this wasn't a thing in primary school, not in middle school either. In high school some wanted to be all that, but couldn't sustain that thinking and attitude. In university everyone cared about having fun, friends with benefits, getting a job, complaining about daily life issues, etc. At the job I got the ppl who already either had a marriage and kids to worry about, or the ones in 3-5-7 years relationships and only talking about getting high at parties.

In my 30s I started actually looking at myself, my issues, my emotions and that is what got me here to getting diagnosed with Autism.

Now, untill this age I had my share of a few friends. I say a few because I'm not able to sustain friendships with more than 3 people at a time, 3 being already too much. Why? Because it takes me years to discover a person, to get used to them, to understand them and to find their place in my life.

If anyone got to this point reading, prepare to either understand or be disappointed. Friends, for me, have each a different role in my life. No 2 friends of mine, in my 34 years of life, have ever had the same role. No one gets the role someone else had, because... that was someone else. I cannot put two people in the same role because there are no two humans who are completely and perfectly the same. Therefore, I cannot do the "better one" or the "replacement one" shit that I've seen some people do in their lives.

That being said, most people think it's amazing not to be thought as a replacement for someone else, but fulfilling a certain role in my mind is considered rude by them.

For me each person in my life has to have:

1. a useful role for me to benefit from

and

2. a life, mood, attitude and way of thinking that I can work with in supporting, listening, helping, and generally contributing to their life in a way that actually helps them.

----------

I will end this 1st part about Friendships from an Autistic person's point of view, because it is already a lot to read and digest. I also need time to accomodate with how much of my personal thinking I've shared in this post.

I will start my next post about this subject with the last few paragraphs from this one, for it to make sense.

[windvexer]

Discernment: Let's Chat About It

My takes are below. Would love to hear more :)

Discernment, to discern = perceiving or recognizing something

Discernment is often presented or implied to be a magical or spiritual skill which allows a magical practitioner to accurately sense and interpret spirits/energies/gods/etc.

But is it?

Discernment is a mundane skill.

For me, the most important concept of discernment is that it's not inherently magical.

Discernment itself is literally just, "ah, I have perceived something." Have you ever played that little game where you look at two similar pictures and find the differences between them? That's an exercise in discernment - developing the ability to recognize what is present or not present.

In the witchblr, discernment usually automatically means discerning something spiritual. This is done through the faculty of psychic senses. Psychism provides sensory input. But just like my eyes can look at the picture game and fail to discern differences, I can be receiving psychic input and fail to discern it.

I don't think just having psychic senses is automatically "discernment."

The other day I was doing a reading for a friend. I tapped in to an intensely emotional thread of energy. I felt totally consumed by this emotion - and I also had no idea why it was happening, where it came from, or what was going on.

I would not have been able to detect this emotional energy unless I had psychic senses.

But at the same time, I totally failed to discern what was going on and what was happening to me. I wasn't able to recognize what was going on; I had no insight into the situation.

I think when people talk about discernment, they are talking about an intersection of both having psychic skills, AND being able to to interpret psychic input accurately.

As another example, over the years I have met amazing psychics and mediums with incredible natural talent. In one situation, a person I knew with spectacular raw skill was conversing with a malicious spirit. This spirit had shown, in my opinion, many obvious signs that they were malevolent. However, the psychic believed that the spirit was their true guide; they were unable to discern any malicious intent.

When I sought out the counsel of a friend with limited psychic skills, but a lot of discernment, that friend was able to immediately point out all the ways this spirit was presenting as malicious.

(If I have known you in the past and you think this might be about you: this exact scenario has happened to me like 10 times so there is a good chance it is not).

The psychic skills part of discernment is something you have to practice & build up to get better at it.

The good news is that you can practice to get better at it. It's under your direct control: if you have the time and energy, significant progress can be made in a relatively short amount of time (I'm talking months, not hours my friends).

There are a great deal of exercises and undertakings you can do to develop psychic senses. There are a heck of a lot of books out there that teach people to tap in to their natural psychism.

Almost all exercises which seek to engage with, feel, and understand energy and spirits will develop this center. I wrote this post about how to start communication if you don't feel like leaving Tumblr.

Resources include:

The Complete Guide to Psychic Development by Cassandra Eason

Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn

Inner Temple of Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak

IMO, a large part of the 'wisdom & application' part of discernment is only going to come through personal development & experience.

This personal development can come through stuff like reading and talking to people doing the kind of work you want to do. IME a very great help is to develop a relationship with a helper spirit who will be able to act as a mentor and guide. But I also think its something that just gets better as you try to become a discerning person.

I don't know if it's as easy to just practice being wise (as one can practice a psychic game). Detecting energies in the moment doesn't necessarily tell you if, in a complex situation, they will end up being good or bad six months down the line. I don't know if I'm over-complicating this aspect, but I do feel as if its something that takes longer to develop.

I do think interpreting information, and then knowing the best course of action once an interpretation is made, is different from being able to gather information. I think that "discernment," as we talk about it in the blr, rests at the intersection between knowledge and wisdom.

I think a majority of people who are confused about discernment and don't know 'where to start' should try studying & developing personal psychism. These "extra senses" are how we gain input from otherworlds.

But I also don't think it's right to promote discernment as purely being about psychic sensing. I think we have to accept that people with psychism can be confused, mislead, or manipulated just like everyone else.

[ex0skeletal-undead]

dg // gouache painting on paper by Dusty Ray Slop Art

This artist on Instagram // Etsy

[crazycatsiren]

Much thanks to the most amazing LadySpeech Sankofa, "heal your shit" has become a personal motto of mine.

[shatukite-eyes]

The things I could do, on a daily basis, without my mental issues: 100✨

The things I can do, in a lifetime, during me life being my real self, without a mask, respecting my boundaries, focusing on healing my ptsd no matter how long it takes: 1 + ♾️ possibilities.

I choose the second option an ♾️ out of 100 times.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[coffee-scripts]

I drown in my own thoughts

[sosuperawesome]

Simz Art on Instagram / Tumblr / Patreon

[traegorn]

Just maybe, before making large public declarative statements about something, consider looking up something about it first instead of just relying on something that one person whose full background you don't know told you one time on the internet?

[thewindowofthesummerhouse]

Loputyn