whether or not men benefit from feminism has no bearing on whether feminism is worthwhile
put another way. i dont care about how men are impacted by feminism
Today's Document
AnasAbdin
Claire Keane
trying on a metaphor
Peter Solarz
hello vonnie

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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe
will byers stan first human second
Sweet Seals For You, Always
styofa doing anything
seen from United States
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@she-homo
whether or not men benefit from feminism has no bearing on whether feminism is worthwhile
put another way. i dont care about how men are impacted by feminism
This makes objective and intuitive sense if you think about it. A woman is born with all of the eggs she'll ever have, and those eggs resist mitochondrial aging at the cellular level throughout her lifetime. The eggs in a woman's ovaries are actually even older than that - if you're a woman, when your grandmother was carrying your mother as a fetus in her uterus, the egg that would become you was already inside of your mother's body as a tiny egg, which formed while she was still being carried by your grandmother before birth.
Males, on the other hand, don't start producing spermatocytes until puberty. They're continuously reformed throughout their life, meaning sperm are much more susceptible to genetic decay, environmental factors, damage, etc. As usual, most everything men say about women is projection whether they know it or not.
The fact that so many people feel comfortable using the r-word nowadays is alarming. You're not edgy or cool for using it. Even in lesbian feminist circles women are using it more, because disability isn't taken as seriously or seen as important. Disabled people are treated as a burden and lesser in every movement; when we object to ableist language, we are dismissed and talked down to.
Just know, your disabled friends are quietly watching and taking note.
Okay and I’m gonna totally sound like my mom for a second here but it’s interesting that soooooooo many women in entertainment have careers based on “embracing their sexuality” but the vast majority of men in entertainment base their careers on like … being people…. and like maybe there’s a reason most men don’t seem to find going on stage in underwear “empowering”…? Bc it’s not…?
not to be a prude but women should be able to have basic dignity
And what younger women have a hard time understanding is that none of those women are embracing their sexuality. They’re embracing men’s sexuality. It’s impossible to both market and embrace your own sexuality at the same time because performing for a stranger’s sexual pleasure and for their money automatically means you’ve forfeited your own right to sexual selection.
That is why the only time men “embrace” their own sexuality is when they’re sexualizing a woman as their object of desire.
Female performers still refuse to do that to men, and then they complain that men are still so focused on themselves in bed or can’t even find the damn clitoris.
True sexual autonomy rests in choosing who gets access to your body based purely on whether you yourself are sexually attracted to them or not. Instead liberals ran with sexual empowerment for women meaning to forfeit their sexual desire in exchange for something else that is worth less than their own pleasure.
R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit
A 10-year update to this post:
R.I.P. to the more than 4,500,000 people of Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen, and Syria, who have lost their lives as a result of American occupation.
keeping the tags well said op
i feel like "feminist" anti-kink sentiment is very tail-wagging-the-dog. like male doms playing out bdsm scenes of abuse are not oppressing their female subs that's acting. you're mad at acting. you're those aliens from galaxy quest. same with fearmongering about "booktok". however an eroticized version of patriarchal dynamics being a popular kink DOES speak to the pervasiveness of sexism, bc eroticizing the oppression is a way of coping with living under it. it's women creating a fantasy world where men being menacing to them is sexy and not scary like it is irl, or where it is still scary but in the fun way like a horror movie bc you can tap out at any time by using a safe word or putting the book down. acting like this sort of kink is oppressing women is like if you assumed the thermometer controlled the weather outside. it might be depressing to look at the thermometer and see the impact of climate change, but it's not the thermometer's fault
I know y’all are virgins that have no experience with BDSM besides the idealized versions on AO3 between two male characters, but it isn’t pretend.
Doms don’t pretend to strangle their partner, they do that for real.
Doms don’t pretend to hurl misogynistic and/or racist abuse at their partner, they do that for real.
Doms don’t pretend to hit or slap their partner, they do that for real.
Doms don’t pretend to ignore you crying or saying no , THEY DO THAT FOR REAL.
There is nothing safe, sane, or consensual about BDSM.
Forums are FILLED with women that freeze up and can’t safe word. Forums overflow with women saying that their male doms ignored the safe word when they do say it. There are countless women complaining of men that push kinks the woman doesn’t want until she gives in. The are so many accounts of abusers being protected by the BDSM community. There are so many women that think they can’t report their rape and abuse because their BF calls it kink.
There are women who DIE from BDSM.
And anyone that tells you it’s “healing trauma” to reenact your rape is an idiot and/or a liar. You are retraumatizing yourself and will do massive damage in the long run. You’re mistaking the temporary self esteem boost from pleasing a BF with genuine healing. We don’t shoot ex soldiers with rubber bullets to cure PTSD. We don’t do exposure therapy with sexual intercourse as a treatment. And exposure therapy is for IRRATIONAL fears, like people that are so afraid of pears and can’t go grocery shopping. It isn’t for victims of violence!
It’s not pretend. It’s not acting. He is not fantasizing about the CNC negotiation beforehand. He isn’t going to stay safe and sane and your consent isn’t happening in a vacuum.
Most of you defending this shit haven’t even had “vanilla” sex yet. Use your damn critical thinking for 10 seconds.
We don’t shoot ex soldiers with rubber bullets to cure PTSD
The John Wick vs Ballerina shitshow is such a perfect case study of how men make movies depending on the sex of the main protagonist. The two movies are set in the same universe with many crossovers and yet...
John Wick is male. Therefore, he gets to be an assassin in his 50s, well known by everybody, respected and considered the best of the best.
Eve is female, (yeah that's her name lol). Therefore, she's barely 18 (can't have a main female character above 30 in an action movie that's blasphemy). What's her last name? Doesn't matter. She's a nobody, a literal noob who needs to learn everything.
The actress was clearly chosen for her looks and not her acting; her face barely moves.
The reason for this is that the actress is 37. It's obvious throughout the movie that our "18 years old" has done cosmetic surgery and most of her face can't move. You'd be lucky to get even a frown. Her eyebrows are stuck.
John Wick spends most of the movies injured in some ways and with lots of scratches on his face. He's always in pain. That's almost the point of the movies. Grunting, grimacing, bleeding, sweating, and still fighting.
Meanwhile, Eve looks like an instagram model with the stereotypical neoteny (baby face) and with filters on. She has no credibility.
She's always wearing lots of mascara and lip gloss and her face looks perfect no matter how many people she fights! Not a scratch until the very end of the movie! Lip gloss still on! Hair perfect! Magic! Again, no credibility.
For her first fight, she's wearing a sexy dress and heels. We even see her underwear. Imagine John Wick fighting dressed like that. Suddenly it'd be comedic. She wears heels for the entire movie.
The main character is not named Ballerina as we've seen, that's just the name of the movie because it's girly tee-hee.
John Wick’s character and the actor portraying him are considered impactful enough to carry the movie, and therefore, the movie posters only show John Wick. Even the names of the movies are simply "John Wick."
For Ballerina the movie poster is pink (girl girl girl get it? tee-hee) and she's either wearing the sexy dress or figures in the middle of a multitude of characters with the word "John Wick" because the directors didn't feel like her character could carry the movie. Indeed it can't. Because they can't make a female character.
Misogyny really impairs men's creativity. What's a female character, if not a "barely legal" doll?
No I have to come back to this
what the fuck is going on here is that supposed to be a gun is she close-combat fighting with a gun trying to find the most vulnerable spots to shoot a man with a gun around his guard that guy got shot with a fucking gun and acts like he got punched in the chest it's not a sword or a laser tag rifle it's a high powered projectile weapon that she wouldn't be able to hold so still with how soft and skinny she looks she would be deaf and the discharge from everyone's firearms would have turned that place into the inside of a cloud within a minute we wouldn't be able to see shit
Gotta flash my beav' when I'm pew pewing my princess 👸 gun 🔫 engineered with no recoil at all because I weigh 99lbs and my agents wont allow me to gain muscle in my arms
fandoms are still so transparently male-centric. I'm tired of hearing about people's """babygirls""" and the pathetic wet little guys they're obsessed with. have you ever spent a single second thinking about a female character's interiority
how much of the strength divide between males n female is truly biological and how much is the result of epigenetic trauma from the worldwide comparative starvation of female children for thousands of years?
especially considering that nat geo article about prehistoric women being stronger today than female athletes. and even today girls are encouraged to eat less than boys, when i was a child i knew girls on diets aged EIGHT! chronic malnutrition severely impacts the ability to build muscle - multiply that by five thousand odd years, centuries of discouragement from exercise, positioning of strength as an ‘unfeminine’ quality, confinement to the home, constant pregnancy, sexual preference for weaker, delicate women, and you have a recipe for progressively weaker generations.
i don’t deny at all that there is some natural difference in strength levels, but i wonder how much of an impact the past millennia of misogyny has had on women’s strength, whether we will ever know the extent, and how long that would take to undo.
maybe subconsciously but a lot of people really do not believe women are intelligent enough to be funny on purpose, or absurd/ironic on purpose, or make art that makes people uncomfortable on purpose. “omfg how did she not realise how this would come off” she realised. i promise she realised. i’m going to kill you.
I think it is very rare for a human being to be totally unsalvageable but I think it is very clear to me that many men lack, and will lack until the day they die, the basic understanding of women as human beings just like them with individual desires and fears and personalities, which would be required for men to ever be suitable for interactions with women. Many literally cannot get it in their heads that women have personhood in the exact same sense they do.
You know what’s funny? You make a post about men not being able to understand women, right? You’re a woman, though! So do you somehow magically understand men entirely? Men do not understand women entirely. Women do not understand men entirely. NOBODY understands another individual ENTIRELY. Stop treating men like they’re such bad people. Male or female, we are all human. Nobody can understand anyone else, since we are NOT them. Women can treat men just as badly as men can treat women. Maybe if we could all stop breeding hate towards one another, then maybe we could actually accomplish something.
I already know you’re not looking for a genuine answer but women understand men for two primary reasons.
The first is because they are at danger of being murdered or abused or mistreated if they don’t. Women and especially girls who don’t know how to read their fathers and male cousins or predict their thoughts and desires are yelled at until they either learn to cooperate or refuse to. Women know what every look they get from a man means- sexual interest he doesn’t care enough to hide, having a man undress you mentally on public transportation, a man in class being irritated at you having spoken out of turn, a bruised ego, a desire to hurt you. Women learn these things early to avoid walking the wrong way, to make sure as children not to move in a way that arouses grown men, to know which men she needs to especially carefully track behind her as she walks home. Men don’t even typically know enough about women to distinguish when a woman wants to talk to them from when she doesn’t, many don’t even care to learn the differences between sounds their girlfriends make when they’re aroused and sounds they make when they’re in pain. You don’t have to take my word for it- if you really care, if you are genuinely interested, you can ask the women in your life and, if they are honest, most of them will say the same thing. Maybe in less political terms, but many will tell you they absolutely read a group of men before walking by them for their own safety.
Secondly, the majority of the Western canon of literature, film, art, music- these are told as male narratives. You can’t make it through high school and gey away from hearing about male desires, men’s inner lives, what men think about women. Take an American modern literature class and you’ll be flooded with men- with Faulkner, with Hemingway, with Fitzgerald, and a few women tossed in girls good measure. Take a class on Romantic literature and you’re going to be inundated with male readings of nature and sprituality, from Blake to Byron, again with a few women tossed in for good measure. Take a class on architecture and the faces you see in your books will belong primarily to men. Take a class on art history and the figureheads of each movement will, for the most part, be men. Take a class on politics and your prominent theorists will be men. This is partly the result of historical shutting out of women from these narratives, and partly the result of not actively searching for women’s voices where they are missing.
Lastly, you seem to think I hate men when the fact is I don’t care about them either way. I think they deserve humanity, I care especially about boys because children are all innocent, I care about certain marginalized men specifically. But this is mostly not all that relevant to me and my social life. I don’t date men. I don’t invite new men into my life as friends more than once every few years. I make it a point to keep my female relatives closer to me. I don’t even interact with heterosexual women almost ever- I keep myself closest to lesbians and bi women, so what men do has very little to do with me on an interpersonal basis. I don’t deal with men enough to hate them- I find their presence bothersome because I can’t get away from it without trying, but I don’t want men dead or think they’re doomed to be terrible forever. If I did there’d be no point to feminism at all and I’d just advocate fully for women’s separatism. But the first step to not being as painfully misogynist is listening and taking half a second to think, which most men aren’t interested in. Do what you want among ourselves, but what men do to women concerns me on the behalf of women who do regularly interact with them.
Damn I could not have said that better and the fact that this was said with so much eloquence and wisdom, makes my day so much better
it feels unamerican to try to kill someone with a gun and miss, if i’m honest
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/02/world/europe/france-husband-rape-drug-trial-mazan.html
For years, she had been losing hair and weight. She had started forgetting whole days, and sometimes appeared to be in dreamlike trances. Her children and friends worried she had Alzheimer’s.
But in late 2020, after she was summoned to a police station in southern France, she learned a far more shattering story.
Her husband of 50 years, Dominique Pelicot, had been crushing sleeping pills into her food and drink to put her into a deep sleep, the police said, and then raping her. He had ushered dozens of men into her home to film them raping her, too, they said, in abuse that lasted nearly a decade.
Using the man’s photographs, videos and online messages, the police spent the next two years identifying and charging those other suspects.
On Monday, 51 men, including Mr. Pelicot, went on trial in Avignon, in a case that has shocked France and cast a spotlight on the use of drugs to commit sexual abuse and the broader culture in which such crimes could occur.
The accused men represent a kaleidoscope of working-class and middle-class French society: truck drivers, soldiers, carpenters and trade workers, a prison guard, a nurse, an I.T. expert working for a bank, a local journalist. They range in age from 26 to 74. Many have children and are in relationships.
Most are charged with raping the woman once. A handful are accused of returning as many as six times to rape her.
The victim, Gisèle, who has divorced her husband and changed her surname since his arrest, is now in her 70s.
Since his arrest, Mr. Pelicot, 71, has “always declared himself guilty,” said Béatrice Zavarro, his lawyer. “He is not at all contesting his role.”
Other defendants have denied the rape charges, with some arguing that they had the husband’s permission and thought that was sufficient, while others claimed they believed the victim had agreed to be drugged.
When the police showed Gisèle some of the photographs they say her husband had carefully classified and stored, she expressed deep shock. She and her husband had been together since they were 18. She had described him to the police as caring and considerate.
She had no memory of being raped, by him or the other men, only one of whom she recognized, she told the police, as a neighbor in town.
The first time she will consciously witness the rapes, her lawyer Antoine Camus says, will be in the courtroom when the video recordings are played as evidence.
The trial comes at a moment of heightened scrutiny of the handling of sexual crimes in the country. Rape is defined in French law as an “act of sexual penetration” committed “by violence, coercion, threat or surprise.” A number of feminist lawmakers want to amend that wording to say explicitly that sex without consent is rape, that consent can be withdrawn at any time, and that consent cannot exist if sexual assault is committed “by abusing a state impairing the judgment of another.”
“There is a kind of naïveté on the topic of predators in France, a kind of denial,” said Sandrine Josso, a lawmaker who led a parliamentary commission into what is known in France as “chemical submission” — drugging someone with malicious intent. She started the commission after she says she became the victim of a drugging last year. A senator is being investigated on accusations that he slipped Ecstasy into her Champagne.
Ms. Josso hopes that the Avignon trial will draw attention to the use of drugs to prey on women, and also shed light on the wide profile of predators. “They could be your neighbors, without falling into paranoia,” she said.
Mr. Pelicot seemed like a classic man next door. He was a trained electrician, an entrepreneur and an avid cyclist. His middle child and only daughter, Caroline Darian, her pen name, described him as a warm and present father in a book published in 2022 about the case, “And I Stopped Calling You Papa.” She tried to turn her family trauma into action, forming a nonprofit association, “Don’t Put Me to Sleep,” to publicize the dangers of drug-facilitated crimes.
Her father, she wrote, was the one who drove her to school, picked her up late from parties, encouraged her and consoled her. Her mother was the stable breadwinner, working as a manager in a Paris-area company for 20 years.
When Gisèle retired, they moved to a house with a big garden and pool in Mazan, a small town northeast of Avignon. The couple regularly hosted their three children and grandchildren for summer vacations peppered with late dinners on the terrace, where the family debated, held dance competitions and played Trivial Pursuit.
“I think of us as happy,” his daughter wrote. “I thought my parents were.”
None of them harbored any suspicions. Then, in 2020, three women reported Mr. Pelicot to the police for trying to use his camera to film up their skirts in a grocery store, and he was arrested.
The police seized his two cellphones, two cameras and his electronic devices, including his laptop, before releasing him on bail.
On the devices, the police say they found 300 photographs and a video of an unconscious woman being sexually assaulted by many people. They said they also found Skype messages in which the man boasted of drugging his wife and invited men to join him in having sex with her while she was unconscious.
Over the course of their investigation, the police found more than 20,000 videos and photographs, many of them dated and labeled, in an electronic folder titled “abuse.” The timeline they built began in 2011. The list of suspects grew to 83.
Two months after his initial arrest, Mr. Pelicot was arrested again and charged with aggravated rape, drugging and a list of sexual abuse charges. He is also accused of violating the privacy of his wife, daughter and two daughters-in-law on suspicion of illegally recording, and at times distributing, intimate photos of them.
If he is found guilty, he faces up to 20 years in prison.
During interviews with the police, the details of which were included in an overview of the case by the investigative judge, Mr. Pelicot said he began drugging his wife so he could do things to her, and dress her in things, that she normally refused. Then he started inviting others to participate. He said he never asked for or accepted money.
He met most of the men, the investigating judge’s report stated, in a chat room on a notorious, unmoderated French website implicated in more than 23,000 police cases in France alone from 2021 to 2024. It was finally shut down, and its owner arrested, in June after an 18-month investigation stretching across Europe.
The chat room where most of the men met Mr. Pelicot was called “a son insu,” which means “without their knowledge.”
Over the years, Mr. Pelicot told the police, he developed rules for the visitors to ensure that his wife did not wake: no smoking or cologne; undress in the kitchen; warm hands under hot water or on a radiator, so their cold touch would not jolt her. At the end of each night, according to the investigating judge’s report, he cleaned his wife’s body.
Of the 83 suspects, the police identified and charged 50.
Only one of the men is not charged with rape, assault or attempted rape of Mr. Pelicot’s wife. Instead, that man is accused of following the same model, and drugging his own wife to rape her. Mr. Pelicot is also charged with raping the man’s wife while she was drugged.
Five of the men also face charges for possessing child sexual abuse imagery.
Mr. Pelicot is also being investigated in the rape and murder of a 23-year-old woman in 1991 and the attempted rape of a 19-year-old in 1999. He admitted to the attempted rape, according to Florence Rault, the lawyer representing the victims in both cases, but denies any involvement in the 1991 homicide.
The story has prompted some soul-searching among doctors, since Gisèle had visited gynecologists and neurologists over a series of mystifying symptoms, but had received no diagnosis, according to her daughter.
“What I found disturbing for us doctors was that no doctor considered this hypothesis,” said Dr. Ghada Hatem-Gantzer, a well known obstetrician-gynecologist and expert in violence against women. She and a pharmacist, Leila Chaouachi, have now developed training for doctors and nurses on the symptoms that victims of drug-facilitated assault can experience.
Contrary to popular belief, most cases occur at home, not at bars, said Ms. Chaouachi, who runs annual surveys on such offenses in France. Most victims are women, the surveys show, and around half of the victims do not remember the attack, because of blackouts, she said.
In the case going to court in Avignon, some of the accused admitted guilt to the police. According to the investigating judge’s report, many claimed that they were tricked into having sex with a drugged woman — lured by a husband for a three-way encounter and told she was pretending to sleep, because she was shy.
Several said they believed that she had consented to being drugged and raped as part of a sex fantasy. Some said they did not believe it was rape, because her husband was there and they believed he could consent for both of them.
“It sends shivers down the spine regarding the state of affairs in French society,” said Mr. Camus, who is also representing Ms. Darian and many other members of the family. “If that’s the conception of consent in sexual matters in 2024, then we have a lot, a lot, a lot of work to do.”
this is a woman in her 70s who has been with her husband since she was 18, and describes him as “kind and considerate”. this is why many of us say that yes, even your jakey/nigel could potentially be a horrible misogynist and yes, there’s a possibility you wouldn’t know about it. i hope she gets justice and that all these men suffer horrifically.
“If a society puts half its children into short skirts and warns them not to move in ways that reveal their panties, while putting the other half into jeans and overalls and encouraging them to climb trees, play ball, and participate in other vigorous outdoor games; if later, during adolescence, the children who have been wearing trousers are urged to “eat like growing boys,” while the children in skirts are warned to watch their weight and not get fat; if the half in jeans runs around in sneakers or boots, while the half in skirts totters about on spike heels, then these two groups of people will be biologically as well as socially different. Their muscles will be different, as will their reflexes, posture, arms, legs and feet, hand-eye coordination, and so on. Similarly, people who spend eight hours a day in an office working at a typewriter or a visual display terminal will be biologically different from those who work on construction jobs. There is no way to sort the biological and social components that produce these differences. We cannot sort nature from nurture when we confront group differences in societies in which people from different races, classes, and sexes do not have equal access to resources and power, and therefore live in different environments. Sex-typed generalizations, such as that men are heavier, taller, or stronger than women, obscure the diversity among women and among men and the extensive overlaps between them… Most women and men fall within the same range of heights, weights, and strengths, three variables that depend a great deal on how we have grown up and live. We all know that first-generation Americans, on average, are taller than their immigrant parents and that men who do physical labor, on average, are stronger than male college professors. But we forget to look for the obvious reasons for differences when confronted with assertions like ‘Men are stronger than women.’ We should be asking: ‘Which men?’ and ‘What do they do?’ There may be biologically based average differences between women and men, but these are interwoven with a host of social differences from which we cannot disentangle them.”
— Ruth Hubbard, “The Political Nature of ‘Human Nature’“ (via gothhabiba)
Yes.
Here, have a study (x) showing that mothers underestimate their daughter’s physical capacity from as young as 11 months old (though in reality it’s identical to that of their son’s at the same age). And if you think that parents acting on those expectations won’t alter their children’s development, then I have a sloped bridge to sell you.
pass it on!
(ID in alt text)
Please reblog this even if you don’t care
They’re trying to erase the existence of the rape victims of Japanese soldiers in World War II because they think the reminder of their crimes might make Japan a little bit cross
Duterte, the absolute coward, is more worried about women criticizing him than actually honoring the women this country needs to remember
Please don’t let these women be silenced.