Beep Beep, Sheep in a Jeep

[vadergf]

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

[rudolphsboyfriend]

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

[bisexualalexmercer]

tumblr may have censored porn but check this out

i hope Elon musk KILLS himself and DIES a thousand DEATHS. and i hope every other billionaire a very merry DIE DIE DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL

[the-trash-eating-llama]

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

agnostic-atheist spectrum but with flavors

an omnipotent creator being almost certainly doesn't exist but if it does, it's a supervillain

gods shouldn't exist but we keep creating them to use as weapons. and no one knows how to defuse one

gods don't exist which is a relief bc otherwise we'd be forced to hunt them down for execution

creator god exists and we owe it nothing (DEEPLY unqualified)

god/s abandoned us and it hurt at the time but in hindsight we escaped a highly toxic relationship

the universe is a pet goldfish kept in an irresponsibly small bowl by a toddler deity whose parents are considering moving up to a hamster

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

not just atheist but anti-theist. a divine being descends to earth and im in the background booing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

god isn't real but if it was, we'd be obligated to imprison it for crimes against humanity

[sheepinajeep2]

Yes to all of this but especially the last part.

Response to anyone trying to evangelize me: Oh I know god well, and I hate him. And now I kinda hate you for bringing up my abusive ex like that.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[funnelcloudd]

Not to sound like a fuckin hippie but please for the love of god start noticing and appreciating the natural world around you. You don’t have to go hike the entire Appalachian trail or anything and I get that not everyone has access to the outdoors for various reasons, but just fucking … look around you when you’re outside. Notice the sky and the sun and the birds and creatures. Start caring about them. I’m begging you.

[catboybiologist]

Look in gutters. Flip over rocks in a park. Get into birdwatching, even if it's just for pigeons and house sparrows, cuz you'll be surprised at how beautiful they are and how much else you'll see that you thought was just sparrows. Start identifying plants on the street. Plant a native flower in a public median. Stare into a pond or a puddle until something moves.

[sheepinajeep2]

But honestly. Pigeons are unironically some of the prettiest birds ever. And I have seen beautiful sunsets in my life from the gas station.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we gotta get back into revolving bookcases i'm begging

truly we allow the pinnacles of human achievement to wither and collapse into ashes in the wind

[anablepsian]

These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[redstonedust]

we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.

[sheepinajeep2]

There is an outdoor exercise space next to the playground by my house. anyone can go there and "work out" (play on parallel bars and jump off the situp bench)

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[jovishark]

some advice for people entering their 20s:

-dont go to the emergency room with dental problems. go to the dentist

-bagged greens are cheaper than pre-made salads

-taco bell is NOT worth the money anymore. 1/4 cup mayo, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3 tblspoons pickled jalapenos+2tblspoons of the jar liquid, 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder salt+pepper. all in your blender. creamy jalapeno sauce

-dont quit your job unless you have a bunch of job interviews lined up immediately after

-use resources. food bank, unemployment, housing assistance, financial aid, etc. yes there will be paperwork. but Do It

-dont stay awake longer than 20 hours. you Will start to become impulsive and cranky. resting for 20 minutes is better than trying to stay awake

-for every 2 hours you spend looking up close at screens, spend 20 minutes looking at something far away from you. stretch your wrists a lot

-dont do that yoga stretch where you roll your head around your shoulders. youre grinding down the joints in your neck

-be nice to your friends, bullying them as a joke gets old. if you need a ride somewhere at least offer them gas money

-brush your teeth at any time of the day but especially before you sleep. dont snack in bed if you can help it. make your bed the Clean Teeth Zone. keep floss picks by your bed

-dont tell your boss youre adhd/autism/depression/suicidal. dont trust your coworkers with that. you NEVER know how people will take it and its none of their business

-train your pets to go to the front door when they hear a fire alarm

-get regular oil changes

[crabussy]

I think I just got catcalled from a truck but I don’t know because I have auditory processing disorder. misogyny 0 autism 1

[biglawbear]

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

[christaaah]

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

[biglawbear]

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

[firstbornsons-deactivated202605]

@thesummoningdark hello?????

[thesummoningdark]

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

[biglawbear]

Good afternoon to everyone in the notes having a horrible time! Y'all are fighting demons I never knew existed!! I think every person that makes you do stupid time wasting shit like this because they refuse to learn basic computer literacy should be fired!!

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[autopsy]

kiss your cats head for me

[sheepinajeep2]

Gandalf's patience wears thin

[omegasmileyface]

Montana Supreme Court Rules Its Constitution Entirely Protects Trans Citizens In Landmark Ruling

The ruling will have enormous impacts for transgender residents in the state.

HOLY SHIT

[definite-human]

"The Montana court separately declared that transgender people constitute a suspect class under the state's equal protection clause. In legal terms, a suspect class is a group that has historically faced such severe discrimination that any law targeting them must meet the highest level of judicial scrutiny to survive—the same standard applied to laws that discriminate on the basis of race. [...] The practical effect is sweeping: any Montana law that singles out transgender people will now face strict scrutiny, meaning the state must prove the law serves a compelling interest and is narrowly tailored to achieve it—a standard that laws almost never survive.

"Because the decision rests entirely on the Montana Constitution, it is insulated from the U.S. Supreme Court. Under the principle of adequate and independent state grounds, the federal Supreme Court cannot review a state court's interpretation of its own constitution, so long as that constitution provides more protection than the federal one. [...] What this means in practice is that Montana's transgender residents now have a constitutional shield completely independent of the Supreme Court of the United State’s decisions."

(emphases mine)

[chilewithcarnage]

sorry gotta get my ‘friend that’s too woke’ on but I don’t think the solution to misogyny is more misogyny. like by all means rip into republican/right wing women but your critiques should be about how they’re evil soulless people not ‘haha they’re ugly/visibly aged. they don’t know how to put on make up!’ like i don’t fucking know man I don’t think any woman at all should be required to wear makeup or be made fun of for not wearing it ‘properly’ also let’s stop doing the ‘not conventionally attractive = morally bad’ thing. that last part especially be kicking y’all asses.