Who, ME?!

Why, thank you~~

[rabid-transcendentalist]

[fantastic-nonsense]

always utterly fascinating to come across someone who seemingly has read canon but has such a radically different interpretation of the text that you basically can't recognize anything they're talking about

[official-kircheis]

catholics and protestants

[deceptipup]

[blindbirdnerd]

i was just wondering if this had faded into the background noise of the internet yet, but nope, still very much here

[moon-mason]

[madamslayyy]

Got his ass together in three words

[bogleech]

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

[callmestannismaybe]

[normal-horoscopes]

Christians keep stealing shit from other esoteric traditions when St Barbara is right there.

[normal-horoscopes]

Y'all have a PATRON SAINT OF BOMBS AND EXPLOSIONS AND NONE OF Y'ALL EVER MENTION HER

[normal-horoscopes]

Her symbology is the Chalice and Cannon. Queen.

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

her Wikipedia page says she's lesbian

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

*LEBANESE

[dearings]

patron saint of osha

[jasmineiros]

[shitswiftiessay]

also, its sister tweet:

[dandalfthe-gay-deactivated20251]

How could you forget:

[galacticism]

[slushi-chan]

Had to add this gem

[therobotmonster]

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

[kittenchomp]

hears someone pounding at my door immediately before receiving this message

[westmeath]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I THOUGHT THE SAME THING

[pinkysburg]

one thing ab louis de pointe du lac is he will be taking the house in the divorce.

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[charlesoberonn]

[zooophagous]

I have been a sheep caretaker for like two days and already I'm like. Wow. I get it.

I get why these were some of the earliest mammals to ever be domesticated. They look up to humans with this sort of dumb but all at once innocent and pure and trusting expression. They're happy to see you. They follow you around. They like to be rubbed under their chins. Maybe its just some latent Scottish highland shepherd DNA I still have in me but I look at my sheep charges and suddenly I see why the love of God for humanity is so often described as a shepherd and his sheep. I'd fight a wolf for these guys. I'd go way the Hell out of my way for them. I'd carry their young for miles on my own back.

[upward-bound]

nearly 80k reblogs and how many of you eat lamb

[zooophagous]

The ancient shepherds I'm referencing also ate lamb lol

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[kristina100000]

[rambling-shark]

Sad to be the one to tell y'all, but aborted children and children died before christening don't get into heaven. They go to the Limbus, the outermost circle of hell, where the souls go who are exempt from paradise without it being their fault

[cephalophor]

You need to update your sources

Since 2007 unbaptized children go to heaven and limbo doesn't exists anymore

[cosmicibe]

mf aint even read the patch notes

[ladytengen]

[mclennonyaoi]

every so often i will come across a macklemore lyric that just… catches me so fucking off guard

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

throw back to this absolute gem. first lyric of the song.

[junglejim4322]

[maelwife]

[oneheadtoanother]

The dye in Doritos can make mice transparent

'It’s not magic, but it’s still very powerful.'

girl what?

[gallusrostromegalus]

Special Item Drop: Dorito's Diaphanous Dust - A Neon Orange dust that (somehow) turns mice- and maybe you!- transparent.

[transmantraut]