Eddie has tiny dick energy, ngl @shinyvampireass - Tumblr Blog

here’s edythe, who could have just been named edith but it was real mormon hours when steph decided to write the same book. anyway, i always think about how edward/edythe is supposed to look really young - actually like a 17 year old. going more for the sculpture corpse look here. anyway, here’s edythe trying to get bella to eat some fruit bc she clearly has low blood sugar and could use the vitamni c.

#they should all have grey lips

some random woman's thoughts: oh hey, he's kind of hot.

Edward Cullen: Dear Diary. Today another WHORE vies for my affection. Existence is agony.

chloebeale

“who else gets married at eighteen?”

universallypanned

witch twins!

y’all ever notice how steph is weirdly antagonistic towards jane? like ma’am cool down she is a 12 year old that almost got burned at the stake… if i nearly got murdered by the locals and was then forced to be a tween forever, i’d probably want to torture people too.

jesicamin

emmetslastbraincell

Are we just gonna ignore stunt double Carlisle in the background

shinyvampireass

sunfortune

i dont like love triangles not bc love triangles are inherently bad but bc im literally NEVER torn. im always like “i like this one” and thats That. its done. no more bullshit. but love triangles DEPEND on the bullshit of back and forth. so then whenever the writer is doing their tragic “maybe in another life” long winded emotional scene with the OTHER character im always just like…alright

princesseblade

I’m so glad someone put this into words holy shit.

renthebarbarian

It’s never like “two really great people”, it’s always “one who’s pretty good and one who’s the absolute fucking worst” or “one who is clearly the third wheel cuck in this so called triangle”

the-golden-onion

stefanie mayor

the-golden-onion

stefanny mayonnaise

the-golden-onion

stuff-funny moron

seth-my-son-clearwater

staff honey my errrrr...

movedtocarlislesscarf

stracist meysogynist

morelike-bi-light

staff infection meysothelioma

shinyvampireass

stinky mormon

a-sucker-for-rosalie-deactivate

This is now a midnight sun hate blog

#i'm not even reading that bitch lol #other than the part of the rough draft i read a while back #it feels good being superior

the104yearoldvirgin

Bella rocked up on that hiker in the woods like she was Shel Silverstein on the cover of his first ever album and that's the tea.

jasperwhitcock

idk what new info i love about bella more — the fact that bella is a star wars fan or that she used to go ghost hunting

bellasdumptruckass

u know i wonder if the reason so many people think bella is boring is because, as the narrator of her own story, she left out all the fun details like this. bc of course bella doesn’t report on all the things that make her unique—she, by smeyer’s design, doesn’t really care enough about her self to do so. i doubt smeyer did it on purpose, but edward’s story (as terrible as it is) really does bring bella to life in a different way simply bc he considers these details important and interesting enough to remember. so yah i dislike midnight sun, but one of the few things i do like about it is how we actually learn fun details like these about the series’ main character.

#i haven't read midnight sun and i haven't been interested in it #because i read some of the rough draft before the official release #and the cullens were so fucken gross and creepy in it especially edward #but this makes me want to read it just a little bit

cullen-collective

it makes me cringe to my very core when edward says “more like the lion, or so they tell me” after bella asks if he’s like a bear when he hunts .... u know the cullens are all at their lunch table like .. edward what the fuck literally Nobody has told you that

Edward: I'm like a lion... you know my preference for blood informs my style... you know we all kind of do that... I'm smart and deep and dangerous... my family all tells me so...

Rosalie: