shitty nerd humor

Hey there! On my main blog I post about body-positivy, fitness and science. This is my outlet for shitty puns and stupid posts. A shitblr if you want.

[here-by-chance]

im obsessed

[the-real-seebs]

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[i-merani]

[heatandapathy]

This is an absolute religious experience that I was not prepared for

[soulsistrin]

Whoever did the caps for this deserves an award

[liifeintechniicolour]

Can never not reblog this, a Scottish national treasure 😂

[goldeneyesblind]

That really is how being in your 30s is like 😭

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 20

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[teatops]

That “I think I fucked up” was timed perfectly

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 19

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[tradgothwillbyers]

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

[parttimepup]

Yes it’s called the mammalian diving response and it’s also why doing face masks and taking a shower is soothing. Our amphibian ancestors used this mechanism to slow down the heartbeat and lower body temperature so as not to waste calories while swimming (which is very calorie intensive). It makes you feel safe because predators are less likely to get you in water than on land. The fish brain is alive and well in all of us.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

It’s literally activated by putting water on the face.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768097/

[dogs4ge]

My amphibian ancestors gave me the instinct to dissociate in the shower for hours on end

[unabashedlybi-deactivated201911]

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

[m1ssc0mmun1cat10n]

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

[silly-activites]

THE ORIGINAL??

[dduane]

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

[fakecapricorn]

to all my demotivated girls

[cocoamoonmalfoy]

​no lie I had to get up to shake my ass this is potent

[soedblackchaos]

Need this to be every Monday…

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[squiddleward-deactivated2019060]

what the fuck

[beatcroc]

#it’s NOT inexplicable#it’s bc someone based it on the unicode 6 yellow heart#which is colorless but shaded with halftone dots#and someone interpreted that like stubble#and drew this#which is SO FUCKING FUNNY via @animusbell

[eldermindless]

[lightning-and-lavender-fire]

OH MY GOD

THE REASON THE YELLOW HEART IS SHADED THAT WAY IS BECAUSE OF FUCKING HERALDRY HATCHING ISN’T IT

FUCK YEAH AUTISM LET’S GOOOO

[apatheticlexicographer]

big if true

[arkatrine]

@spaghetti-aldente

[ivereadthemanual]

Das crazy

Quelle YouTube

[android-spider]

:)

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

stupid fucking slut hour 

[snuv]

happy stupid fucking slut sunday

[blignick]