Shit BTS say

Or maybe not but who knows?

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Mugger: Give me your wallet. Now.

Jin, gasps: But-

Mugger, snatches and looks through the wallet, confused: W-what are these? Don't you have money?

Jin: Please! Not my most prized coupons!

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jungkook: If I illegally download a movie in the Bahamas, does that make me a Pirate of the Caribbean?

Hoseok: Jin-hyung will be so proud of you.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Taehyung: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Jimin: Tae, are you okay?

Taehyung: Tannie stole my food.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jimin: You know what I've always wondered, hyung? How do tall people like you actually sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Namjoon: Jimin-ah, it's four o'clock in the morning. Go to sleep.

Jimin: You can't sleep? Is it because of the blanket?

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Hoseok: I laugh in the face of danger.

Yoongi: You were crying for 45 minutes and begged Jimin not to leave you, so Taehyung had to get you ice cream.

Hoseok: That was ages ago.

Yoongi: It was ten minutes ago.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Taehyung: The eagles won last night.

Namjoon: Oh, I didn't know you're into those types of games.

Taehyung, covered in blood and scratches: What game?

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Yoongi: I don't get why some people have to input every single fandom you're in in their url, god.

Jungkook, subtly backspaces on his url: Whom'st?

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jimin: Hyung, please donate to my charity.

Namjoon: What does your charity do, Jiminie?

Jimin: To raise awareness.

Namjoon: Awareness for what?

Jimin: For charity.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jimin: You can only bring sexy back if you have the receipt, hyung.

Jin: It's called my birth certificate.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jungkook: Do birds have nipples?

Namjoon: Nope.

Jungkook: Don't force your beliefs on me, hyung.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Taehyung: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.

Hoseok: ...

Taehyung: *irresistable.

Hoseok: Tae, you can't do that when you're speaking.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

05 June 2015.

Hoseok: Hey.

05 June 2018.

Jungkook: Hey, hyung.

Hoseok: I sent that three years ago.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Seokjin: I ate six sandwiches under 4 minutes and now I can't move.

Namjoon: I can offer mouth to mouth.

Seokjin: Don't you dare extract any of my sandwiches.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that means that I can't have anymore food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment.

Jungkook, probably

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Jimin: I would like to phone a friend.

Game show host: We haven't even started the questions yet, Jimin-ssi.

Jimin: I know. I just miss Tae.

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Taehyung: I just electrocuted myself. Oh my god ouch!

Jungkook: How shocking.

Jimin: How do you currently feel?

Hoseok: He looks kind of amped to me.

Namjoon: Watt? I can't hear you guys.

Seokjin: That hertz a lot.

Yoongi:

[shitbtsprobablysays]

Yoongi: Good morning, cruel world.

Hoseok: Don't you mean goodbye, hyung?

Yoongi: No, I really meant good morning. This world may be cruel but I'm still kicking.