Shitty Genshin Theories

Reject humanity. Return to yaaaa

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Happy birthday to the bestest big brother!!!

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ART

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whAT'S IN THE SUITCASE

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A lil' something for @cryptidbite's birfday, happy happy!

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Ok so what if the people of Khan'riah are actually from another world (maybe the abyss) and came to Teyvat and after Celestia found out and realized the threat they can pose to Teyvat with forbidden knowledge, their rise in power, and having a little too much ambition than Celestia was comfortable with they decided it would be best to thanos snap them away before they can cause any more damage.

Hi! Apologies for the over-fashionably late reply.....had to crawl out of the Abyss, and kinda tripped a few times on the bloody steps. [WARNING - POSSIBLE SPOILERS] So far a lot of lore states that the Primordial One was from the outside and fought off the native vishaps/dragons. As far as we know Khan'riah, like everyone from Teyvat are descendants of the Primordial One's people and/or the 2nd One (who later attacked the) Primordial One (thought also possibly some of the people are a mix of leftover vishaps aka lizard people are real, more news at 5pm). A lot suggests that Khan'riahs knew too much and were too ambitious, thought like they say "the victors write the history" so the questions are what Celestia considers "dangerous knowledge" and what ambitions did Khan'riah had. So far we know that Abyss Order is what is possibly left of Khanria, and fight the Celestia, but Abyss also existed before and they may have their own ambitions which later mixed with what was left of cursed Khan'riahs.

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Red: Alhaitham should totally have a skill/burst where he just puts his sword away and punches the opponent with his fist

Red: And then when Kaveh pisses him off, he's like "don't make me use my burst" "what? What's your- [gets punched straight in the face]"

Cryptid: wheez

Cryptid: it's canon now

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I saw this random photo and my hand slipped.

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I just think the Quicksand Unagi are NEAT.

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Here's a small bonus, for those wondering who the fourth character on the team was.

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Small sacrifice for Red.

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Greetings lovely critters! I'm Cryptid (and I) Bite also known as the Chaos Mage. I'm here for all of the lore weirdness and any possible (unhinged) theories that the Teyvat and you can offer. I may or may not be on some top notch Sumeru-shrooms but worry not... I only stab when they are gone. From time to time I will draw something, but mostly I dig up weird theories for Red to judge me for (possibly with THE SPOON of theirs....bloody thing broke my ear, you guys)

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Behold! It's Red!! Your friendly (unless…) Tea Abyss Mage. I make drawings and silly little comics. I play games badly, but enjoy it nonetheless. I'm not that deep into Genshin lore, but I love the characters and the interactions between them. Send me your best character theories! I'll be happy to reply with sketches!

I must wield the Spoon to bonk stupid ideas out of Cryptid's head. But fear not, for if you behave, the Spoon shall not pass its judgement onto you.

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Well hello there! We decided to pop in to finally show our faces to all of you lovely critters.

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Okay so me and my friend have this crack theory that I came up with after the harbinger trailer because yes (prepare yourself for stupid insanity lmao)

The basics of it is that Pulcinella is Klee's grandpa (hear me out-)

They're both elves because short and long ears, and Pulcinella has yellow eyes, as shown in the trailer. If you look at Klee's eyes, you can see yellow in the bottom halves of them. It would also explain how Alice can explore so freely, having the major protection and immunity that comes with having a harbinger for a dad.

Pulcinella also has a thing for being involved with crazy eccentric children (coughs in Tar-Tar-Taglia), so it kinda works out, right???

Red: This, my liege, is GENIUS. I can totally see it. But it also makes me really sad thinking how much gramps Pulcinella must miss little Klee? Do you think she comes to visit around Christmas/whatever sort of holiday they have in Snezhnaya? Pictured: Pulcinella as Ded Moroz, giving out gifts to his bunch of (peculiar) grandchildren

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Haven't had enough time to make a proper birthday picture (at least for now), but just wanted to say that as a person from a Slavic country, I can confirm that Childe's family sending you kiełbasa and cheese means that they love you and care for you very much

-Red