Alaskan Bull Worm

Don't mess with my funky flow.

[elierlick]

Practice makes perfect.

[muchymozzarella]

Please reblog this even if you don’t care

They’re trying to erase the existence of the rape victims of Japanese soldiers in World War II because they think the reminder of their crimes might make Japan a little bit cross

Duterte, the absolute coward, is more worried about women criticizing him than actually honoring the women this country needs to remember

Please don’t let these women be silenced.

[indigonite]

classic from last year that I can only share it today

[thebootydiaries]

[gostarflyer]

[bo0zey]

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

[bo0zey]

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

[bo0zey]

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

[badjokesbyjeff]

I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”

I said, “No. Is that still required?”

[andalwaysburning]

Oh my God.

[endangered-justice-seeker]

[kurlyfryz]

Mickey Mouse says:

[draconicmonsterfucker-deactivat]

I’m bad at art but someone make some “help Hong kong” art with micky, get it goin

[kurlyfryz]

Is this what you’re looking for?

[kurlyfryz]

Hey, boost this? Actually?

[fags4cowboys]

Disney is fucking huge in China so yeah. Fuck shit up.

[the-brilliant-comet-of-1812]

I am a talent

@thediscoenjolras

[unclefather]

Hey. Anyone know why my 3 year old just told me that her shoes were “bitchin” ??

[cheaphalloweencostume]

assuming that the shoes were bitchin

[ore-imouto-deactivated20240108]

[apollosbuttcheeks-deactivated20]

Bully him

[razzleberryjam]

“Cringe culture is dead”

*male leaves his home in something cringe*

“Bully him”

[librius]

this isnt cringe culture, this is “implied porn of a children’s show in public”

[babyboyfez-deactivated20191126]

His knees gave in near the top 😂

[wakandamama]

[willsmithsmackedtheshitoutofme]

Lmfaoooooooooooo

[dead-an-ah-deactivated20210815]

I’m stealing this idea from another blog, and changing it a little! Everyone who reblogs this by the 31st will get a ghost-type baby Pokemon for spookytimes!

Edit:  Do you all want this to include Legendaries or Pokemon that evolve into ghost-types?

[mavros-lykos]

Yes

[whitepeopletwitter]

That sounded expensive

[sunder-the-gold]

What are your elected officials doing with all of your tax money?

[asswatthama]

Embezzling

[4444555666777888999]

Um no offense but why doesn’t anyone memorize passages from books and then recite them aloud for everyone at parties anymore.

[mynameismeowmeow]

We memorize vines, the office, and John mulaney segments instead, war has changes but humanity has not

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]