¯\_(ツ)_/¯

alyssa, 28, mi

[lild3m0nsworld]

[earhartsease]

[spikespeaches]

happy out for a walk bitch day to those who celebrate

[gloomydude-deactivated20150419]

[son-of-rap-bear]

It doesn’t end there:

[funimationentertainment]

another addition

[cs-inactive1-deactivated2020060]

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

[eroscestlavie]

oh my god

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[itsapmseymour]

Still wrapping my head around the fact the phrase "Hold Your Horses" is a play on the word Stable...

To be stable.

[zzoupz]

[zzoupz]

[actuallyapathy]

obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase

[swanpaw]

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

[lakevida]

[thequeeninyellowlace]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[hballegro]

Attacked by very sudden torrential downpour and went to check the weather radar and then remembered this image

[artbyblastweave]

Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

[oralhardwarestore]

382752488261 unique posts remain

[artbyblastweave]

listen, man, I don't appreciate this kind of pressure. I'm posting as often as I can. I spent this morning shoving store-bought eggs down a dead guy's throat. Some of us have jobs, man

[your-did-it-official]

Every Saturday is coelacanth Saturday

[free-my-mindd]

[diedoffscreen]

[mornington-the-crescent]

[furrypost-generator]

indecipherable text lost to time

[40ouncesandamule]

thank you for explaining because ever since I first saw this post, the phrase "nurning annintant" has been burning a hole through the back of my skull

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I also came up with "nurning annintant" and am fully crying laughing about it

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

She will be by your nide

[jaubaius]

No way out

[bogleech]

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

[lochnutmonster]

Sisyphus

[chortlebot]

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

[ri5k]

i’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept

[amygdalae]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[amygdalae]

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

[toonlink1210]

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

[chapeldean]

i’m only on reddit for r/Kevin

[chapeldean]

[notavalidblognamebut]

This thread under the post is the funniest thing I've seen today