[siddhxartha]

I speak to the emptiness of the universe, with God as my witness.

Where is my cry for help? Perhaps found in my drawings, or on the heart on my sleeve. Can you see how many times it’s been put back together?

I drive in the rain, straight way to the road of self loathing. Crying out to God; Wherever shall I go? Whatever shall I do?

I walk the streets of faces and liquor, secret affairs in between corners and shadows, worldly things each turn I make. The adulterous woman examines my body up and down with her eyes. There is nothing of this world that brings me peace.

My friends are a bliss. The people I see and love each day, to make me forget the tribulations of life but for a moment. They are my only joy in life. But without them, where can my joy truly be found?

With these emotions that weigh my spirit; I write. I draw. I express. I create. I speak to the emptiness of the universe, with God as my witness.

5/10/26 9:47pm

[siddhxartha]

Friday post-work inclusiveness

~

Are you still there? Which was before me? Or behind the me I know now? Trivial societal monotony.

Where he was, or when she was, the two lover quarrel like planets drifting away from orbit. Stationary stars we are, gaseous matter without form, spiritual beings with no end.

Can the clay ask “why has thou made me” to the potter?

Pain is but the passing of time, relative time is but the blink of existence. When shall thou know?

We never knew, nor were we ever was. The grass and the flowers of the field fadeth away. We are but grass.

Whom shall a man find his call? Crying in the wilderness? At the cross? Or even at the end of time?

Transgressions, tribulations, fantasies, worldly things. A cube cannot be a sphere, yet there is a cubical sphere. A shape cannot be without form, yet there is formless. Formlessness is not so without existence, yet there is no existence. Beyond the four corners of your mind there is no existence.

There is only we, and God who made us we.

4/24/26 6:33pm

[siddhxartha]

The coming to an end of age.

Blushing blues drag the sky open purple.

Twinkling memories bounce upwards with sparks of nostalgia.

The visions reveal something hidden underneath the layer of flesh into the soul.

The journey ahead is eternal, and with many forms shall we manifest, and with many stars shall we fall.

Grab ahold of those before they slip from thy grasp.

This life is but a blink, a breath of smoke exhaling as fast as it’s inhaled. Peer too far beyond the smoke and you will find that the eyes which peer back into you is but yourself.

1/18/26 7:40pm

Where shall I go? To what uncharted course shall I take? To where will the sea drift me ashore? Who shall I find awaiting by the dried coral? Covered in barnacles lost to the sands of time? Seaweed as porous as the moonlight sky?

Tis I, the pirate who cannot lie, a bit shy when the nights arise. Who am I?

A drunken sailor writing his tales, fables of labor inside the belly of a whale. Where shall I lie? Asleep in the tide? Drowned by the sky? Dare I not cry.

An adventure awaits which God knows why. Faith remains in the heart that can only try.

Do I speak these words and do you know why? Hear my journey, be apart with goodbyes.

Only one life, no soul can you buy, but only forged in the fires of the pain with time.

2/7/26 8:34pm

[siddhxartha]

Within my mind there exists a place that is both real and not.

A life behind the curtains with no beginning or end.

The other side behind these eyes see nothing of this world; only the infinite horizon trapped inside this skull.

I am a prisoner to the cage that is society.

I free fall even in my sleep to chase these distant memories.

Pain is feeling everything yet knowing nothing.

My shadow will echo into these poems and be heard by no one.

My words will become a directionless map lost in the forest of time.

My lungs shall collapse under the silence of this breath.

The pit I am dug into will be deep and dark.

The wave of intertwined dimensions has taken me ashore.

This life will just be another dream added to my collection.

My soul shall find another neighborhood to wander aimlessly with.

Therapy is my trauma.

08/22/2025 8:01pm

[siddhxartha]

I see deep & spiritual things. I peer into the unknown. This artistic expression is my own validation. I must spend this life in service of bringing this inner chaos into existence.

I wander into different dimensions. My soul explores the sub scapes of infinity. It is my destiny.

I witness spectrums beyond the eye can see. I fathom perspectives above human comprehension. My mind is limitless.

I am fated to be misunderstood. I am doomed to be disregarded. I am destined to tread alone on this path, for there is no one else like me.

I will never find love in reality, but only in fantasy. I shall be detested by society, yet forever embraced by chaos, for this is all that God has given me.

I will forever live the rest of my days deciphering this Eternal Void.

7/24/25 6:19pm

[siddhxartha]

Falling towards the south eats away at my mind. Looking into the back of my skull the strings that twist my heart. Droplets of blood highlight my scented trail of doom.

The singing of the sorrowful echo through the corridors. Glimpses of white cloaked ghosts creep around every corner. Counting step by step the numbers that bring me closer into this mad house; The inverted world choking on its horrid shrieks.

I am taunted with the lust of walking out the door, to a directionless path that promises the south. This shadow of the deep laughs maniacally around my dance of failure. My demonic puppeteer preys into this vulnerable soul with its gluttonous jaw.

There is no escape, yet only in death.

Into the mirror I stare at the invulnerable illusion that could have been; A life where fear was the only death. It’s become nothing more than a dead horse; a fainted dream to keep the hamster wheel turning.

I seclude from the repeating cycles into the paralysis of sleep. My dreams have betrayed my memory as of late, yet the creatures of dimensions beyond still soothe me in their whispers.

I am my own prisoner, held captive by the claw of fate. I am nobody.

5/28/25 2:20pm

[siddhxartha]

You ever felt like you really just didn’t belong?

You ever feel even alienated to your very own past?

You ever feel the darkened emptiness of the horizon just by looking into yourself?

You ever grasped the deepened blue sky as if it were only illusion?

Do you ever exist?

Somewhere deep in these mechanisms where even the cold resists to linger.

Something unreal that even challenges your very own humanity.

Somehow standing in the darkness the emotionless robot that is the reflection in the mirror.

Ancestry of mystery encoded in the microscopic ecosystem of our bodies.

Inheritance of electronic signals in the brain enslaved to repeat generational patterns.

Folkstories of delusion whispering in the ears of your self diagnosed psychosis.

Emerging out of the flame not as gold, but as burns and scars that scream of trauma.

Rebirth as a being not of light nor dark, but as a wavelength without form.

An afterlife of vibration, formless form like the solution to a paradox.

Return to infinity as your ashes scatter across the subspace of reality.

Escape the cycle.

Breathe backwards.

9/16/2024 6:08am

[siddhxartha]

I don’t know why, it’s that look on your face that reminded me of someone. Rather, it’s the same aching of your heart that’s the same aching I’ve been feeling until now. It’s funny, that even after the years the pain still throbs, and the wound remains unhealed. But we both know I never plan to allow myself to heal; for it will be so as long as I cannot forgive myself.

Diving into those painted eyes was much like viewing a mirror into the past. The hold you had on your face to keep it emotionless felt so familiar, and the struggle to keep your composure felt so meaningless. The feelings of loss we share do not pass with time, but rather stay as scars that remain a permanent fixture.

I could not help but mourn with you even through my silence. I weep not just for you but for us. I wail in sorrowful moans within the four corners of my mind; that neither of us ever take for granted the willingness to give away our hearts ever again.

[siddhxartha]

Fathomed if even, the tears shedded in hopes of reaching what is unfathomable. Like dozens of spiritual hands opening to grasp the sky, if even such a sky ever existed. Flooding the mind in the essence of darkness, if even such a body of water exists. Yet here we are, drowning in the abyss if even for the sake of it. Swapping between sanity and insanity like wearing a set of clothes if even. If even we as people truly exist, if even there was a way to know. If even we speak the truth, we fail to see the truth differentiated between you and I. If even we solved the paradox, the solution would only give birth a means to repeat the cycle. If even we escaped the cycle, we would lose the core fundamental to life,

the struggle.

9/20/23 3:48am

[siddhxartha]

I just don’t want to be alone anymore.

[siddhxartha]

If you can change yourself to the way you see fit then you are nothing more than a product. What differs you opposed to the materialistic world that changes itself according to our desires? To truly be yourself is to dispose of any external ideology within your mind that tells you to change. Simply put, such things that were not apart of us when we arrived to this planet do not belong to us.

Little did we know that growing up meant subjugating ones mind in accordance to the system of government one resides. Nature has always been either adapt or die. Yet in this case “death” can be the loss of modern convenience, social exclusion, homelessness, and especially loneliness. Yet once standing between the crossroads of either conforming or being our true selves, do we only then realize that it was never a choice to begin with. Having been born into the luxury of the 21st century, having been built upon the BILLIONS of deaths that came before our time, it’s hard-wired into our brains that thousands of years of human progress is just the bare minimum to those fortunate enough.

You don’t have to suffer any longer, nor shall you be forced to adapt a facade to mask your inner self. The sake of humanitarian order should not come at the expense of ourselves, nor shall it come at the expense of any future generations. To be forced systemic expectation down our throats, and to live under constant societal pressure makes us no different than sheep, herded at the mercy of the land from which we were unwillingly born.

[siddhxartha]

The world stopped existing about four years ago. You see, that’s when everything died. No, not in a physical sense— everything died in every way BUT physical.

There was a dream I had during that time where I died 17 times. It truly did reflect the state of mind I was going through. I’m not sure if it was because of the world, me, or a combination of both. Actually, I don’t even think I know a single thing about anything anymore. All of my knowledge died too when I had that dream, and ever since whenever I look at myself in the mirror,

all I see is a ghost.

Nothing has been the same ever since everything died. It’s crazy because you don’t even realize you’re actually dead until years later. (Again, not in the physical sense). I wonder if there are those like me out in this infinite void. I wonder if there are those who can look at a human and tell if they’re a walking bag of flesh or if there’s actually a soul in there.

I don’t know a single thing and I doubt I ever will.

8/31/23 10:06am

[siddhxartha]

Enlightenment does not exist.

This “enlightenment” spoken of in sentence, observed through language and understanding is but a tangible object even if not physical.

If one plans in advance, fabricates goals acting as steps to reach towards this “enlightenment”, then it is not enlightenment they wish to attain.

The same can be said for happiness, fulfillment, virtue; such concepts display themselves like art pieces, anchors of interpretation for each eye that wanders into view.

For if anything is to be considered truth then it must be beyond interpretation, beyond concept, beyond logic, beyond language, beyond understanding, beyond human.

And it is a very human thing to desire something we cannot.

[siddhxartha]

Dream 梦,

regret, past with confliction— death in the spiritual sense. Reality becomes not of which the eyes behold but rather the finger that points towards it.

They will lie to your face as if these

Memories 憶 never even existed. Embroidered in darkness lies our other halves we pretend don’t exist either.

But you can’t forget where it all started, you can’t forget how it never even started. To reach infinity is to be infinitely far away from where we even began;

and so we came from Nowhere 无

[siddhxartha]

You can erase color with darkness.

You have seen it, you cannot unsee it.

Here lies your hopes and dreams.

Waiting for your savior.

Stop trying to be so perfect.

Lose what you call “form” and return to infinity.

Perhaps it is the fear of death which brings us closer to life.

Leave your memories behind like droplets of rain rippling the surface of water.

Be confused.

Go backwards.

Don’t you dare hurt another soul.

4:44pm 7/19/23

[siddhxartha]

It’s been so long yet the embers still fall gracefully from the sun. Hot to the touch, burning beneath this tormented heart a memory of flame gasping for its last breath.

Has it really been that long? The burns remain bare to reveal the still wounded traumas of the days since past. Yet even as we dance in dreams within the presence of the moon, your beauty is just as divine as it were yesterday.

If only a memory, then let me live as if it were today. Allow me to fantasize about you a bit longer, even if it steals a piece from me every time I do.

~

[siddhxartha]

Waking up to a dream that squeezes your heart into ache, greeted by a text from someone who doesn’t even know you anymore.

The more the days pass the more convincing upside down is right side up.

Between a sandwich of knives with every breath inviting the blades closer to your heart. As if letting go of those vices was all you ever needed to do,

Yet they call you by your name as do the faces that witness you while you sleep,

As if the life you’ve always wanted is hysterically screaming inside your head, ensnared within the logical trap of a complete failure like yourself.

You wont ever find anything in the direction you’re heading.

~