It still messes me up that most of Xander’s actions and responses rely heavily on the fact that he’s crown prince of a rapidly declining country. He’s consumed by the necessities of having to fulfill the role that was set for him. Especially if we’re going to go into detail about the Concubine wars. It’s hardened him to a place that he has to cast personal feelings aside so much after losing siblings, retainers, his mother, etc. It’s only when he’s defeated in Birthright or after you have removed Garon from power in Conquest that he finally opens up a bit.
He’s able to finally express the disturbance he has with Nohr’s issues and the implications/causes of war. Because before then it wasn’t like he really had much of a choice to make a different decision. As he’s dying in Birthright he even admits that to Corrin.
He’s still very flawed and he still makes some awful mistakes, but I feel like if he didn’t have the weight of the crown looming so heavily above his head his positioning/reactions to things could be so vastly different.