[valtsv]

i wish i had a dick so i could experience erectile dysfunction

[valtsv]

how it feels when i remember that i'll never be able to get so drunk or sick or sad that my dick stops working

[pukicho]

If I wasn’t so sleepy you’d all be soo fucked

[noobkiller2009]

Just sleep

[pukicho]

There’s no fucking way that works

[fairycosmos]

what if i just manipulate reality with my mind and make everything perfect and good

[beefwizard91]

[wisedreamdelusion]

male rodent from Russia

this the first animal i never know till the year 2025

[atomic-clowns]

[nosfera-tits]

Basically I like when there’s garlic and onion

[doctor-doodleman]

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

[chilewithcarnage]

[retroject]

I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿

[scififantasystuff]

[sunlitmcgee]

@rozugold

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

The thing they don’t tell you about executive dysfunction and poor time management is that you will feel guilty every second of every day for your entire life.

[ondoinganevildeedblues]

you can tell a lot by a womans hands, for instance, she has hooves? horse. 

[bold-baddie]

[lanndscape]

[maliusaidh]

[televisionenjoyer]

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

[uredrunk]

[hotvampireadjacent]