America (Alfred F. Jones) General Relationship Headcanons
🍓When I remember I have free will and can do what I want, it's always a bad time for my blog. Anyway, hello, five remaining Hetalia fans!!! This was my FIRST fandom, actually fucking ever, so this kinda feels special for me. I don't expect much love for it, honestly, but I wanted to put it out there for myself. As for everyone else who follows me...... I'm like..... really sorry bro. I know I have other things to do, but I have a crush on Alfred Freedom Jones, and I need to get it out of my system right. neow.
TW: Discussions of death; I'm genuinely bullying this guy through 90% of these lol; references to American politics (sorry); Hetalia (yes this needs to be a tw)
Info: America x Reader; Gn!Reader; SFW; Hetalia x Reader
Word Count: 3k
-The United States of America. Yeah, alright, man, we get it.
-Good ol’ Alfred “Freedom” Jones is certainly an option, particularly since “freedom” is used rather liberally here. Whatever. Funny guy this one, elevator doesn’t quite go to the top floor, but he’s… sweet?
-Okay, okay, I’ll stop being an asshole. Alfie here has a big personality; he has to, of course, he’s the United States of Freaking America, how could he not? Best country in the world! (Sure.) Really, he could brag about himself for days on end and still be nowhere near finished.
-You’ve really gotta dismiss a lot of egoism with this one, and you’ve gotta have a lot of energy to keep up with him in that same thought. He’s, simply, a lot.
-He’s also maybe one of the most intelligent men you’ll ever meet, while equally being two sandwiches short of a picnic. He’s a goddamn pilot, for fucks sake, he’s got brains he just doesn’t like to use ‘em.
-Also, and I’m not sure if this is obvious yet, but he’s literally the United States of America. He’s got a lot going on.
-Romance, as might be expected, isn’t on this guy's radar. Definitely not with a human. C’mon, what do you take him as, some kinda weirdo anime trope? He knows what kinda moral issues pop up in that kinda power dynamic, he’s not that stupid.
-Lol.
-Y’know, he really doesn’t pay it much mind when he first starts feeling something for you. A little flutter in the stomach isn’t much. You were pretty, you were funny, he’s easy, whatever. No reason to get ahead of himself.
-He doesn’t realize he’s already tripped and fallen flat on his face in love with you, but don’t worry, the lights’ll turn on up there at some point.
-Now, it’s not uncommon for countries to have flings with humans or little fleeting crushes. With how long they’ve been around, most of them simply can’t avoid feeling a little something sometimes.
-It’s rarely ever more than fun, because they all know the end result. The human dies, they have to live with that for the rest of their miserably long existence. Human death isn’t something new, never will be surprising, but it’s never easy to lose someone they’ve created a connection with.
-Stupid as he may seem, Alfred doesn’t like that feeling much. Like a rock settled in his stomach, the closest thing to human depression he’ll ever get.
-But, he likes pretty girls and fast cars like any good American should. He allows himself to have fun, just… don’t let it get too deep.
-And, y’know, he’s been doing a lot better than his elders. Arthur’s lost more than his fair share of beloved humans, Francis loves his people to the point it nearly destroyed him more than once, but Alfred’s been doing good. Makes his connections, has his fun, and doesn’t think about it all that deeply.
-Ignorance is bliss, right?
-Yeah, that doesn’t work out too well for him in this case.
-For whatever reason, he just can’t avoid you. Your pretty little face always seems to be wherever he’s looking, and it’s driving him nearly mad. Moreso because he can’t seem to look away when it’s there.
-He closes his eyes, and he sees you behind their lids. He dreams about you when he goes to bed. He thinks about you when he’s bored and needs something to cheer him up. It’s always you, you, you.
-Boy, this love stuff isn’t for the weak, is it?
-Love stuff??
-Realization hits him like a truck, doomscrolling on his phone at 3 am. Is he in love? Like, really in love. Like, stupidly head over heels for you in love.
-He has to get up and do something when it hits, runs like twenty laps over and over just to think.
-Okay, so, he’s in love. Is that a bad thing? He could just ignore it.
-...
-…No, he can’t, he knows he can’t. He could try to, but a little tiny voice in his head is telling him that’s not the best idea. So what the hell does he do? He can’t be in love.
-In a very rare show of emotional intelligence (which he mostly lacks, sorry), he goes to Arthur in an even more rare case of vulnerability.
-He expects Arthur to berate him, or mock him, god knows he would do it. But Arthur doesn’t. There’s no snark or sass, more than his usual, at least, it’s gentle the way he handles him. Were it any other situation, Alfred might’ve found it insulting.
-The guy's been a goddamn global menace since his founding. He wasn’t some weak loser; he was a superpower. One of the most powerful, destructive countries in the world.
-Yet here he was, stuck in his head on his brother's couch like he was still that little kid from the 1700s. Because for once in his life, Alfred has to sit and think about something, and he’s not too good at doing that.
-Arthur knows the whole deal by this point. He’s loved too many humans to count, and he’s buried each of them with just as much care as he loved them. Doesn’t make it easy, especially if it's your first time in about 250 years of living.
-Gentleness isn’t really either of their styles, but it’s almost… nice, the talk they have. The way Arthur lays everything out to him so plainly, how good it feels to experience that kind of love. The kind that isn’t eternal, it’s not going to be there for the rest of his life, but when it is, it’s wonderful in a way words can’t describe. The pain he’ll feel when he loses you to time, the importance of remembering, always remembering.
-It’s kind of eye-opening to good ol’ Al. He’s never been one for those kinds of deep connections. Hell, the deepest connection he has (that isn’t some kinda familial) is with a guy his government dropped a bomb on. He’s good with planes, with guns, with fighting… not with feelings.
-But the way Arthur describes it, it almost sounds nice. Natural. Like some kind of dream come true. He likes the sound of it, but he’s still not sure of himself.
-Imagine that, an unconfident America. Sounds almost laughable, but even he can be a little nervous sometimes.
-He thinks it over for a little while, wondering if it was worth it in the end. Knowing that it would inevitably end in heartbreak, something he’s notoriously bad at handling.
-Yet, when you smile at him from across the room, he already knows the answer.
-How silly of him to be so caught up in this kind of thing. He was the United States of Freaking America; he always listened to his gut, and his gut knew what it wanted right now.
-So, he listens, and he tells you in no uncertain terms that he’s gonna take you out and treat you nice. Even more certain when he tells you you’re gonna love it so much you’ll be thinking about him ‘til heaven comes.
-There’s not an inch of doubt on his face when he does so, all confidence and pride. It’s hard to say no to him when he’s just so eager to please, and so you don’t.
-Now, Alfred is a really weird guy, whole personification thing aside. He does what he wants, and he gets what he wants, which leads to him being a bit… mmm… pushy? He’s not really used to respecting boundaries, or listening, or behaving, or… anything really.
-Simply put: he’s a brat.
-You gotta force him to stop, literally sometimes. Grab him by his shoulders and say, “Alfred, chill out.”
-He’s too overeager about all this “being in love” stuff, and he kinda full-throttles into it without thinking of what that’ll look or feel like for you. He’s riding a high, like he usually is, and he needs you to pull him down to earth and show him how to take it at an easy pace.
-It makes him antsy at first; he likes going full speed without looking back, but when you get him to slow down a bit, he kind of realizes… oh, this is actually nice? He notices little things he’d normally miss, like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, or how your laugh kind of reminds him of a songbird. Was living life full speed really making him miss so much?
-Yes, Alfred, yes, it was.
-Now he doesn’t suddenly become a patient person; that’s just never what he’s going to be, but he’s able to appreciate things a bit more with you around. Maybe it's just the fact that you’re there, and he loves you and wants to savor every moment with you, but he finds himself appreciating things a little more closely than he might normally.
-He tends to be pretty inconsiderate of you and your feelings, not on purpose, but because he doesn’t really think outside of himself often. He’ll just do things for you or without asking beforehand, and then get confused when you’re upset with him for it.
-However, he really wants to do things right, so in a particularly uncharacteristic move, he tries to correct his behavior as quickly as possible.
-You are probably the only thing in the world that can get him to behave other than his obligation to the US government. He doesn’t like upsetting you, doesn’t like it when you tell him off, so he listens to you like the good boy he is.
-He’s fairly busy, even if he seems airheaded; he’s constantly going and going and going thanks to his position dealing with different things for the government. He seems to have a never-ending supply of energy, he thought so too, but… well…
-You and he come to find out he doesn’t. Actually, he’s really fucking burnt out.
-Only realizes how bad about 250 years of non-stop going, spreading, and doing things has been on him when he comes home after a particularly exhausting meeting. His head was kinda hurting, his shoulders were tense, and he just wanted to sit on the couch and flip through shitty cable reruns until he melted away.
-Then he sees you, also tired and rushing around, worrying over what you wanted to eat when you didn’t want to cook. You smile at him, and you ask if he just wants to order out, and by God, he nearly melts to the floor.
-Pathetic as a wet dog as he lays his head on your lap, eating a copyright-friendly burger, you doordashed him while watching crime shows from the early 2000s like the lil champ he is.
-Genuinely so weak to your whims and wants, he’ll do whatever he’s asked. Well, not really, if he really doesn’t wanna do it, he’ll tell you outright he won’t be doing it. But I feel like that's surprisingly rare from someone as stubborn as him.
-He likes to see you happy, and even more so, his selfish ass likes it when you praise him for doing things you like. Even if it’s just a “this restaurant is really nice!” or “your jacket is super warm, thank you,” his tail is wagging.
-Now, Alfred, as one might expect, is a provider in the fullest use of the terms. He likes to be the one and only person you rely on for just about anything.
-He, whether you like it or not, is the breadwinner. He has no end of money he can spend how he pleases, not that he really ever tends to need to use it. Y’know, countries are paid a lot of money, but it really doesn’t mean much of anything in the end cause they’re also usually provided with whatever the hell they want. Materially, at least.
-You’re kind of his excuse to use it, lol.
-He likes to impress you with the things he can buy for you, and for a while, he thought that was fulfilling enough in the relationship. If you so much as looked at something for a little too long, he’d buy it for you, because he can do that, because he has the money to do it. Isn’t he cool? (Sure, bub)
-He doesn’t even care much if you use half of the things he gets you. God knows he doesn’t use most of his shit, he only wants you to have it so he can say he got it for you. Besides, isn’t it better to have it and only need it sometimes than not have it when you need it? Mmm.
-If you’re very adamant, and I mean very adamant, about him not spending so much on you, he’ll cut back. But like, he’ll still be buying you things he thinks you’ll like. It’s hard to stop the ultimate gift-giver from getting you gifts.
-Along this same line of thinking, though, Alfred is pretty physical. Which I think is obvious, considering how he acts in the show and the manga.
-Most of his physical affection is kind of rough, more like you’re one of the guys rather than his partner. He also doesn’t know his own strength, so often he’s literally suffocating you when he pulls you in for a bear hug. He’s an excited guy, and he loves to touch and hold his friends, so of course, he wants to hold you tight.
-He’s really not good at intimacy, at least not when he initiates it.
-He’s too big, too rough, too loud, too much. He knows it, and he really doesn’t mind those labels; it’s what makes him, him.
-Yet, with you, he finds himself wishing he were a little more like his brother. Quiet, gentle, all the things he’s really not. He feels guilty that he doesn’t know how to be loving and sappy in the way you see in all those romance movies.
-You’ve gotta reassure him that’s okay, because you’re with him for him, not for some guy that doesn’t exist outside of his head.
-And it’s not as if he can’t be intimate and enjoy loving moments with you. He can, he just doesn’t realize that he can.
-Intimacy with Alfred is watching movies and laughing about how bad they are, or crying because they’re such emotional hard hitters, and you guys feel okay crying in each other's arms over movies like that. Or it’s naps on the couch after long days where neither of you has the energy to think about anything other than holding one another. Or it’s even the way he makes a fool out of himself just to make you smile when you’re feeling down, because the only thing worse than him having a bad day is you having a bad day, and he can’t have that.
-These are all things that come naturally to him, and because they’re natural, he doesn’t think they’re special. Doesn’t think it's enough for you, but it is. It always was, and always will be.
-Believe it or not, Alfred tends to get rather jealous often. He doesn’t like to share your attention, and he will pout if you’re giving it to anyone for an extended period of time when it should be on him.
-He’s not entirely unreasonable, he doesn’t care much when it's your friends or his family, (unless it’s like obvious they’re interested). But when charmers like Feliciano or Antonio come at you with sweet words, knowing who you’re with. Kinda grinds his gears.
-Don’t worry, he’s easy (enough) to placate, just keep giving him attention, and he’ll crack eventually. What a loser.
-He tends to keep you and his work life separate, though. Proud as he is to be America, you don’t really have any business dealing with the things he does. Sometimes you’ll hear him complain about a particularly annoying day, but he tries his best not to let it bleed into your home life.
-Also, like, super protective. Constantly acting like a giant shield between you and anything he finds threatening. Particularly paparazzi, because you can’t avoid them even if he wishes you could, but also small things like the angry little Samoyed his neighbors keep, or the sun when it hurts your eyes.
-God forbid something actually happen to you. He’s always trigger-happy, but it's better that the world doesn’t find out what targeting his significant other will do.
-Last thing I want to acknowledge is, as I’ve vaguely referenced, is his family. They’re a mess, but very important to good ol’ Alfie, even if he won’t admit it.
-I personally fall in line with the idea that his family is France, England, Canada, and Seychelles, all of whom he loves quite a lot, even if that love doesn’t manifest normally. Countries are different than humans, after all.
-Being that Mattie is so close in relation, he introduces you to him first, and thank god he does because Mattie’s actually the only one willing to warn you about just how weird the other three are (other than Seychelles, she’s pretty normal actually).
-The family dynamic is more like watching various types of verbal abuse rapid fire across the room, which explains a lot about why Alfred is the way he is, but it’s pretty funny once you get used to it.
-What’s really important is that you get along with them. Very well. They’re very open and accepting of you, particularly Arthur, who can’t stop thanking you for putting up with America’s bullshit every day.
-They also like to get you random gifts. Usually, souvenirs or cute little trinkets, things you don’t really need, but it’s their way of showing they like you. It always seems to make Alfred smile when you put them on display, so it’s not so bad, right?
-Truthfully, Alfred is a bit of a weirdo, but he’s sweet, and he’s really honest with you. Maybe he’s not for everyone; he’s not for most people, but who he is for, he really is for.
-Treat him well, he loves you a lot more than you’ll ever know.
Could u pls write abt pervy things the brothers do… like before being in a relationship w them n stuff. Gulp
⛓️Pervy Things the Brothers did Before Getting with MC⛓️
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Featuring: The Demon Bros x MC (separately)
CW: Perverted demons, exhibition, m!masturbation, stealing clothes, dream manipulation in Belphie's part, jealousy, weird behaviour in general | MDNI!
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Lucifer:
⟶ He likes to act like he's above any perverted act before dating you, often drowning himself in more work to distract himself about any wandering thoughts. But to no avail most of the time.
⟶ Something Lucifer does is straight up kick the others out of the house but in the form of a distraction that appeals to all of them. That way, his brothers aren't a problem for him for a while and he gets a higher chance of encountering you wandering around the halls. It may seem silly and maybe even romantic, but he just likes to know that he's the only one you can talk to or look at until they come back.
⟶ Often takes the time to whisper even the shortest of words in your ear in a low tone that sounds slightly gravelly. He knows it makes you jump or even shiver, which only elicits a cruel chuckle from him. See, Lucifer's attempts are focused on trying to get you to be the one who's obsessed, but it's much clearer who's wrapped around whose finger.
⟶ Locks himself in his study while presumably filling out documents that cannot be rewritten, but you fill his senses strong enough for him to immediately get distracted. Lucifer often pleasures himself to imagining your voice calling his name or the way your face looks when you're blushing.
Mammon:
⟶ Mammon is stealing your clothes and acting all innocent, even playing the "hero" and offering his own to you. It may seem like he's worried about your clothes going missing and he assures you that it could've gotten mixed up with someone else's and it would take forever to find. So why not use his as a substitute?
⟶ He acts like the best caretaker in the world whenever he spends the night in your room to make sure you're safe. In reality, Mammon's really getting off to your scent in the entire room and contemplating laying down beside you until you wake up. Of course, he prefers not to risk your wrath if you do end up getting mad at him.
⟶ Mammon gets a bit more possessive which can be seen in the way he touches you. He holds your waist securely to guide you through hallways or crowds, glaring or growling at any demon that glances in your direction, especially his brothers. He even gives your waist or arm a good squeeze whenever he wants to feel you subtly.
Leviathan:
⟶ He's scrolling through Devilgram and even your messages with him, finding photos to save. Levi can recall your appearance perfectly, but he can get incredibly desperate when you haven't been to his room in a while or if you brushed up against him even slightly.
⟶ Leviathan's drawing and writing fanfiction about you two, which is something that he'd absolutely NEVER share to you. At least not technically. He'd give the characters different names with slightly altered personalities or speech but still mimic the two of you pretty damn well.
⟶ He's definitely THE thief for underwear. Stealing your clothes makes him feel extremely ashamed, but there's just something about the way you smell that drives him crazier than what the others would feel about your scent.
⟶ Definitely plays those eroge games or watches those anime with characters that specifically look like you. Every time he does, Levi has to put extreme care into monitoring his browser history and his volume is either muted or his headphones are plugged in. It'd be such a shame if you walked in on him during a moment like that...
Satan:
⟶ Satan would still be particularly new to the idea of relationships and desires before you and that all he knew is that he wanted you, really bad. He becomes more possessive but tries to act like he's above his clear desire to be near you or feel your warmth against him.
⟶ Goes from offering to help you with homework to folding your clothes or doing your laundry. At least he tries to make himself helpful in attempts to get closer to you. It's more on the cuter side than perverted, at least. Until you realize some of your favourite articles of clothing go missing.
⟶ Sometimes, he might recommend romance books with smut, alluding to its mature content slightly. Does it with a straight face as well, but smirks to himself when you tell him there's graphic content after reading it. This can go two ways depending on how he's feeling. Satan could play it off as cool as he can, teasing you by asking you if you get flustered that easily by a simple paragraph. Or he gets embarrassed, acting like he didn't know that was in the book, or that he simply forgot. He is NOT slick.
Asmodeus:
⟶ It shouldn't be any surprise that Asmo is SHAMELESS when it comes to expressing his desire for you. He's just much more experienced in managing the emotions and suppressing them. He's often asking highly detailed, personal questions and offering to shower or sleep together. Not even making any excuses, straight up telling you it's so he can admire you in different angles.
⟶ He's a bit of an exhibitionist. Usually he's wearing quite revealing outfits and asking to match, or he might even touch himself in his room, moaning loud enough for you to hear every time you pass by his door. Which is also slightly ajar.
⟶ Openly flirting with you no matter the circumstances. You guys could be in the middle of a RAD student council meeting and he's nudging you with his elbow or foot while smiling devilishly whenever you glare at him.
⟶ Asmo would give you a bottle of his favourite perfume or cologne that he's wearing at the moment. It's easy to interpret it as him being nice and wanting to share something that's important to him, or he just gets easily jealous and wants his scent on you at all times.
Beelzebub:
⟶ Beel doesn't really do much perverted stuff before dating you, not because he thinks he's above it, but he just doesn't get that desire as strongly and is more afraid about making you mad or hurting you. But there are still some times he finds hard to hold back.
⟶ Invites you to join him whenever he works out. It can be mainly seen as wanting you around doing an activity he likes and wanting you to be active as well, but there's more to it. You both have to wear clothes that aren't restricting and show more skin in order to avoid overheating and you two will be sweating, a lot. Being surrounded by all... that tension, it gets him aroused too fast.
⟶ Gets entranced watching you eat a food that can be easily be fantasized about. Like popsicles, bananas, or anything similar. He gets hungry, unsure of who he wants to be more. You, or the food...
Belphegor:
⟶ Much like Asmodeus, Belphie's kind of an exhibitionist. But he's not as elaborate as him. He leaves the door open when touching himself or "forgets" to put a shirt on properly, under the guise that he's just too lazy. But you'd know at this point that he's totally trying to distract and fluster you.
⟶ Hides any warm clothes, blankets, or pillows of yours so you have no choice but to confront him about it and ask if he knows where they are. He always has a smug answer like "No. But now that you're here and there's blankets too..."
⟶ Gives you wet dreams, definitely. He wants you craving him deeply, even if it's early in the morning and RAD is in two hours. Belphie does this when he can't sleep too and instead of going up to ask you to cuddle him to sleep, he practically enters your dream and cling onto you there.
⟶ Also does the dream manipulation when you've gotten too close to one of his brothers, making sure you only remember when you talked and laughed with him and nobody else when you wake up. If you asked him about it, he'd only respond by asking if you're missing him too much. He's such a brat, loving to elicit reactions from you.
