Hm, i think i still need one of these, so ya'll know what to expect here, huh? Well, here we go i guess.
Contents i post:
- gender neutral reader inserts (i'm doing my best to make them as neutral as possible, feel free to let me know if anything slips past though or if i need to add any tags you might want to block)
- silly little ideas for fanfics or just dumb little scenario ideas
- me crying over how a character could have been good if only these very specific things happened to help them along, in this essay i will- *dragged away from the stage*
Fandoms: (subject to change as my interests fixate on other stuff too)
- Genshin Impact
- Pokemon
Possible warnings: (i usually prefer more light hearted stuff but just to be safe)
yandere, possessive, jealousy, unhinged delulu characters, (but like soft versions of those who'd never hurt their love), monster love, possibly gore & death but probably not much, probably ooc, irregular posts, sometimes adult themes
Probably not very suited for minors, so if you're a minor, please come back once you're older if you still want to read my stuff then..i know my writing is usually more on the tame side but i'd still feel bad if a kid or teen took my writings the wrong way.
Disclaimer: I do not approve of or condone any morally unsound stuff that may be depicted, i just like reading & writing weird stuff sometimes. Please heed the tags and block as needed. It's important to keep yourself safe from things you know you can't handle. Please let me know if i need to add any tags for this. <3
What you won't see here:
Anything to do with pregnancy or having children, non-con, smut, very graphic descriptions of gore and death
I think that's it for now. If you have any questions or something, my asks are open now.
Have these while i still avoid even looking at my written wips. ..I think it's pretty obvious which one was more fun for me to draw lmao. Tried practicing human Kaeya & honse, got frustrated and needed to do a dragon version to recharge.
Maybe i should try to figure out how to get skin tones to look okay while i'm at it as well. I still have much to learn and the list is only getting longer.
Oh and happy pride month everyone! 🌈 Kaeya boi giving me bi vibes so i tried to do a thing. Not sure if i'm happy with it but eh. Maybe i should have added wings based on his little cape..next time maybe.
Your relationship with the two men had always been unconventional. Frowned upon even, but the opinions of others had never mattered much to you.
Your parents always said you had a big heart. Apparently, it was big enough to fit both Mydei and Phainon. And both men loved you to the moon and back. That should have been enough. Right? Apparently not.
Late into the night, you lay wide awake in bed. Mydei slept on your right, snoring loud enough to shake the windows. Phainon slept on your left, mumbling something incoherent about swords and training. Somehow, both men appeared perfectly at peace. You, however, were suffering from curiosity that was eating away at you.
“If I turned into a worm would you guys still love me?”
Mydei stopped cleaning his spear. Phainon lifted his gaze up from his book. The two men exchanged a look from across the room. Neither spoke.
Then finally, Mydei rolled his eyes. “I’m not answering that.”
“Baby if you’re bored we could take a walk out in town together.” Phainon took your hand in his, entwining your fingers together.
Phainon brought you to a lovely restaurant while Mydei ordered all your favorite dishes. They succeeded in distracting you for the rest of the evening.
Unfortunately for them, your curiosity remained unsatisfied.
The next morning began like any other morning. You woke up, enjoyed breakfast together. Then you kissed them both on the cheek and wished them a good day ahead as they left to fulfill their Chrysos Heirs duties.
Both men heaved a sigh of relief as they stepped out of the house. The last time you had asked a rhetorical question—
"If I was dying and you had to kiss another girl to save me, would you do it?"
Neither answer satisfied you. The silent treatment that followed lasted for an entire week. It was a week neither man wished to relive.
Having successfully survived your latest hypothetical question, both men had assumed that the worst was behind them.
They were wrong. The house was suspiciously quiet. It was strange not having you ambush them at the door with a hug the moment they stepped inside.
“y/n?”
No response.
Mydei immediately tensed, his sharp gaze sweeping across the room.
The front door was still locked. Nothing appeared disturbed. Yet something felt wrong.
“y/n?” Mydei called out again.
Silence.
The valuables remained untouched and your belongings were exactly where you had left them. Your clothes were neatly folded in the drawers. The jewelry they had gifted you sat atop your vanity. Even your bag still hung by the door.
“Baby?” Phainon stepped further into the house. A bright purple bottle with no labels sat on the coffee table. His gaze fell to the worm beside it and he froze. “Mydei!” Panic rose as he lifted the bottle up to his nose. The putrid smell had him gagging.
“What is that?” Mydei pointed to the suspicious bottle. “It smells dangerous.”
Phainon's gaze drifted from the bottle back to the worm beside it. A horrible thought crossed his mind.
“y/n?” The worm wiggled. The two men exchanged questioning looks.
“y/n?” The worm wiggled again.
“...”
“...”
“It moved.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“If I turned into a worm would you still love me?” The memory hit them like a freight train.
The next hour was complete chaos, as the two listed questions that neither could answer.
How could the potion's effects be reversed?
What was the lifespan of a worm?
Could worms recognize their loved ones?
Most importantly, where was the worm going?
The tiny creature had somehow escaped the coffee table and was inching closer and closer towards the door.
“She's making a break for it!” Phainon lunged. “Careful!” Mydei nearly tackled him to the ground. “You almost stepped on her!”
“I did not!” Phainon huffed.
“You absolutely did!” Carefully Mydei scooped the worm up into his hands. “I've got you.”
Day 1
A day later, the worm was absolutely thriving in its new habitat.
Filled with moist soil, vegetable peelings, a custom throne and a knitted blanket, it was significantly more luxurious than most homes in Okhema.
“Don't you think that's a bit much?” Phainon pointed at the bright red crystal throne sitting proudly in the center of the glass habitat.
“She's my princess, she deserves it.”
Phainon glanced at the knitted blanket that he had personally made.
“She does deserve nothing but the best.”
Day 2
“Alright baby, what do you want for dinner?” Phainon carefully placed the worm on the dining table so the three of you could still eat together like usual. “The decaying apple or the lettuce?”
“You know,” Mydei said as he stirred the pot, “if you were human, you'd be having homemade dumpling soup tonight.”
The worm stopped moving. Phainon immediately glared at him.
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“You're upsetting her.”
The worm continued to remain perfectly still.
“Look, she's devastated.”
Day 3
“If she remains a worm...”
“Don't.” Phainon glanced at the mountain of books scattered across the floor. “We'll find a solution.”
“We need to be realistic.”
Mydei tapped gently against the glass of the habitat. The worm wiggled in response.
Silence settled between them.
For a moment, neither spoke.
They watched as the worm burrowed into the soil, completely unbothered by the crisis unfolding around it.
"...Should we enlarge her habitat?"
“Probably. She'll need more room to grow.”
A pause.
“Would the wedding ring go around her middle?”
Phainon stared at him. Then he glanced at the worm. A horrible realization struck him. How were they supposed to walk down the aisle without accidentally stepping on you?
“...I hadn't considered that.”
“I'll speak to a goldsmith tomorrow.”
“You think they make rings for worms?”
“I think they're about to.”
Day 4
“Mydei!!!”
Bursting out of the bathroom with soap suds still in his hair and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, Mydei nearly slipped as he ran into the hall.
“I can't find y/n!” Phainon was as pale as a sheet of paper as he crawled out from under the bed.
“I told you to keep the lid close.”
“I took her out. She looked bored and I only turned around for a while.”
The two of them tore the entire house apart. Not a single inch was left unchecked.
“I found her!” There was the worm, taking an afternoon nap behind a flowerpot. Phainon heaved a sigh of relief. “I should have known. She loved flowers.”
Very carefully, Phainon scooped the worm into his hands. “Young lady, if you run away again you're grounded.” The worm wiggled.
Mydei frowned as he watched the one sided conversation. “You've been hogging her.”
Phainon instinctively curled his fingers a little closer around the worm.
“I have not.”
“When was the last time that I got to hold her?”
“Yesterday? For a whole good three minutes.”
“You timed it?”
“I have a schedule.”
“You made a schedule?”
“It helps us split our time fairly. Since y/n can't actually tell us whose palm she prefers.”
Mydei stared at him in disbelief. At that moment the worm wiggled off Phainon’s hand and inched its way closer to Mydei.
“Missed me, haven't you?”
Mydei smirked. Phainon pouted.
Day 5
“Fresh air is important.”
“No.”
“But she hasn't left the house since…”
“No.”
“She's probably tired of staring at the same old scenery."
“No.”
Phainon carefully lifted the worm out from its habitat.
Mydei was already regretting this as he tagged along.
The two of them sat outside beneath the shade of a large tree. Birds chirped peacefully overhead.
The worm appeared content.
“See?” Phainon smiled. “She likes it.”
The worm wiggled.
“She agreed with me.”
“She absolutely did not.”
The worm continued inching across Phainon's palm.
A shadow passed overhead.
Neither noticed, both engrossed with the wiggling worm.
The shadow grew larger and larger.
Then suddenly—
A blur of black feathers shot down from the sky. In the blink of an eye, the worm was gone.
Phainon stared at his empty palm.
Mydei stared at his empty palm.
The crow soared off into the distance with something dangling from its beak. Something pink and small. Something very worm-shaped.
“No no no.”
The words came out as little more than a whisper. As Phainon’s brain struggled to process what had just happened.
“NO!”
Phainon took off running with Mydei following close behind.
“Mydei!”
“I see it!”
The chase that followed would later be described by witnesses to Aglaea as a deeply concerning behavior for members of the esteemed Chrysos heir.
A flock of birds scattered. A vegetable cart overturned. A kissing couple was knocked apart.
Several citizens were forced to leap out of the way. But none of it mattered to them. The bird had y/n. They had to get the worm back no matter the cost.
“GET BACK HERE!”
“STOP THIS INSTANT!”
The crow continued flying, completely unbothered by the two men screaming after it from the streets below.
Three hours later.
They had lost the crow.
Silence hung heavily in the house.
Neither man spoke.
The glass habitat sat empty on the table. The tiny throne remained untouched. The knitted blanket folded neatly in the corner. Phainon stared blankly at the enclosure.
“We failed her.”
Mydei closed his eyes.
“We did.”
“We were supposed to keep her safe.”
“It wasn't your fault. I should have insisted..”
“I had one job.”
Phainon’s voice cracked as his throat tightened. Mydei stared up at the ceiling, willing his tears not to fall. If he started crying too, neither of them would recover from this.
Silence returned.
Then they heard the sound of the door opening. Both men froze. Slowly. Very slowly. They turned around.
There you stood at the doorway. Slurping on a cup of milk tea. Unharmed and perfectly alive.
“B-baby?”
“Hi I'm–” You paused, frowning at their teary red eyes. “Wait, are you two crying?”
Then you noticed the huge glass habitat on the coffee table. "And we've got a new pet?”
It took a whole lot of comforting and reassurance that you were alive and well before you managed to dig out the full story from both men.
“You both thought I was a worm for four days?!”
“Five days...” Phainon muttered, his face turning redder by the second.
“The evidence seemed compelling,” Mydei said defensively. The words sounded less convincing the second time around.
“What evidence?” You looked from Mydei to Phainon and back again. “Grandma fell sick so I left in a hurry and forgot to tell you about it.”
This was getting more confusing by the minute. You wondered if you'd somehow stumbled into an alternate universe where you had, in fact, become a worm.
Both men pointed at the purple bottle simultaneously.
“Oh.” You blinked. “That was a sample drink from the store downtown. They were still working on the packaging.”
“B-but the liquid smelled terrible!”
“It probably went bad.” You shrugged. “It was supposed to be refrigerated.”
Silence.
Mydei slowly turned to look at Phainon.
Phainon slowly turned to look at Mydei.
Neither spoke.
“In my defense, you agreed with me without questioning it.”
Myedi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don't.”
The tension in the room was palpable. Mydei was holding back the overwhelming urge to strangle the man beside him and then himself.
Phainon, meanwhile, was dying of embarrassment from the sheer stupidity of the entire situation.
But none of that seemed to matter to you. Your eyes widened. A grin slowly spread across your face.
“Aww. So you would love me even if I turned into a worm!”
.
.
.
Later that night, two pairs of strong arms surrounded you as the three of you lay in bed.
Neither man had been willing to let you out of their sight for the entire day.
The house was peacefully quiet when your curiosity got the better of you again.
“But if I had turned into a snail—”
Phainon leaned over and kissed you before you could finish your sentence.
On your other side, Mydei tightened his grip around your waist, pressing a trail of kisses against your neck.
No. Absolutely not. They were never revisiting another hypothetical question ever again.
I need to get a dragon form Zhongli plushie and lovingly craft a little bracelet with cute beads for him, including little stars, hearts and those letter beads. But instead of his name or whatever i will spell out "old lizard" (affectionate)
I need to get a dragon form Zhongli plushie and lovingly craft a little bracelet with cute beads for him, including little stars, hearts and those letter beads. But instead of his name or whatever i will spell out "old lizard" (affectionate)
hi pearly! this is my req for your music of the night event, kaeya + harmonica (term of endearment) plus lots of teasing and just cute moments, thankies!
Someone said cute? We attempt to make funny. Also sounds like a perfect opportunity to torture Diluc hehe
Btw this was written before Varka's return to Mond, thus, Kaeya is still horseless.
Could you please stop?
pairing: Kaeya x fem!reader
prompt: term of endearment
word count: 1.1+ words
~ The Music of the Night event ~
“You are such a Fancy Face~”
“You are not so bad yourself, Mr Cheeky~”
Diluc closes his eyes, mourning the inability to cover his ears too. Why, just why does his brother always insist on raising his blood pressure by settling at the bar counter and shamelessly flirting with you? Every. Single. Time. At least when Diluc is the one serving.
“Spicy boy~”
“Sugar girl~”
And what are these nicknames?? Okay, yes, it always starts tame, like you lovingly address each other as ‘darling’ or ‘beloved’, as he would expect of a couple, but as the evening progresses and transforms into the night, it gets wild and beyond his imagination. ‘Hottie Hottersen’? ‘Future Grandmaster Yummy’?? What are even those???
“Do you want a sip of my drink, my Unhinged Queen?”
“I’d be delighted, my Horseless Knight~”
Celestia above, give him patience. Yes, patience, because if the skies gave him strength, Diluc would send Kaeya flying straight to where his horses are - which is conveniently so very far away from his tavern.
You? You are good, he likes you. It’s not your fault, the redhead is convinced that the Cavalry Captain’s (horseless haha– ahem, okay, that’s actually funny) antics have long rubbed on onto you. His future sister-in-law can never do anything wrong on her own accord.
“Hey, Diluc, do you mind mixing another one for me and my Kissing King who holds the keys to the treasure chamber that is my heart?”
…maybe he should go back on his last statement. Holy church of Barbatos, and here he is trying to defend you to his own mind, could’ve helped him a little.
“...Sure.”
“What’s wrong, Diluc?” You blink, confused, but the slight worry in your voice doesn’t escape his attention. “Long shift? I don’t mean to sound offensive, but you don’t look really well.”
“Yeah, you look like you’ve swallowed something very unsavory and then saw a bunch of Fatui soldiers,” Kaeya smirks, lowering the now empty glass and sliding it to the side. Then he plants his elbow on the counter and puts his chin on the palm, half turning to you. To Diluc’s horror he opens his mouth, undoubtedly in preparation to spew another crazy nickname.
He can’t handle this anymore.
“Glad to know you classify yourself as ‘unsavory’ and ‘a bunch of Fatui soldiers’, Kaeya,” the tavern owner deadpans, but there is hardly conveyed desperation behind his blank tone. “Could you please stop?”
“Stop what?” You blink, even more confused, glancing between the two men. Your lover chuckles, reaching out his unoccupied hand and gently running the fingertips up your cheek.
“My brother means to say,” he tucks the strand of loose hair behind your ear and then boops your nose, “that he is fed up with our flirting, shmoopsie.”
“...what is even this word?”
“But it’s not our fault his sorry ass is single, right, pirate booty?”
“First of all, don’t assume things - you have no proof of whether I’m courting someone or not,” the redhead pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a brief moment, and somehow misses how Kaeya puffs up his chest and does a silly gesture with his hand, mouthing ‘courting’ mockingly, making you giggle. “Second of all,” he picks up the ingredients for your drinks, “I’m bewildered by the terms of endearment you two use, if they even can be called that. You sound like you are trying to insult each other.”
“Listen, you don’t beat your bachelor allegat– ow!”
“Silence, love,” you nudge his side with an elbow, sending your friend an apologetic look. Alright, he likes you again. “Sorry, Diluc, I tend to forget that you are used to the things that are more…”
“Old-fashioned?” Kaeya snickers and then immediately yelps, when you dig the sharp edge of your arm firmer into his ribs.
“I wanted to say chivalrous,” you roll your eyes halfheartedly. “We are not trying to insult each other, trust me. Simply testing the capability of our imagination.”
“...uh-huh,” he hums, not quite convinced, but having accepted the strange way your brain works. Then he slides your glasses forward.
For a couple minutes the air between you three is filled with a comfortable silence. You suck on the straw happily, having leaned onto your boyfriend’s shoulder, as he’s wrapped an arm around yours, sipping on his own drink. Diluc has busied himself with washing glasses and then an order for two tables on the second floor, temporarily taking off his mind from the verbal nonsense-filled duel his two patrons had minutes prior.
He doesn’t even react when they start whispering among each other.
“He’s hilarious, isn’t he?” the knight murmurs into your hair, not wasting an opportunity to kiss your temple.
“Way to tell me you’ve specifically been choosing his shifts and these exact stools to occupy,” snorting, you bring down your half-empty glass. “When did you notice his peculiar reaction to our sweet-talking?”
“Mmm… two months ago when we stopped by the winery to bring Adelinde the souvenirs we got in Sumeru and he happened to be there too. He was visibly cringing, especially when I was calling you ‘my favorite heatstroke’ and ‘the one who lives in my bones’. To the first one he looked like he was offended for your honor, and to the second he was blinking ridiculously like an owl.
“Wow, how weirdly specific. But I’m sure I said some…stuff too, so it’s on both of us.”
“You know me, always paying attention to any moment you are involved in, snowflake,” he winks - well, you think he does - and salutes you with his glass. You can’t help but smile, responding in kind.
“I’m touched, it’s like I am dating the embodiment of romance.”
“Obviously. Why else would Donna take notes every time we are exchanging our cute loving petnames?’
“What.”
Oh, looks like Diluc is back to being the participant of your conversation. And, honestly, you start to feel kinda sorry for him - you can’t say you’ve ever seen so many shades of distress on his face in the span of just one hour.
Of course, Kaeya is going to end him.
“Didn’t you know?” your boyfriend is blinking in such feigned surprise, that would’ve gone perfectly with a loud gasp. “Okay, then listen. I accidentally stumbled upon her notebook a week ago. Left it open on the bench next to the Cat’s Tail - I had to check the contents to find out to whom it belonged. And ooooh boy, she’s been diligent. Moreover, she actually upgraded some of them! For example–”
Alright, a mental note to avoid Donna if she ever gets a partner. Like, good for her, splendid even.
But he doesn’t think he’ll survive another couple like his brother and his girlfriend.
Sorry no fanfiction today. Been in a bit of a slump with writing lately.
Feeling my hands and brain itch to try to learn how to draw people and horses just to give Kaeya his horses back. ..neither are going well tbh, people and horsies are kinda hard to draw. Proceeds to doodle dragons instead. Task failed successfully, oop.
Maybe writing it down somewhere, where someone will see will give me enough motivation to continue? Got any reccomendations for finding reference pictures? Especially like with human horse interactions? Or is that still too ambitious at the moment? I usually prefer referencing the real thing when possible but all i got is a little plastic horse, a pencil and a dream lol.
Various characters: Venti, Kaeya, Diluc, also Zhongli but he's only mentioned briefly (intended as x reader but can be read as platonic too maybe?)
Other characters: Fischl, Lisa, Donna (no shipping intended here aside from Donnas one sided self ship we all know about)
Tags:
Silly ideas, gender neutral reader, reader insert, not really written out just jumbled notes, alcohol mention
Notes:
help i think my humor might be broken, the horrors of knowing someone writes fanfiction about you and that they will share it with everyone, Venti being a mischievious little menace as a form of affection
---
Venti, who snatched up your phone a moment ago: wdym u got 69 finished fanfics about that old lizard but only 1 unfinished draft about me? (he whines)
Venti: we need to change this
You, panic mode activated: Venti nO
Venti, already writing stuff about you and him with the intention to post it all on your account: Venti yes, ehehe~
(say goodbye to your phone until he is satisfied with the amount of stuff about u both, they will be popular too bc he is a good writer lol)
---
You: i'm doomed
Kaeya, trying to be comforting: now now, it can't be that bad
You: Venti is writing fanfiction about me
Kaeya, winces: nevermind you're doomed
---
You, at the tavern: (looking like a pathetic wet cat)
Diluc: ..rough day?
You:
Diluc, already making u a hot chocolate: got it.
Kaeya: better add a shot to it
Diluc: no why would i do that
Kaeya: Venti is writing fanfiction about 'em
Diluc, distant expression on his face: ...
(He is having flashbacks to the past fanfiction incident (tm) that was basically just Donna writing a thinly veiled self insert about Diluc and then the pages got strewn all over Mondstadt during the storm terror incident. People still find pages of it sometimes, Donna is horrified about the possibility of certain pages being found at some point and so is Diluc. Some people seem to think it's a scavenger hunt and that scares them even more.
Fischl is secretly collecting them and getting people to give the pages to her. She likes a good fanfiction okay lol. She just needs to know what happens next. Lisa is watching the chaos with great amusement. She is also teaching Fischl how to bind the pages into a proper book.)
So much stuff happening in Mondstadt lately..
..hm, must have been the wind, eheh.
---
Bonus:
Diluc: i fear no man
The super secret smut page from Donnas fanfiction about him: exists
Diluc, visibly uncomfortable: but this ..thing
(he needs to see it burn or he will not be able to sleep peacefully ever again)
gender neutral reader, heat cycles exist for people and affect everyone, suggestive themes but no actual sex, hurt/comfort, adult content, slight angst ?, kinda sagau & isekai but that's not the main focus, probably ooc oops
Notes:
About bodily functions that one might not want and how horrible it can be to feel horny when you really don't want to feel like that. Kaeya is a good boi
Adult content ahead, click read more if you wanna see it. Maybe look elsewhere if u do not. Thanks.
A peaceful night in Mondstadt. The only disturbance being an odd golden light that lit up the city for but a moment and faded soon after. Kaeya felt a familiar tug in his chest at the sight. ..this could be interesting.
Your heart was beating so fast one might think it was trying to escape from your ribcage. What just happened? Where were you? Why did these buildings seem so..familiar? And why did you feel so warm and weird all of a sudden? This was not ideal. Not at all.
Some creepy treasure hoarder had followed you as you wandered around in a daze. You ended up knocking them out with a flower pot you found nearby. Just in case. You certainly didn't wanna get robbed or murdered tonight, thank you very much.
Seeing a generic treasure hoarder did feel weird though. Just what was going on?
Kaeya chuckled, visible eye lighting up with recognition. Found you. The scent of an oncoming heat wafting in the air did give him a little pause though.
"Ah, so you are the little disturbance i felt earlier." He stepped around the treasure hoarder on the ground towards you.
"Fancy finally meeting you. Glad to know you're not as helpless as i expected." He held out his hand for you to take.
"Come on, let's get you somewhere safe. You shouldn't be wandering around in such a state."
Your brain needed a moment to compute seeing Kaeya right there like this. It was him, no doubt. He was even more handsome without a screen separating your worlds. Were you..dreaming perhaps? You had to surpress the urge to touch his face and take a closer look. Why you even had the compulsion to do so, well.. you choose not to dwell on that for now.
You decided to trust him and took his hand, after all you already knew him. Kind of. And he seemed to be similarly familiar with you as well. What a strange dream.
As you two walked, Kaeya glanced towards you with a twinkle in his eye. "..i didn't expect to actually meet you in person. To what do i owe the pleasure? And why are you out here in such a vulnerable state? Shouldn't you be hiding behind that fourth wall of yours?"
You paused, visibly confused why you weren't back at your home anymore. "I'm not sure myself as to what's going on here..also uh, vulnerable state?"
"You're going into heat." He said it like it was normal.
You blinked, a pit forming in your stomach. "Wait what?! That stuff is real over here?! And happening? To me??!"
He raised an eyebrow at you. "..you can't tell?"
You looked away awkwardly, thoughts already racing with many very uncomfortable thoughts. To say you were alarmed was an understatement. Perhaps it was a good thing you had knocked out that weirdo from earlier..
His expression softened. The look on your face must have given you away. "..i'll keep you safe, don't worry."
You knew he would. He was a good boy.
He took you to his home and let you get situated in his guest room.
And yet, he kept his distance for now. He helped, yes, but he also kept a safe distance, probably to not make you feel any more uncomfortable than you already were. ..you kind of wished he'd get a little bit closer, actually. But maybe that was just this weird heat thing talking. You wished the heat would just go away.
Either way, you appreciated him acting mostly normal around you. Well, as normal as Kaeya got. It was reassuring. He had left to grab some things for you, saying you should try to get some sleep in the meantime.
You did actually manage to sleep for a bit but woke up from a rather, ahem, spicy dream, clothes soaked through with something uncomfortably slimy..eugh..oh no. Oh no no no..
And as if that wasn't already bad enough, fate didn't seem to be on your side today either..
Kaeya knocked at the door.
"I brought you some heat relief medication. Are you decent? Can i come in?"
Your blood ran cold, looking down at your more than wet clothes, the slimy soaked bedsheets and then back towards the door with mounting horror. This was it, you were the worst guest and he was gonna kick you out for leaking weird heat slime all over the previously clean sheets. Surely he'd lose all fondness and respect he held for you if he saw you like this. Your thoughts were already spiraling down the drain.
He called out your name. No reply. Maybe he should peek in, just to make sure you were alright..
The door swung open. (he got worried when you didn't answer okay)
Kaeya paused, blinking at the scene with his single eye, the thick scent of your slick in the air basically slapping him in the face as he asessed the situation.
"..ah." he cleared his throat before continuing to speak "Don't worry about the mess, i can change the sheets while you freshen up. Let me grab you some clean clothes.."
It took you a moment to realize he didn't seem upset with you at all. After all, your soul just almost left your body when the door opened and ..yeah. Huh. The walk to the bathroom was still very awkward for you though.
Later, you laid curled up in bed. Now with clean sheets and clothes once again. You still felt off but the meds he had given you earlier seemed to keep the worst of it at bay. He had even stayed put for your comfort this time. Whatever that meant.
Some time later, a hot, sharp tingle started to wrack your body in incereasing waves. You might have whimpered too but that was lost on you due to the overwhelming sensations as you curled up into a ball. Had the medication worn off already? Was it getting worse? You really wanted to disappear at this point.
"Need some help with that?" Kaeya oh so helpfully offered. A shiver ran down your spine as your mind went to whatever omegaverse fanfiction you had last read..
"No no no, stay away i don't need any 'help'!" You hid underneath the blankets. If heats in Teyvat were anything like the ones in those stories..you didn't even want to think about it. Nope. Not happening.
Kaeya sighed softly. "You're suffering. The meds i gave you can only do so much. It's okay to accept help now and then, you know."
"But i don't want to do..that." You were close to tears. He could tell from the way your voice wavered and broke, even when muffled by the blanket.
And then it dawned on him, you didn't actually know anything about heats and how to deal with them, did you? This was your first one, wasn't it? He sighed softly.
"Starlight, that's not the only way to help with it..we don't need to do anything naughty to help you. Being close to someone you trust is usually enough to calm the symptoms, especially if you take your meds on time."
You blinked the tears away. "..it's that easy?"
Kaeya nodded, even smiling when you peeked out from the blankets.
"Yes. Promise. I won't do anything you don't want me to." He really did seem to mean it too.
You reached out to him shakily. "..alright."
He hesitated before moving closer to gingerly pet your hand, giving you ample time to pull away if you wanted to. Huh, this was nice. And much more tame than whatever horror scenario had been playing in your brain. His hand was slightly cold to the touch, very pleasant actually while you felt like you'd catch fire any moment.
Your face was burning up, it was only logical that you'd pull on his hand to press it against your face. The relief was instant, for both the overheating and the pain. But still not enough it seemed..
You were still quite a mess though and pulled him in for snuggles at some point. The whole thing was mortifying but it was so nice to have him there to cool you down from overheating and ease the ..ahem, pain as well. You were pretty sure he was using his vision to keep you comfortable.
You were lucky to have him. He was such a good egg. You ended up asking a bunch of probably weird questions that seemed important to you at the moment. Kaeya took it in stride and answered them all. He even told you a bit about his own heats and how he usually dealt with the symptoms. You fell asleep while learning more about this weird heat thing this way, taking the scary out of the topic was very reassuring.
You snuggled closer, nuzzling your face into his chest in your sleep. Kaeya's heart skipped a beat, expression softening as he gazed at your sleeping form. You trusted him so easily, a stray thought of his telling him that he didn't deserve such trust. But even so, he still wanted to keep you safe and happy. He still wanted your trust and affection, even when he thought he didn't deserve any of it.
sexual themes but no actual sex, non sexual intimacy, implied heat/rut cycle for Zhongli, implied bad past experiences for reader (with someone else, not Zhongli), gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort
Notes:
he knows your tells & respects your boundaries, he's a good boi, the old lizard would rather cut off his own limbs than to hurt his beloved
Adult content ahead, by clicking the 'read more' you agree to seeing such content.
---
Zhongli had been acting a bit off lately. He had given you a heads up at some point that this may happen sooner or later and that he'd just get really armorous but he had also assured you that he'd never do anything you didn't want him to do.
So when you came home one day, before you even realized what was happening, he already had you pinned to the bed, hovering above you with a feral glint in his eyes.
You had already tensed up, old images flashing in your minds eye and he froze immediately at the sight. His chest ached at the expression on your face. You shouldn't have to deal with such demons haunting you.
"My dear..are you uncomfortable? Would you like to stop?"
You hesitated, you really didn't want to disappoint him.
His expression softened. "Beloved, you could never disappoint me. Your comfort is much more important to me than such base instincts. We can stop here and snuggle instead. I'm just happy to be with you." And with that, he simply laid down next to you and held you close to his chest. No one would hurt you ever again, he wouldn't let that happen.
You let out a breath you didn't even know you had been holding, soon melting into his loving embrace. Feeling safe and loved. Actually loved. Not just used and cast aside. It left a fuzzy feeling in your chest, almost like you had a little kitten curling up right where your heart would be.
"I'd never forgive myself if i ever hurt you." He murmured softly against your skin as he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. "It's alright, dear, i got you. Nothing can harm you here. I'll keep you safe."
That night, you fell asleep to warmth, sweet reassurances and the knowledge that you were loved.
Premise : Picture a parallel universe where all your blorbos are the ones expressing their profound yearning for you (yes, YOU) through the sacred arts of fanfics, fanarts and exchanging kudos. Perhaps you're a celebrity, perhaps you're just an ordinary person charming enough to have an entire fandom behind you or, you're the fictional character in this universe instead. Let's dive into this website, shall we?
Note : So uh, I typed this down with almost zero critical thinking and 100% whimsy within one hour. Character selection is random, too. Please excuse any unintentional errors <3
— THE WRITERS AND ARTISTS
Phainon has an erratic writing pattern, no one can guess what this guy will whip up in his next post. One moment he's weaving gourmet in text-form about an emotion-packed forbidden love story between knight and monarch and the next he's posted some unedited word vomit with a witty ‘no beta we die like ___’ tag. That, or it's his stick figure comics against the world. Everyone thinks he's mad funny though, so the readers forgive him.
Scaramouche who started as a HATER. What do you mean people are so obsessed with one person that they've made a digital shrine of fanfics and fanarts for them? He's going to do a thorough research on you... for the sake of ethically sourced hate of course. One thing leads to another, his ‘research’ spirals and all you need to know is that he's a diehard [Name] simp now — not that he'd admit it.
Mydei who, in great contrast to his usual self, writes some very cutesy stuff. “What if you two turned into chimeras for a day” stuff like that. He's mostly known for his chibi drawings though. Very escapism-from-a-burdened-life themed, if you want to psychoanalyze, that is.
Sunday who just can't cross the boundary of writing gentlemanly hand-kisses and heartfelt hugs in terms of physical affection, even though he's probably read hardcore smut by someone else. And even when he's writing about kissing your hand, he's squirming in his seat, wings restless enough for him to start taking flight or something. His characterization tends to be very thoughtful though so the readers don't care.
One of the very first dwellers of the website, Gepard's... unique drawings fed many people back in the days and are still remembered fondly to this date. Nowadays, he isn't as active as he used to be though.
Venti's blog is dedicated to poetry about you, everyone is low-key jealous of his rhyming skills. He's also one of the more active people, sharing others' works regularly without fail.
Dr. Ratio who becomes SICK of the amount of mischaracterization floating around about you in the fanfics and the burn from the majority of the fics not meeting his standards, so, he starts writing fanfics catering to his specific needs himself.
Alhaitham who posted like two or three 10k something word-count fics and then dipped because he lost motivation. The readers are still in mourning, because he left them on a devasting cliff-hanger. Kaveh, Cyno and Sethos have made a ‘Day X until @/vulturevolans posts’ chain in the comments. They just don't know it's Alhaitham who's the writer.
Albedo is that artist whose works you'd think would be hung on museum walls, yet, he's here posting jaw-dropping art with you as the muse. His ‘character study’ series of sketches about you is noted to be... very brainrot-worthy, let's say.
— MISC. INHABITANTS
Aventurine is the famous ‘commissioner’ guy who drops by people's inboxes with hilarious memes seeking fic or art, or just to appreciate the existing works. You can bet he's commissioned something out of every writer and artist on this site.
Childe is another commissioner. He'd most likely commission Phainon though because he knows Phainon can whip up a good flirting-through-sparring oneshot with accuracy ensured about how a sword works and all. They say Varka of Mondstadt has this fic printed and binded like a book.
Don't tell the Trailblazer and March 7th, but Dan Heng is one of the admins who manage the site. He knows every work posted here like the back of his hand. He may or may not know about the true identities of everyone who has an account on this website.
— NOTABLE READERS
Anaxa who gets exposed as a fanfic reader in class after he accidentally comments, ‘‘This looks like something that you'd find in fanfiction.[you].net.’’ while grading a few students' (read: Phainon and Castorice) essays. He got back at them with the threat of ‘If the next fic doesn't meet my standards, I'm failing you.’ though. So, no worries.
Argenti who's known as the ‘long comment guy’. He leaves whole paragraphs of praises with sparkly rosy emojis under every work on the site, without exception. It's kind of an honor to receive his comments.
Ayato, Jing Yuan, Flins, Neuvillette and Zhongli aren't really part of the dramatic crew. They tend to savour the works from a distance. They don't even have to commission the writers here, the sincere compliments and ideas they share are enough to keep the facilitation of brainrot smooth.
Dottore is his own warning, yandere, gender neutral reader, nod krai story spoilers, isekai, sagau
Notes:
Kinda connected to my past Dottore ramblings oops, so uh here have more ramblings and headcanons because my hand slipped. Again only some random thoughts, no actual written out fanfic.
Please keep in mind that the whole dynamic (and yandere in general) is neither healthy nor sane and should not be recreated irl
---
- basically it started out as sagau with him noticing you and it went downhill from there as he got more and more obsessed with you
- Dotty manages to yoink you with his moon powers (tm) and finds out you're actually just a regular human and not the god he envisioned
- but you accepted him when no one else did so he'll let it slide (also he's already too emotionally invested in you either way, you're not getting rid of him that easily, hah!)
- will try to make you a god too or at least immortal so he can keep you forever, so expect him to do more messed up experiments with some poor random mortals because he wants to make sure he doesn't harm you in the process
- he might just make you a new, better body while he's at it, you're welcome dear
- will take you along for the ride as he goes out into the universe/multiverse to explore because he grew bored with Teyvat after a while
- "let me show you the worlds, my dear."
- magic carpet ride included, book now without resisting him for softer Dotty who lets you keep some freedom unless you wanna be put on a leash i guess (but tbh if it's just the leash you want, you can just ask, don't be shy now, dear)
- will always have at least one segment of his watch you to make sure you're safe (and also to reassure himself you'll still be there when he comes back if he has to leave you for some reason)
- i feel like his segments are more fluid in their existence once he reached godhood, with him now capable of splitting them off of himself and tuning into their senses like a tv channel to check on you + being able to reabsorb them into himself whenever he feels like it, even if they have been destroyed and there's just bits and pieces left (recycling lol, maybe reabsorbing replenishes some of his power if he used up a lot of it on one thing or another)
Just wanted to say I LOOOVE how you write (and draw!) Pantalone!!! I feel so good after reading your stuff, crossing my fingers for more Regrators love 💜💜💜
Note: this is a crack fic! Reader and the Harbinger are in an established relationship
✧ It was a night fashioned to perfection, Pierro thought. An excellent evening for a man such as him to treat his darling to a lovely date he planned in advance. The two of you were dressed amicably: a subtle perfume graced the Director, a tender fur coat draped over your shoulder. Hence, with an offer to take his arm, he courteously guided you when heading out. An unassuming dinner date at the private restaurant within Zapolyarny Palace.
“You mentioned trying that one dish we spoke of. So I took the liberty of reserving this place for the night,” – The Jester added, drawing out your chair as you sat. The refined restaurant was vacant on such a lovely night. A clear command of his arrangements when he makes reservations. “Perhaps we can try it today if y–”
“Ahem. Greetings, two love birds.”
A voice interrupted. Believing it to be the waiter with the menu, you were ready to smile and nod politely. Except this was no waiter – It was Columbina, in her usual attire of robes and ribbons covering her closed eyes. And a comically ridiculous mustache on her face. You and Pierro stared in stunned silence.
“The restaurant has prepared special accommodations for tonight at Lord Director's request. Here are the menus.”
“Ah, thank you…?” You accepted the two menus from her, trying to conjure a cautious smile. “Um, Columbina, may I ask why are you wearing a…”
“I apologize. I must say I don't know anyone with that name. I am merely a humble servant for tonight.”
You didn't know how to reply to this sudden declaration, but if the 3rd Fatui Harbinger was using the fake mustache as a disguise, her attire and manner of speech sure didn't change. In fact, she looked carefree and untroubled as always. Pierro regarded the suspicious encounter and, more so, questioned her presence. But somehow, the two of you ended up ordering anyway, with an air of awkward bewilderment.
“Ahem. As I was saying, my divine,”
Whatever your beloved Jester wanted to say was left unspoken, because a romantic symphony started to play in the restaurant for you two. Light piano keys, pressed by familiar gloved hands with silver rings. Pantalone was the performer for tonight, accompanied by Pulcinella, who drew a bow across violin strings. A beautiful melody, perfectly suited to an evening meant for two lovers.
To pour some salt on Pierro’s wound, a clatter in the back can be heard. The waiter who was supposed to return with two dishes was a familiar young ginger. Except for whatever reason, be it Columbina in her whimsy or even Dottore, decided that he should roller skate the orders back to your table. Childe was way too eager for that role, dressed as a waiter, with rolled-up sleeves and barely fumbling the silver trays when he rolled around.
You understood what was going on, and so did Pierro.
Somehow, the group of disagreeable Harbingers caught wind of their Director’s date with you. And in that miraculous moment, they decided to set aside their differences and collaborate to enhance the romantic date. Unfortunately for The Jester, the private date meant for your hushed words and eyes ended up a circus of adults playing chefs and waiters. Capitano was the cook, Dottore was the manager, Columbina and Tartaglia were the waiters, Arlecchino and Sandrone prepared complimentary desserts with tea, and lastly, Pantalone and Pulcinella agreed to set the mood with music.
You struggled to stifle a laugh, hiding your lips behind your hands. Pierro, by contrast, was fuming. His gloved fingers intertwined, and his forehead hung low, like a man praying before an altar, begging for mercy. Any second, and all these skillful Harbingers will be ex-fatui convicts, despite the air of dedication they devoted to this matchmaking playdate.
“I swear upon the stars beyond the firmament,” Pierro hissed at the end of the date, his expression beyond a fit of controlled rage. “This joke of an intrusive circus shall regret such intervention. I must humbly apologize, my love. Whatever you saw today, I implore you to forget it.”
“No, no. Let them be. This is funny, I want to see what they come up with next.”
✧ Your partner, Il Capitano, is a gentle man. Tempered by wars of the past, his principles remained steadfast as a column of chivalry. His hand always comes as a kind offer for you to hold on to. His words are tender whenever he refers to you. And his troubles never tarnish your warm embraces whenever you welcome him back into your arms. In other words, an earnest gentleman.
So what does a man like him try to say when exercising his chivalric devotion? Capitano, obviously, loves to compliment you: “Your smile is the very sun that warms my body and soul, my dear.”
And what do you humbly reply with? You stare him dead into his helmet, calmly stating: “So you want me to stay 148 million kilometers away from you…?”
“No-!”
One day, Capitano embraced your shoulders from behind and uttered, “You are like the sweet nectar of a blooming flower. And I – a hummingbird or a working bee that cannot resist your natural fragrance.”
“What if someone has spring allergies? Are you saying I cause runny noses and merciless sneezes?”
“Please don't… don't torment me with my own words against me.”
And torment him you did, for it was your favorite hobby. Every compliment or passing statement, you'd turn the tables by taking it in a completely different direction, often in a literal sense. Of course, there was no malice in your replies, just feigned gasps at most. But the Captain's pleas were very much sincere. Thus, any time he'd prepare himself to say something pleasant, he had to keep a sharp eye on you, like a knight in a jousting tournament.
“Beloved,” – he started. You raised your eyebrows. Even your grin said you'll reply with something witty. He took a deep breath. “Your… eyes,”
“Go on…”
No, Il Capitano, thought. He must ponder this. Should he say your eyes remind him of the most precious jewels, to weave a compliment about how kingdoms would fight for such treasure? No, no, you'd twist this game of words into how jewels are a symbol of greed and tacky trinkets. Perhaps he can say that your eyes are like pools of endless cosmos? No, too cliche, you'd come up with something anyway.
Before he can realize it, The Harbinger has been standing for two solid minutes, fighting his inner demons. You just innocently called out to him. “Darling? My eyes are what again?”
With a soft sigh, Capitano muttered with utter defeat, “They're… they're nice?”
You gazed blankly with a long, distant stare, before your face beamed into warm smiles and grins. “Aw, I don't even have anything silly to rebut with. You win this one, honey. Thank you.”
Victory at last. There may still be a chance for this old knight. He has to take down notes on which compliments he has emerged victorious from and which are yet to be tried.
✧ Long before you came to know a man with the title Il Dottore, a young junior student named Zandik was busy in the library. Perhaps busy would be a false statement. Though the youth sat with a book held high to conceal his face, this charade served him only to disguise his true motive for being here today – you.
You were seated at a nearby table, occupied with studying something as always. Zandik has been trying to conduct a plan to approach you many times. To start a casual discussion, maybe? To say he liked your essay in that one lecture? It didn't matter, for this eternal debate has been going on for months. Today, Zandik decided to catch your attention stealthily. He penned a note, an alluring hint to make you finally look at him and exchange notes in the quiet library. Perhaps, even relish the privilege of seeing your handwriting addressed to him. An immaculate, subtle plan.
A small note was thrown towards your table. You glanced from your books at last and saw the piece of paper. Confusingly, you searched around the library to see who may have dropped it. Yet you could only see some junior sitting beside you, his face buried behind a book. So what did you do?
You stood up, grabbed the piece of paper, and handed it back to him. “Excuse me, I think you accidentally dropped this at my table. Here you go.”
The young boy didn't even know what to say from sheer humiliation. He just accepted the unopened note back into his hand.
One day, the Akademiya conducted fieldwork, where seniors were meant to supervise junior students and help them build their skills through shared projects. When a professor introduced you to a group of students, ready to sign up a group for you, Zandik was the first to step in. Except he did not just step in, three students were knocked down, some tables probably thrown off, and casualties were plenty. He was the first to volunteer to work with you. Very nonchalant of him.
You had to ask him who he was again.
When the Trainee Dastur was expelled by the Akademiya’s claims, he told you everything that had happened. His state looked disheveled, yet his red eyes remained as solemn and upfront as they always were when approaching you. This young man, who had all of Sumeru city against him, looked you straight in the eyes and said:
“I am leaving the Akademiya. But even if it’s my exile, I will follow you till the end of Teyvat and beyond.”
“Well… I actually need to go grab coffee first. You can follow me there if you want.”
He remembers you bought him something warm.
Till this day, Dottore has no idea how he got into your thick skull to win you over or how you managed to take him off guard all those years. You were a genius of your own accord, respected by your peers and admired by a heretic like him. Yet anytime he attempted to woo you, he realized your head was so far up in the clouds that not even the Heavenly Principles could reach you. In fact, this very same Harbinger could be waiting for you in bed, wearing nothing but his best leather harness as an invitation, and you would still walk past your own lover, saying something foolish like:
“I cannot wait to finally go to sleep. Oh, Zandik, you’re not wearing anything, please don’t catch a cold.”
Over 400 years of suffering, why does it still work on the Doctor? He still gets smitten like a boy, and that same inner Zandik is discovering a new sense of heat rushing down south whenever you pull something like this. All the more reasons for him to keep trying, he concluded with a bite of his lower lip.
✧ Once upon a less peculiar day, Scaramouche watched as couples exchanged chocolates and flowers. He didn’t grasp what the occasion was, but as he inspected the bustling streets, he saw heart-shaped desserts and flowers being sold everywhere. This was, as the Harbinger concluded, what humans popularized as Valentine's Day.
In Inazuma, women baked sweets for the ones they loved. In Fontaine, it was expected of the man to bring flowers first. And in Mondstadt, it was the Windblum Festival when local couples exchanged gifts. Either way, every nation had its own names and costumes for such a day dedicated to love. And the longer Scaramouche watched, the longer he pondered on why he never bought you anything for such occasions before.
He expected himself to scoff, to chide how pathetic it was, or how such festivals capitalize on materialistic gifts that truly hold little sentimental value. But on the other hand, he chastised himself mentally. What if you expected something, but knew it would be useless to reason with him? Perhaps you were secretly disappointed with his usually indifferent attitude? The Balladeer never heard your complaints, and both of you knew that if you ever desired something, the Harbinger would give it to you without the excuse of special days and holidays. Your wants prioritized any superficial calendar dates.
But the Balladeer has already decided. This year, he would do it differently.
Thus, one day, a massive bouquet of flowers graced your quarters. One filled with a professional assortment of every flower from Teyvat: windwheel asters, silk flowers, naku weed leaves, Sumeru roses. Scaramouche waited for you to notice it, but it only received a gentle smile of curiosity:
“Oh! Were they handing out free flowers in the market today? Neat!”
Scaramouche bought you the best of chocolate desserts; the box awaited your approval.
“Hm? Was it a buy ten, save half off deal?”
Scaramouche stared at you in a bafflement akin to horror. Shaking his head, he pointed again at the bouquet and chocolate.
“Did you… not notice what day it is?” – You could only blink at him in response. You shook your head. “It’s Valentine’s! I am supposed to bring you a bouquet or silly heart-shaped gifts that couples fawn over!”
“Oooh. So that's why every shop these past couple of days has been littered with pink and red items. I completely forgot. But wait, I didn’t buy you anything in return.”
All of the Harbinger’s doubts and worries, gone with the void of your obliviousness. You don’t even know what date it is, and all the problems Scaramouche made up in his head were his own making. Now, somehow, you were the one who ended up with a disgruntled lover, arms crossing and a flustered pout marring his porcelain face.
“O-oh no, Scara? I didn’t know you wanted us to exchange gifts. I’m sorry, I just never imagined you cared about such events!” - you panicked, rushing to comfort the petulant puppet now sitting in the corner. But it was hard for him to explain that he doesn’t even blame you. He blames himself for making up a whole set of problems no one asked for. Why did he go out early in the morning for all these gifts anyway?
“You know… just for your troubles, Scara, how about I treat you today. An apology dinner by me. And a kiss or two. Aw, dear, please, just don’t look at me like that!”
✧ Pantalone sat waiting in his usual place by the bar. The establishment in question was of high-class, one of his favored picks, of course. Warm light cast a sensual glow over the rich mahogany interior and crystal whiskey glasses. But his gaze was not cast on his beverage in hand; instead, it lingered as someone entered the bar.
You arrived, settling onto a stool. But before you could order, the bartender already slid a drink to you, politely ushering that a gentleman paid for this one. The said gentleman scooted closer to you, and the warm bar light reflected off his silver glasses.
“A fine night, isn’t it?” – Pantalone crossed his leg, taking a slow sip from his drink. “Even finer if the company is as stunning as yours. Do you come here often, if I may?”
You rolled your eyes at his words, not minding his charming smile.
“Not staying here for long. I’d thank you for the drink, sir, but I won’t be overstaying the night with empty glasses tonight.”
“Oh? Waiting for someone, perhaps? Who in their right mind would make such a beauty wait?”
“I would not suggest that you get so daring with your words. In fact, the person I am waiting for would be far from pleased if he saw me talking to a man like you.”
“Hm, he seems like quite the character.” He leaned one elbow on the bar, chin resting on his palm as he faced you intently – “Tell me about him.”
“Well, he is rich… ridiculously so. Eccentric at times. Puts so much effort into styling his black hair. Wears glasses and silver rings on each finger. Kind of like yours, mister.” Tantalizingly, you leaned closer, your knee brushing his. “But most importantly, he gets oh so jealous when I don’t pay attention to him.”
“Must be quite the man. Tsk tsk, that won’t do.” – Pantalone chuckled at last, his gaze darting from your eyes to your lips – “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you drop him and go with me tonight. Trust me, I can offer far more than the bore you’re with, darling–”
“Ahem… excuse me, is this person bothering you?”
The conversation was deliberately interrupted by the barman, who overheard the conversation. The body language of you pretending to be annoyed, rolling your eyes while the Harbinger desperately flirted, sure was convincing. Now, three of you went silent, before you and Pantalone had to explain in horror to the concerned staff.
“Oh Goodness! No no no no! I am so sorry, this man is my partner– we are not strangers, we just speak like that when we frequent this bar-!”
Turns out, you and Pantalone often played this game. When one pretends not to know the other and drops overly stereotypical pick-up lines. “Why hello there, beautiful, come here often?” – such as when Pantalone enters the room and sees you at home. Or when you roll in bed and face him, so you gasp, “Ah, apologies, I didn’t see you there, gorgeous.” until both of you burst out into a fit of giggles and laughs. It’s an act, but neither of you thought that one day you’d be caught by strangers, thinking this farce was that convincing.
Explaining to the barman who served the drinks was awkward. He bowed in deep apology, but the two of you tipped him for being considerate at least. Nevertheless, while you laughed the incident off, Pantalone could only wallow in utter humiliation as the two of you left.
“Ugh! How shameful. To think I am some sleazy creep to my own beloved!”
“Oh, let go of it, honey. It just shows that our silly acting was way too good.”
✧ On rare occasions, Tartaglia had the privilege to have you accompany him during his Fatui expeditions. On even rarer occasions, you had the opportunity to see your beloved showing his fighting skills in action. And as Childe would say, this opportunity was quite hard to come by.
He was ecstatic. You often oversaw his training routine when his body was shirtless and soaked in sweat from training all mornings. And you were no stranger to the might of the Foul Legacy form. But to have you be present by his side, while both of you were adventuring, was novel. Therefore, the 11th of the Fatui Harbinger promised he’d put all his skills to use and impress you. No wild hilichurl or ruinguard would harm you while you’re in his care.
You encouraged him with a supportive nod. When a rustle of leaves emitted from the bushes, Tartaglia swiftly kept you back for safety. But he wasn’t nervous; if anything, he was all the more eager for a wild monster to appear: “Stay behind me, dear. I’ve got this.”
You watched in awe as your beloved Ajax conjured his hydro weaponry, raging tides. A long spear-like weapon was summoned from his hydro vision, as taught to him by his master. The rustling from the bushes continued, as if something were threatening to ambush you two. The Harbinger waited no longer and unleashed a swift slash of obliteration.
It did zero damage. The enemy hiding in the bushes was a hydro slime.
The little blob stared at you two in confusion. Right, hydro-on-hydro immunity. Oh well, the little slime only blurted out a little water onto Childe before bouncing off. Your boyfriend could hear a light chuckle escape you, but he checked that you were fine. But quickly, the two of you noticed a cryo abyss mage appeared!
“Hah, not so fast! This time, I’ve got thi-”
Childe was instantly frozen because the previous hydro slime apparently soaked him, and the Abyss Mage didn’t waste the accidental opportunity. Oh no, you thought. While he was frozen for a second there, you quickly got rid of the floating little obstacle and decimated the monster yourself.
You patched Childe up when he was back to normal. Today was not his day, and it showed in his expression. He handled hordes of ruin guards, fought and trained by his master, Skirk. How can he fumble so badly from some small critters? And right in front of his darling of all people.
“Don’t worry, Ajax. We all have days like that,” – you patted his back. “I’m actually having lots of fun adventuring with you out in the open.”
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to pity my mishaps, love. I wanted you to take it easy, knowing you’re in safe hands. I would’ve shown you what I often do at work, which usually involves bigger adversaries than just slimes and… little abyss mages spewing cryo at you.”
But you didn’t reply this time. In fact, your gaze was somewhere far off into the distance. “Ajax? Don’t panic, but there is a ruin guard aiming right at you from behind…”
