Hm, i think i still need one of these, so ya'll know what to expect here, huh? Well, here we go i guess.
Contents i post:
- gender neutral reader inserts (i'm doing my best to make them as neutral as possible, feel free to let me know if anything slips past though or if i need to add any tags you might want to block)
- silly little ideas for fanfics or just dumb little scenario ideas
- me crying over how a character could have been good if only these very specific things happened to help them along, in this essay i will- *dragged away from the stage*
Fandoms: (subject to change as my interests fixate on other stuff too)
- Genshin Impact
- Pokemon
Possible warnings: (i usually prefer more light hearted stuff but just to be safe)
yandere, possessive, jealousy, unhinged delulu characters, (but like soft versions of those who'd never hurt their love), monster love, possibly gore & death but probably not much, probably ooc, irregular posts, sometimes adult themes
Probably not very suited for minors, so if you're a minor, please come back once you're older if you still want to read my stuff then..i know my writing is usually more on the tame side but i'd still feel bad if a kid or teen took my writings the wrong way.
Disclaimer: I do not approve of or condone any morally unsound stuff that may be depicted, i just like reading & writing weird stuff sometimes. Please heed the tags and block as needed. It's important to keep yourself safe from things you know you can't handle. Please let me know if i need to add any tags for this. <3
What you won't see here:
Anything to do with pregnancy or having children, non-con, smut, very graphic descriptions of gore and death
I think that's it for now. If you have any questions or something, my asks are open now.
if your accepting requests right now..... can I request a bennett x gn reader sagau.... or mute!aether x gn reader.... no specific plot in mind, hcs or drabbles and wtv are fine!!
also also also if your accepting anons, can i be 📎 anon?
Ohh hello hi, you are my first actually. Not sure how the emoji anon thing goes but i think it's a cute idea. Welcome 📎 anon. Thank you for the ask/request.
I've been pretty busy lately so i'll probably just do some short headcanons if that's okay.
Random bs headcanons go (gn reader for both as usual <3 wasn't sure if you wanted Aether to be sagau as well so i put a mix of stuff for him. Wrote these two with something platonic in mind, hope that's okay. I just prefer writing some characters as platonic.)
---
Bennett (sagau)
- he's very excited to have you as his friend, even if he can't see you
- but he knows you must be real because he doesn't just hear you, but you also poof food into his hands when he's hurt and somehow this heals his wounds (he thinks this is a very cool ability to have)
- he already considers you his friend
- may start referring to you as his guardian angel, since you always help him out
- may think you're just a bit shy at first and very good at hiding
- if he ever finds out about you being in an entirely different world, prepare to get asked lots of questions (he wants to know more about his mysterious friend and got a bit excited)
---
Mute! Aether
- at first he was a bit alarmed at the weird disembodied voice haunting him on his travels but he soon realized you meant well and were just trying to help
- will start considering you one of the group, even if you do not have a physical form in Teyvat
- really curious about your little trick with those floaty text boxes everyone else seems to be unable to see
- he can see the text boxes and maybe the menu screens bc he's not from Teyvat
- those also clued him in that you may not be from or even on Teyvat despite interacting with it
- a bit of a gremlin man, he kinda giving botw Link vibes (quiet, blond, has a sword, protective, great cook, on an important mission to find a loved one)
- he locks in on you and goes 'must protect'
- congrats u got a quiet friend / guard
- since he's mute, communication can get quite frustrating for him (especially if it's something urgent or if someone doesn't understand sign or cannot look towards him at the moment)
- i feel like he'd know or learn sign language if he was or became mute but that only allows him to use it with those who also know how to do it (luckily Paimon is usually there to translate for those who don't)
- i feel like he'd end up writing letters with some very choice words if people test his patience too much
- but if these same people dare to try harming you? yeah no, not on his watch (he will make them regret their life choices one way or another)
- will be thrilled if you know sign or if you express the desire to learn it (this would mean so much to him since it'd mean you wish to understand and accomodate him in a world that often doesn't)
- will happily help you learn and teach you if you want
If Amphoreus is a doomed world that's fated to repeat its downfall over and over, and Remembrance Trailblazer has a quill, does that mean we're writing a fix-it fanfic for Amphoreus?
Traiblazer is the writer (GalacticBaseballer_Racoon02), Dan Heng is the beta reader (he has nothing better to do and also wants to encourage Traiblazer's writing), Mem is the mascot/ Ao3 pfp alongside Clockie.
The Hertha is that one genius friend you ask when you need to make sure something could actually work in real life (Dan Heng can help, but sometimes they need to call Hertha to understand how paradoxes and Samsaras work, the whole thing with Coreflames or whether the Trashcans are a memetic virus or not).
Everything that's happening in Amphoreus is just the Ao3 writer curse, like, can you imagine the notes and tags for this fic?
My very bad, NO GOOD, Time in Amphoreus
by GalacticBaseballer_Raccon02
No Archive Warnings Apply, Traiblazer (HSR), Mem (HSR), Dan Heng (HSR), Phainon (HSR), Mydei (HSR), Aglaea (HSR), Tribbie (HSR), Anaxa (HSR), Hyacine (HSR), Cipher (HSR), No beta we die like the Watchmaker, wait dan heng found this fic LETS GOO, yes beta we die like my will to live, pain, swearing, slow burn, friends to lovers, acheron we need you, third wheeling a gay couple that doesn't know they are a couple, anaxagoras? I only know anaxa, trianne is NOT DEAD, I can't translate this to Kremnoan cause their dictionay is nonexistent, shot out to genius society for explaining things to me, actually I'm dead sooo, yes beta we die like me, author wrote this instead of sleeping,
And the notes are all like: "Sorry for the delay, I was fighting Nikador and the Wi-Fi in Kremnos is awful so I couldn't post this chapter in time", "Sooo I'm technically dead (I'll be fine don't worry). Dan Heng will be posting the next chapter soon", " So everyone in the Grove died and both Anaxa and Cerces are reviewing this fic as a way to cope (they found SO MANY TYPOS)", "THE CHIMERAS STOLE MY PHONE AND ORPHANED THE FIC (thank you Silver Wolf for helping me get it back)".
gender neutral reader, misunderstanding, crack treated seriously (i think), very short, this whole thing is a dumb joke, suggestive
Notes:
The old lizard prepares to save you from the heat. Maybe a little too well. Inspired by: wtf do u mean we had almost sahara level temps in europe?!
Now that i can breathe again without melting, have this lmao
---
"Zhongli help, this heat is unbearable. Save me.."
Zhongli did not blush (liar) but your text did stir something within him. So he took a moment to compose himself and texted back before heading out to the store.
And now, he stood in front of the shelf in the grocery store that'd be your saving grace. ..but would you like strawberry or one of the other many flavors? He could not remember seeing so many different ones the last time he had been here. So he just sent you a text.
Meanwhile you were thrilled when you saw his text asking about flavors and what they had. He was such a lovely partner. You replied with your preferred flavor and perhaps a few too many hearts.
At the checkout, the cashier stared at him after ringing up his worrying amount of flavoured products. Do not ask, the cashier thought. They probably did not want to know why the funeral parlor needed all of those things for their own sanity. Just another day in retail hell..
Zhongli hummed to himself as he left with his bagged goods, certainly Hu Tao wouldn't mind that he put it on the funeral parlors tab, it was to help his beloved with the heat, after all. She'd understand.
Zhongli found you in quite the state. Barely clothed and panting on the floor. Zhongli set the shopping bag on the counter.
"My dear, are you alright?"
"No. But i will be now that you are here to save me." You somehow managed to peel yourself off of the floor.
You peeked into the shopping bag and blinked. ..what? You looked at Zhongli, then back into the bag. You dug through the packages inside. There were so many of them. Many different flavours too, along with a bunch of your favourite but uh..
"Zhongli?" You were trying to surpress your giggles.
He perked up. "Yes, my dear?"
"Why did you get a bunch of condoms?"
Zhongli paused and blinked at you.
"To help with your heat, if these are not up to your standards i could -"
You interrupted him by bursting out into hysterical laughter and your beloved partner looked at you in confusion. It took you a moment to compose yourself but yeah maybe you should explain.
"Humans don't go into heat. I was talking about the weather. I thought you were getting ice cream."
And of course Zhongli quickly fixed his mistake by taking you out for ice cream.
Bonus:
Hu Tao opened yet another bill sent to the parlor via postal service, nothing unusual here. She paused when she saw what items he had put on the funeral parlors tab this time. Then she cackled manically. Oh gods, she wouldn't let him live this one down so easily.
God I love the isekai concept so freaking much. Like I'm aware of SAGAU (self aware genshin alternative universe) but plenty of fics have the reader being treated like the Creator/God and personally being treated like God feels weird to me, maybe just a me thing.
I would genuinely love something where the reader gets isekaied into Genshin during playing and the cast knows that they are basically just a normal person (one that can killed by a gang of hilichurls no doubt); but they're still very important like the Traveler because oh I don't know-- they literally know the PLOT (and thus the future).
I went a little ham on this ask, sorry about the length lol, but here we go!
I completely agree with being a bit weirded out by getting literally worshipped (lol).
My favorite take on the SAGAU is that the traveler could hear them the whole time. With this (and maybe its been done before and I just haven't seen it), if other characters in the party can hear them as well when close to the traveler. I think this might be where the god aspect comes in tbh (because how else to you explain a mysterious voice?)
I'd like to think that they're important to the Traveler because they've been with the Traveler (in essence) from day one (the opening cut scene when they were separated from their sibling and met Paimon).
“and then that god stole my sibling from me”
“what. sibling-napping in the big 2000?”
“paimon did you hear that?”
(then again at the hill out looking mondstadt)
“Wow, that’s phenomenal, i’ve seen sneak peaks but seeing it here they clearly didn’t do Teyvat justice”
The Traveler had learned their lesson from the first time they heard the voice and didn’t mention it to Paimon, keeping it to themselves.
In the beginning of meeting them in person, I think the Traveler would definitely lean towards the reader being some benevolent god (only for them to do something so human that the Traveler's perception shifts from god to person so quickly).
And while I do think it would be interesting if the reader knew the whole plot I feel like it wouldn’t make the most sense (idrk how to explain it properly).
I think the Reader would’ve just seen a sneak peak trailer into the next patch or something, boot up the game to actually see how the update is and get swept into the game (maybe falling directly onto the Traveler—who only recognizes them from their voice).
As the familiar Celestial door opened and you were blinded with the bright glow of your phone, you suddenly felt the plush of your bed disappear beneath you as you fell into the arms of Aether/Lumine?!
"I must be dreaming right now," you said to yourself quietly and you removed yourself from the Traveler, offering a small apology to them.
Their amber eyes widened at your voice, "it's you."
I think the most value that the reader would offer would be from your vast knowledge of the genshin lore and elemental reactions (and the fact that you actually understand the traveler and don’t ask for anything in return). You’d be going off of caffeine, theories based off the current lore, and the dream to see the end of the game.
"Get behind me," the Traveler called out to you and Paimon for the nth time as the three of you began to traverse the new region, another enemy preparing to attack.
The Traveler ran away from you and Paimon, causing the enemy to follow them instead of focusing on you and Paimon.
"Traveler, it looks similar to a the cryo shield around Cryo Abyss mages, use Pyro to melt it and then go for a physical attack."
The Traveler did as you commanded and the enemy was taken care of swiftly.
"Thanks for the tip, I would've struggled against it for a while if you didn't tell me what I should do," the said, scratching their cheek in embarrassment.
For the rest of the cast, I think their reactions would vary.
If they were also able to hear you then perhaps they would (similar to the traveler) also see you as a god in the beginning. However, if they couldn't hear you, then they'd likely see you as an extension of the Traveler in the beginning before they saw how useful your extensive knowledge of the lore was. Which would peak their interest, how does one get to be so knowledgable??
Alternatively, I think you'd have characters who are interested in you because of the fact that you are a descender (not from Teyvat and not in the Leylines). Maybe this means that the Archons (and other beings) sense that in you and keep a closer watch on you.
The Fatui keeping tabs on you because the Tsaritsa wants to know more about you and how your knowledge can serve her cause
Dain and the Abyss being interested in you because you remain unaffected by abyssal corruption and even know what the hilichurls truly are (which is noteworthy)
Bonus to the last bullet: Abyss sibling seeking you out to question you about your motives with their sibling and teyvat as a whole
The other Archons seeking you out if you enter their nation under the guise of seeing the traveler again. They simply wish to understand who you are, two descenders at one time?
I think the extensions of the Archons would be more outward about their curiosity (and borderline initial hostility). Think Xiao, Yae Miko, and Wanderer. I think they'd be both curious and wary (obv they'd all have different responses, but they'd be defensive of their Archon).
With this though I will say there is a difference between curiosity and reverence. They most certainly know that you're a human and can die, but you are also very very interesting because of your knowledge of the lore and the fact that you're a descender.
I was curious if you’re okay with anyone (me cough) writing extra stuff about your skeles from aggre? I’d really like to write silly/cute moments I sometimes ponder up but don’t want to post anything without your permission, since it is branching from your work n all…
Anyways hope you’re well!!!!
Anon honey baby sweetie...... you can post whatever you want forever. Writing something inspired by things I've made is the best compliment possible.
I've said this before but I'll say it again - people can write and post absolutely anything they want in relation to any of my works. So long as you're making it yourself (NO AI OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH A BRICK) you have my blessing. It's open season!!!
I'd be such a hypocrite if I wouldn't let people write spin-off works of something that is, itself, a spin-off work lol
Sagau, Various x reader, gn (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Flins, Varka)
Poofing them away from what they were doing before..
Tags:
sagau, gender neutral reader, alcohol mention, just bullet points
Notes:
ok what if, when u grab them for your teams, they just get whisked away from whatever they had been doing?
---
Diluc:
- ok what if you switch him onto ur team bc u need a claymore or pyro user and get greeted by him letting out a sigh of relief and a thank you
- apparently there was another ball/party thing at his place where ladies try to get him to marry them (he was very uncomfortable to be there)
- maybe he got cornered by Donna or some other lady trying to shoot her shot and he just had to stay there to be polite and stuff
- and suddenly he went poof and was now in an entirely different nation to help you gather silly rocks
- he has never been so happy to mine rocks for u (or whatever else u needed)
- just please don't send him back there
Kaeya:
- poofing him away from boring paperwork to do something more fun? this will be interesting..
- poofing him away from a nice drink? guess u now owe him a new one (one eyed wink) it's a date
- will tease you the whole time with his voice lines (stop to check ur inventory for a moment or just pausing to admire the scenery for a second or two? he already has a certain voice line ready just for you like he was waiting for this lol)
"i didn't know you were such a slacker ;)" (like u didn't just farm a bunch of bosses a moment ago lmao)
Zhongli:
- stealing him while Hu Tao lectures him about his expenses? why, thank you for the save dear player, how kind of you
- nevermind that if u also switch Hu Tao onto your team right after lol
- but yeah he'd be grateful if you just let him avoid his boss for a bit, he'll happily shield everyone while you farm stuff
- will start yapping pretty much immediately, guy heard u say u like his voice like once years ago and ever since, he won't shut up whenever you grab him for your team
Flins:
- saving him from the dreaded paperwork for now?
- he knows he'll have to do it later still but he's grateful for the break you give him, even if it means you're making him fight giant monsters, still better than paperwork in his opinion
- going fishing with him? how can you be so perfect? expect a happy Flins singing your praises (boi got his flattery stats maxed out yoo)
- but only once you're done and caught enough fish for dinner (to not scare the fishies away before they're even caught, even though he knows by now that the fishing mechanics work a bit differently for you)
Varka:
- you require his help, the paperwork must wait he has to save - wait u just want to do random stuff? ..yeah, that works too as long as he can avoid anything paperwork lol
- calls u an angel for saving him from the paper demons
- will try to talk u into getting a drink with him, but no worries if u don't drink, they have non alcoholic stuff too, he knows a nice juice mix u just have to try :)
- u can't actually sample the drinks in teyvat yourself? What a tragedy! He will describe the flavor profiles to you in detail if you'd like
- if you do give in and take him to angels share, there is a chance that Jean will appear there to drag him back to work, asking you nicely to grab a different vessel instead lol
Help how do I cope with the gray area between fiction and reality where one might desensitize and lead to the other?
awareness is the key. most people don't do bad things just because they enjoy dark fiction. I've been enjoying dark and taboo fiction ever since I was a kid, and I didn't let my enjoyment in fiction turn me into the fictional horror that I consume. a lot of people I know also enjoy dark fiction, and they are ones of the sweetest people I know. that's because they — we — can separate fiction from reality.
what I'm saying is: engaging with dark or disturbing fiction doesn’t automatically desensitize you into becoming a bad and harmful person. more often than not, people are actually doing the opposite by processing fears, exploring control, or examining things they would never accept in reality through dark fiction. it gives you a contained space, in which no one in real life is harmed, for that.
that said, if you’re worried about desensitization, my honest advice is to check in with yourself by asking these questions:
"am I still able to empathize with real people?"
"do I recognize that these things I enjoy are fiction and not something I condone in real life?"
"does what I enjoy in fiction change or affect how I treat people in real life?"
if something does feel off, you can always step back, change what you’re consuming, or take a break. but to be honest, I've never met anybody, who enjoys dark fiction, whose real-life moral compass was affected by the dark fiction they enjoy. humans' minds are stronger than you think, that's why most people are able to indulge in dark fantasies without harming anyone in real life.
Have these while i still avoid even looking at my written wips. ..I think it's pretty obvious which one was more fun for me to draw lmao. Tried practicing human Kaeya & honse, got frustrated and needed to do a dragon version to recharge.
Maybe i should try to figure out how to get skin tones to look okay while i'm at it as well. I still have much to learn and the list is only getting longer.
Oh and happy pride month everyone! 🌈 Kaeya boi giving me bi vibes so i tried to do a thing. Not sure if i'm happy with it but eh. Maybe i should have added wings based on his little cape..next time maybe.
Your relationship with the two men had always been unconventional. Frowned upon even, but the opinions of others had never mattered much to you.
Your parents always said you had a big heart. Apparently, it was big enough to fit both Mydei and Phainon. And both men loved you to the moon and back. That should have been enough. Right? Apparently not.
Late into the night, you lay wide awake in bed. Mydei slept on your right, snoring loud enough to shake the windows. Phainon slept on your left, mumbling something incoherent about swords and training. Somehow, both men appeared perfectly at peace. You, however, were suffering from curiosity that was eating away at you.
“If I turned into a worm would you guys still love me?”
Mydei stopped cleaning his spear. Phainon lifted his gaze up from his book. The two men exchanged a look from across the room. Neither spoke.
Then finally, Mydei rolled his eyes. “I’m not answering that.”
“Baby if you’re bored we could take a walk out in town together.” Phainon took your hand in his, entwining your fingers together.
Phainon brought you to a lovely restaurant while Mydei ordered all your favorite dishes. They succeeded in distracting you for the rest of the evening.
Unfortunately for them, your curiosity remained unsatisfied.
The next morning began like any other morning. You woke up, enjoyed breakfast together. Then you kissed them both on the cheek and wished them a good day ahead as they left to fulfill their Chrysos Heirs duties.
Both men heaved a sigh of relief as they stepped out of the house. The last time you had asked a rhetorical question—
"If I was dying and you had to kiss another girl to save me, would you do it?"
Neither answer satisfied you. The silent treatment that followed lasted for an entire week. It was a week neither man wished to relive.
Having successfully survived your latest hypothetical question, both men had assumed that the worst was behind them.
They were wrong. The house was suspiciously quiet. It was strange not having you ambush them at the door with a hug the moment they stepped inside.
“y/n?”
No response.
Mydei immediately tensed, his sharp gaze sweeping across the room.
The front door was still locked. Nothing appeared disturbed. Yet something felt wrong.
“y/n?” Mydei called out again.
Silence.
The valuables remained untouched and your belongings were exactly where you had left them. Your clothes were neatly folded in the drawers. The jewelry they had gifted you sat atop your vanity. Even your bag still hung by the door.
“Baby?” Phainon stepped further into the house. A bright purple bottle with no labels sat on the coffee table. His gaze fell to the worm beside it and he froze. “Mydei!” Panic rose as he lifted the bottle up to his nose. The putrid smell had him gagging.
“What is that?” Mydei pointed to the suspicious bottle. “It smells dangerous.”
Phainon's gaze drifted from the bottle back to the worm beside it. A horrible thought crossed his mind.
“y/n?” The worm wiggled. The two men exchanged questioning looks.
“y/n?” The worm wiggled again.
“...”
“...”
“It moved.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“If I turned into a worm would you still love me?” The memory hit them like a freight train.
The next hour was complete chaos, as the two listed questions that neither could answer.
How could the potion's effects be reversed?
What was the lifespan of a worm?
Could worms recognize their loved ones?
Most importantly, where was the worm going?
The tiny creature had somehow escaped the coffee table and was inching closer and closer towards the door.
“She's making a break for it!” Phainon lunged. “Careful!” Mydei nearly tackled him to the ground. “You almost stepped on her!”
“I did not!” Phainon huffed.
“You absolutely did!” Carefully Mydei scooped the worm up into his hands. “I've got you.”
Day 1
A day later, the worm was absolutely thriving in its new habitat.
Filled with moist soil, vegetable peelings, a custom throne and a knitted blanket, it was significantly more luxurious than most homes in Okhema.
“Don't you think that's a bit much?” Phainon pointed at the bright red crystal throne sitting proudly in the center of the glass habitat.
“She's my princess, she deserves it.”
Phainon glanced at the knitted blanket that he had personally made.
“She does deserve nothing but the best.”
Day 2
“Alright baby, what do you want for dinner?” Phainon carefully placed the worm on the dining table so the three of you could still eat together like usual. “The decaying apple or the lettuce?”
“You know,” Mydei said as he stirred the pot, “if you were human, you'd be having homemade dumpling soup tonight.”
The worm stopped moving. Phainon immediately glared at him.
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“You're upsetting her.”
The worm continued to remain perfectly still.
“Look, she's devastated.”
Day 3
“If she remains a worm...”
“Don't.” Phainon glanced at the mountain of books scattered across the floor. “We'll find a solution.”
“We need to be realistic.”
Mydei tapped gently against the glass of the habitat. The worm wiggled in response.
Silence settled between them.
For a moment, neither spoke.
They watched as the worm burrowed into the soil, completely unbothered by the crisis unfolding around it.
"...Should we enlarge her habitat?"
“Probably. She'll need more room to grow.”
A pause.
“Would the wedding ring go around her middle?”
Phainon stared at him. Then he glanced at the worm. A horrible realization struck him. How were they supposed to walk down the aisle without accidentally stepping on you?
“...I hadn't considered that.”
“I'll speak to a goldsmith tomorrow.”
“You think they make rings for worms?”
“I think they're about to.”
Day 4
“Mydei!!!”
Bursting out of the bathroom with soap suds still in his hair and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, Mydei nearly slipped as he ran into the hall.
“I can't find y/n!” Phainon was as pale as a sheet of paper as he crawled out from under the bed.
“I told you to keep the lid close.”
“I took her out. She looked bored and I only turned around for a while.”
The two of them tore the entire house apart. Not a single inch was left unchecked.
“I found her!” There was the worm, taking an afternoon nap behind a flowerpot. Phainon heaved a sigh of relief. “I should have known. She loved flowers.”
Very carefully, Phainon scooped the worm into his hands. “Young lady, if you run away again you're grounded.” The worm wiggled.
Mydei frowned as he watched the one sided conversation. “You've been hogging her.”
Phainon instinctively curled his fingers a little closer around the worm.
“I have not.”
“When was the last time that I got to hold her?”
“Yesterday? For a whole good three minutes.”
“You timed it?”
“I have a schedule.”
“You made a schedule?”
“It helps us split our time fairly. Since y/n can't actually tell us whose palm she prefers.”
Mydei stared at him in disbelief. At that moment the worm wiggled off Phainon’s hand and inched its way closer to Mydei.
“Missed me, haven't you?”
Mydei smirked. Phainon pouted.
Day 5
“Fresh air is important.”
“No.”
“But she hasn't left the house since…”
“No.”
“She's probably tired of staring at the same old scenery."
“No.”
Phainon carefully lifted the worm out from its habitat.
Mydei was already regretting this as he tagged along.
The two of them sat outside beneath the shade of a large tree. Birds chirped peacefully overhead.
The worm appeared content.
“See?” Phainon smiled. “She likes it.”
The worm wiggled.
“She agreed with me.”
“She absolutely did not.”
The worm continued inching across Phainon's palm.
A shadow passed overhead.
Neither noticed, both engrossed with the wiggling worm.
The shadow grew larger and larger.
Then suddenly—
A blur of black feathers shot down from the sky. In the blink of an eye, the worm was gone.
Phainon stared at his empty palm.
Mydei stared at his empty palm.
The crow soared off into the distance with something dangling from its beak. Something pink and small. Something very worm-shaped.
“No no no.”
The words came out as little more than a whisper. As Phainon’s brain struggled to process what had just happened.
“NO!”
Phainon took off running with Mydei following close behind.
“Mydei!”
“I see it!”
The chase that followed would later be described by witnesses to Aglaea as a deeply concerning behavior for members of the esteemed Chrysos heir.
A flock of birds scattered. A vegetable cart overturned. A kissing couple was knocked apart.
Several citizens were forced to leap out of the way. But none of it mattered to them. The bird had y/n. They had to get the worm back no matter the cost.
“GET BACK HERE!”
“STOP THIS INSTANT!”
The crow continued flying, completely unbothered by the two men screaming after it from the streets below.
Three hours later.
They had lost the crow.
Silence hung heavily in the house.
Neither man spoke.
The glass habitat sat empty on the table. The tiny throne remained untouched. The knitted blanket folded neatly in the corner. Phainon stared blankly at the enclosure.
“We failed her.”
Mydei closed his eyes.
“We did.”
“We were supposed to keep her safe.”
“It wasn't your fault. I should have insisted..”
“I had one job.”
Phainon’s voice cracked as his throat tightened. Mydei stared up at the ceiling, willing his tears not to fall. If he started crying too, neither of them would recover from this.
Silence returned.
Then they heard the sound of the door opening. Both men froze. Slowly. Very slowly. They turned around.
There you stood at the doorway. Slurping on a cup of milk tea. Unharmed and perfectly alive.
“B-baby?”
“Hi I'm–” You paused, frowning at their teary red eyes. “Wait, are you two crying?”
Then you noticed the huge glass habitat on the coffee table. "And we've got a new pet?”
It took a whole lot of comforting and reassurance that you were alive and well before you managed to dig out the full story from both men.
“You both thought I was a worm for four days?!”
“Five days...” Phainon muttered, his face turning redder by the second.
“The evidence seemed compelling,” Mydei said defensively. The words sounded less convincing the second time around.
“What evidence?” You looked from Mydei to Phainon and back again. “Grandma fell sick so I left in a hurry and forgot to tell you about it.”
This was getting more confusing by the minute. You wondered if you'd somehow stumbled into an alternate universe where you had, in fact, become a worm.
Both men pointed at the purple bottle simultaneously.
“Oh.” You blinked. “That was a sample drink from the store downtown. They were still working on the packaging.”
“B-but the liquid smelled terrible!”
“It probably went bad.” You shrugged. “It was supposed to be refrigerated.”
Silence.
Mydei slowly turned to look at Phainon.
Phainon slowly turned to look at Mydei.
Neither spoke.
“In my defense, you agreed with me without questioning it.”
Myedi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don't.”
The tension in the room was palpable. Mydei was holding back the overwhelming urge to strangle the man beside him and then himself.
Phainon, meanwhile, was dying of embarrassment from the sheer stupidity of the entire situation.
But none of that seemed to matter to you. Your eyes widened. A grin slowly spread across your face.
“Aww. So you would love me even if I turned into a worm!”
.
.
.
Later that night, two pairs of strong arms surrounded you as the three of you lay in bed.
Neither man had been willing to let you out of their sight for the entire day.
The house was peacefully quiet when your curiosity got the better of you again.
“But if I had turned into a snail—”
Phainon leaned over and kissed you before you could finish your sentence.
On your other side, Mydei tightened his grip around your waist, pressing a trail of kisses against your neck.
No. Absolutely not. They were never revisiting another hypothetical question ever again.
I need to get a dragon form Zhongli plushie and lovingly craft a little bracelet with cute beads for him, including little stars, hearts and those letter beads. But instead of his name or whatever i will spell out "old lizard" (affectionate)
I need to get a dragon form Zhongli plushie and lovingly craft a little bracelet with cute beads for him, including little stars, hearts and those letter beads. But instead of his name or whatever i will spell out "old lizard" (affectionate)
hi pearly! this is my req for your music of the night event, kaeya + harmonica (term of endearment) plus lots of teasing and just cute moments, thankies!
Someone said cute? We attempt to make funny. Also sounds like a perfect opportunity to torture Diluc hehe
Btw this was written before Varka's return to Mond, thus, Kaeya is still horseless.
Could you please stop?
pairing: Kaeya x fem!reader
prompt: term of endearment
word count: 1.1+ words
~ The Music of the Night event ~
“You are such a Fancy Face~”
“You are not so bad yourself, Mr Cheeky~”
Diluc closes his eyes, mourning the inability to cover his ears too. Why, just why does his brother always insist on raising his blood pressure by settling at the bar counter and shamelessly flirting with you? Every. Single. Time. At least when Diluc is the one serving.
“Spicy boy~”
“Sugar girl~”
And what are these nicknames?? Okay, yes, it always starts tame, like you lovingly address each other as ‘darling’ or ‘beloved’, as he would expect of a couple, but as the evening progresses and transforms into the night, it gets wild and beyond his imagination. ‘Hottie Hottersen’? ‘Future Grandmaster Yummy’?? What are even those???
“Do you want a sip of my drink, my Unhinged Queen?”
“I’d be delighted, my Horseless Knight~”
Celestia above, give him patience. Yes, patience, because if the skies gave him strength, Diluc would send Kaeya flying straight to where his horses are - which is conveniently so very far away from his tavern.
You? You are good, he likes you. It’s not your fault, the redhead is convinced that the Cavalry Captain’s (horseless haha– ahem, okay, that’s actually funny) antics have long rubbed on onto you. His future sister-in-law can never do anything wrong on her own accord.
“Hey, Diluc, do you mind mixing another one for me and my Kissing King who holds the keys to the treasure chamber that is my heart?”
…maybe he should go back on his last statement. Holy church of Barbatos, and here he is trying to defend you to his own mind, could’ve helped him a little.
“...Sure.”
“What’s wrong, Diluc?” You blink, confused, but the slight worry in your voice doesn’t escape his attention. “Long shift? I don’t mean to sound offensive, but you don’t look really well.”
“Yeah, you look like you’ve swallowed something very unsavory and then saw a bunch of Fatui soldiers,” Kaeya smirks, lowering the now empty glass and sliding it to the side. Then he plants his elbow on the counter and puts his chin on the palm, half turning to you. To Diluc’s horror he opens his mouth, undoubtedly in preparation to spew another crazy nickname.
He can’t handle this anymore.
“Glad to know you classify yourself as ‘unsavory’ and ‘a bunch of Fatui soldiers’, Kaeya,” the tavern owner deadpans, but there is hardly conveyed desperation behind his blank tone. “Could you please stop?”
“Stop what?” You blink, even more confused, glancing between the two men. Your lover chuckles, reaching out his unoccupied hand and gently running the fingertips up your cheek.
“My brother means to say,” he tucks the strand of loose hair behind your ear and then boops your nose, “that he is fed up with our flirting, shmoopsie.”
“...what is even this word?”
“But it’s not our fault his sorry ass is single, right, pirate booty?”
“First of all, don’t assume things - you have no proof of whether I’m courting someone or not,” the redhead pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a brief moment, and somehow misses how Kaeya puffs up his chest and does a silly gesture with his hand, mouthing ‘courting’ mockingly, making you giggle. “Second of all,” he picks up the ingredients for your drinks, “I’m bewildered by the terms of endearment you two use, if they even can be called that. You sound like you are trying to insult each other.”
“Listen, you don’t beat your bachelor allegat– ow!”
“Silence, love,” you nudge his side with an elbow, sending your friend an apologetic look. Alright, he likes you again. “Sorry, Diluc, I tend to forget that you are used to the things that are more…”
“Old-fashioned?” Kaeya snickers and then immediately yelps, when you dig the sharp edge of your arm firmer into his ribs.
“I wanted to say chivalrous,” you roll your eyes halfheartedly. “We are not trying to insult each other, trust me. Simply testing the capability of our imagination.”
“...uh-huh,” he hums, not quite convinced, but having accepted the strange way your brain works. Then he slides your glasses forward.
For a couple minutes the air between you three is filled with a comfortable silence. You suck on the straw happily, having leaned onto your boyfriend’s shoulder, as he’s wrapped an arm around yours, sipping on his own drink. Diluc has busied himself with washing glasses and then an order for two tables on the second floor, temporarily taking off his mind from the verbal nonsense-filled duel his two patrons had minutes prior.
He doesn’t even react when they start whispering among each other.
“He’s hilarious, isn’t he?” the knight murmurs into your hair, not wasting an opportunity to kiss your temple.
“Way to tell me you’ve specifically been choosing his shifts and these exact stools to occupy,” snorting, you bring down your half-empty glass. “When did you notice his peculiar reaction to our sweet-talking?”
“Mmm… two months ago when we stopped by the winery to bring Adelinde the souvenirs we got in Sumeru and he happened to be there too. He was visibly cringing, especially when I was calling you ‘my favorite heatstroke’ and ‘the one who lives in my bones’. To the first one he looked like he was offended for your honor, and to the second he was blinking ridiculously like an owl.
“Wow, how weirdly specific. But I’m sure I said some…stuff too, so it’s on both of us.”
“You know me, always paying attention to any moment you are involved in, snowflake,” he winks - well, you think he does - and salutes you with his glass. You can’t help but smile, responding in kind.
“I’m touched, it’s like I am dating the embodiment of romance.”
“Obviously. Why else would Donna take notes every time we are exchanging our cute loving petnames?’
“What.”
Oh, looks like Diluc is back to being the participant of your conversation. And, honestly, you start to feel kinda sorry for him - you can’t say you’ve ever seen so many shades of distress on his face in the span of just one hour.
Of course, Kaeya is going to end him.
“Didn’t you know?” your boyfriend is blinking in such feigned surprise, that would’ve gone perfectly with a loud gasp. “Okay, then listen. I accidentally stumbled upon her notebook a week ago. Left it open on the bench next to the Cat’s Tail - I had to check the contents to find out to whom it belonged. And ooooh boy, she’s been diligent. Moreover, she actually upgraded some of them! For example–”
Alright, a mental note to avoid Donna if she ever gets a partner. Like, good for her, splendid even.
But he doesn’t think he’ll survive another couple like his brother and his girlfriend.
Sorry no fanfiction today. Been in a bit of a slump with writing lately.
Feeling my hands and brain itch to try to learn how to draw people and horses just to give Kaeya his horses back. ..neither are going well tbh, people and horsies are kinda hard to draw. Proceeds to doodle dragons instead. Task failed successfully, oop.
Maybe writing it down somewhere, where someone will see will give me enough motivation to continue? Got any reccomendations for finding reference pictures? Especially like with human horse interactions? Or is that still too ambitious at the moment? I usually prefer referencing the real thing when possible but all i got is a little plastic horse, a pencil and a dream lol.
Various characters: Venti, Kaeya, Diluc, also Zhongli but he's only mentioned briefly (intended as x reader but can be read as platonic too maybe?)
Other characters: Fischl, Lisa, Donna (no shipping intended here aside from Donnas one sided self ship we all know about)
Tags:
Silly ideas, gender neutral reader, reader insert, not really written out just jumbled notes, alcohol mention
Notes:
help i think my humor might be broken, the horrors of knowing someone writes fanfiction about you and that they will share it with everyone, Venti being a mischievious little menace as a form of affection
---
Venti, who snatched up your phone a moment ago: wdym u got 69 finished fanfics about that old lizard but only 1 unfinished draft about me? (he whines)
Venti: we need to change this
You, panic mode activated: Venti nO
Venti, already writing stuff about you and him with the intention to post it all on your account: Venti yes, ehehe~
(say goodbye to your phone until he is satisfied with the amount of stuff about u both, they will be popular too bc he is a good writer lol)
---
You: i'm doomed
Kaeya, trying to be comforting: now now, it can't be that bad
You: Venti is writing fanfiction about me
Kaeya, winces: nevermind you're doomed
---
You, at the tavern: (looking like a pathetic wet cat)
Diluc: ..rough day?
You:
Diluc, already making u a hot chocolate: got it.
Kaeya: better add a shot to it
Diluc: no why would i do that
Kaeya: Venti is writing fanfiction about 'em
Diluc, distant expression on his face: ...
(He is having flashbacks to the past fanfiction incident (tm) that was basically just Donna writing a thinly veiled self insert about Diluc and then the pages got strewn all over Mondstadt during the storm terror incident. People still find pages of it sometimes, Donna is horrified about the possibility of certain pages being found at some point and so is Diluc. Some people seem to think it's a scavenger hunt and that scares them even more.
Fischl is secretly collecting them and getting people to give the pages to her. She likes a good fanfiction okay lol. She just needs to know what happens next. Lisa is watching the chaos with great amusement. She is also teaching Fischl how to bind the pages into a proper book.)
So much stuff happening in Mondstadt lately..
..hm, must have been the wind, eheh.
---
Bonus:
Diluc: i fear no man
The super secret smut page from Donnas fanfiction about him: exists
Diluc, visibly uncomfortable: but this ..thing
(he needs to see it burn or he will not be able to sleep peacefully ever again)
