Silly Synopses

Incorrect summaries of all the trashy stuff I like 💅

[sillysynopses]

We should all know by now never to trust blond men, but for the stars of this action packed adventure the answers come just a little too late! Come along on the thrill ride of the year as an aspiring young musician gets thrown into a reality tv show that’s slightly harder than the voice and nowhere near as evil as Americas got Talent. As sparks fly between this songbird and her would be agent, cries to demilitarise the government are heard and then swiftly ignored in favour of improving reality tv. Tragedy strikes when our young heroine’s new beau is caught helping her cheat and the two are separated, but fate strikes one again after she finds out her new friends have been sent to a bargain bin military school that’s in the same location as her hometown and it looks like romance is back in the cards after all! A few executions and a song break later, it turns out the man of her dreams isn’t quite who she thought he was, and the real song was within her all along. What more could you want from the best musical about politics and killing children since bugsy malone!

[sillysynopses]

An ex convict, neglected nepo baby and level 12 bland white man team up to bolster the regime of a dictator whilst also forming life long bonds and experimenting with one another sexually. Watch as the gang goes from fetch quests to killing actual god, as the magical blonde girl traverses the globe, finding love with a man who has a face tattoo instead of a personality. But that’s not all folks! Watch these characters undergo trauma after unbelievable trauma, like getting possessed by a demon, being paralysed, surviving sex slavery, or being bisexual. And that’s just the tip of the fairy shaped iceberg! Never before have characters been hotter, dumber and this incompetent. You’ll laugh, cry, and shit your pants when a terrifying murder witch who may or may not have eaten children appears in book 3 and steals everyone else’s thunder, prompting questions like: why wasn’t this series about her, AND just how many innocent people can a character kill and still remain likeable. The answer, as always, will surprise you ;)

[sillysynopses]

The phrase ‘and they were roommates’ finally finds its origin as two men enacting scientific war crimes rather than fuck one another, encounter a pair of sisters who need therapy, a dog that really just needs to go to a better home, and the most innocent cyber criminal slash hired muscle you’ll ever encounter. Watch as this group of people burn through a city that might as well be New York but possibly isn’t for legal reasons, and murder a bunch of innocent people who probably had it coming anyway because they were possessed by the devil- or at least that’s what the traumatised religious man keeps telling himself- anyway, join in on the rom com of the century as these two crazy kids prove you need a lot more than good chemistry to make a relationship work- you also need a defibrillator!

[sillysynopses]

the meanest girl from your high school, coming off a year long bender answering the question of 'just how awful can I be?' with a confident YES, starts hate fucking her personal trainer as she trauma bonds with local business woman and a librarian. a shared love of erotica somehow leads them to the burning man from hell, as they learn the only thing stronger than the power of friendship is a big fuck off sword, and that the true meaning of feminism isn't just about female empowerment, it's also about fucking a hot guy with a man bun and eventually having his children.