Star Wars Time Travel AU
Vader does go back in time
He doesn’t swear loyalty to Padme, Obi-Wan or Ahsoka
He swears absolute loyalty to Captain Rex
You are one of the Cuy'val Dar. Your job is training small clones of an old friend to be very dangerous adults. You do not like this job, but it pays well and keeps you quietly squirreled away from That One Crimelord You Pissed Off.
The Grim Reaper just blew a hole in the wall and swore loyalty to a nameless toddler.
The Kaminoan that tried to approach has been cut in half by a red lightsaber.
The entire room is full of crying children.
Fett just showed up and is being threatened by the Black Hole of a Sentient Being in the middle of the room to stay the fuck away.
The blaster shot from Dred Priest accomplished jackshit, and was in fact bounced back to kill the man.
Isabet just lost her head, literally, trying to get revenge on the absolute motherfucker in the middle of the room.
The kids are still crying, including the nameless toddler that this asshole declared his new lord and master.
What do you do?
are you going to kick him out? no, no you aren’t, but you do need to show him how to hold the kid before he drops him and decides it’s your fault and you lose your head to
#Vader swears his allegiance to a toddler and then doesn’t know what to do when said toddler can’t actually give him instructions#he’s a whole mess and Jango can’t even get rid of him#honestly he wishes it were a jedi at this point (via @adreamfromnevermore)
Jango decides to use the shortcut “Phone a Friend”! It’s questionably effective. The “friend” is Dooku.
Dooku sees the half-assed photo of Vader threatening someone with a red saber and goes “this is obviously one of Sidious’s ploys to fuck with me and/or a competing apprentice” and decides to handle it personally. He does not call Sidious about this, because that would be losing.
Dooku gets to Kamino. Vader is intensely incomprehensible. They have a big fancy battle.
Dooku dies.
Vader is just carrying around Rex on one uncomfortably metal-clad hip this entire time. The main reason Jango’s still alive, really, is that he has babycare advice, and tells Vader things like “You should probably put some padding in that sling, your armor is hurting him” and then Vader just. Does that.
Single Dad Jango is only not dead because he has Single Dad Advice.
The Kaminoans contact the Jedi Temple about The Situation That Is Vader, who won’t fucking leave, because apparently Rex will only be happy if he stays with his brothers, and so that means Vader must stay as well.
The Jedi show up, utterly confused about many things, but generally in agreement that this is an absolutely terrible situation and probably requires a council master to handle because, like… Sith. And an army. And Fett. And Mandalorians.
There’s a lot going on, is the point, and none of it should be handled by a knight.
The Jedi in question are Mace and Plo.
Vader has a grudge against Mace but he pretends he doesn’t because that would be so passe and beneath him.
Vader does not have a grudge against Plo. He’s actually quite neutral on Plo, for Ahsoka reasons, and mostly just tells Plo to go handle children.
Plo would love to play with the kids, but Plo is here to help Mace fight a fucking Sith Lord.
The Sith Lord is not impressed. He is actually quite busy, standing dramatically in front a window and holding tiny Rex, informing him in grand phrases and sweeping gestures that the universe will be his for the taking.
(Rex is busy chewing on a toddler toy.)
Jango is ready to just throw in the towel. He signed up for a lot, but This Bullshit wasn’t it.
Sidious still hasn’t received word from Literally Anyone about this.
#ani ANI #youre scaring the CHILDREN #the visuals of vader carrying baby rex on one hip while saying things like #‘my master there is a vastness in this galaxy that will be under your command’ #‘know that i will do all it takes that it falls into your grasp’ #and rex is just gnawing on a star shaped teething toy #jango watching this tall black lunatic carying his son: CONCERNED NOISES (via @chocmarss)
There are literal tears streaming down my face at this 😂😂😂





















