im just tired @simplyworm - Tumblr Blog

the entirety of tlwtwt is people saying “why would you show up fat and wearing jeans” and it’s fucking sending me that’s entering my vernacular immediately

ur-favorite-fishgirl

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

that-stone-butch

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

elfwreck

machine-saint

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

madnessofmen

wait it gets better

living-history-lesson

Image ID: a screenshot of text reading as follows:

"There are at least three," Biden responded, without missing a beat.

The woman asked him to name them.

"Don't play games with me kid," Biden responded, shutting her down. /end ID

kosmogrl

sacred-portal

moveslikekeithrichards

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

starofhisheart

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

lizlemondyke

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around