Love in the Time of Detachment

A 34-year -old woman's experiences in the world of swipey app dating.

[singleladymidnight-blog]

About Me

  Not that it is important to know all that much about me, but there are some things that I feel make a difference in how my writings may be perceived, (or received).  Keeping it short, here are some facts:

1. I am a lady born and raised in the northern states now currently living in the southern US. Dating, as I have learned, if very different here. (I will get into this later.)

2. In the past, I have been a serial monogamist. This stopped about 3 years ago. I have dated a few guys since, (met online), and both ended up to be total disasters, (don’t worry, more also about this later).

3. I have finally learned, after a lot of soul searching, that I am worthy of love. Having high standards is okay. Even if I am not the most beautiful, fit, successful woman, I deserve to be loved by someone who is kind, smart, and attractive to me. 

4. I don’t do one night stands. Period. I am by no means a virgin, and I have made my fair share of bad judgment calls. However, in this race-against-time type of dating world that I have thrown myself into, I will not succumb before I FEEL TRUST AND LOVE. 

This is VERY different from how I viewed intimacy before.  In my past few experiences, I had moved WAY TOO FAST for my comfort level- and the results proved my decisions to be disastrous.  Most were fueled by cocktails. Some were pathetic attempts to get them to “want” me.  Which takes us to the fact that...

5. I am insecure and have low self-esteem.  This stems from childhood abuse, (not going to get too deep on this), and things that have happened to me sexually in my past. I know that I am not the only one that is tackling this as an obstacle IN ADDITION to trying to find a decent partner in this crazy life. Anyway, this is important to know, I feel, in order to get the full picture of who I am as a blogger. 

Sure, there are other things about me, but these are some of the most basic things that may have an affect on the way what I write about is viewed. I am sure other details will be oozing out everywhere else as this thing rolls along.  I have been on three dates in the past week with 2 different men. Because I am starting this after the fact, I will simply blog after the dates that I have with them/interactions that are worth writing about.  Ciao for now!

[singleladymidnight-blog]

Well, here it is.

After writing strange and cryptic notes on my iPhone, I decided to document my experiences in the dating world, (specifically virtual dating), for a few reasons: 1. To journal and document my experiences clearly, 2. To entertain myself and possibly others, 3. To provide raw and honest details and advice in hopes that this may give someone somewhere relief, hope, reassurance, empathetic words, or all of the above.

I am not taking myself seriously, (I have no idea what I am doing, if we're honest), and am using this blog as a reflective device. An emotional and impatient person, I hope to learn to analyze fairly, enjoy the good experiences in a patient way, and laugh about things that blow up in my face without feeling that there must be something wrong with me, (unless I deserve it, of course. In that case, I reassess... but still get to laugh).