siphonophore.sys

messy vent blog + figuring out my plurality for now - (admin 18+)

[siphonophoresys]

running a ttrpg campaign where my friends are totally not interacting regularly with one of my alters unmasked 👉👈

[just-writing-ideas]

specific story starters

because sometimes all you need to get the creative juices flowing is a first line

-“nobody had stepped inside for many, many years. how many years, exactly, will always be unknown, because the house had no living witnesses to say. not just those who’d entered, but everyone who’d ever gazed upon it.”

-“it was there and then, at five years old, scooping up fistfuls of sand and letting them fall between her fingers like an hourglass, that her fate would be decided.”

-“he ran for what felt like hours. he ran until he thought the sweat rolling down his neck could’ve very well been his liquidized brain dripping out of his ears.”

-“she licked her lips, and off came the strawberry pound cake flavor of her lipgloss. flavored because she came here to kiss, not get mixed up in… whatever this was.”

-“‘you heard it here first, folks!’ the television announced, static-y and broken up, and sounding more jovial than it should’ve, given the topic. ‘a serial killer running free in staten island, 13 lives claimed, carving strange symbols into the foreheads of his victims! the mystery’s unravelling live! more at six!’”

[siphonophoresys]

i need medical professionals to know that when i rate my pain on a scale of one to ten, a six is actually pretty considerate because i am imagining ten as like. being skinned alive. giving birth. having all my organs vivisected completely conscious. things i cannot even comprehend. and so suddenly this doesn't seem *that* bad in comparison 🧍

[royal-we-collective]

Another one of those nights were co-fronters can only vaguely feel eachother, but I wanted to tell it differently this time

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: yeah i don't think they like me so i just kind of fervently avoid them now haha but i think they're really cool! no they didn't say anything and we actually were hanging out like every other day and becoming really good friends but it's just a feeling you know?

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: idk like i just never really felt comfortable... comforting people, you know? like what if i make them feel WORSE or it falls flat and they think i'm looking down on them? but i really wanna help my friends so i just do like ten other things but it doesn't really feel like i'm "making up for it"

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: let me just check my account before i buy this to make sure i have enough money. what. i know i just did that before i bought the last thing two minutes ago. but what if it's changed. what if i'm remembering wrong. let me just transfer some more just in case this small inexpensive item is 300 dollars more than i think it is somehow.

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: yeah i don't think they like me so i just kind of fervently avoid them now haha but i think they're really cool! no they didn't say anything and we actually were hanging out like every other day and becoming really good friends but it's just a feeling you know?

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: idk like i just never really felt comfortable... comforting people, you know? like what if i make them feel WORSE or it falls flat and they think i'm looking down on them? but i really wanna help my friends so i just do like ten other things but it doesn't really feel like i'm "making up for it"

[siphonophoresys]

guy who definitely doesn't have OCD: yeah i don't think they like me so i just kind of fervently avoid them now haha but i think they're really cool! no they didn't say anything and we actually were hanging out like every other day and becoming really good friends but it's just a feeling you know?

[scooplery]

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

[changelingcoded]

if youre a lost cause people stop expecting things of you

[changelingcoded]

[periodic-counsel]

i often flip flop between periods of high activity and being completely alone. i stg as soon as i get comfortable with one bam. the other one happens

[medleyofmind]

my friend red

red is my friend.

she is sarcastic, overly-blunt, critical, defensive, self-aggrandizing, self loathing.

this walking contradiction. this nebulous figure in our head that screams that it exists. BUT ISN'T ALLOWED.

eventually, some of us decided to actively reach out to him. a lot of early attempts were destroyed by him. but slowly, the barrier on expression was lifted.

and we saw her turmoil first hand. we experienced her crisis of purpose. we experienced her fight for identity. we saw her panic attacks, and we began to understand her habits. we got to know red.

red grabs our turmoil by the neck and barks at us to run while it gouges him.

every part of us that is unpalatable, forbidden, impossible, terrifying, it goes to him. he holds it.

his methods are extremely questionable. his desire for retribution is dangerous. she is enraged. for us. and she is tired.

red is my friend.

[liberalsarecool]

Ownership meant a physical copy. Now you own nothing and can't find what you want across multiple streaming platforms.

Bring back headphones that plug in. Bring back expandable memory. Bring back owning media.

[introns]

[hmmm-official]

hmmm

[tinsnip]

That’s a tarot card

[modmad]

[onlywayin-deactivated20231101]

[wander-in-arda]

I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.

[fiddlertoad]

the whole vaccine deal tbh

[i-am-emily]

antidepressants

[wizardavid]

Yes these are all the work of wizards

[fagstaynight]

(getting a taste of my own medicine) actually this is okay. Is this what you guys have bene whining about? Jesus christ

[shroomshroomm]

[burnazog]

[thegadaboutgirl]

One more for the collection. Book is Stars at Last by Jessica Jocelyn

[siphonophoresys]

alter who is so happy to front they cry