i love being queer

// sam/mordecai // hen/hens, ne/nym, ae/aer, he/him // transmasc felisgender //queer // 17 // autistic // this is my other art/discourse/misc. blog!

[xyfarfromthetree]

[sammyclassicsjwfan]

oh wow im officially “peak trans” i guess

[yorksilk]

So which is it then if not perception op? Is it molecules or guessing what’s in someone’s pants?

[dinosaur-trender]

ah yes sexuality is about being attracted to chromosomes not the actual person

[queersona]

me when i use my x-ray vision to see someone’s chromosomes to accurately determine if i can be attracted to them or not:

[girlsfrommars]

Actually that’s me using supervision to see what someone’s gender identity is so I can determine if I can feel attracted to them. After all, you can’t just assume someone’s identity

[dorkinbrit-deactivated20200105]

Also they must be terrible in their classes. What do they think chromosomes are? Do they need a lesson cause chromosomes are just wrapped up dna….they k ow what DNA is right? We don’t need xray vision to see the phenotype of DNA they know this I hope

[terflies]

There seems to be a difficulty, or refusal, by TERFs et al. to recognise that human sexuality, like all human experience, is subjective. It’s isn’t a simple mechanism of objective reality where people are automatically and inerrantly attracted to people based on some objective criterion. There’s no honest reason to think anyone is confused about what chromosomes are. But phenotype is not genotype, and that’s actually the point.

Whether [your] sexuality is to people of a certain sex or a certain gender, people are always attracted to people based on their fallible, subjective perception of them. That is what @dysphoric-sjw was referring to.

[bowsersex-deactivated20220424]

“But they need to have dysphagia”

[mrbiglong3000]

catch me in the gender clinic pretending to struggle to swallow water so the endocrinologist will give me my boy juice

[bowsersex-deactivated20220424]

Don’t even fucking THINK about calling yourself trans unless you can’t swallow

[dog-teeth]

can i get a yeehaw for ongoing gender crisises!!

[birdofprey1234]

We are not enemies.

[bb-radfem]

y’all what the fuuuuuuuck. this poor lady trying to learn to self-censor so her shitty kid won’t call the thought crime police is just rly fucked up

[antiterf]

TERF Tip!

A mom trying to be nice to her kid and who voluntarily deemed a cat to be non binary to practice they/them pronouns is a tortured victim silenced by the transcult! It’s not like minds can change or anything after actually listing to her kid!

[genderidentitty]

Yeah, everyone’s mom should be nice to him or her (hopefully) but many people will continue to not giving a fuck about your they/them pronouns. This post isn’t “bad” per se it’s just cringey as fuck that some people - even parents - allow themselves to be policed on what they say; especially considering you use pronouns to talk about, not to, someone.

And I know it’s a cat but, declaring something as non-binary for your convenience seems out of step with the whole “you can’t decide someone else’s gender!” idiocy you people are on about.

[terflies]

This is a good example of how TERFs et al. will manipulate context to suit a preferred narrative.

What these screenshots show, at face value, is a trans person talking about how their mum, of her own volition, has decided to use singular they/them pronouns to refer to her cat in order to get used to them. We can infer that her views on and understanding of trans people/gender have developed over the last three years or so, and the child is supportive of her, but that’s it.

But @bb-radfem reports it as the mum “learning to self-censor”, and describes her kid as “shitty” and willing to “call the thought crime police” despite there being exactly nothing in context to suggest anything like that. Even when @terf-tips mocks this narrative, @radbadbish echoes this by describing the mum as “allowing [herself] to be policed on what [she] says” rather than, y’know, genuinely caring about other people. Being nice.

We do not know the mum’s motivations, but this recontextualisation of her actions requires us to assume her true beliefs are trans-negative in opposition to the trans-positive behaviour she demonstrates. Besides being intellectually dishonest, this is deeply disrespectful—but also very common. TERFs frequently describe women supporting trans people as having been manipulated into doing so, refusing the possibility that their support is genuine. Compare to accusations of “virtue signalling”.

The suggestion, meanwhile, that this “self-censorship” is uniquely a bad thing when concerning trans people—and not, for example, making efforts not to use misogynist, racist, or ableist slurs—is special pleading. And of course respect (and not being a bigot) extends to talking about someone, not just to them.

And, yes, Levi is a cat. They don’t actually have genders of any kind. Not dictating people’s gender applies to people.

[lunarbisexuals-deactivated20191]

an edit of ‘The Heritage of Pride’ by Keith Haring (1980s) with the transgender, gay, lesbian and bisexual flags 🏳️‍🌈

[acegender]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[trilllizard666]

normal fuckin human being

[uncle-beanbag]

Self loading carbine simonov

[dashaibo]

My gender is not trivializing the problems of an already struggling minority with an incurable neurological disorder.

[terflies]

My gender is letting trans people have fun, for goodness’ sake.

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: a pink background with yellow stars, white text with a black shadow reads “queer kids need queer representation”.)

[birdofprey1234]

The way that exclusionists treat ace and aro people often reminds me of how the average person would treat me when I started being open as non-binary. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times, we are not enemies. Our experiences do not oppose each other, they are intertwined. If you’re ace, if you’re aromantic, if you’re any variation thereupon; your home is here. You belong here, too. You are beautiful, and powerful; and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are a valued part of this community.

[vaspider]

Hi Mx. Spider. I know you have a lot going on right now, so feel free to ignore if you're not able/willing to answer. I'm afab NB, and my dysphoria is mainly centered around menses and the possibility of pregnancy. My goals for transition are to get a tubal ligation and uterine ablation; I'm not really interested in top/bottom surgery or hormones. I'm seeing a doctor soon to (hopefully) get approved for ligation and ablation, but I'm nervous about sharing this. (1/2)

When I have told people about my transition goals before, they seem to react somewhat negatively. I get the feeling that people think I’m not really trans because I don’t have an issue with the outward appearance of my body, but rather the things my body does/can do. I do use they/them pronouns and I definitely feel disconnected from femininity and the female experience, but I’m not sure if that’s enough. Is it wrong of me to identify as non-binary? Any advice would be deeply appreciated. (2/2)

Oh my gosh. So, I actually stopped the graphics work that I was doing in order to make this convenient graphic for you and anyone else who needs it, on this the first day of Gay Wrath Month:

[Image description: a flow chart. The first question asks: ‘Do you identify as the gender you were assigned at birth?’ this leads to ‘yes’ and the answer ‘Congratulations! You are cisgender.’ and then to ‘no’ and ‘Congratulations, you are transgender, should you choose to identify this way, and no one gets to gatekeep your identity based on whether or not you have dysphoria or want to medically transition!’ From that box, it leads to another question: ‘But am I trans enough? I don’t want to medically transition, or only want to do [this thing], or maybe I don’t have dysphoria, or…’ and from there to a box which reads: ‘Yes, you’re trans enough! Gatekeeping based on medical transition and existence of dysphoria only serves the cisgender majority and contributes to our further oppression by enforcing cis-centric standards of hegemony and dictating that our stories must be centered around misery and suffering rather than joy. If you must suffer to be trans, then being trans is only ever suffering. We are more than our pain.’ On the side of the image are white words outlined in rainbow reading ‘You Are Trans Enough. You Are Enough.’ The image is marked with the NerdyKeppie signature logo and URL.]

My salpingectomy was one of the most gender-confirming things I’ve ever, ever done for myself.  Ever. I’m so happy that I did it. So I can personally say that I really hope that you get to do your bit soon. (Check into a salpingectomy instead of just a tubal ligation, btw – my surgeon said she might as well take them out since she was in there, and it lowers your future cancer risk to not have those tubes just floating about in there.)

You are trans enough. You are enough.

[assignedmale]

[asterosian]

It’s really not much to ask cis gay people not to be weirdly transphobic about their genitalia preferences but apparently asking someone to keep their rejection to “sorry, I’m not interested/I’m not comfortable with that” and not add some bullshit like “i only like REAL men/women and not FAKE ones like YOU with your dick/pussy” is too fucking much

“I like dick” is fine. “If you weren’t born with a dick, you’re not a real man” is transphobic.

“I don’t want to have sex with someone who has a vagina” is fine. “Trans men are actually women and I wouldn’t have sex with one even if he had bottom surgery” is transphobic.

“Wah why do you wanna force people to have sex with you?” I don’t. I want you to think about your prejudices. I want you to question your transphobia. I want you to at the very least not be an asshole and say all this shit to our faces because you can have preferences without telling trans people we’re not really the genders we say we are. I want to live in a world with fewer transphobes and that means believing that people who insist on announcing the transphobic reasons behind their preferences are fully capable of taking a step back and asking themselves “do I really need to do this” and “am I really in the right here, making people feel like shit by aggressively announcing how unfuckable I think they are”. You’re allowed to not want to have sex with a trans person. You just can’t make a huge fuckin deal out of it or tell the trans person it’s cause they’re not who they say they are.

[ratliker1917]

I would also add “you’re not allowed to throw a fit whenever trans people write about how transphobic prejudice plays a major role in cis people categorically refusing to date all of us, or act like making you conscious of the fact you may be influenced by social prejudice is actually oppression”, which happens a lot whenever we point out that a lot of the time “genital preference” is closer to being a euphemism for “i’m repulsed by trans people”.

[terflies]

More: please don’t confuse “everyone is entitled to inviolable sexual boundaries” for “it is impossible for those boundaries to come from bigotry”. No, that doesn’t mean genital preferences must be bigotry, nor am I suggesting yours are, hypothetical person. Only you can know that.

Likewise if you see this as an intrinsic part of your sexuality, not a preference, that is fine—but don’t attribute it to the sexuality of others. “I’m a lesbian and not attracted to penises” is fine. “I’m not attracted to penises because I’m a lesbian” is not. “Lesbians attracted to anyone with a penis are secretly bi or lying” is definitely not okay.

[auntiewanda]

Of course I was blocked by @drewsinead before I could write this but for posterity: 

“Straight people are not calling themselves queer.“

Behold an opposite sex couple getting married as they’ve always been allowed and encouraged to do. But because they call themselves non-binary it gets to be QUEER now. Would you like more examples? I’m sure I can find them.

[therealdanacardinal]

Wow it’s almost like,,,, nonbinary people,,, people who don’t identify as their biological sex,,,, are part of the lgbt community,,,,

[plenoptic07]

I try to keep my nose out of shit like this but today. man. today I encountered something that really ticked me off.

today I met a professor who does queer studies. she told me that her teenage gay son yelled at her recently for using the word “queer” in describing her discipline and demanded to know how the university “could get away with calling it that.”

so of course she’s baffled right, and asks him where on earth this is coming from. and he told her he read it on Tumblr. 

listen if you don’t want to be called queer and don’t want to be lumped in with folks who comprise the queer community, that’s fine. that’s totally fine. it is 100% okay. people are allowed to have complicated histories with that word. it’s a fraught signifier. it’s a mess and it’s allowed to be. 

what’s not cool is telling young LGBTQ+ people that queer is a slur in all contexts because now you are stripping away not just the language that we use to describe ourselves but also the language that creates the discipline that lets us study our own lives and our cultures. Queer studies has been a part of American academe since the 1970s (possibly earlier, depending on who you ask). “Queer” has been a functioning and largely unproblematic signifier in American academe since ten years before the AIDS crisis. If you don’t at least know that much, you have absolutely no business trying to educate LGBTQ+ youth about queer history.

Trying to censor the word queer from our collective cultural lexicon is 1) impossible. it’s here now. and 2) an erasure of our lineage of scholarship. I could spend all day lobbing criticisms at American academic culture and I do, but queers created space for ourselves in academe. We built a queer world inside the tower that tried its best to keep us out and now we have a place here. 

I am a queer person and I am a queer scholar. You use whatever words you want to signify who you are and how you live your life and how you love your loves. You won’t hear a peep of criticism from me.  All I’m asking is that you do me and mine the courtesy of leaving our collective body of text very much the fuck alone.

[korrasera]

This is what I mean when I and people like me talk about the way that queerphobia is something that people with really shitty attitudes are intentionally trying to teach to young people, specifically to harm us.

So yeah, exclusionists go right in that same bucket as TERFs when it comes to being conservative authoritarians that are trying to threaten a huge part of the LGBTQ+ community.

[discourse-deku]

“If ur truscum/transmed ur invalidating trans people!! You’re horrible!!”

Here’s a thought

people without gender dysphoria aren’t trans that’s the whole ass point

[eternal-fractal]

Stop telling people they need to hate their body to identify as another gender.

Bad post op.

[wild-jackson8-deactivated202009]

i dont like to disagree w/ u here bc i really like u but thats wrong. the only reason why u would identify as another gender is bc u hate yourself as the gender u r now. so u would hate ur body too. thats the whole point.

[eternal-fractal]

Stop telling people they need to hate their body to identify as another gender.

I dont want kids like you following my blog.

[ringwaldhaze]

Trans literally means identifying as a different gender as the one you were born as. You dont need to hate your body to he trans.

[discourse-deku]

No, trans means you “transition” from one gender to another. Some non binary people won’t call themselves trans because they don’t want to transition. But actual trans people, want to pass. Which is why they go on hormones, get surgeries. Not all trans people can do this due to medical issues, personal issues, and other things but all trans people WANT to be able to be recognized as the gender they identify with. That’s what would get rid of social dysphoria, while the surgeries/hormones would get rid of bodily dysphoria. Also, you don’t have to hate yourself. Jesus. Y’all got no idea what dysphoria means no wonder you think if someone identifies as a fuckin alien bunny mermaid they’re “valid uwu”

[terflies]

From the perspective of non-transmeds “people without gender dysphoria aren’t trans” is exactly what they mean by “invalidating trans people”. We know transmeds don’t think they’re trans—that’s the whole-ass criticism.

@cause-a-gay-has-got-to-slay is right. They essential trait of being trans is to be a gender other than your assigned gender/sex. That is what the ‘trans’ in transsexual/transgender means: “across” (cf. ‘cis’: “on the same side”).

That ‘transition’ has a similar etymology is no coincidence, but it’s not what trans means. If some nonbinary people don’t call themselves ‘trans’ that’s their right to do so—I know some, particularly from certain cultures reject assigned gender entirely so they don’t see ‘cis’ or ‘trans’ as applicable—but it’s not generally the case.

And while it’s true that trans people want to be recognised as their gender they are, passing is subjective and largely defined by cis people. Generally it means passing as cis rather than being recognised as their gender, and it’s entirely possible for non-passing people to be recognised as their gender (something that we should encourage).

[trucore-positivity]

Another PSA from your local trumed nonbinary!

Your dysphoria doesn’t have to be crippling

You don’t have to have every single type of dysphoria

You don’t have to conform to gender roles to have dysphoria

You don’t have to “wish you were cis”, or hate yourself, to have dysphoria

You don’t have to feel sad all the time to have dysphoria!

Dysphoria doesnt equal crippling mental pain like tucutes stereotype! It just means a dissconnect from the gender in your brain and your body that causes discomfort to some degree! Both trans people and nonbinary people get dysphoria, although usually in different forms!

You don’t need to conform to gender roles to be trans, you just need dysphoria!

If you have dysphoria in any form, you are valid!!

[terflies]

Transmeds please stop using non-medical definitions for medical concepts.

Dysphoria, medically speaking, is a chronic, negative emotional state that affects your functioning and/or well-being; it is not just “discomfort to some degree”. Gender Dysphoria is dysphoria associated with a difference between one’s gender and one’s assigned gender/sex; it categorically is not “a disconnect from the gender in your brained your body”.

[transmedcentral]

I noticed in one of your posts you described the term pansexual as transphobic. Could you please explain your reasoning for this? I’m genuinely curious in your perspective and would love to know!

Of course! I answered this question once before, but I feel as though I didn’t explain it well enough. The definition of bisexual is “sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women.” When people typically describe themselves as pansexual, and I’ve heard this many times, they will say

“I am attracted to men, women, and trans people. I like all regardless.” 

In that phrase alone, that person is stating that trans people are not men and women, but are some sort of “other.” Therefore, whether they mean to or not, are excluding trans people from when they mentally are. This idea that a transman is not a man just because he was born with a vagina, is actual transphobia. When stating things like “Gender is a social construct, and I like all” people are invalidating gender dysphoria and the struggle that transsexual people go through.

This also insinuates that a bisexual person would not date a trans person, which makes no sense seeing as though bisexual means both. A bisexual person is just as likely to date a trans person, as someone who identifies as pansexual.

In short, I believe that pansexual is just a fancy word for being bisexual or feeling more “special” by having a different label. And even though they mean the same thing, the idea that you have to have a special orientation to date a trans person is transphobic, and that is why I believe pansexuality in itself, is transphobic.

[terflies]

“I am attracted to men, women, and trans people. I like all regardless.” is transphobic, but it isn’t the only definition of ‘pansexual’. It doesn’t mean pansexuality is inherently transphobic any more than bisexuality is just because some define that as “attraction to both genders”.

Likewise “hearts not parts” is biphobic and homophobic, but that isn’t the definition of ‘pansexual’ (or ‘bisexual’) either.

While bisexuality is attraction to people of two or more genders, pansexuality is attraction to people of all genders. (i.e. pansexual people are bisexual, but not all bisexual people are pansexual.)

That’s it. 

It’s not “just a fancy word for being bisexual or feeling more ‘special’”.