The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
Here's a sneak peek at my piece I did for the 3rd and final volume of @broadsandbroadswords Zine! Pre-orders are currently opening and running until June 24. Most importantly all proceeds go to the Transgender Law Center and Point of Pride. Please check it out and support if you are able!
of note: 95% of libya is desert, and giraffes are not found there! but this predates not just the libyan desert, but the entire sahara desert it's a part of! giraffes aren't found there any more and this is a memory of a time when things were giraffier
also apparently this rock art dates across multiple periods spanning thousands of years? but i couldn't find much detail on that so i can't give specifics
but yeah, this isn't just a memory of giraffes, but of giraffes now absent encountered by people just 2000 years (the difference between the late roman republic and today) out of the ice age, in a climate unfamiliar to any of the hundred billion people born since the desertification of the sahara drove the ancient egyptians to the nile, near the start of the agricultural revolution
the time between this and the birth of the sahara was nearly as long as the time between the birth of the sahara and now, in which all recorded history is contained, and all languages we can recognise at all - the language and culture of these people would be totally alien to current libyans, twice the difference between the oldest european language and english, predating all but libya's mountains!
and we have pictures of giraffes of the time! what a beautiful gift from such a distant past
"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios!
NAME: Aika (she/her)
AGE: 15
VA: Anairis Quiñones
ROLE: Main Protagonist
BIO:
Aika is an easily excitable and energetic girl. She's generally optimistic and very friendly. She's always eager to try new things as long as it's not her fulltime job of being a magical girl.
As soon as her magical girl duties are brought into the picture, her demeanor changes. She checks out, and often looks for the quickest solution to solve the issue. No flashy transformations and special moves here. She's good with a metal baseball bat or a rocket launcher.
All Aika wants is to live a normal life, make friends and go to school. Unfortunately, like every main protagonist, trouble manages to follow her wherever she goes.
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NAME: Zira (she/they)
AGE: 16
VA: Bennett Abara
ROLE: Love Interest Best Friend
BIO:
Zira is everything Aika wants to be. Painfully average, under the radar and a self proclaimed loser.
She's a smart girl but has a hard time applying herself. Instead of paying attention in school, Zira usually has her head in the clouds and would much rather be reading her favorite magical girl manga, "Moon Sailor".
After Aika forces her friendship upon them, Zira now has to tag along on all of Aika's escapades and experience new things. Ew.
However, they admire Aika deeply and admire her even more after Aika's magical secret comes to light.
Hoshi is one of many star scouts sent out into the universe to find the next Star Guardian. They’re the one who chose Aika and got promoted to the sought after title of “magical mascot.”
Much like Aika, at first, Hoshi was always very chipper and happy to do their work and fulfill their purpose. However, with Aika losing interest, Hoshi’s mood has also been brought down. They’re a bit more sarcastic these days and although they push Aika to do her job (which she begged for by the way) they try to cut Aika some slack by allowing her to use her weird human weapons. Anything to keep her going, right?
They come off as overbearing, but they do want the best for Aika.
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NAME: Eclipse (he/him)
AGE: 15
VA: Aleks Le
ROLE: Minor Antagonist
BIO:
Eclipse is a flamboyant and theatrical guy whose showmanship is out of this world. He refers to himself as "Eclipse: Servant of Darkness".
He was a nuisance that Aika and her team would have to deal with on occasion and normally try to ignore him. Eclipse has deluded himself into thinking that he's Aika's rival and love interest. In his head, their love is simply forbidden as he's chosen the path of darkness and her, the light.
Prior to the beginning of the series, he had no powers, but now he does??? Where did those come from? It's as if he's made a deal with darkness itself…
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NAME: Lady DeVoid (she/her)
AGE: Old
VA: Shara Kirby
ROLE: Main Antagonist
BIO:
Lady DeVoid is darkness itself. She's a mysterious being with an incomprehensible amount of power. Power that is currently weakened and that she can't seem to remember how to use for some reason…
All she recalls is that a long time ago she was defeated and banished by a Star Guardian and that she now wants revenge. While unable to use her diminished powers, she finds that she can pass them on to her new lackey, Eclipse.
He's not able to use them much better than her right now but it saves her the embarrassment and it’s better than nothing!
With his help, she hopes to destroy the Star Guardian once and for all.
___________________________________
NAME: Miss (she/her)
AGE: 39
VA: Michele Knotz
ROLE: Side Character
BIO:
Miss is Aika and Zira's very tired teacher.
Looking at her, you might assume she hates her job, but it's quite the opposite. She pours everything into her work and into her students, leaving very little time for her personal life.
She's recently started trying to get it together (after her ex-wife left her) but is still struggling to find that work-life balance.
Prior to Aika enrolling, Miss was Zira's only friend at school and, though she'd never admit it, Zira's probably the closest thing Miss has to a friend also (oof). She's subsequently become a secret Moon Sailor fan, too.
Not "The Character did nothing wrong" or "The Character is irredeemably awful" but a secret third thing: The Character may display moments of deep love & compassion, may even have a strong sense of ethics, and may also be capable of brutal cruelty that is irreconcilable with those traits. The constant tension between the different sides of The Character's nature is exactly what makes them compelling, and attempting to reduce them down to simply "a terrible person" or "innocent & misunderstood" is missing the point of the questions a media with nuanced characters is asking you to consider
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."
My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.
For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish
also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.
also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.
gummygunk
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
origamiaround
pixelskylines
stormborns
