Welcome

[snurrt]

[bob-belcher]

[timepunkspg-deactivated20180516]

the chemical mentioned in the article… like only if you ate 100kg of mac and cheese in one sitting… that’s how much it’d take to be toxic.

[thyrell]

well i know what the fuck and how the fuck much im doing for dinner today

[jdseyebrows]

Bad content? On my blog? Its just as likely as you thi

[standards123]

me: it’s ok i’m not mad me 5 mins later: actually? you can go to hell

[i-alwayslikedstrangecharacters]

The Skeleton Dance (1929)

[scrantonpaper-deactivated201809]

Excuse me, are you the guy who did an entire Law & Order episode for his audition?

[cartooncoyote]

A sword that screams whenever you swing it, and the volume is directly tied with how fast its swung

[goobus-deactivated20171001]

Finally, a good post

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[bumblebeebats]

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

[trapcard]

you know how in some video games you’ll get an animal companion that follows you every where? i thought it was cute until it started happening IRL with this fucking dog. My parent’s dog literally follows me everywhere and when i’m not moving he just sits there and either looks at me or sleeps. i went to take a shower and he fell asleep outside the bathroom door waiting for me. like go the fuck away. go away!! 

[joshpeck]

i have never read anything so ungrateful in my lifetime

[tsunderetonic]

[captumbleweed-deactivated202505]

Isn’t this the pancake boy?

[tsunderetonic]

No.

[thewickedavatar]

it is absolutely the pancake boy

[tsunderetonic]

proofs?

[thewickedavatar]

BEHOLD!!!!!!

[mjalti]

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

[eclipticzero]

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

[mjalti]

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

[karlidagdanserin-deactivated202]

[switchbutch]

A moment of peace

[myanacondadontexist]

the water is so clear….. he’s flying

[anthropophagiie]

This tiny octopus, whose body measured about five centimeters across, was spotted swimming along at a depth of 825 meters as we explored Whiting Seamount, off Puerto Rico.

[uhhcleo]

[landoftalking]

[noooofeeeeelings]

[predictivetextbot]

You ever just think, like, what the fuck is going on?

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

the bots have reached peak relatable