“Things my friend Joey has texted me” RP meme
“I THINK I may have just ran into your brother.”
“NO THINKING HE’S YOUR BROTHER AND NOW I’M SCARED.“
“WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KILL ME”
“oh wait he has a bottle of pope for me.”
“HEY I HAVE BOUGHT YOU APPLES AND MY BROTHER IS DRIVING ME TO YOUR HOUSE. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS AS AN APOLOGY FOR LAST WEEK. ALSO. MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON MY PHONE.”
“I THINK I SET YOUR DOG OFF AND NOW HE’S BARKING A LOT OH GOD”
“YOUR DAD IS HERE OHGODHELPME”
“IT’S COLD AND THE DOG KEEPS BARKING”
"I THINK I KICKED YOUR CAT??? IT ATTACKED MY LEG”
“I’M LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD IN A 17 YEAR OLD’S BODY. ONLY THEY’D BE BETTER AT TALKING.”
“WHOOPS JUST DROPPED AN APPLE OUT THE WINDOW.”
“I HOPE THAT GUY ON THE SIDEWALK IS OKAY.”
“My brother is driving faster because the guy got up and he looks very mad.”
“I seriously just walked into a door frame. Why is everyone in this house a midget?!”
“I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE YOU.”
“I’m scared that you’re just going to be like ‘please stop coming over after midnight’ and I’ll just be stuck in my house.”
“I think I just got stabbed but I’m not sure. It hurts. Is this what it feels like to be a girl on her period? You describe it like getting stabbed in the stomach so… I guess???”
“MY SISTER IS MISSING. AGAIN. WHY ARE SIX YEAR OLDS SO HARD TO WATCH?”
“My brother is just screaming about how his favorite pop got discontinued and I’m just sitting here like ‘I’d comment but I don’t have a fucking voice.’”
“Sometimes I wish I could talk so I could just yell at that ONE BITCH FROM THE PARKING LOT THAT YELLS AT ME IN THE MORNING.”
“I really like cats. Cats get me. All they can do is purr and whine and meow. Kinda like me. Not being able to actually say shit is annoying. At least their species gets them.”
“At least you talk to me. Some people kinda leave me alone because I can’t say anything.”
“MY BROTHER IS THROWING SMALL EGGS AT THE PEOPLE WHO BEAT ME UP LAST WEEK.”
“I’ve never been happier to be a pacifist.”
“MY GOD UNDERTALE IS LIFE WHY DID YOU NOT INTRODUCE ME SOONER?”
“I am Flippy Faced Dino… err. Monster Kid.”
“GIVE ME A TUMBLR PLEASE. PLEASE. MAYBE?”