professional hater

i will post whatever i am hyperfixating on at the moment and nothing else.

[teh-nos]

oh no my pornography is turning into an angst-filled character study

[renee561]

Oh no my angst-filled character study is turning into pornography

[evilphrog]

[allpiesforourown]

[bluestrawberry7]

every day i wake up frenzied and gasp is it august 27th yet and then look at my calendar and cry. and they pat me on the back and say let's get you back to bed

cr memes part 14

[anutzica]

an excerpt of the fall will kill you, the essek short story in the mighty nein: stories untold was just released! dani carr, ily and i'm obsessed with this already:

[lovebugships]

I'm on a mission to draw every Disney couple as lesbians because the world needs more yuri! My partner and I were watching Hercules last night, so it's the first to get hit with the yuri beam

Taglist + redraw without ref under the cut (feel free to suggest disney couples to do this to!!)

Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus

@changeling-selfship @crushes-georg @cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @rejaytionships @sunflawyer @in-true-blue-love

@tropicalgothships @little-miss-selfships @hotrodharts @cupiidzbow @frozenhi-chews @limey-self-inserts @candyheartedchy

[spocktheestallion]

Gynecologist: Are you sexually active?

Me, lying, not wanting her to think I’m a loser: oh yeah

Remembering she’s trying to rule out if my symptoms could be caused by pregnancy: but like only with other women

Remembering she could also be trying to rule out if my symptoms could be caused by an STI: and I’m always super safe

Not wanting her to think I’m a slut: only occasionally though. Like not TOO much

Still wanting her to think I’m cool: but still like a good amount. Like the normal amount

[spocktheestallion]

Lying to the gynecologist and saying I’m sexually active so she doesn’t think I’m a loser

[crowindisguise]

"youre not always nice but youre kind and youre not always perfect but youre good" is the perfect analysis of supergirl's character and its such a beautiful message for young women

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

*Me sitting down to write smut.*

But first! We must thoroughly understand this man's fractured and devastated sense of self. Only then can we truly appreciate how connected he feels to her while finger-banging the soul from her body.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You should be able to adopt adults for inheritance purposes like in Ancient Rome. Yeah this is Cathy the 23 year old and she’s my daughter now. She has my last name. When I die she inherits the tire shop.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cathy will bring glory and dignitas to this America’s Tire franchise location just as I and my father did before her.

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digital illustration of Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss from Critical Role. They're facing each other, looking at each other with affectionate expressions. Essek is holding a purple parasol patterned with silver constellations over both of their heads. End description.]

Wizards <3

[notsoangrybabsarts]

prompt by @spottedenchants!! 💖 because how could I not put Essek in a domestic situation, you'll get used to it buddy, don't worry 😌

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[agentofdeterioration]

The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called “boring as hell,” but I can’t help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, “anybody here tonight from Chicago?” and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering

Homer’s like, “and there were forty black ships from… LOCRIS” and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts

[essektheylyss]

Though if we do consider the facts (Essek is a lying liar who lies so who knows if he was telling the truth about the Bazzoxan situation given he lied to the Nein about other information that was verifiable by talking to literally anyone else in the upper dens; also the animated canon shows him with his mother and Verin but doesn't deign to include his father) and want to throw out some crack suggestions, we do know one elf who was in Wildemount at the time, firmly in the political scene, and perfectly willing to quietly cross borders for his own bewildering purposes. And I'm just saying, we've never seen him and Essek's father in the same room........ 🤔

[essektheylyss]

Of course the damning problem with this is that Ludinus Da'leth absolutely does not have the game to pull a nigh-immortal bisexual bad bitch who has spend more than a millennium surrounded predominantly by hot women. He simply does not.

[helenvaughans]

📢📢📢

[essektheylyss]

Okay but for real who is in charge of Den Thelyss and what the fuck kind of state are they in. A major ruling den just had its millennium old matriarch get typhros and have herself offed by her formerly promising if kind of antisocial eldest son. He maybe went mad with grief about it and is now a fugitive of the state. His younger brother is off being hot and angsty and maybe passively suicidal at the front of every vanguard against extraplanar threats that the Dynasty deems within their purview. Their father apparently died semi-recently and will probably be back? Is he just going to walk back in at some point to find his whole house in shambles???

[essektheylyss]

I'm just saying, Essek's father truly out here as a wildcard competitor for longest-suffering man in Exandria

[spocktheestallion]

There’s gotta be in-world rumors that Den Thelyss is cursed. In the span of a couple years its umavi died permanently, her partner died at Bazzoxan and for whatever reason hasn’t come back yet, her only biological heirs (does biological even matter in the dynasty if reincarnation is a fact of life? That’s also gotta muddy the inheritance laws there) are not one but BOTH new souls. And one of them was a heretical freak who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. People have GOTTA be suspecting a curse on their house

[ravioliet]

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies