sheepfilms
trying on a metaphor
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
macklin celebrini has autism
pixel skylines
NASA
KIROKAZE
Stranger Things
Not today Justin
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle
hello vonnie
Product Placement
Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
noise dept.
titsay
izzy's playlists!
Kaledo Art
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@sleepdepriveddreamer
My main problem as a person is that while I have no problem following orders when someone else knows what to do, and I have no problem taking charge when I'm the one to know what to do, if I'm put into a position where someone who should know what to do doesn't have a clear plan and isn't giving orders, and I feel like I'm supposed to take command in a situation where I have no idea what we should be doing next, I'm going to start throwing wrenches at people.
Wait fuck am I a horse??
In need of urgent help for educational funds, medical care, and bills. Thank you for taking time to read!
Hi and hello! My friends finally convinced me to post after months of being knee-deep in debt and I hope people will make time to read through. I am posting as the first-born child of a lower class family from the Philippines, both for my parents and my two siblings in school. Any amount will help us greatly.
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As of last year, our family has fallen really deep in financial problems to the point that food and other amenities sometimes become unaffordable for a week.
My father (53) had developed long term chronic pain from a failed stroke treatment during the pandemic and is now a registered PWD. My mother (44) is a self-employed seamstress with slowly declining eyesight which we could not afford to get checked. I have two siblings both in school, with a brother (13) in highschool and a sister (21) in Veterinary Medicine college. I myself (24) recently graduated with my bachelor's, and eventually pushed through to apply for master's studies in Biology, hoping to finally get a better job soon.
Unfortunately, in order to graduate as soon as I can, I had to quit my job as a university researcher working with the Department of Health. I am currently looking for a scholarship to cover my own costs, but their funding will not be available until later this year. This country also provides little to no financial aid to its poor and disabled, and will not even provide jobs below the minimum wage even for people with college degrees.
Without a steady source of income, the bills for my tuition, siblings' educational needs, parent's medicine, and general utilities (food, water, electricity, etc.) had piled up. My father took in loans to keep us afloat but we have no pay this month or the next.
In this month and August alone, we are short on about 30,520 Philippine Peso (roughly 540.04 USD). This covers loan payments so banks don't come after us, miscellaneous school fees for my siblings and I, and bills to keep a roof over our heads.
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Some platforms do not work for us in the Philippines, but I do have PAYPAL and KOFI !
I attached images for proof below the cut. Any amount is a great help to my family and a boost would also be greatly appreciated! Again, thank you very much for taking the time to read this ā”
not sure why obsession with trains is seen as an autism thing when i think any reasonable human being with joy in their heart should be at least a little obsessed with trains. decently reliable public transport? with a rhytmic soothing motion but steady enough on long distances that you could read or draw while riding? getting to see the sights as you speed past? 10/10 best way to travel.
hi universe so can an extrovert with similar interests adopt me already ššš» i have all this unhinged energy but also social anxiety and it's eating me aliiiive
And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.
You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you canāt do it for much longer.
My therapist told me that you donāt only spiral down. You can spiral up again. So maybe one day
You water your plants for the first time in a while. Surprisingly theyāre not dead yet. You remember a movie that you really enjoy and you find the energy to watch it. You feel better afterwards. Maybe you still canāt find the motivation to reply to your friends but you buy yourself a nice scented candle and read your book. You take a nice long shower and you feel refreshed, so you put on an outfit you find cool. Then after what seems like forever, you get a good night of sleep. You wake up with more energy than usual so you play with your dog. Then you cook that healthy meal you really enjoy. You reach out to a friend.
You start remembering what brought you joy. You start again with the little things. You look back on the days that have passed and feel relieved theyāre over.
Remember, you donāt just spiral down. You spiral up as well, even if it takes more effort to get started.
In my āif they choose to leave, let them goā era.
šāā¬š¤
last week to get Gracie š¤
If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)
I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).
Exchange "damn, I didn't do that thing I wanted to do for two whole weeks, I'm such a failure I might as well give up" with "now that I'm finally feeling better, I'll return to working on that habit again" and you'll get a whole lot further in life!
Louise GlĆ¼ck, from āMutable Earthā, Poems 1962-2012
PLEASE LOOK AFTER MOM, kyung-sook shin, trans. chi-young kim
the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.
I am loved. I am loved. I am loved.
so why is there so much anger that I will lash out at people who love me? why is there so much rage that my thoughts wildly race with violence? why is there so much resentment that I am willing to drop everybody and run run run away?
I am loved. I love my people. And I am so so guilty of not being a great person to love.
It's a vicious cycle and I feel like I need perspective but how do you step out of this without detaching?
just as you do not need to forgive someone in order to grow past what they did, you also do not need someoneās forgiveness to grow past what you did.
you had a bad moment. a bad series of moments. you were struggling with mental health or addiction. you were selfish. you were an asshole. you made a mistake. whatever happened, you hurt someone you cared about.
you should make an effort to repair the harm done. you should take accountability, responsibility, face the consequences as a result. but maybe they donāt forgive you. they donāt ever want to speak with you again. they hate you.
thatās okay too. you are not forever tainted by their lack of forgiveness. you do not need to live forever with the weight of what happened on your shoulders. you are allowed to move on, too. you cannot deny what happened or the harm caused or even deny them their own response to it. but their response to it is not your responsibility, only your actions and their consequences are.
you are allowed to grow. you can change for the better. you can say āI did this, it was wrong and caused harm, and this is how Iāve changedā and that is a good, positive result you should move towards. forgiveness is not a requirement for growth. you should be grateful when it is available, but your progress is not dependent on it.
if you ever catch yourself being happy, content, fulfilled and then you freeze, dissociating from the present moment because peace is so unfamiliar it feels like a threat; breathe. come back to your body. nothing is wrong, you are just happy. it's safe for you to be at ease. it's not an indicator that things will go wrong, it's an indicator that things are going right
this blog is really becoming all the words I can't say, all the reminders I wish I could remember, and all the mixed feelings of despair and wonder at life and people
