you're cool and sexy actually

welcome lovelies !!! cypress | they/them | i like pink things 💖

[thotsfortherapy]

hiii welcome to my blog here’s my carrd

[thotsfortherapy]

personally, after experiencing mass tragedy/death, the best thing someone did for me was bring me a container of soup

when you're grieving you often don't have the facilities to take care of yourself. thoughts and prayers only go so far - my house is still messy, my laundry hasn't been done for 3 weeks, my fridge is empty, I have to submit claims to insurance, etc.

having someone come by and drop off food, help you in filling out forms or calling people, help you to go outside or tidy up a bit, those are all things that help so so much!

[thotsfortherapy]

things that can help someone going through a hard time:

offer to get groceries for them

order food to their house

bring over a meal

offer to help with laundry

take out garbage/recycling

help with calls to book therapy, create a police file, deal with insurance, deal with legal shit

help with forms for insurance etc

offer to take them outside, go on a walk/drive, etc

find a support group for people who have experienced similar things

compile a list of resources that could help

i also really appreciated a quick "hey maybe don't watch the news today" or "stay off xyz app" when other triggering events have happened afterwards (but obviously that is dependent on the person/situation)

please lmk if you have another suggestions or experiences of things that have helped you!

[thotsfortherapy]

personally, after experiencing mass tragedy/death, the best thing someone did for me was bring me a container of soup

when you're grieving you often don't have the facilities to take care of yourself. thoughts and prayers only go so far - my house is still messy, my laundry hasn't been done for 3 weeks, my fridge is empty, I have to submit claims to insurance, etc.

having someone come by and drop off food, help you in filling out forms or calling people, help you to go outside or tidy up a bit, those are all things that help so so much!

[kosmogrl]

[manwhorewednesdays]

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

[sadclowncentral]

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

[caydencrypted]

the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time

[caydencrypted]

another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world

[thotsfortherapy]

something I’ve learned about when it comes to keeping relationships with difficult family members is knowing how to accept them as they are and tapering your expectations

like, as a kid, I resented my mom cause she wasn’t able to do those stereotypical mom things like make dinner, pack us lunch, do laundry, etc etc. all the things society told me your mom does for you if she loves you

as an adult, I can understand the external factors that made those things difficult, namely undiagnosed ADHD lmao

so now, i know my mom struggles with those executive function tasks of being on time, preparing meals, cleaning, etc. as an adult, I can make the decision to not rely on her for those things, because I know she can’t meet those expectations

but I also know I can rely on her for things like helping with shopping when my partner is sick, helping me pick out meaningful gifts for people, picking up takeout, etc

tapering my expectations has allowed me to appreciate the ways she can show up for me - and the ways she has been showing up for me - instead of constantly being disappointed, which has really enhanced our relationship!

TL;DR if your dad doesn’t speak Spanish, don’t ask him to translate for you, you will be disappointed!

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I randomly remember how the most important people of my life from like 6-7 years ago are not in my life at all anymore and that's sort of terrifying and also crazy to realize how you actually can survive loss beyond your comprehension and find happiness stronger and more suited for you if you keep going

[solitairians]

happy friday the 13th/valentine's day double feature to all goths, emos, vampires, horror enthusiasts, reanimated corpses, romantics, weirdos, freaks, lovers, and everyone else who may celebrate

[1938rebecca]

not feeling your best?

very gentle yoga

you feel like shit (a self care guide)

disability accessible recipes

tips for baking with brain fog

stretches made more physically accessible

adjust your posture

the nine delights

different ways to rest

in-depth self care assessment

what to do when you've had a bad day

gentle ways to get back on track

how to feel your feelings

emotions & actions

[gatherthechicks]

Very helpful! Thank you! :) 🙏

♡ I wanted to share this with all of you. Being neurodivergent and having anxiety/c-ptsd can be incredibly exhausting at times for me! (Especially the brain fog, low energy days, and when I have anxiety/panic attacks. Sometimes I have what I like to call rolling attacks because they can last days!) I hope this can help out disabled folk, mentally ill folk, heck even the average person!

[kosmogrl]

[manwhorewednesdays]

This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.

Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".

[scorpionlafemme]

[thesophistiicate]

the ability to see more beauty in the world is a skill. the more beauty you see, the more comes to you, the more you create yourself. so much of the disempowerment people feel is because they are trained to see the ugly and negative in everything. you have to unpick your mind from the lure of negativity and train yourself to find beauty. if you want a beautiful life, it starts with learning to find the beauty everywhere.

[thotsfortherapy]

recently someone told me the best way to have a good morning is to have a good night the day before, and damn it does feel nice waking up refreshed and knowing my home is relatively clean

also keeping your phone in another room is a game changer (use an alarm clock)

[chungledown-bimothy]

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

[nojglisrenaissance]

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude

[cecil-speaks]

reblog to tell a teenager that these aren’t actually the best years of your life and that things can and will get better when you have independance and maybe are away from your situation right now.

Its me reblog to tell me that

[thotsfortherapy]

i've been looking a lot into acceptance and commitment therapy as a way to deal with my intrusive thoughts, and i can confirm that saying "i vvant to keel myself" in a dracula voice does in fact make the thought a lot less upsetting to have

[thotsfortherapy]

starting to realize that calling out mistreatment in some groups will make you some enemies. oh well, as Kendrick says, somebody's gotta do it...