Thats So Funny Its Stupid ಠ_ಠ

18+

[godkissedme]

High in the kitchen doing bullshit

[midnight-sunnydale]

Edward Cullen text posts part 2

[homunculus-argument]

I think "The Hangover" movies would work better as a whole movie genre. The beginning is always the same: group of friends wake up hungover as hell, to start figuring out what the hell happened last night. Turns out a lot happened. As a tradition of the genre, there's always an animal in the house that has no logical reason to be there.

But get this: The same premise every time, but in wildly different times and places. Victorian England, the gentlemen went fuckshit with some nice sherry, wrote some questionable letters, worked together to compose an absolutely idiotic thinkpiece essay and sent it to the local newsprint (the publishing of it must be stopped) and for some reason there's an ostrich.

A troupe of travelling performers in the late Kofun period wake up in the stables of an inn, and the main plot point is the little beast sleeping on someone's chest. None of them have ever seen a cat before, but one knows enough to tell that those are imperial pets, and whoever's fucking cat that is will both be capable and willing to kill whoever stole it. So they'd better fucking return it.

A Tepehuan group of youths find themselves way out of the place that they last remember they had been, for some reason someone's balls have been shaved and painted red, and the strange out of place animal sleeping at their makeshift campsite is some random swedish guy. The spaniards don't seem to know how the fuck he ended up there, either, but they clearly do not have a mutual language with each other.

[souf-v-staff-rematch]

[quasi-normalcy]

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

He does so to dodge the draft

[kynvillingur-deactivated2026021]

guy sitting in front of me in class was vandalizing wikipedia and i kept reverting his edits as soon as he made them and he couldn't figure out why it was happening

[kynvillingur-deactivated2026021]

absolutely

[ID: a tag by weirdlizard26, reading, “ive never seen death note but i think this is what death note is”. /end ID]

[bamkoon]

[whynotfabulous]

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

[whynotfabulous]

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

[gnomer-denois]

Because it's also evil

[whynotfabulous]

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

[whynotfabulous]

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

[trashboi413]

You meet god

[whynotfabulous]

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

[treslecheslife]

Whole, in one gulp.

[whynotfabulous]

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

[captain-oh-no-not-again]

Father of the Muffin Boy

[whynotfabulous]

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

[mayflydecember]

Car's haunted

[whynotfabulous]

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

[babybluebanshee]

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

[whynotfabulous]

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

[thegoodsandy]

into the sky, where it turns into stars

[whynotfabulous]

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

[daeynore]

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

[whynotfabulous]

....Ah

[whynotfabulous]

ChatGPT WISHES it was this coherent and creative

[mintmatcha]

executioner gets to pick his wife because he has the king's favor.

"you never deny the man who does the work no one else will do," the man says. "I will grant you whatever you desire as long as my hands stay unsullied."

never had he asked for anything. not nicer quarters or more wages or any luxuries. its the only reason he was able to save reader from her fate: it was the only thing in the world he seemed to want.

The king almost denied.

"Do you know to what she's been accused?" he asked. "Murder of two men."

"Aye."

"Dismemberment."

"Aye."

"Witchcraft."

"Aye."

The man leans back into his throne with a shrug. Time has made him soft, yet sharper, like a cheese let the age.

"If it's what you desire." He waves a hand into the air. "Her charges will be erased, but I cannot erase the minds of the townspeople. Her face will be stigmatized."

The executioner pulls at his mask, making sure its secured.

"Then we will have something in common."

[sofuton]

[goofstep]

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

[throughfearandtrembling-deactiv]

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

[goofstep]

im nice…..

[junglejim4322]

He’s literally nice

[cosmonautroger]

Milton Glaser, Therapy With A Tomato, 1978

[catasters]

[thickness-protection-program]

Diva down

[crazy-brazilian]

[crazy-brazilian]

[grimalditeuthis]

striking amount of similarity between the phrases "babbling brook" & "grappling hook"

[grimalditeuthis]

could be nothing

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[hxgrl]

Whats the opposite of a girlboss. Im like a girlfailure

[hxgrl]

You're all fucking welcome

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

"gaining eight notes in two years" is devastating