[moldavite]

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

[segamascott]

[starless-planet]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharaoh’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharaoh’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharaoh’s wrath

[glamrockmike]

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

[gammadoppler]

"cash or card?" ummmmmm dubloons lol

[mold-wizard]

So a lot of wizards talk about trapping people in crystals and mirrors; I'm branching out. Turns out with the right spells you can trap people in just about anything. Light bulbs. Apricot pits. Flash drives. Hamburger wrappers.

I just created a spell to trap a guy in his own left eye. Which... yeah, okay, actually I admit I'm not sure how that worked, or where he actually went, or if it's ever possible to bring him back, but... whatever.

[charl0ttan]

there used to be a wizard by where i live who could unsuck your dick. the wizard part was incidental it was just a trick he had that he would teach us. and then they put in that no good wizard killing machine

[christslamb]

German hunting knife, 19th century

[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[mysteryteacup]

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

[markscherz]

[professor-winter]

ʙᴏᴛᴀɴʏ ᴘᴛ. 1

P.D. Mood boards aren't back, but I've got some queued because I was stressed and needed a release...

[pureseasalt]

He leaned closer to the gun.

IT MATTERS TO ME THAT HE LEANED CLOSER TO THE GUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

[brenna]

[teaboot]

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[fadingponycookiedream]

[andsorrowsend]

[werefeathers]

[catchymemes]

[curioscurio]

also to the random guy at the antique store: I saw you take out and leave that elon musk mug with hearts around his face and then drive away in your cyber truck. are you not proud of daddy musk anymore ? you abandoned the carcas of your golden calf yet rode away wearing its skin for all to see

[mephostophilus]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

hello

(ink: diamine oxblood)

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

this is where i post from

[wizardpotions]

The reason wizards wear lots of jewelry is for self defense.

I shoot a beam at my wizard nemesis but it reflects flawlessly off of his Claire accessories clip on earrings, killing me instantly.

[fairycosmos]

stomach hurts from hunger. stomach hurts from eating. what the hell do yuou want from me you stupid fucking organ