EPIC FUCKING WIZARD BLAST

Peony | Any/All But Not He/Him | Bard/Artificer | VERY MAJOR TW: UNREALITY (THIS IS NOT REAL)

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

(OOC)

Hi gamers

the main account for this blog has been shadowbanned so

@epicer-fucking-wizard-blast

[bone-free-as-the-wind]

All hail Volcano Snail

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Finally. Snail knight.

[the-adhd-sorcerer]

I’m gonna eat snail knight

[the-gnomish-bastard]

You cannot. Their armor is too thick.

[fix-it-wizard]

For Sale

Here’s this week’s selection of magic items for you guys:

Scroll of Banish Gnome

Scroll of Reveal Weakness

Scroll of Tower Cleaning

Staff of Healing

A key I found to a weird abandoned manor on Warlock Hill. Could be renovated into a full wizard lair?

Anti-Fireball Salve

Potion of Mirrorwalking

I am willing to negotiate on prices, or trade for items. Send me a letter if you wish to discuss some ‘premium’ items…

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

is that key still available? my tower has horrifying orb connection and hopefully this one is better.

[fix-it-wizard]

Sorry, but the key has been sold/returned to @slightlyspooky. Maybe I could hook you up with a Glyph of Connection instead, to fix your orb problem? I can install it right onto your roof and it provides excellent orb connection, guaranteed.

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

shit fr? yeah that would be great.

[fix-it-wizard]

Ok excellent! That will be 3 secrets of kings long gone, but I’m open to haggling. Alternatively, you can make me an offer.

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

three? fuck me. uhh... the noodle bar is owned by 3 goblins, and is the center of the multiverse. (does that count as 2) clitoral combustion is just a weak explosion spell.

[fix-it-wizard]

For Sale

Here’s this week’s selection of magic items for you guys:

Scroll of Banish Gnome

Scroll of Reveal Weakness

Scroll of Tower Cleaning

Staff of Healing

A key I found to a weird abandoned manor on Warlock Hill. Could be renovated into a full wizard lair?

Anti-Fireball Salve

Potion of Mirrorwalking

I am willing to negotiate on prices, or trade for items. Send me a letter if you wish to discuss some ‘premium’ items…

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

is that key still available? my tower has horrifying orb connection and hopefully this one is better.

[fix-it-wizard]

Sorry, but the key has been sold/returned to @slightlyspooky. Maybe I could hook you up with a Glyph of Connection instead, to fix your orb problem? I can install it right onto your roof and it provides excellent orb connection, guaranteed.

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

shit fr? yeah that would be great.

[dieplz]

very real behind the scenes photo of the wizardposting tumblr community

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

gnome is that you.

[fix-it-wizard]

For Sale

Here’s this week’s selection of magic items for you guys:

Scroll of Banish Gnome

Scroll of Reveal Weakness

Scroll of Tower Cleaning

Staff of Healing

A key I found to a weird abandoned manor on Warlock Hill. Could be renovated into a full wizard lair?

Anti-Fireball Salve

Potion of Mirrorwalking

I am willing to negotiate on prices, or trade for items. Send me a letter if you wish to discuss some ‘premium’ items…

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

is that key still available? my tower has horrifying orb connection and hopefully this one is better.

[profeshinul-wizurd]

I'm celebrating my tower going 1 entire month without a workplace accident. Anyone is welcome to come to the party, but there should be

1: no summoning things

2: No hexes or curses cast

And 3: ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING THE BIG VAT OF MYSTERY LIQUID IT IS VERY DEADLY AND WILL KILL YOU

And those are all the rules, feel free to bring anyone or anything along!

Complimentary snacks and drinks are at the party.

The party is on the 4th of November.

People who are asked to attend but don't have to:

@wizard-island-trading-co

@odd-animated-armor

@panem-crustus

@monsterfucker-research-wizard

@slutty-wizard-council

@safetysign-wizard

@mushroom-wizard

@malware-wizard

@officialgrigori

@song-de-lune

@jhomikle

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

I know I want on the invite list can I come tho

It seems fun

[profeshinul-wizurd]

Please read more close

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

damn im dumb as shit

[profeshinul-wizurd]

I'm celebrating my tower going 1 entire month without a workplace accident. Anyone is welcome to come to the party, but there should be

1: no summoning things

2: No hexes or curses cast

And 3: ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING THE BIG VAT OF MYSTERY LIQUID IT IS VERY DEADLY AND WILL KILL YOU

And those are all the rules, feel free to bring anyone or anything along!

Complimentary snacks and drinks are at the party.

The party is on the 4th of November.

People who are asked to attend but don't have to:

@wizard-island-trading-co

@odd-animated-armor

@panem-crustus

@monsterfucker-research-wizard

@slutty-wizard-council

@safetysign-wizard

@mushroom-wizard

@malware-wizard

@officialgrigori

@song-de-lune

@jhomikle

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

I know I want on the invite list can I come tho

It seems fun

[ashes2caches]

finally

[cryptotheism]

Recent dashboard trends tell me you're the resident expert on this so tell me. Gnomes - are they fuckable?

When two gnomes get married, they peck each other on the cheek and sleep in separate beds, and then a baby gnome grows out of the cabbage patch by the next sunrise.

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

im gonna get the experts on this. @the-gnomish-bastard is this true.

[blacktipreefsharkwizarding]

Wait okay hold on

TUMBLR WIZARDS OR WIZARDPOSTING ADJACENT ACCOUNTS PLEASE VOTE

Which one of these do you have?

Autism/ADHD/Both

Cluster A personality disorder, psychotic disorder, schizophrenia

Cluster B personality disorder

Cluster C personality disorder

Anxiety

Depression

Intellectual or developmental disorder

Dissociative disorder

Two or three of these (reblog/comment)

Four or five of these (reblog/comment)

All of these

Something else (reblog/comment)

Voting ended onNov 7, 2023

REBLOG FOR BIGGER SAMPLE SIZE PLEASE

[dugaodna]

[wizard-archivist-official]

Apparently there's yet another new generation of wizards on this website. We at the Archives are starting to feel practically geriatric, so we can only imagine how those who were here when we arrived are feeling! Nevertheless, there are certain traditions and rites that must be maintained, and so this is your regular reminder that:

Real wizards reject She Who Must Not Be Named, and love, cherish and defend transgender people - for genderfuckery is amongst the highest orders of wizardry

There are many councils, but there is only one The Council.

There are a few banned spells, including Ketamin Ape, Unbumble Bees, and some varieties of Penis Explosion. You can still cast banned spells, but it will upset the Council. @wizard-council-bureaucrat can tell you if a certain spell is banned.

Do not forget to get your hands on an orb to ponder, and remember to update your Wizard Insurance

Don't worry if you come across a terrifying eldritch being - we've got a few of those going around but they're mostly friendly.

And most important of all: have fun!

[elemer-the-necromancer]

good to be back

got lost in some asshole's pocket dimension again

wish I could determine why it's happening but I can never work out how I end up there in the first place.

please be mindful of where y'all leave your interdimensional traps...

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

trolled. (it wasn't me, i dont deal with that shit)

[notkatniss]

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

why is that fucking gnome (/pos) there

[fattocatto-wizard]

If anyone needs me, I’ll be off stealing crap on wizard college campus.

(Since I apparently can’t leave. I’m usually able to escape anywhere, but they’ve got this place looked down good. I tried teleporting out, it got redirected straight into a chamber full of water. Did not enjoy that)

Anyways, I’m getting revenge for when those dirty professors stole my catnip and laser pointers (they shoot actual lasers)

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

can i get a corkboard? and maybe just a whiteboard. if possible, a whole thing of red yarn, and some thumb tacks.

[evilwizard]

hi I'm from the traps guild. the fact i got into your tower without falling into any traps once is. uh. a problem in my eyes.

<|:^l

[evilwizard]

I DONT WANT TO BUY YOUR ADVANCED TRAPS AND SNARES PACKAGE GET OUT

[epic-fucking-wizard-blast]

the fucking spire to spire salespeople holy shit. i don't need your traps or hexes. i have a guitar and you will feel lightning coursing through your bones.