finished my randomized hardcore nuzlocke of pokémon black last night and i think i've finally accepted that nuzlockes permanently alter the way your brain interacts with these games. because once you've done enough of them, you stop thinking in terms of "good pokémon" and "bad pokémon."
some weird little guy you've ignored for fifteen years suddenly becomes the backbone of your entire run because he happened to have a decent ability and knew exactly the right move at exactly the right time. i think my favorite part of randomized runs is how they completely destroy your expectations. every route becomes a genuine mystery again.
when i was a kid i knew pokémon games inside out. i knew what every trainer was going to send out. i knew where every encounter was. i knew which gyms were scary and which ones weren't. randomizers take that comfort away in the best possible way. every single trainer battle has the potential to become the worst thing that's happened to you all week. you'll confidently walk up to a preschooler expecting a patrat or something equally harmless and suddenly they're leading with a salamence and you're just sat there whispering "you are six years old where did you get that."
hardcore rules make it even funnier because you don't get to fix your mistakes afterwards. there's no "it's okay i'll heal." no. you looked at that matchup. you thought "yeah that'll probably be alright." and then the universe politely informed you that it would not, in fact, be alright. also i think people who don't play nuzlockes underestimate how emotionally attached you get to complete nobodies. you'll catch something that wouldn't even make your regular in-game team, nickname it after the first thing that comes to mind, and twenty hours later you're sitting there genuinely upset because fluffy the palpitoad died buying your actual ace a free switch. like who the hell is fluffy. why am i mourning him. why did he matter so much.
it's because they're stories. that's genuinely all it is. the actual gameplay isn't what sticks with me years later. i don't remember half the champion teams i've beaten. i do remember the weird moments. zap the magnemite that survived on one hp four separate times. beerball the bibarel that somehow soloed an entire gym despite having absolutely no business doing so. the random encounter that immediately became team captain because everyone else was dead. those become little narratives your brain invents because the permanence of nuzlockes makes every decision feel consequential.
i think that's why i've never understood people who say nuzlockes "ruin" pokémon. if anything they make me appreciate the games more. they force you to engage with mechanics you'd normally ignore. they make you use pokémon you'd never voluntarily catch. they make every route feel like an expedition instead of a checklist. and, maybe most importantly, they remind you that pokémon has always been at its strongest when you're making your own stories. game freak gave me a cartridge sure but my poor decision making gave me an emotional support crustacean who carried the run despite every conceivable statistical probability. that's beautiful.
anyway i'm immediately starting another one because apparently i enjoy experiencing avoidable stress as a recreational activity.
