Paragon Till Death

Personal blog. Wield me like a sword and I will not fail you. 27

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.

[rakshar]

your forgiven.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

[cadet-abysmal]

Random tumblr blog roleplays as a philosopher. Shocks the masses by using big words just to say they think theyre better than you because you watch movies. WHHAAAAT?

[cheaphalloweencostume]

thats right

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the biggest word in this post is “entertained”

[wizardarchetypes]

today i died at sea

[wizardarchetypes]

i'm a romantic you see

[shencomix]

My Fitness Coach is a Dark Wizard [Complete]

[notahorseindisguise]

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

[notahorseindisguise]

genuinely no mary... the australian dollar is not doing great right now

[notahorseindisguise]

i need to type with more of an accent

[notahorseindisguise]

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

[redpandarascal]

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

[hong--zhi--zhu]

[frustratedasatruar]

[rainbowgod666]

Ok the last one got me laughing actually

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

[grymmoires]

[inexplicably-gaining-followers]

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

[the-haiku-bot]

This stupid exchange

between friends has become a

cultural icon.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[cozy-stardust]

Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.

[till-dawn-do-us-part]

[tim-official]

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

[tim-official]

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

[bobcat-pie]

[hollowedskin]

[poupon]

Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick

Dude come on

[poupon]

He tries his hardest with the crap they mine for him and this is what he gets, centuries of shit talk

[aflo]

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

[aflo]

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[aroaceenjolras]

This "allosexuality" thing is just a phase. You just need to have really bad sex, and then maybe you'll change your mind.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

[quorpiest]

no mi circo no mis feratus

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[sneebertdeebert]

Sneebert Deebert

[orcboxer]

[i-said-im-a-fucking-star]

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?