[ambigiousgelpens-deactivated202]

i gotta write a trope break where the dad’s favorite daughter gets a bf and instead of being suspicious the dad is like ‘YES. FINALLY. I HAVE A SON TO GO FISHING WITH’ ‘dad i go fishing with you every week’ ‘i know and i’ll always enjoy fishing with you more but I WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME. COME ON SON LET US FISH’ 

[ambigiousgelpens-deactivated202]

instead of cringing the daughter’s like ‘i’m sorry if you feel weirded out by my dad but i love him the way he is and u just gotta man up and deal with my awesome cringy dad’

boyfriend, who doesn’t have a good dad: i know this and i love him

[ambigiousgelpens-deactivated202]

bf: are you going to tell me to not break your daughter’s heart or you’ll break my legs or something? 

dad: no i know you wouldn’t do it on purpose and it’s stupid to get mad at someone for an accident. also, i trust my daughter’s taste in men and understand that heartbreak is a natural part of relationships. you will both hurt each other, but what’s important is being mature, forgiving, and loving through it. now, do you want a hamburger or a hotdog?

bf, crying a little: both, please mr. dad

[ambigiousgelpens-deactivated202]

instead of groaning at the dad jokes everyone is DELIGHTED and the dad stands as the pinnacle of humor, as dad jokes deserve to. 

[acadieum]

my professor was like “ok. I want yall to bite ur hand and see what kind of impression it leaves” and deadass nearly 80% of the class did it immediately, 10% reluctantly, and 10% didn’t do it at all.

and he absolutely lost it. he was gonna make his point but he meant the statement theoretically ig and couldn’t believe that most of the class actually did it lmfaO

we college students apparently are just empty minded bro, just ridin the waves. no cognitive thoughts in this brain, buddy! no thoughts! just absolutely vibin 24/7

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

Just want you to know I immediately bit my hand upon first sentance.

[headspace-hotel]

I can’t distinguish my own random impulses from someone elses ok

[slowlybecominglost]

I’m sad today.

[tarynel]

A man wearing the right cologne.. whew! HELLO! HI! HOW YA FUCKIN DOIN!?!?

[pr1nceshawn]

How Did They Get That Shot?

[alandstarkeeper]

@saltyrygar

[blue-areas]

I am about to lose my shit

Dude was vaping in that girl’s face for the gram

[memesandlaughs]

[byjove]

what city slickers don’t understand is that weird noises always come from the forest and we just ignore it

[byjove]

if you go out to investigate and get got then that is on you, ignore it and go back to sleep like a rational person

[desire-vogue]

[americanwizarding]

These pumps, crafted by Mexican designer Lucita Abarca, caused quite a stir at a recent Sixth Borough fashion show. These crystalline high-heels were grown by Wyrm’s Pass artisans, deep below the Rocky Mountains, using a mixture of firebird ash, waters from the springs at Paradiso, and a variety of secret ingredients, rumored to include Australian fire opals and powdered moonstone. The result of using the firebird ash become immediately recognizable when the heel of the shoe is dragged backward across any dry surface, as it creates an impressive streak of magical fire which can be accurately aimed with a little effot. Ms. Abarca said she wanted a shoe that made a statement, and that statement was “Any bastardo brujo catcalling me on La Plaza de Sangre better be ready to dose his huevos, you know?” 

[freshmouthgoddess]

Look the shoes to complete my death goddess look

[everythingfox]

“A baby fox showed up to say hi at my grandmother’s house“

Taken from r/aww

[everythingfox]

It has a friend! 😲

[should-be-sleeping]

It has a sibling.

I recognize that look of exasperation anywhere.

[z0mbit3s]

@i-miss-my-90gb

[sixpenceee]

This is a “wolfdog”, the result of the cross between a German shepherd and a wolf 🐺                           

Source

[dhampire666]

😍😍😍😍

[canisitsnotlupus]

I think this is super important to remember.

[thecharmparlor]

[rottendyke]

[ID: A series of three gifs of groups of white mushrooms surrounded by moss and dirt. In each gif it shows light raindrops hitting their caps and rain dripping from them in a really satisfying way.

/end ID]

[smorzando]

[manlethotline]

being an adult and buying your own shit is so weird i don't understand why anything is priced the way it is. why did my tattoo cost 8 toothpastes? why does a pair of socks cost a sandwich but a fancy dinner costs a whole jacket? why is book the same cost as 2 bag frozen vegetables? nothing makes sense i just wanna steal.

[paper-mario-wiki]

all those myths and legends you hear about uni professors being patient and understanding regarding human plight are true.

[paper-mario-wiki]

i was literally just feeling bad today and she totally gets it.

[sandersstudies]

I once had a one-day hospital stay and confessed to my professor that I felt like I’d lost a whole week to exhaustion, and asked whether I could have an extension on my paper: she asked how long I wanted, and when I left it to her, she gave me five days “to give you back the week you lost.”

[wishful-thinkment]

I once had a professor give me an extension that went all the way up to the day she had to submit my grades to the university all because I told her I was struggling

[spookyfbi]

I think what a lot of people forget about uni/college is that YOU are paying to be there, and that gives you a lot more control over the whole situation than you think. Particularly if you’ve come directly from school and you still have the mentality that these people are adults who are supposed to tell you what to do because you’re a child. Most uni professors think of you as fellow adults who are paying for a specialised service from them, and will want to treat you accordingly (though they usually do keep in mind that many of you are very new to adulting and may need more guidance than more experienced adults)

[booksrockmyface]

Also want to add: they cannot help if you don’t ask. If you just don’t do your assignments or show up without speaking to them, you will fail. If you are having a tough time, find the professor you trust the most (or your advisor) and ask them to help you find solutions to your problems.

[kaijutegu]

they cannot help if you don’t ask

One of my students contacted me recently about turning in her final paper- she wanted to know how late she could turn it in, because she was sick and couldn’t make it to campus. She’d turned in the online copy already, and because I knew she couldn’t make it in, I just printed it for her. Problem solved, no points missing for being late. I couldn’t have done that if she didn’t ask! Yes, some profs are jerks- but many are not. Lots of us just want to help.

[ruby-white-rabbit]

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

[timesalad]

You a mom now

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

[ruby-white-rabbit]

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

[mrswinterbarnes]

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

[ruby-white-rabbit]

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

[ruby-white-rabbit]

UPDATE

SHES BACK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

[odinspattern]

Call this one Susan

[smalltall]

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Yall this was from my stepmom today

Three? I’m sorry

THREE??

THERES MORE???

[ruby-white-rabbit]

For the newcomers: this is this year’s update. Sharron and Susan were May 2018. This year we have Helen, Linda, and Karen.

[link-the-feral-anon]

FIVE???

[ravenvsfox]

YA titles must contain one of the following words or you have to pay a fine:

blood crow queen ice crown fire bone true academy magic glass shade kingdom world shadow song sun ember secret legend star raven thief

[biglawbear]

I think I read that book once