this blog is for the GIRLS and the HOES HATELIST: DNI -Incessant whale sounds -LUCY WORSLEY (historian) and her eyebrows -The inspect element function -"moi" tags on Instagram -Invigilators -The sound of train brakes -Sand on suncream -Saying slay with no energy or conviction -OWEN SHEERS -WENDY COPE (NEEDS TO COPE) -mako sharks and their pedo noncey grin -Warm dishwasher smell -Bobby seagull and his bobby little head fuckoff -Men posing with one hand in their pocket, smouldering like some kind of Poundland ass Flynn Ryder -men standing against a wall with one leg flamingoed up against the wall like a NONCE -men (get real and become a girl or a hoe) -wine glasses, waitress trauma - ugly ass Toby jugs -men with guitars of any kind aside from sometimes bass because that's pretty sexy tbh -Weather reports and fucking icebars -ungrateful people, especially people ungrateful to low-paid workers who they treat as beneath them -biting your cheek or tongue by accident, hurts worse than childbirth -mr mime the Pokémon -SMA logo. -Dan snows history hits. -School photographers -BREATHING IN WHILE EATING A BISCUIT -ucas website -BINOMIAL EXPANSION -Aaron -chrome -bullshit chess variants -that MAGIC GUY who lied and said mine and Ravi's 7th birthday parties were equally good-chipmunks AND chipettes -@deeppyro 's inbox -the number 4 -red leister cheesecake+ orange juice -menstruation -mechanical pencils -all ukeleles -terry -caoimhe -all of my past and present coworkers -perchance -people called Duncan -claudia winkleman (would not winkle) -Worst enimys -the entire philosophy of emails -the word gilet "jeeeeelay" -speedos -eating a grapefruit in two halves, especially with a broad, blunt spoon -mako sharks -josephine colling fucking collander ass bitch -fist bumps -dry skin -nazis -anon. -@iwanttostealyourcat
this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem
1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"
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